********** FAREWELL****************
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
That's what he said.
That's what he never should have said.
What I never should have heard.
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
Should I?
*Could* I?
Was I strong enough to do it?
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
No, I couldn't do that.
I knew that if I would, it would mean that Maria and I had finally been defeated.
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael... – Max repeated and I realized that he was right.
I *had to* say goodbye.
I owed it to Maria – she didn't deserve to die without one last farewell kiss.
************************************
I sent Max one last glance and he nodded slightly before opening the door and leaving Maria and me alone.
He knew that I wanted to keep those last few moments with my wife for myself – that I didn't need any witnesses
He understood.
He always did.
I turned my attention back to Maria then. I walked up to the bed and slowly, reluctantly laid myself down beside her. I really didn't want to do this – it was so….final…but then again so was this whole situation. I searched for her hand and, after finding it, I enclosed it in my own, much bigger one.
The last thing I noticed before drifting off to sleep was the lone tear that escaped from behind my lids and splashed on the sheets of the bed I shared with my wife for so long.
************************************
When I opened my eyes several seconds later I saw the reds and yellows of the desert surrounding me. The sun was slowly setting and the sky, while still purply blue, was already letting the stars show themselves to everyone on the planet. I looked around and noticed a lone figure sitting on a rock nearby. I walked closer and saw a cascade of golden hair falling down on the person's back. I heard the sweet, slow song coming from that direction and I could swear that it was the real angel singing it. As I approached this figure I realized it wasn't far away from the truth. It was *my* own, private angel.
-Maria- at the sound of her name she turned around flashing a bright sunny smile at me.
God, how I loved seeing her smile.
-Shhh…you'll wake her up – she whispered pointing at the small bundle in her arms. I looked down and noticed that it was a baby that she was singing to few seconds before.
Our baby.
I knelt beside her to get a better look at the baby and was immediately taken aback by its beauty. I swear I had never seen something as goddess- like as this little girl. Yeah she definitely took after her mother. I touched her tiny face with my fingers and lazily she opened her eyes. The happy light inside them almost blinded me. They were the color of hazel nut with several diamond-like bright green spots. So beautiful, so very beautiful…
How could someone so beautiful could be so evil, how could she cause so much badness in our life?
- It's not true, Michael and you know it – I heard Maria say. She stood up and after placing our daughter in a small wooden cradle, she turned back to face me.
- It's not true, Spaceboy, it's not- she repeated slowly. She reached for my hand and took it in her much smaller one caressing it with her tiny finger.
- It is, Maria. How can you say it's not? She took you away from me. She *killed* you…
-God, no, Michael! She didn't. That evening, when I fainted she was dying, and I collapsed because I couldn't bear the pain of losing her. I *willed* myself to revive it but she wouldn't let me feed her with the energy I got. She wanted to *protect* me, Michael. And *it* was killing me. The thought that I'd have to watch helplessly as the life I created with you fades away. Then came Max and he was so strong...with him I could do that – I could help our daughter survive. I could create the unbreakable connection. Max sensed what I was doing and he wanted to break away but I wouldn't let him. I*couldn't* let him, Michael…He was so mad, so very mad at me later that I thought he'll never speak to me again, he wanted me to live so he tried to persuade into letting him "heal" me – by removing our daughter. But I didn't want her to die. I needed you to have her, I needed to have her myself…- she trailed off.
I followed her glance and saw our baby sleeping peacefully in the cradle. In that moment I realized that I couldn't hate her. I loved her already…
-But how can I live without you Maria? I'll die…
-No. I'm not leaving Michael; not really, I'll always be around
-How, Maria? How?
Smiling softly she pointed upwards and I saw the V-shaped constellation shining down on the two of us
-that's where I'll be Michael, that's where you'll always find me…Above with the stars and below right there in your heart –she whispered and after placing the sweetest of kisses on the center of my chest she disappeared.
And with her, the baby, the desert and everything around.
The dream ended.
*****************************************
I opened my eyes and saw Max sitting on the edge of Maria's half of the bed. I briefly wondered how did he know that we finished with our goodbyes…. I guess he simply knew. It was Max after all….
He nodded at me and I nodded back.
I saw Max placing his hand on Maria's belly and I closed my eyes praying silently for the miracle to happen.
Guess, no one was listening this time because when I opened my eyes again I saw Max sweating, panting
And desperate…
- It's not enough Michael, it's not…- he whispered and I could see the tears coming out from his eyes and mixing with the drops of sweat on his cheeks.
I shook my head sadly and then covered his hand, that was still on Maria's abdomen, with my own palm.
The light that was created filled the whole room for several seconds and then without any warning stopped.
30 seconds later Maria was dead.
******************************
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
That's what he said.
That's what he never should have said.
What I never should have heard.
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
Should I?
*Could* I?
Was I strong enough to do it?
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael...
No, I couldn't do that.
I knew that if I would, it would mean that Maria and I had finally been defeated.
-I think you should say goodbye now, Michael... – Max repeated and I realized that he was right.
I *had to* say goodbye.
I owed it to Maria – she didn't deserve to die without one last farewell kiss.
************************************
I sent Max one last glance and he nodded slightly before opening the door and leaving Maria and me alone.
He knew that I wanted to keep those last few moments with my wife for myself – that I didn't need any witnesses
He understood.
He always did.
I turned my attention back to Maria then. I walked up to the bed and slowly, reluctantly laid myself down beside her. I really didn't want to do this – it was so….final…but then again so was this whole situation. I searched for her hand and, after finding it, I enclosed it in my own, much bigger one.
The last thing I noticed before drifting off to sleep was the lone tear that escaped from behind my lids and splashed on the sheets of the bed I shared with my wife for so long.
************************************
When I opened my eyes several seconds later I saw the reds and yellows of the desert surrounding me. The sun was slowly setting and the sky, while still purply blue, was already letting the stars show themselves to everyone on the planet. I looked around and noticed a lone figure sitting on a rock nearby. I walked closer and saw a cascade of golden hair falling down on the person's back. I heard the sweet, slow song coming from that direction and I could swear that it was the real angel singing it. As I approached this figure I realized it wasn't far away from the truth. It was *my* own, private angel.
-Maria- at the sound of her name she turned around flashing a bright sunny smile at me.
God, how I loved seeing her smile.
-Shhh…you'll wake her up – she whispered pointing at the small bundle in her arms. I looked down and noticed that it was a baby that she was singing to few seconds before.
Our baby.
I knelt beside her to get a better look at the baby and was immediately taken aback by its beauty. I swear I had never seen something as goddess- like as this little girl. Yeah she definitely took after her mother. I touched her tiny face with my fingers and lazily she opened her eyes. The happy light inside them almost blinded me. They were the color of hazel nut with several diamond-like bright green spots. So beautiful, so very beautiful…
How could someone so beautiful could be so evil, how could she cause so much badness in our life?
- It's not true, Michael and you know it – I heard Maria say. She stood up and after placing our daughter in a small wooden cradle, she turned back to face me.
- It's not true, Spaceboy, it's not- she repeated slowly. She reached for my hand and took it in her much smaller one caressing it with her tiny finger.
- It is, Maria. How can you say it's not? She took you away from me. She *killed* you…
-God, no, Michael! She didn't. That evening, when I fainted she was dying, and I collapsed because I couldn't bear the pain of losing her. I *willed* myself to revive it but she wouldn't let me feed her with the energy I got. She wanted to *protect* me, Michael. And *it* was killing me. The thought that I'd have to watch helplessly as the life I created with you fades away. Then came Max and he was so strong...with him I could do that – I could help our daughter survive. I could create the unbreakable connection. Max sensed what I was doing and he wanted to break away but I wouldn't let him. I*couldn't* let him, Michael…He was so mad, so very mad at me later that I thought he'll never speak to me again, he wanted me to live so he tried to persuade into letting him "heal" me – by removing our daughter. But I didn't want her to die. I needed you to have her, I needed to have her myself…- she trailed off.
I followed her glance and saw our baby sleeping peacefully in the cradle. In that moment I realized that I couldn't hate her. I loved her already…
-But how can I live without you Maria? I'll die…
-No. I'm not leaving Michael; not really, I'll always be around
-How, Maria? How?
Smiling softly she pointed upwards and I saw the V-shaped constellation shining down on the two of us
-that's where I'll be Michael, that's where you'll always find me…Above with the stars and below right there in your heart –she whispered and after placing the sweetest of kisses on the center of my chest she disappeared.
And with her, the baby, the desert and everything around.
The dream ended.
*****************************************
I opened my eyes and saw Max sitting on the edge of Maria's half of the bed. I briefly wondered how did he know that we finished with our goodbyes…. I guess he simply knew. It was Max after all….
He nodded at me and I nodded back.
I saw Max placing his hand on Maria's belly and I closed my eyes praying silently for the miracle to happen.
Guess, no one was listening this time because when I opened my eyes again I saw Max sweating, panting
And desperate…
- It's not enough Michael, it's not…- he whispered and I could see the tears coming out from his eyes and mixing with the drops of sweat on his cheeks.
I shook my head sadly and then covered his hand, that was still on Maria's abdomen, with my own palm.
The light that was created filled the whole room for several seconds and then without any warning stopped.
30 seconds later Maria was dead.
******************************