*********************MORNINGS**********************
Mornings
People say there's something special about them – something magic.
They say that each morning holds a promise, gives a chance.
They say that the sun rising on the horizon brings hope that the darkness of this world can
indeed be defeated.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe there is a bit of magic in them.
Maybe the sun that rises so stubbornly day after day despite everything is indeed a bringer of hope.
But for me mornings will always mean the same.
They'll mean sorrow
They'll mean fear
They'll mean goodbye.
**************************************************
I remember waking up early on that day.
I'm not much of a morning person but that Sunday something inside of me made me open my eyes sooner than ever. I'm not sure what it was – maybe my intuition, maybe the Sun that decided to rise so early and shine extra bright, maybe my heart that suddenly started to ache like it was dying? Or maybe it was God finally taking pity on the Guerins and giving us a last chance to say goodbye?
I don't know and I honestly don't care.
All I know is that when I woke up that day my wife was cold.
And pale.
And barely breathing
Needless to say I panicked. I shook her hard trying to wake her up, to shake some life into her. It was useless. Everything about me was useless at that moment.
I grabbed the phone from the bedside table and frantically started dialing the number of the one person that had the power to help my wife. My fingers shook so bad that it took me almost a minute to get the number right.
-Yes? - the voice of the person on the other end of the line was muffled with sleep but I felt no remorse for waking him up.
-I need your help, Max – I managed to say. The panic in my voce must have made Max realize the nature of the problem because when I heard him a second later he sounded complete awake.
- I'll be at your place in 5 minutes – I heard him say. Then the line went quiet.
I put the phone back on the table and turned to look at Maria. She was even paler than before, her chest was barely rising and I realized that 5 minutes might be too late.
Maria was dying.
I couldn't just sit there and watch her leave. I bent over her still form and placed my trembling hand on her abdomen, trying to concentrate and form the connection essential to the process of healing. It was no use. Something was blocking me, as if it thought that what I had to offer wasn't worth a thing. Desperate I bent down and kissed her lips thinking that it's really our last goodbye. Turned out I was wrong. As soon as my lips made contact with hers something clicked and I could feel the energy passing from my body to hers. There were no visions – only blinding brightness that stopped as quickly as it started. I felt the exhaustion taking over me and I pulled back knowing that there's nothing left inside of me to give Maria.
I looked at her then and saw some color coming back to her cheeks. I let out a sigh of relief – I helped her. But then again I didn't.
I noticed that her breathes were still shallow, she didn't seem to be coming back to the consciousness and I realized that what I had done didn't heal her but only bought her some more time.
I had lain back on the bed and wrapped my arms around her small body pulling her as close to me as possible. I wanted us to be close I wanted her to be able to take whatever she needed from me when she felt like slipping away again.
That's how Max found us 3 minutes later.
***********************************
Mornings
People say there's something special about them – something magic.
They say that each morning holds a promise, gives a chance.
They say that the sun rising on the horizon brings hope that the darkness of this world can
indeed be defeated.
Maybe they're right.
Maybe there is a bit of magic in them.
Maybe the sun that rises so stubbornly day after day despite everything is indeed a bringer of hope.
But for me mornings will always mean the same.
They'll mean sorrow
They'll mean fear
They'll mean goodbye.
**************************************************
I remember waking up early on that day.
I'm not much of a morning person but that Sunday something inside of me made me open my eyes sooner than ever. I'm not sure what it was – maybe my intuition, maybe the Sun that decided to rise so early and shine extra bright, maybe my heart that suddenly started to ache like it was dying? Or maybe it was God finally taking pity on the Guerins and giving us a last chance to say goodbye?
I don't know and I honestly don't care.
All I know is that when I woke up that day my wife was cold.
And pale.
And barely breathing
Needless to say I panicked. I shook her hard trying to wake her up, to shake some life into her. It was useless. Everything about me was useless at that moment.
I grabbed the phone from the bedside table and frantically started dialing the number of the one person that had the power to help my wife. My fingers shook so bad that it took me almost a minute to get the number right.
-Yes? - the voice of the person on the other end of the line was muffled with sleep but I felt no remorse for waking him up.
-I need your help, Max – I managed to say. The panic in my voce must have made Max realize the nature of the problem because when I heard him a second later he sounded complete awake.
- I'll be at your place in 5 minutes – I heard him say. Then the line went quiet.
I put the phone back on the table and turned to look at Maria. She was even paler than before, her chest was barely rising and I realized that 5 minutes might be too late.
Maria was dying.
I couldn't just sit there and watch her leave. I bent over her still form and placed my trembling hand on her abdomen, trying to concentrate and form the connection essential to the process of healing. It was no use. Something was blocking me, as if it thought that what I had to offer wasn't worth a thing. Desperate I bent down and kissed her lips thinking that it's really our last goodbye. Turned out I was wrong. As soon as my lips made contact with hers something clicked and I could feel the energy passing from my body to hers. There were no visions – only blinding brightness that stopped as quickly as it started. I felt the exhaustion taking over me and I pulled back knowing that there's nothing left inside of me to give Maria.
I looked at her then and saw some color coming back to her cheeks. I let out a sigh of relief – I helped her. But then again I didn't.
I noticed that her breathes were still shallow, she didn't seem to be coming back to the consciousness and I realized that what I had done didn't heal her but only bought her some more time.
I had lain back on the bed and wrapped my arms around her small body pulling her as close to me as possible. I wanted us to be close I wanted her to be able to take whatever she needed from me when she felt like slipping away again.
That's how Max found us 3 minutes later.
***********************************