*****************– WORDS*********************
Over the years I came to love Maria's voice.
Her songs, her endless babbles, everything.
The way her lips moved, the way her eyes seemed to speak along with her mouth.
Everything
But when I heard her that time, when I looked into her eyes and instead of the usual sparkles I saw darkness, I knew that I wouldn't like what she was going to talk to me about.
What I didn't know was that the talk we were going to have would be the worst one I had ever had.
The one that shattered my whole world into tiny little pieces
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- "We have to talk Michael" – she said
- "Sure"- I nodded and led her to the couch. – "What do you want to talk about?" – I asked desperately trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I knew something was seriously wrong but at that very moment there was nothing I wanted more than to believe that the only reason for her tears was the fight with Max
I watched her bury her face in her hands and for a minute or two she sat like that not talking, not looking at me, merely breathing.
Finally, she lifted her head and turned to face me. Maybe I was just imagining things but it seemed to me than during those few minutes she had aged ten years. It was almost as if someone came and took all the light away from her when she wasn't looking at me.
She took several deep breaths and started talking.
- Michael, do you remember the night I told you about our daughter? When we kissed… what did you feel?
- You. I felt you.
- No. You had flashes – what did you felt in them, what did you see?
- I didn't see anything – I replied truthfully – No pictures, only darkness…and screams – I added after a second.
She nodded as if it was and was not the answer she was expecting.
- Did you hear them too? – I asked when she remained silent.
She looked me straight in the eyes, searching them, trying to find out if I was ready for what she was going to tell me, I guess.
- Yes. I did…but there's more. *I* saw something. I saw our baby hurting. I saw her shrinking and withering
-Withering?
- Yes. She looked like a flower someone forgot to water. Dying.
- Why didn't you tell me? – I asked shocked.
- I thought you saw that too. You looked so scared when we
finished kissing. And I asked you to examine the baby, didn't I? – She wiped the tears that started rolling down her face again. I wanted to hug her but when I came closer she moved away
- Not yet, Michael. There's more. Today when Max was healing me – we both got flashes, you know. But they, they were different, not the usual stuff from the past….No…the future…I guess. I saw our baby growing inside of me, I saw the labor, and then I felt pain and saw blood. Max…he had similar flashes – he saw the baby and the labor but...he felt this…weird energy pushing him away from me. He said that then he saw the inside of me...and according to him it was empty, Michael. Empty.
I stared at her for several seconds trying to comprehend her words.
-Empty…- I repeated slowly and when I saw her nod weakly I understood why I couldn't feel the baby inside of Maria before – Our baby's dead?
- Not exactly. I thought it is too but when I talked to Max later, he said that the emptiness doesn't mean that the baby disappeared or died. He said that it was me that was empty – that there's no energy inside of me….
- But he healed you, right? – I interrupted
She shook her head
- Not really. It seems that this baby needs more energy than other babies and since it cannot produce it itself she takes it from the ones it's connected to. Remember when you fainted after connecting with our girl the first time? It was because she took some strength from you. Tonight during the dinner she took some from me too, more then ever, actually. I would have died if he wouldn't form the connection with her. This way she took the strength she needed from him. –She explained
- So our baby's killing you?
She wasn't responding so I repeated my question "Is she?" When there still was no answer from her the realization dawned on me.
– Oh my God Maria. She is, isn't she? She's killing you!
- Not for a while. Max gave her more energy than she needed, so there's a chance that everything will be fine.
- A chance, Maria?! A chance?! – I shouted, standing up from the couch and starting a furious pace
She stood up and put her arms around me, hugging me as hard as never before.
- It may be enough, Michael. She may not need more…she whispered against my chest
I wrapped my arms tightly around her returning the hug. I wasn't convinced but I knew that right now she needed me calm, needed me to believe.
- Yes, Maria she won't need more. Our love will be enough to feed her. She won't need more – I whispered into her hair feeling cold drops of water rolling down my eyes. – Our love will be enough….
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Over the years I came to love Maria's voice.
Her songs, her endless babbles, everything.
The way her lips moved, the way her eyes seemed to speak along with her mouth.
Everything
But when I heard her that time, when I looked into her eyes and instead of the usual sparkles I saw darkness, I knew that I wouldn't like what she was going to talk to me about.
What I didn't know was that the talk we were going to have would be the worst one I had ever had.
The one that shattered my whole world into tiny little pieces
*********************************************************
- "We have to talk Michael" – she said
- "Sure"- I nodded and led her to the couch. – "What do you want to talk about?" – I asked desperately trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I knew something was seriously wrong but at that very moment there was nothing I wanted more than to believe that the only reason for her tears was the fight with Max
I watched her bury her face in her hands and for a minute or two she sat like that not talking, not looking at me, merely breathing.
Finally, she lifted her head and turned to face me. Maybe I was just imagining things but it seemed to me than during those few minutes she had aged ten years. It was almost as if someone came and took all the light away from her when she wasn't looking at me.
She took several deep breaths and started talking.
- Michael, do you remember the night I told you about our daughter? When we kissed… what did you feel?
- You. I felt you.
- No. You had flashes – what did you felt in them, what did you see?
- I didn't see anything – I replied truthfully – No pictures, only darkness…and screams – I added after a second.
She nodded as if it was and was not the answer she was expecting.
- Did you hear them too? – I asked when she remained silent.
She looked me straight in the eyes, searching them, trying to find out if I was ready for what she was going to tell me, I guess.
- Yes. I did…but there's more. *I* saw something. I saw our baby hurting. I saw her shrinking and withering
-Withering?
- Yes. She looked like a flower someone forgot to water. Dying.
- Why didn't you tell me? – I asked shocked.
- I thought you saw that too. You looked so scared when we
finished kissing. And I asked you to examine the baby, didn't I? – She wiped the tears that started rolling down her face again. I wanted to hug her but when I came closer she moved away
- Not yet, Michael. There's more. Today when Max was healing me – we both got flashes, you know. But they, they were different, not the usual stuff from the past….No…the future…I guess. I saw our baby growing inside of me, I saw the labor, and then I felt pain and saw blood. Max…he had similar flashes – he saw the baby and the labor but...he felt this…weird energy pushing him away from me. He said that then he saw the inside of me...and according to him it was empty, Michael. Empty.
I stared at her for several seconds trying to comprehend her words.
-Empty…- I repeated slowly and when I saw her nod weakly I understood why I couldn't feel the baby inside of Maria before – Our baby's dead?
- Not exactly. I thought it is too but when I talked to Max later, he said that the emptiness doesn't mean that the baby disappeared or died. He said that it was me that was empty – that there's no energy inside of me….
- But he healed you, right? – I interrupted
She shook her head
- Not really. It seems that this baby needs more energy than other babies and since it cannot produce it itself she takes it from the ones it's connected to. Remember when you fainted after connecting with our girl the first time? It was because she took some strength from you. Tonight during the dinner she took some from me too, more then ever, actually. I would have died if he wouldn't form the connection with her. This way she took the strength she needed from him. –She explained
- So our baby's killing you?
She wasn't responding so I repeated my question "Is she?" When there still was no answer from her the realization dawned on me.
– Oh my God Maria. She is, isn't she? She's killing you!
- Not for a while. Max gave her more energy than she needed, so there's a chance that everything will be fine.
- A chance, Maria?! A chance?! – I shouted, standing up from the couch and starting a furious pace
She stood up and put her arms around me, hugging me as hard as never before.
- It may be enough, Michael. She may not need more…she whispered against my chest
I wrapped my arms tightly around her returning the hug. I wasn't convinced but I knew that right now she needed me calm, needed me to believe.
- Yes, Maria she won't need more. Our love will be enough to feed her. She won't need more – I whispered into her hair feeling cold drops of water rolling down my eyes. – Our love will be enough….
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