Monster Patrol

After twenty-seven phone calls Kelly could take no more. He staggered out of his office and decided to patrol the halls for a little while to calm his nerves. The bell had rung and students were passing to their next class.

"Principal Kelly!" A few students ran up to him. "Is it true you're going to close the school down?"

"No, no Faith, Mindy. The school will not be closed down," Kelly sighed for the fortieth time that day.

"But what if those monsters come back?" Mindy's eyes grew wide.

"They're not going to come back," Kelly told her,

"How do you know?" Faith asked.

"Look we are going to take care of the problem," Kelly reassured them. "Don't worry."

"I hope when you say you're taking care of the problem you mean you are going to do more than send out those Brotherhood goons to patrol the halls," Mindy pouted.

"WHAT?" Kelly yelped. "They are doing what?"

"Look for yourself," Faith pointed. There was the Brotherhood in military fatigues directing traffic.

"Okay now move it along," Tabitha called out. "Let's go people! We don't have all day now!"

There was a group of students outside one classroom. Fred came out. "Okay people this classroom is secure! No monsters in here!"

"Okay now step lively!" Todd was directing traffic. "Move it! Move it! Move it! Ow! Okay who threw that? You're on report buddy!"

"Ladies here is your classroom," Pietro escorted three young beauties inside. They giggled and waved. "If you need any more help going to class just call me!"

"Okay people there's the bell!" Lance called out. "Come on, get to class! Move it! Move it! Move it! Hey You! Get going!"

"What are you doing?" Kelly moaned, feeling another major migraine coming on.

"We are patrolling the halls for monsters!" Todd saluted.

"Yeah somebody's gotta keep the halls safe for students around here," Lance told him. "You guys sure ain't doing nothing."

"Anything," Kelly corrected. "We aren't doing anything."

"I'll say you're not!" Fred snapped. "So we decided to do it ourselves!"

"Great just what I need around here, a vigilante force!" Kelly rolled his eyes. "Do your teachers know you're out here?"

"Are you kidding? They insisted we do this!" Pietro said. "They said they'd feel safer with us patrolling the halls outside of class."

"Oh lord," Kelly put his head in his hands.

"Come on we gotta patrol the bathrooms," Pietro said. "No telling when those furry blue monsters will strike next!"

"Nobody is going to do anything!" Kelly snapped.

"Well somebody has to do something!" Lance snapped. "Hey you're the one who's always telling us to get involved! Well this is our way of getting involved!"

"You wouldn't want us to shirk our civic duty now would you?" Todd asked.

"Listen this is not a job for students," Kelly told them.

"Oh and who is it a job for?" Lance asked. "Some fat rent-a-cop who's gonna spend all his time munching doughnuts and napping in the office supply room?"

"Hey why waste school money when I can do that for free?" Fred asked.

"Yeah you're the one who's always telling us to use our special talents," Tabitha said. "Ours just happen to be doing damage. We wanna put that to good use and do damage on the monsters! Hey what have you got to lose but your job?"

"Come on Kelly!" Pietro said. "We can do this! If we see a monster all we have to do is get Fred here to sit on one and bam! We got him!"

"I don't know what's more insane," Kelly groaned. "The fact that you delinquents want to help or the fact that I am seriously considering letting you do this!"

"Hold it!" Todd pointed out the window. "Is that a monster?"

"WHERE?" Kelly jumped.

"Outside!" Todd yelled. "Let's get him!"

"CHARGE!" Fred yelled as he and the others ran outside.

"Why me?" Kelly moaned as he ran after them. "Will you hang on a minute and…THAT'S NOT A MONSTER! PUT HIM DOWN!"

Fred held a man in a bright blue suit up high by the collar. "Well from a distance he looked like a blue monster," Todd said.

"KELLY!" The man screamed. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?"

"We're Bayville High's Monster Patrol!" Lance saluted. "Keeping the school safe from monsters! Who are you?"

"I am the Superintendent of the School District," The man snarled.

"Oh great!" Fred let him down. "Then you'll be happy to know that the monster problem is well in hand. In fact this patrol was Principal Kelly's idea!"

"No wait a minute!" Kelly gulped. "Superintendent I can explain…"
"Don't be so modest!" Tabitha elbowed Kelly. "Having students take personal responsibility instead of renting a cop to protect school grounds was a stroke of genius! Saves money on the school funds!"

"Kelly," The Superintendent glared at him. "I think we need to have a little talk in your office. NOW!"

Kelly groaned. He couldn't take any more. This simply was not his day. Then he looked at the front lawn of the school. Someone had put a sign up.

"WHO PUT THAT ON THE LAWN?" Kelly shouted.

The sign read: BEWARE OF MONSTERS. The school is not responsible if you get eaten!

Pietro looked at him. "What? You want to get sued or something?"