I don't own any Jimmy Buffet Songs as well as X-Men Evolution characters. I just had a very interesting idea….He, he…I'm so evil! I'll save this for later in the story. This picks up right after Joe and Bill fled for their lives.

Why Don't We Get Drunk?

Kelly and his secretary Dorothy were in his office. There are several bottles of beer and scotch all over the place. Both are slightly smashed. Kelly sighed. "Well we lost two more. We lost four today. One yesterday, one the day before and another one the day before so that makes…um…thirteen?"

Dorothy grumbled, "Who cares?"

Kelly snapped, "I do! My career is in the toilet. I'm gonna be fired, I know it. And I don't even know why this is happening to me. It's like someone out there really, really, really, really…really wants to see me suffer. I never did anything to anybody. Why me? Dorothy am I a bad guy?"

"No. No. In fact out of all the principals at Bayville…you are the nicest one I have ever worked under….for. Worked for."

"Really? How many principals have you worked with?"

"Counting you? Three. There's you, Ms. Darkholme. She had a lot of weird stuff happen to her too. And then there was Mr. Winkles. Everybody loved Mr. Winkles. He was the principal at Bayville for fifteen years. Right up until that mysterious accident."

"Accident?"

"Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. A train smashed his car while he was shaving in it while after it fell off a cliff. The very next day Ms. Darkholme came to the school and said she was the new principal, just like that. Darndest thing. You know what else is weird? Mr. Winkles had a long beard. What was he doing shaving?"

Kelly shrugged, "Maybe he wanted a new look?"

"He got it. You should have been at the funeral. He looked like a Frankenstein version of Raggedy Andy and Bozo the clown."

Kelly moaned, "Dorothy what am I gonna do?"

"Get drunk?"

Kelly downed another drink, "Good idea! It's not like I have a career to consider."

"Your career? I should have listened to my sister and become an exotic dancer. But noooooo! I had to be the respectable one! Well it's not like I had the legs for it anyway."

Kelly slurred, "Dorothy…you are a very attractive woman."

"Thank you. Nice to see I've still got it. Hey I just thought of something, are you married?"

Kelly frowned. "I …can't remember."

"Ah never mind, it's not that important anyway!"

Kelly began to sing, "Dorothy there's something I gotta tell you! I really do appreciate the fact that you're sitting here! I'm sure glad you haven't run away screaming in terror and fear!"

Dorothy began to sing back, "So Eddie pour me another bottle! Another round will do…"

Kelly sang, Hey why don't we get drunk and…

Let's do!

Both drank some more. A lot more and sang.

Why don't we get drunk? Let's do! There's crazy kids and wild demons that are furry and blue! We just can't take any more of this place sober, it's sad but true! So why don't we get drunk? Let's do!

Kelly slurred, "You wanna know a secret? Before I came to Bayville I never had a drink in my life!"

Dorothy agreed. "Just goes to show you what happens when you hang around teenagers too long! Alcohol doesn't kill brain cells. Teenagers do."

"I'll drink to that!"

(Both pretend that one bottle is a microphone and sing.)

Why don't we get drunk? Let's do! I just think there's better jobs in life for me and you! They think Bayville's cursed, and I'm starting to think that's true! So why don't we get drunk? Let's do! Why don't we get drunk? And…

Both gave each other a passionate kiss. They fall to the floor, hidden by the desk, oblivious of Todd videotaping them from the window.

Todd winced. "Aw yo man this is nasty! Somebody else come up here and tape this!"

Pietro popped up amused as he taped. "Well, well. Now here's something we can use for a special occasion!"

Oh I am going to have such fun with this later on! Don't know why no one else has thought of this yet! And yes I know in the comics that Kelly hates mutants because his wife was killed in a mutant attack. Well so what happens next? To be honest I have no clue…