Author: Syntyche
Rated: PG
Archive: Ask me? Just so I know where it's going. ;)
Disclaimer: Not mine. I make no money off of these characters. I only play with them because I love them. :) I know the disclaimer should be longer, but I'm too tired to write one, so I'll stick a long one at the end.;)
Tissue Warnings: None that I'm aware of
Obi-torture with resultant Qui-angst: Moderate to heavy
As always! Thanks to the members of betas_anonymous, without whom I
would definitely lack the guts to post anything (except 'Just Easier …
' *g*)
Synopsis: Qui-Gon recovers from the duel with the Sith and spends some down time with Anakin on Tatooine. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has yet to resolve his feelings about being Anakin's master and dealing with Qui-Gon's hurtful actions before the Council. At Yoda's decision, Obi-Wan is sent to the planet Xin to mediate between warring factions, where he becomes a pawn in a deadly conspiracy. Will Qui-Gon be able to win the race against time with Obi-Wan's life and the fate of a planet in the balance?
*g* I love a clichéd synopsis. ;)
I'll try to post as often as possible, but people, you know me, it's
generally a week between posts. Thank you so much for taking the time to
review my fic, though, it certainly reminds me that people actually want
to know what happens and that I need to write. :)
To Whom Loyalty Is Owed
By: Syntyche
Chapter One
The Temple mess was unusually boisterous this evening – due in part, he knew, to the Choosings that taken place earlier in the day. The air had been tautly strung with nervousness at morning meal, but now, with the successful Choosing of new Padawans by uncommitted Jedi Masters, the happy former Initiates were celebrating among their friends with a round of – he thought he could see – jabanana splits.
The newly Knighted Jedi in the farthest corner of the room watched them with a mixture of affection and sadness, and a resentment he was trying very hard to quash. He remembered his own Choosing, how desperate he had been to attract the attention of a Jedi Master who would be willing to train him, how proud he'd been to win the training duel … his anger and dismay at Qui-Gon's rejection of him and the tense trip to Bandomeer that had followed.
Obi-Wan Kenobi permitted himself a bitter laugh he wouldn't normally allow. It was really only fair he'd been denied the chance to Choose his own Padawan: his former Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, had been denied the chance, as well. It was only right that just as Qui-Gon had been forced to take the Padawan no one had wanted, he, Obi-Wan, had been bound by a desperate promise to take and train Qui-Gon's golden child. Well, attempt to train, anyway.
Defensively, Obi-Wan huddled deeper into the secluded corner as his swirling, unwelcome doubts played themselves out as they had numerous times following Qui-Gon's near-fatal injury.
//red//
Qui-Gon had had a cause. This he could see, give mental assent to, even. Could rationalize, agree with, and explain away with a painfully false smile on his face. He understood that he was older, now, and should have been prepared to be knighted and on his own, and ready for the bond between he and his master to be severed just as neatly as his braid had been in a hasty ceremony that had taken place as soon as Qui-Gon was able to attend. He understood that he should have been ready, should have been pleased his Master thought him prepared enough to take the Trials.
But when it all came down to it, the betraying whisper of his heart told him that, since Tatooine, his master had had no other consideration but the boy. Qui-Gon hadn't thought twice about humiliating and renouncing his apprentice before the entire Council, or announcing to the Council he believed Obi-Wan ready to take the Trials; but in the next moment treating him as if he were still a child to be talked down to, reprimanded, and ignored.
//blue fire, striking the red//
Nor had his master hesitated to, with what he believed to be his final breath, request that he, Obi-Wan Kenobi, take up the task that Qui-Gon himself had been denied by the Council – to train the boy, Anakin; the same boy who taken what had been Obi-Wan's life and chopped it into tiny pieces – and then blasted it into an oblivion.
//blue. blue. blue. red//
Obi-Wan pushed the food around on his plate, needing but not wanting the nourishment the fresh meats and tubers offered, and uncaring that his slumped posture or the way his chin rested dejectedly in his upturned hand didn't present the image of a dignified Jedi Knight – Master?? – to the group of new Padawans or the other Initiates in the room.
Obi-Wan breathed a sigh. He didn't mean to think ill of his former Master. Qui-Gon was the father he'd never known, his family for the past twelve years of his life. Still, Obi-Wan couldn't help but wonder if the man he loved deeply as a father and respected so greatly had known exactly what he'd asked for in securing Obi-Wan's promise to train the boy.
//promise me … //
He couldn't train Anakin. He was no more than newly-promoted Knight himself … how could he find it in himself to instruct another, especially the boy Qui-Gon believed was the Chosen One?
//train him … //
Obi-Wan viciously smashed his vegetables into a pile of mush. At least he had a few days' respite from both his padawan and his former master with which to hopefully sort out the jumble of confusion that was now his life. After a week in the bacta and another flat on his back in the Healers Ward, it was suggested that the still-healing Qui-Gon Jinn leave the bustling atmosphere of Coruscant – with a Healer in tow, of course – for a brief off-planet respite. To Obi-Wan's initial shock, Qui-Gon had chosen Tatooine, and – Obi-Wan swallowed – had requested Anakin accompany him. Asking Obi-Wan himself had been an afterthought, and only, Obi-Wan surmised with a faintly bitter taste in his mouth, because he was 'officially' Anakin's Master, not because he had been Qui-Gon's apprentice.
Obi-Wan had, of course, politely declined, with the sharp feeling he would just be in the way anyway. And as he'd been mostly occupied with caring for Qui-Gon since their return from Naboo just two short weeks ago, he and Anakin had barely attempted to form a bond – and one had not been unconsciously formed as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's had. Consequently, relations had become strained between Obi-Wan and Anakin as Qui-Gon's convalescence slowly ended, and Anakin repeatedly pled to be returned to Qui-Gon's side and placed under his guidance and direction.
It was a grand start to a budding apprenticeship.
//promise me … //
Obi-Wan brushed his fingers quickly through his short ginger hair, causing the spikes to stand on end, and rose gracefully but tiredly, the stoop of fatigue evident in his broad shoulders.
"Knight Kenobi."
The deep voice froze Obi-Wan in the act of leaning over to retrieve his meal tray.
"Something wrong with the meal the Temple cooks have prepared for us today?"
Obi-Wan glanced down guiltily at his plate, still filled with meat, tubers, and a mushed-up pile of vegetables. "Ah – no, Master Windu," he murmured, but he couldn't think of anything else to say to the Council member. //red on blue//
"I'd like to speak with you if I may, Knight Kenobi. While you finish your meal," Mace Windu added pointedly.
"Yes, Master Windu," Obi-Wan replied obediently, but it came out as a quiet sigh. If Mace noticed, he gave no sign, instead taking a seat across from the one Obi-Wan had just vacated and gesturing the young man back down to his chair. Obi-Wan plunked himself into the seat, but sat respectfully upright instead of reverting to his normal comfortable sprawl or the slump he had effected just a moment ago, and re-collected the meal tray Master Windu graciously pushed back at him.
"Knight Kenobi, it has come to our – " and Obi-Wan wondered if he meant his and Master Yoda, or the entire Council " – attention that perhaps training the boy, the 'Chosen One,'" Obi-Wan ignored the sarcasm in the older man's voice, "is too much for you at this time."
Obi-Wan sat back, startled. He was allowed to have doubts his abilities. The Council could not. "I have discussed this with Master Yoda already," he pointed out. //promise me// "I gave Qui-Gon my word that I would train Anakin, and I will."
Mace frowned. This wasn't quite going as he'd intended. He dropped formalities, hastening to take Obi-Wan off the defensive. "Obi-Wan … you've been caring for Qui-Gon without pause since your return from Naboo. Even at the expense of your apprentice." He held up a hand to forestall Obi-Wan's automatic protest even though the young Jedi knew the Council Member spoke the truth. "I am told you have not even formed a training bond with Anakin."
Obi-Wan flinched. Qui-Gon had needed tended to. He leaned forward, pushing his meal tray out of the way so he could lean his elbows against the tabletop. "Qui-Gon – "
"Is well on his way to recovery now," Mace interrupted. "And the boy is with him on Tatooine." He paused, waiting until Obi-Wan's eyes came up to meet his. "The Council has decided to give you a chance to 'stretch' your diplomatic muscles before Qui-Gon and Anakin arrive home and you return to mothering Qui-Gon and ignoring your apprentice." He overlooked the hardening in the blue-grey eyes, waiting until Obi-Wan's carefully controlled calm returned and his mouth released the thin line it had become. "Qui-Gon and Anakin aren't due to return for another four days. You shouldn't be away more than six. The boy will be cared for until your return."
Obi-Wan said nothing, so Mace continued. "The two warring factions of the planet have called a temporary cease fire and are willing to initiate peace talks. Chancellor Palpatine wishes to send a Jedi as mediator. You will preside over the talks." A hesitant look crossed Obi-Wan's face. Mace leaned forward and gave him a warm smile. "You've watched Qui-Gon do it for years, and I know you've done your share in aiding with the negotiation process. The Council has complete confidence in your abilities in this area, Obi-Wan."
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said doubtfully. He was expecting a catch somewhere. And, whether he had wanted the job or not, he was Anakin's teacher. "I should be here when Anakin arrives."
"Understand this, we do, young Kenobi," a new voice interrupted. Obi-Wan's eyes widened as Master Yoda joined them. "Think it best, though, we do, that a short respite you take before return to Coruscant your Master and Padawan do."
Obi-Wan didn't feel like correcting Master Yoda by telling him Qui-Gon was no longer his Master, and it would have been disrespectful anyway, so he kept his mouth closed. "Master Yoda," he bowed his head in greeting.
Yoda's lips twitched in a smile. "Doubts you have, young one?"
Obi-Wan raised a skeptical eyebrow. Did he ever. He was confused by
the Council's recent actions where Anakin was concerned. He wondered if
he was asking for trouble by his first question, but pressed on anyway.
"Masters, if I may be frank in asking … why is the Council so willing to
bend the rules in Anakin's case? Surely the Council realized it was against
our custom to release Anakin from my care to another Master so soon in
his apprenticeship – as well as sending him back to Tatooine to see his
mother?"
Obi-Wan swallowed hard, but continued,
"Admittedly, Anakin is not happy as my Padawan learner. He has accepted my authority during Qui-Gon's time of healing, but as Qui-Gon's health continues to improve he more and more pleads to be returned to Qui-Gon's care. I did not at the time, nor can I now, see what benefit there was in sending Anakin to Tatooine with Qui-Gon. Yet the Council overrode both my objection and position as the boy's Master to send him anyway. If I am to keep my word to Qui-Gon and train Anakin, I must not walk in fear of the Council superseding my authority in his training. I would like to know why the members of the Council are willing to make such exceptions for my Padawan," Obi-Wan finished. Well, he had expounded slightly further than he had intended. Quickly he glanced at the Council members for their reactions.
Mace stared at him. Master Yoda stared at him. Oh, Sith, Obi-Wan thought, and then rearranged the letters and swore again.
Mace Windu slowly breathed out. He'd known Obi-Wan longer than even Qui-Gon, had watched the boy grow from a small child to a gawky teenager to a determined young man. And despite Obi-Wan's controlled delivery, a bright streak of Qui-Gon's defiance blazed through his Force signature.
Yoda stared at the dark-skinned Jedi, clearly waiting for him to give Obi-Wan an answer. Trouble was, Mace wasn't exactly certain how to answer the young man.
"Obi-Wan," he said slowly. "Anakin's future is more clouded than any I or the Council have ever seen. What we are able to see disturbs us greatly. We felt that because of his age and lack of training … it would possibly benefit us more and go somewhat toward calming his fear and anger if he were to see his mother again. Qui-Gon nearly died on Naboo, Obi-Wan."
You don't have to tell me that, Obi-Wan thought bitterly. I was there. I held him as the life bled out of his body.
"Too much for young Skywalker, that would have been," Master Yoda interjected. "Dangerous to his training, as well. Time with Qui-Gon, he needs, and well it will do Qui-Gon to have the boy near."
Obi-Wan squelched the sudden bitter vise that tightened his heart. Yes, he supposed it would do Qui-Gon well to have Anakin nearby during his healing. Anakin seemed to evoke a happiness in his former Master that Obi-Wan had not seen in a long time.
Neither of the Council members had given him a straight answer to his question, but suddenly Obi-Wan didn't feel like talking any more. He rose from the table, tucking his suddenly trembling hands into his oversized tunic sleeves, and bowed to the seated men. "Then I will go. If you will excuse me, I have some preparations to make."
Mace watched the young Knight leave. He wondered briefly if Yoda had been just in striking the gaping, crackling wound in the young man's emotions, but he had always trusted Yoda's wisdom before – and he had no idea what to do about the Jinn/Kenobi/Skywalker problem that had arisen. He would trust Yoda's judgment in this matter, as always.
Mace sighed, watching the tense set of Obi-Wan's shoulders as he maneuvered around a group of celebrating, newly chosen Padawans. Even as Obi-Wan bent to offer his congratulations to the children, Mace could see the tight lines in his face that his smile didn't quite hide. Qui-Gon, old friend, you have no idea what you've done to that boy.
Yoda was first to speak, and his gravelly voice was heavy with regret.
"Save some discord by young Kenobi leaving, I hope it will."
Mace turned away from studying Obi-Wan and sighed. "So sure Qui-Gon will argue, are you?" It was almost a humorous thing to ask.
"Headstrong, he is. Meet, the Council must, concerning him and Padawan Skywalker. Argue for the boy, he will."
Mace nodded. His brows drew together in a tight frown. "Yoda, I do not think manipulating him was the way to accomplish his leaving. He is – "
"Hurt very much, young Obi-Wan does," Yoda agreed, lowering his small body from the chair. "But his Master as well. Trust my judgment, you will."
Mace inclined his head respectfully. "Yes, Master."
end chapter one :-)