"Missus, you want for me to open the curtains, missus Mappe?"
The thin woman sat in front of the fire in the old, musty library, completely silent.
Trissy squeaked in fear, knowing that distant look in her mistress' eyes. Long, lank hair flopped over large eyes and hands gripped the sides of the patched armchair tightly, almost painfully.
"M-m-missus Mappe?" Mappe was biting her bottom lip so hard that blood could be seen in small droplets around those grotesque teeth.
The room she was in smelled of mildew, as it hadn't been properly cleaned since the death of the witch's parents. Trissy, her family's faithful house elf had the rest of the old-fashioned house cleaned from top to bottom but Mappe had stubbornly not allowed her to enter this room to do anything except fetch her missus.
Trissy, terrified of Mappe for as long as the witch could remember, did exactly as she was told. Mappe wasn't concerned. Nearly everyone had been afraid, or wary, of her, even before...._it_ had happened.
She giggled, her eyes widening. Sighing and pushing her hair out of her face, she turned a blank face to the house elf.
"Get out you disgusting thing. When I want you to do something, I'll call you."
Trissy lowered her head shamefully, much to Mappe's delight. "Out!!" Mappe shrieked, letting her voice echo in the dark room.
Trissy, with a dry sob, ran out of the room quickly, her bat-like ears flopping around her head.
Mappe continued looking at the fire.
*I can feel it. He has returned.* She made a fist with one hand. *Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, he won't let you join. They all hate you, all of them.*
Mappe didn't mind. She enjoyed their fear, their reservations. It gave her a sense of power, even in school she had loved it when her fellow students had turned tail when they saw her coming. It had only gotten worse, more isolating.....more fun, after _it_ had happened.
The only ones that hadn't treated her like a freak were her parents. Parents....the word sounded in Mappe's head again and again. She shook her head, hands over ears, angrily. *No! They're dead...dead, dead, dead...gone and I can be left in peace.*
Any fleeting thoughts of her parents, her annoying servant or her inheritance which was in serious need of some upkeep were gone as she returned her gaze to the fire.
*Show me.....* The flames danced seductively in front of her eyes. Her eyes....anything that fell under the power of her gaze, even the fire.... Mappe didn't finish the thought, she rarely did finish one.
They were like leaves swirling in a cold, winter wind, impossible to grasp. Mappe could feel something though. The presence was growing stronger, feeding off of fear, the same uncertainty which had become prevalent as she was growing up and leaving school.
Leaving school to come _here_. For the rest of her life, living in isolation. That was because _it_ had happened, but it didn't matter.
*He's come back. I wonder....if they know, remember me.* Mappe's thin lips turned upward into a cruel smile. The odd sense of power returned, flowing through her. Her old schoolmates' fear, how she used to thrive on it! Even the powerful one, he was afraid, pushing her away when she had wanted to embrace the darkness.
When the evil one had pushed her away, Mappe had felt, for the second time in her life, the pain and sting of rejection so strong that her comforting loneliness was shattered in a shriek of pain and agony.
He did not want her, even with her power. She could join them and become stronger, feeding off of fellow wizards' fear and misunderstanding of her. She could feed off Muggles, with all of their petty problems and superstitions. After all, her family had done it for generations, their surname practically a by-word for old medieval prejudices against magic.
But they did not want her. Just like _he_ hadn't wanted her from the first. _Him_
A low hiss, filled with hate, sounded from Mappe. Alone with her thoughts, day after day. Still, she hated him.
Once again, she remembered her parents. They were the only ones who had loved her unconditionally. Then again, they had both been weak fools who had done Helga Hufflepuff's house proud.
Then she came along, continuing the Slytherin tradition which had been broken for a few generations. She had been so proud of it, proud to get away from the shamefulness of being the offspring of two Hufflepuffs. She cared nothing for intellect and studies, so Ravenclaw did not even register in her mind.
As for the Gryffindors. Mappe bared her teeth snarling. Damned Gryffindors. Thinking they were better than her because of their house, never showing their fear of her though she knew they could feel it.....she fed off it.
Trissy, quaking with fear, had returned to her mistress' room, holding a tray of food. She had done it every year since Mappe had returned home to stay.....and torment the life out of the house elf.
Trissy sniffed, her large, bulbous eyes filled with unshed tears as she remembered her kind mistress, Mappe's mother, from before. She had been a fine lady, as different from her daughter as one could be, and Trissy could never go against one of her orders, even though the lady was long since gone.
So she crept in with food she knew would probably be left untouched, wondering at the state of Mappe's mind, and wondering, even though she was only a humble house elf, if Mappe's mother's request to keep her daughter out of St. Mungo's had been wise after all.
Mappe had never really been what you'd call normal, even by wizarding standards, but after the incident, never called by name in the Maleficent house, the girl's shattered mind had wreaked havoc on family life here.
She had almost been through with Hogwarts when it had happened, right after the NEWT's, which Mappe hadn't done too well in. But then _it_ had happened and Mappe's parents, in a numbed state of shock, had taken their daughter home to live in solitude for the rest of her life.
Trissy, however, had never trusted the girl. Her deceased mistress had tried to convince her that Mappe was simply a lonely little girl who had had a terrible accident but Trissy could feel darkness radiating off of the witch which had not come from her parents or anyone else.
With some potent house elf magic, Trissy could sense the deeper changes in Mappe, who became more unstable with each passing year, sometimes erupting into hateful tirades, but most of the time living in a place deep within her own mind.
Trissy couldn't help but dread the time when Mappe came out of her own subconscious, sickened at the memory of what had happened before. At Hogwarts. It was more than school-house rivalry and luckily the student that Mappe had fixated on had parents who also wanted to hush up the situation.
Trissy knew why but that had been the boy's business. Mappe's parents, in despair, had decided that she would never be able to live a productive life, yet refused to give her up to St. Mungo's, being kind-hearted and loyal. Typical Hufflepuffs.
Trissy gulped as she set the tray down but luckily Mappe was having a quieter day despite the earlier outburst. She often did when she went to the city near their home, which is why Trissy allowed her to leave, regardless of the consequences.
"Missus Mappe? Is you wanting to read some paper, missus?" Gingerly, the house elf placed a copy of the Daily Prophet on Mappe's lap, knowing the witch would probably toss it into the fire without a second glance.
Mappe however, turned her luminous eyes onto the house elf. Trissy squeaked with real terror and folded her large ears over her own eyes, quaking.
"Trissy, who is that boy?"
"B-boy...boy, Missus Mappe?!" Trissy squeaked painfully.
"Yes you idiot creature. The boy, _here_. I've seen him before, his name. Is he famous, Trissy?"
Trissy gulped audibly when she saw who Mappe was pointing at. "Oh...oh yes, missus. He is winning the contest. That's all, winning the contest." Trissy pulled her own ear at this in punishment and Mappe glared in suspicion.
"What contest? And you're lying....I've seen it before, I remember....." Mappe trailed off, her hands folding the paper absently. Trissy sighed with relief as her mistress' attention seemed elsewhere.
She looked down at the caption. Triwizard Champion wins under Mysterious Circumstances. Old News and No News still Good News?
The bespectacled boy who was on the page smiled and waved up at the house elf and Trissy found herself grinning broadly back. Her kind and many other creatures as well, loved the skinny lad with jet-black hair who had done a great deal for them, albeit unknowingly.
Mappe was looking at the house elf with deeper suspicion than before. A light glinted in her strange eyes, returning her mind back to a whole state, just for a moment.
Times like these were rare but they did occur. *Boy Who Lived. He's the one..._Him_!! He looks like...no, not the same, but still! He caused the dark one's downfall. Everything gone, empty. He did it, the emptiness.*
Mappe's fists tightened at the recollection. One minute the world had seemed so dark and delicious, right for the feeding, and then, nothing.
Mappe had stayed in this room for nearly a year afterwards, coming out only when forced and even then shrieking and protesting, in real pain. The world was just too empty, too clean. She needed the emotion, the fear.
Like a Dementor feeding off of it, she got a rush from the panic and the evil power that flowed through the magical community. Then it was gone....all gone. Until now. It was coming back. Yes, coming back. To stay.
Her eyes rested on the page, on the boy. *I'll make sure it stays this time. I'll belong, thanks to you Harry Potter.*
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My, my, what would Hermione do? S.P.E.W. to the rescue! Er, or something like that. Ok, not yet. But soon, my pretties, soon. Too much Dt. Pepsi and three hours of sleep isn't good for the author. Onward.
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1974- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Hey, James, whose bright idea was it to fit all of us under this thing?"
"I believe it was _yours_ Padfoot."
"I have to agree, do you really think Honeydukes is worth this?"
"Never thought I'd hear _you_ say that Peter, of all people. Come on, Marauders never say die and all of that."
Three grumbles met Sirius Black's chipper statement.
Three _invisible_ grumbles met his statement, from his disembodied voice. Suddenly, a taller boy appeared, gasping and smoothing his thick brown hair with one hand.
"Jeez Prongs, I can't _breathe_ under that thing!" Remus Lupin's thin, pale face was now flushed from lack of air and being cramped under James Potter's invisibility cloak.
Another boy appeared, slightly shorter than the first, with dark hair that came past his ears and a handsome, tanned face which was now lit up with a wide grin.
"Come on, Moony. Picture it." Sirius threw an arm around Remus shoulders, who looked at him tentatively, an eyebrow raised. "Sugar quills, Fudge varieties of every kind, Bertie Bott's, Chocolate Frogs...I'm just going over the basics. Let's not forget, scrumptious Cockroach Clusters."
Remus grimaced and Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at his friend. Finally the other boy burst out laughing, as he always did when around Sirius. One couldn't help it.
Peter Pettigrew and James Potter had also thrown off the invisibility cloak in the darkened, deserted Hogwarts' hallway.
Peter, a small, chubby boy with thin blonde hair keep casting his eyes furtively around, in terror of being caught. With his grades he really couldn't afford to be caught bending the rules, though he followed his three friends loyally. Easy for them, they could charm their way out of trouble in a second.....unlike him.
James, another wizard about Sirius' height was watching his two friends with a bemused expression on his face, eyes slightly hidden behind his glasses. The boy's wild dark hair could barely be seen in the dark.
"Maybe we should go back, y'know...." James motioned towards Peter. The other two took the hint, though it was no surprise that James was the one to think of it. He always looked out for Peter, no matter what.
Sirius made a dog-like growl and threw his arms up. "You guys are hopeless! What's going to happen to my _reputation_? I mean, if I can't even make a simply Honeydukes' raid, what's going to happen in years to come? Oh yes, the tragedy, the humanity.....Sirius Black simply becoming another nameless face in the crowd."
"Are you done Padfoot?"
"Why no, Prongs, I've only just begun."
"Seriously, _Sirius_, cut it out."
Both Remus and Peter guffawed at that. Sirius scowled for a nanosecond before grinning as well. He couldn't help it if his name was probably one of the worst for drawing bad puns to. It came with the territory of being a Black, and he was darn proud of it.
Remus suddenly held up a hand and the other three froze, trusting his ears instinctively. Remus had had excellent hearing for most of his life for a very significant reason, though had he a choice, he would have given up the curse and gone back to hearing just like everybody else.
No matter. Remus focused his eyes on a corner far down the corridor.
"Is it Snape?" Sirius asked, his voice low and dangerous, eyes glittering in excitement at catching that git without his slimy Slytherin friends surrounding him for protection.
Remus shook his head and began walking over cautiously. "Careful Moony" James whispered from right behind him.
The werewolf nodded and continued though when he reached the corner that led into an even darker passageway, all he saw was a mop of dark hair and a small form that made no noise as it pattered back down to where it had come from.
Remus sighed, his eyes focusing in the dark.
"Was it your shadow, again?"
Remus jumped out of his skin. "Bloody!! Sirius.....! If you're going to sneak up on someone, don't do it to _me_."
Sirius grinned guiltily. "Mappe Maleficent" He spoke the name aloud for James' and Peter's benefit. The other two boys grimaced and nodded in understanding.
"Dragon's teeth, that girl is worse than Every-stay glue! And she's _creepy_, even for a Slytherin."
James nodded in agreement. "How did she find us, anyway?"
Remus spoke quietly. "Don't know. She's unsettling that one. I wonder what's wrong with her."
"Something, that's for sure, if she's got a thing for you, Moony." Remus pushed Sirius away playfully for his remark and continued looking down the dark passage, knowing Mappe was still there. And knowing she knew he was looking.
He shivered, his gray eyes focusing on hers as she reappeared for a moment. The color was nearly the same but while Remus' eyes were full of intelligence and kindness, Mappe's held a malicious sparkle, as well as an unnatural light most of the time.
Something about her...something. The wolf that resided deep within him howled, long and low. It stirred, though he was nowhere near the full moon.
"Moony! Moony!! Bloody hell....Remus!!"
"Huh?" Remus focused on his friends, all looking at him in fear. James' hands were on his shoulders. Sirius pushed his hair back in relief.
"Uh, where did you go there, Moony?" James was staring down the same passage Remus had been, his usually warm brown eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Is she still there?" An eerie quiet descended on the four. Remus shook his head.
"I _really_ don't like that girl." Sirius said, rubbing his arms and clapping Remus on the back. Peter was quaking with fear, already on his way back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
It was no secret how _he_ felt about any and all Slytherins, but Mappe in particular could unsettle anyone.
Still.....Remus stared down the passage, though he knew Mappe was gone, for a moment longer before following his friends.
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Stretching two thin arms, one still with a bandage around an elbow, a boy, fifteen years old with startling green eyes, thick glasses and a wild mop of dark hair had a jaw-popping yawn and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly.
The boy sprawled on his bed, exhausted from doing his "History of Magic" essay, which, if it was actually possible, was even more boring than the actual class.....and tired out for another, more significant reason.
One hand moved from his glasses to go higher up, rubbing a unique looking scar that crossed his forehead. It hadn't seriously hurt for awhile, though the occasional twinge always put him on edge.
Especially after the events less than a month ago. Harry Potter, known to many as the Boy Who Lived shut his schoolbooks and rubbed his temples, trying to ward off his growing headache.
Being a wizard would usually be an asset to any growing boy. Except Harry lived with his magic hating Muggle family, the Dastardly Dursleys. And ever since he'd been home, he'd been forced to clean the house and trim the garden around Number 4, Privet Drive all day, before working on his homework until late in the evening.
The good news to all of this was that Harry was then too exhausted to dream the horrific nightmares that had grown steadily worse since he was eleven years old. The bad news is that he felt stretched to the limit....and wished for a little bit of fun, especially after the year he had had, preparing for the Tournament and now preparing for his dreaded OWLs.
Harry missed his friends, Hermione and Ron, terribly. Although they might not have realized it, they were his rock in the very turbulent sea called his life. Losing either one of them was something that even his worst nightmares couldn't register.
He also missed his godfather, ex-convict, (to those that mattered, anyway) Sirius Black. He had received many letters from Remus Lupin, his ex- professor and another good friend, but fewer from Sirius.
Harry tried to be understanding about it but it hurt his feelings slightly. He knew Sirius cared about him, but Harry knew he had his own life to worry about, and things to prepare for, now that Voldemort was on the rise again.
Harry swallowed against the painful lump in his throat. He couldn't be bothered with his old best friend's son whom he hadn't even seen for over twelve years. And Harry didn't mind.....really.
As though reading his thoughts, Hedwig, Harry's beautiful snow-white owl came soaring in through his window, dropping two dead mice on the windowsill and alighting on Harry's bed. She then looked at her boy fondly with two huge, amber eyes.
Harry smiled in spite of himself. A soft feeling of tenderness curled up in his battered heart and he stroked Hedwig's feathers gently.
She hooted and nipped him on the finger, her way of showing affection he had deciphered.
Harry, shaking his head forcibly, tried to climb out of his growing depression as best he could by sorting through his friends' and acquaintances' letters and packages. Though his birthday wasn't for another few weeks, Harry had been receiving various things that those who cared about him thought would cheer him up.
There had been the plant that could pop in and out of its planting soil, depending on the mood of the one who owned it, from Neville. Harry smiled when he remembered how kind that had been of his fellow Gryffindor. Neville loved plants and herbology, and Harry was happy that he had found an outlet in something.
There was also the Chudley Cannons poster from Ron, (Harry rolled his eyes, Ron was nothing if not loyal) and a tank of frog spawn from Ginny. Hedwig had been less than enthusiastic about that last package, investigating the small tank suspiciously when it had first arrived.
There were more Quidditch books from Hermione. And even more books from Remus, which had surprised Harry, even making him feel a little guilty.
Though he never wanted to say, Remus had looked as though extra pocket money didn't exactly come easily to him. Harry pulled out the books Lupin had sent him, laughing again at the titles.
"Look Hedwig, here's two for the both of us." Hedwig landed softly on Harry's shoulder, as though to read the titles from over it. Harry giggled as she hooted, a prompting for him to continue.
Magical Dependency on Owls; Obsession?! Occult?!! or Over-reaction? by J. Pentuc Onclusion. There was also Frenzied and Fumbling Flyers; Why Owls by Allison Audubon.
Harry flipped through both for a bit before watching Hedwig settle down in her cage, giving his tank of frog spawn one more scathing look before she closed her large eyes.
Harry himself yawned, his eyes feeling heavy, though he wasn't looking forward to sleep. He wanted to write to Sirius, his worry for his godfather not letting up since the end of last school year. But he didn't want to bother Sirius when he was obviously busy. He had appeared rather stressed when he'd left Harry in the infirmary only a few weeks earlier.
He had already written several notes to Remus, thanking him and asking about news. Even Dumbledore had kept him better informed than ever before, as his safety seemed to be a larger concern.
Harry hoped fervently that he would still be able to go to the Weasleys. A full summer with his aunt and uncle, not to mention piggy cousin was a bit more than he could take right now.
Still, his eyes closed of their own will, leaving a very tired boy sprawled out asleep on his bedspread.
~Someone was looking for him. Strange eyes, in a fire, the whole world was on fire. And those eyes, they were all he could see, he was drowning in them.
"Harry...."
Mmm, he hadn't felt this light in a long time. Some small part of his brain screamed a warning but Harry didn't listen. This wasn't the Imperius Curse. This was nice....different. He was forgetting....he wanted to forget.
"Forget Harry"
Yes, yes.
"I'm coming Harry. Then you can forget, we'll both get what we want. I'm coming...."
Those eyes, what color were they? Who did they belong to? Didn't matter, nothing mattered. Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, all were left behind, shadows in a dark world that Harry had felt alone and sad in.
The eyes were all that mattered, calling to him.
"Forget...."
Yes.....~
When sunlight drifted in on Harry Potter, he didn't awaken, even after Hedwig had nipped him rather hard on the ear in concern.
When Aunt Petunia forcefully tossed him out of bed in the late afternoon, Harry felt as though he'd been drugged.
His mind felt fuzzy and far away, and he didn't care. Didn't matter.
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1978
"Brr, could it be any colder down here?" Lily Evans tossed her luminous red hair over a shoulder and thumped her bag down on a bench.
James grinned at her. "I'll keep you warm." Lily laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.
"Hands off Potter!" Then, under her breath she muttered, "Not in front of the Slytherins, you may frighten them." Her green eyes sparkled mischievously as James sputtered with laughter.
Sirius, Remus and Peter all rolled their eyes at the same time. Remus couldn't help but grin though.
The three of them adored Lily, how could they not? She was wonderful and kind, not to mention probably the prettiest girl in the school. And for as long as Remus had known her, and she had known a very significant secret of his, she had always treated him as a true friend.
They were all half in love with her. Except James. He was over the moon. *Lucky so and so*
"Attention!" Professor Alchem banged a ladle against a large, black cauldron in front of him, quieting the chatter in the room immediately. "Today, as you can see....."
Sirius had stopped listening. He knew this potion, as he had already made it two years ago....er, by accident. He cast his eyes around the room, checking out the Slytherins with a fresh wave of distaste.
Snape, the large-nosed git, was glaring in his direction and Sirius gave him a gesture that in many cultures is considered quite rude.
Luckily, Professor Alchem didn't see it, but Remus did.
"Sirius!" He hissed tensely. "What are you trying to do?"
Sirius shrugged at his friend and continued glaring in Snape's direction. He felt another pair of eyes focused on the bench he was sharing with Remus and saw......oh yes, her.
Mappe. Her stringy hair almost completely covering her eyes, her hands gripping the sides of her table until her knuckles were white, she looked half-crazed, even for a Slytherin.
Those weird eyes of hers, gray and cold, were directly on Remus. As they usually were. Instead of feeling the usual urge to tease his friend about it, Sirius felt a touch of anger.
*That girl is bad news, wish she'd just lay off.* Sirius scowled at the witch but she didn't even glance in his direction, her attention completely on Remus.
Sirius felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, some sixth sense kicking in. He turned to Remus who seemed very pale and saw a sheen of sweat on his friend's forehead.
"Remus" he whispered, concerned, "Are you all right? Need to go see the nurse about anything?"
Remus shook his head abruptly. Lily and James turned in his direction, both of them with questioning looks on their faces..
Sirius shook his head but pointed at Remus and shrugged his shoulders. He caught the flash of deep concern in Lily's eyes before she turned back to the Potion's Professor. James and Lily weren't Head Boy and Girl for nothing and both were paying strict attention.
Remus, in the meantime, was getting worse. His hands were shaking and he was sweating badly, his face becoming flushed but with the prominent dark circles under his eyes standing out more and more.
When Remus finally doubled over with a gasp of pain, the class stopped and stared at him. Sirius reacted.
"I need to go with him to the infirmary."
He heard some whispers and turned to face the Slytherins angrily, daring them to say something. Remus moaned, began shaking in earnest and collapsed.
"Remus!" Lily and James were at the young wizard's side in a flash. Sirius resisted the urge to smash in Snape's nose as the greasy-haired prat smirked in their direction.
Professor Alchem seemed bewildered as the rest of the Gryffindors crowded around to help. "Class, calm down.....yes, Black, get him upstairs, maybe it's this cold front. Lots of flu going around."
"Er, right professor."
As Sirius turned to help Remus out the door, followed by Lily who had tears in her eyes and James, who's face was alight with fear, he felt that familiar prickle.
Mappe was smiling at them, grinning at Remus. Sirius shuddered. She half- stood up to get a better look at them leaving........and grasped some shelves near the back of the room where she was sitting. Her partner scooted away from her suddenly.
Mappe wasn't liked even in her own house, even by slime like Lucius Malfoy and Eustace Lestrange. As she grasped the shelf, someone screamed and the entire thing came down on her.
The flames under her cauldron ignited the mixture and a huge explosion rocked the Potions room, throwing the students around like rag dolls.
Sirius, Remus, Lily and James were pushed from the door into the corridor outside.
James was on his feet, after checking on his three friends. "Peter!!"
He raced back in, Sirius on his heels. Lily knelt near Remus, stunned, trying to help him as he rolled around and moaned pitifully.
Mappe couldn't see, didn't know where she was. A ear-splitting scream was all she could hear. She realized it was coming from _her_.
She saw several students trying to reach her through the wall of flame and toxic mixture, coughing and gagging.
Professor Alchem was trying to help some fallen students and Mappe continued to scream as her head felt as though it would explode.
She felt a spell hit her, she didn't know where it had come from and she instinctively reached out with her mind to grasp at her tormentor.
A startled yell met her ears and she held the blighter's wand, triumphantly.
"Mappe, NO!!!" She didn't heed the words as she snapped the wand in two.
The flames and destruction increased two-fold with the released magic from the wand's core.
Remus, outside the door frame, heard Lily scream James' name and saw her dash back in just as a blinding light exploded from the room.
Gasping in horror, he tried to get to his feet, not understanding what it was that had happened to him.
He saw utter chaos in the Potions room, students hurt, small explosions going off from fires still lit and a mass of brightly colored flame and smoke in the far corner, trapping several students including.....
"Mappe!" Remus didn't think, he just moved. As a few students fought their way through the toxic screen, Remus jumped into it. He picked up Mappe's limp form and began dragging it out, ignoring the searing pain in his own body.
He knew the mixture couldn't truly hurt him, not permanently. Unless there was some kind of silver extract in there. Ah, the perks of being a werewolf.
He had to get poor Mappe out. He heard several voices screaming his name and he began hacking on the smoke, trying to get through. It seemed no use.
Finally, he gave in to the darkness, collapsing beside Mappe in a heap.
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When Remus finally came to, he was aware of someone crying near him. He tried to raise his head and was rewarded with a lance of agony through his skull.
"Remus!" Sirius stood up, his face tight with worry. Behind him were James and Peter, both with bandages on them, both looking at him anxiously.
Lily had been sobbing by his pillow but stopped when she saw Remus' eyes open, gray meeting green.
"Wh-w..."
"Don't talk, Moony." James grabbed one of Remus' hands and squeezed it for a moment before running to get the nurse.
Remus looked over. Several beds from him, a couple was crying bitterly. A girl, barely recognizable, lay in one bed, bandaged up and still.
Remus wanted to scream. *No...* He'd failed. He hadn't made it in time. Poor Mappe.
**************************************************************************** **
*That's right, come on, a little closer. You can't escape me* A dark shadow crossed a worn, tile floor.
The candles that provided the only light made the thin, long-haired figure even more sinister. A low cackle followed by some hysterical giggling that would send chills through any sane person echoed in the large room.
*A little more, little more. Almost there.* Dark eyes lit up with a terrible fire, hair fell over a waxy brow and a mouth split open into a wide, terrifying grin.
A large hand with long fingers reached out. *Almost there.*
"Sirius! What in the name of the Dark Arts are you doing?"
"Ah-ha!! Knew I'd catch the little bugger." Triumphantly, the ex-convict that had terrified both the Muggle and wizarding world held up his prey.
A squirming cockroach. Sirius released the breath he'd been holding and held the bug up in front of his oldest friend's eyes.
Remus looked at it disgustedly. "Erg, thought that exterminating spell would've worked better."
"Well, if you would ever clean up this pig-sty, Moony."
"Excuse me? Who's the one who's been cluttering it up for the past few weeks, _Padfoot_"
Sirius held up his hands and laughed. "All right, all right, truce. How about I take care of our little unwanted houseguest huh?"
"All right but get rid of the cockroach while you're at it, will you?"
"Oh, you're hysterical Moony, really."
Remus Lupin's weathered face broke into a grin which changed his whole countenance. His thick, brown hair, flecked with deep gray and making him look deceivingly older than what he was, was brushed back by one hand.
When Sirius returned from outside, his friend was sitting at the Lupin's kitchen table. Remus was the only one who lived here now. The house suited Sirius just fine, as it was secluded and quiet. Remus had inherited from his parents, both gone now, and migrated back here regularly, always returning from whatever odd job he was doing to earn a little money.
Remus was now reading the Daily Prophet and shaking his head in disgust. Sirius glanced at him, concerned.
"What is it? More of Fudge's ramblings? Let me guess, I'm still the cause of all of our problems, still a wanted fugitive and Voldemort is in no way, shape or form, on the rise again."
"Toss in comments about Harry's sanity and the security of Dumbledore's school and you've just about got it wrapped up in a nutshell."
Sirius blanched, snatching the paper away from Remus. "Er....sorry."
Remus shrugged to say it was no big deal. "Harry is mentioned in here? How could they...why those miserable _bastards_!! Hasn't he been through enough without them dragging him out into the spotlight every chance they get?! Don't they realize that it's dangerous and....?"
Sirius was breathing hard, furious. Remus, used to Sirius' temper....and it getting him into trouble, took the paper back from his friend and folded it to hide other headlines.
"No, no and no, to answer your questions. At least not according to them. As long as Fudge keeps covering up this mess, we'll probably be seeing more of this, Padfoot."
"I know.....but, bloody hell, Moony, it makes me howling mad, if you pardon the expression."
Remus smiled, that tolerant smile that showed his sense of humor and that Sirius fully appreciated after dealing with twelve years of Azkaban horrors. "No offense taken, though you're not exactly quiet in your Animagus form either, Padfoot."
"Yes, yes, whatever. Um....so, have you heard anything? I mean lately? What I mean is, more lately than later, or the last time I asked, or even....."
Remus stood up to make some tea, waiting a while before answering. "No, have you?" He looked pointedly at Sirius who glanced away guiltily.
"Look, it's not as though I don't want to write to him. I miss him....I really do, dammit Moony, the pain is like a toothache I can't get rid of. But he's a teenager, he's been through hell and he needs time alone. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself since he's barely corresponded with me since the Tournament."
Remus looked his old friend over and saw the hurt in Sirius' dark eyes. He felt a stab of pity. "I sent him some books to keep him occupied. He sounded okay in his last note. But then again, if he wasn't okay...well, you know that boy."
Sirius stared into space. "Certainly I know him, I mean, I've barely had a chance to see him let alone talk with him. But I, guess..um, I _know_ him."
Remus calmly sipped his tea and shifted through some of his other mail. This had become a routine for the two of them since Sirius had showed up on his doorstep a few weeks earlier, sopping wet and nearly frantic.
Remus remembered his first reaction had been to panic, rather unlike him. But since he'd been following Harry's inclusion into the Triwizard Tournament suspiciously, his first thought had been that the terrible thing he'd been dreading had happened.
Sirius had then dropped a bomb worse than anything Remus could have expected. Voldemort had kidnaped Harry, who barely escaped with his life, but not before Voldemort had used him to restore himself to full power.
Even now, Lupin could barely believe it. It was like everyone was living in a surreal environment, waiting for the Dark wizard to make the first move. Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, the Weasleys to simply name a few of the 'old crowd' who had been contacted but done nothing since.
As long as Harry was safe and no Death Eaters had been on the move, all anyone _could_ do was wait. Remus, unfortunately, had the bad feeling that the thing they were all waiting for was coming.....and soon.
Sirius had reacted very badly to Harry's experience, ranting and raving one minute and completely withdrawing the next. Withdrawing which meant alienating his godson, whom Remus knew needed him right now.
But Remus couldn't force his old friend to do anything, especially in an already delicate situation. He knew that Black loved the boy, how could he not? Harry had a way of getting to someone, made especially effective by the fact that he had no idea of his influence over people.
So, for the past few weeks Remus had tried to maintain as much contact as he could with James' son, as much for his own sake as for Harry's. He wished that Sirius would stuff his feelings of guilt and apprehension and do the same.
He couldn't blame his friend though. Not by a long shot. He felt the same way sometimes.
He was the one who had let that rat get away during their last encounter. Allowing Pettigrew to escape and perform that terrible ritual on Harry for his master last month.
It curdled Remus' stomach and he shuddered to think what would happen to Peter the next time his path crossed Sirius'.
Something in the mail caught Remus' eye, taking away from his inner musings. He recognized Arthur Weasley's handwriting and immediately his guard went up.
Sirius, instincts honed from living on the run, caught Remus' change of mood immediately. "Moony? What is it?"
Remus tore open the letter and read it quickly. His face tensed and Sirius held his breath.
"Bad news?"
"Of a sort. Percy Weasley, do you know him?"
Sirius looked confused. "Sure, one of Arthur's older sons. Why, did something happen?" Black felt anxious. Oh no...the Weasleys certainly didn't deserve.....
"Dumbledore has added his own take on the situation. It seems that Percy was taken right out of the Ministry and interrogated with Veritaserum by unknown persons."
Sirius swore forcefully. "Where is he now? Do they still have him?!"
"No, thank goodness. Though Fudge has heard an earful about security measures in that place. Seems Percy wasn't the first one that this has happened to, but he was the first top-priority employee, if you know what I mean."
Sirius did. Oh hell....
"Dumbledore thinks the lad found his way home by instinct alone, since he had to be revived when he got there."
"Revived? Was he under an enchantment?"
"Memory tampering, as to be expected."
Sirius swore again, prompting a raised eyebrow from Remus. "Bloody bastards. I can't believe this! How are Arthur and Molly?"
"All right, apparently. Though their other children have been put under a closer watch."
Sirius paused, trying to find the right words. "Has..h-has, does Harry know?"
"No, and Dumbledore has expressed instructions that Harry should be kept in the dark about this, especially after...."
*Cedric* The name hung in the air between the two. Sirius looked very pale.
"Dumbledore checked up on Percy, trying to recover anything that the Death Eaters, and it's probably a safe assumption that's who it was, asked him."
"And?"
"Nothing concrete, those memory charms can be very powerful, but they were probably trying to find Harry's location."
Sirius, if possible, went even paler.
Remus continued quickly, spotting the expression on his friend's face. "Not that they could do anything about it if they did find him. That place has got some very strong magic protecting it. And Sirius....."
"...."
"Sirius!"
"Huh?"
"Dumbledore also says here that we, um...shouldn't go Marauding after Prongs Jr., if you know what I mean."
Sirius actually smiled. "Moony, I always know what you mean and why the hell are you speaking in code? Do the walls have listening charms on them or something?"
Remus grinned sheepishly. "I think I like this whole undercover thing, although I'm not fond of some things about it."
Sirius scowled. "Me either. Does he honestly think that I'm not going to go and check up on Harry?"
"Sirius...."
"I mean, come on! He's my godson, and those crazed psychopaths could be on his trail right now...._without_ him even knowing it!!"
"Calm down, Padfoot. I'm sure the Headmaster has good reasons for all of this."
"Yes? Like what? Ruining my life?" Sirius slumped down in his chair, his head in his hands.
Remus sighed, knowing when he was beaten. *Since when do I throw in the towel without even putting up a good fight?* He knew the answer to that.
Deep down, he agreed with Sirius. He wanted to see Harry and make sure he was all right. Let the boy know that they were looking out for him.
"Sirius, I'll send Harry a letter telling him to expect us and to watch his back. That's all, then we can actually make some plans to see him."
Black's face shed ten years at this comment as he smiled and ran a hand through his dark hair.
"We'll have to wait for a reply from Harry before going off on any of your half-baked plans, though."
"Certainly, I know...."
Remus got the feeling Sirius wasn't listening as the other man rummaged for a quill and paper.
Sirius found what he was looking for and grinned broadly at his old friend, who began writing.
"Aw, Moony. Half-baked is what I do best!"
**************************************************************************** **
1978
Voices. Whose voices?
*Can't see* Mappe tried to raise her hand. It wouldn't cooperate. Her body hurt. She wanted to talk but couldn't.
She couldn't seem to form words, her concentration was sliding away from her just as she grasped one tangible thought.
~Freak~ That's what she was. Didn't matter, she didn't care.
What had happened? Someone had attacked her, someone had caused all of this....HIM!
But, *why?* Mappe's emotions were running away, far away from her self- control. She didn't understand, what was happening?
She was watching him. She always watched him. He was so beautiful, that force right below such a normal surface. Those eyes, deep gray.
He had turned on her, attacked her. He hated her. Everyone hated her....didn't matter. She hated them. Her parents had forced her to come here, to this horrible place.
*Head hurts*
"Mappe?"
*Mum?*
"Mappe, sweetie, can you hear us? Oh Mappe, please answer."
*Mum's crying. She always cries because she's weak. Weak Hufflepuff, like Malfoy said.*
Why? Why had he turned on her? He was the only one, the only one who wasn't cruel. He was perfect. She followed him, she knew what he was, she could feel it.
And he left her, attacked her. *No, something isn't right. Can't remember, what happened?*
He was in the fire, calling to her. He left her. All his fault.
Voices again.
"Are you sure?"
A deep sigh. " I think it's safe to say that what remains of her mind isn't enough to allow her to live outside of a hospital. She's too damaged."
Crying again. Her father's voice, full of sadness. "What's happened to her eyes? Is there any explanation?"
*My eyes? NO! My eyes are like his, same color, same......*
"I'm not sure, there was such an influx of different forms of magic and the broken wand, well....I'm not sure what's happened to her."
Quiet. *Let it last. Go away, leave me alone. He _left_ me, he was the only one. _Hate_ him*
"Did she have, er, any other abilities before the accident?"
A whisper. "Yes, she was......gifted. Her mind was always very strong."
"You mean with psychic tendencies?"
"N-no, it wasn't just that. She was different. It wasn't her fault, she's special."
"Her eyes, not to mention her mind and her body, will probably never recover. You should realize that."
Sobbing. "They were so lovely, gray, deep gray."
"Y-you don't know what color they are anymore?"
"They're not _any_ color anymore. I've never seen anything like it. I'm been scouring through books but there is no explanation. It is purely a fluke."
Mappe opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. Instead, a long, terrified wail sounded in her head. *No, no, no!! He left me, how _could_ he? I-I loved him.*
**************************************************************************** **
A Month Later
"So, she's finally leaving, huh?"
Lily sniffed. "I think that's terrible. She didn't deserve to have that happen." The red-haired girl shivered. "How horrible."
James looked sympathetically at her and wrapped her in a warm hug.
"She'll be all right. She'll be with her parents, they're really decent people as far as I could see."
Sirius was watching another member of the tight-knit group as they made their way into the castle from the Quidditch Pitch.
"Hey uh, Remus? You okay?"
Remus, who'd been staring off into space, looked at his friend with a deep sadness in his eyes. "Sure Sirius. I'm fine."
No one looked like they believed him.
Lily stepped forward and reached out a hand but Remus backed away. Sirius was shocked. Remus _never_ acted that way with Lily, or anyone for that matter.
"I-it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. Oh Remus, you could've died, or ended up......"
"Like Mappe?" Remus' tone was bitter, laced with regret.
Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, Moony, she was a bit off from the beginning. I'm not trying to sound insensitive or anything but-"
Remus scowled at his friend and stomped off, muttering under his breath something about catching up with them later.
James sighed and ran a hand through his already wild hair. "Is he going to act like this during Graduation?"
Lily stared after wizard's retreating form. "He blames himself. Poor Remus, and poor Mappe for that matter. I feel terrible for her. But," her green eyes hardened, "as badly as I feel, it was not worth it for Remus to risk his life like that. He came so close."
James nodded. "He'll be all right. I'm sure he'll snap out of it. Uh, anyone know where he's headed?"
Sirius glanced at his best friend in frustration. "Back to the hospital wing. Mappe hasn't said one word since the accident but Remus has gone there at least once a week to try and speak to her. I wish he would give it up. Like I said, that girl wasn't fully there in the first place."
Lily glared at Sirius. "You've never liked her and it's not because she's a Slytherin. What's wrong with you, Padfoot?"
Sirius sighed deeply. "I-I don't know. I just don't _trust_ her. She honestly gives me the creeps and the way she acts towards Remus makes me, um, nervous."
James rolled his eyes. "Quit being so overprotective and let Moony take care of himself. He's fine, let's eat, I'm starved."
Remus Lupin, in the meantime, was sitting in his old spot by Mappe's bed, staring at her bruised, vacant face and those unbelievable eyes.
They were luminescent, swirling, just.....unreal. Startling didn't begin to cover it. But they never registered anything.
Remus smoothed his patched robes around him and cleared his throat. "Mappe?" No answer, there never was.
Remus felt wracked with guilt, looking at her lying there, so helpless.
"I'm really sorry. I should've tried harder. You'll be all right, though. You get to go home. Take care, I'm sorry." Remus said again and stood to leave, his heart heavy.
Suddenly, a thin, claw-like hand reached out and grasped his wrist with surprising strength. Remus nearly yelled in shock.
"Liar" Mappe hissed at him, absolute hatred twisting her face so that she resembled a harpy.
Remus stared back at her.......into those eyes.
"Remus"
Nothing. He felt, weird. Odd, detached but calm, very calm.
Remus' thoughts began to slow down, his head spinning. He felt good, almost euphoric.
"I know what you are."
He didn't care. So she knew? Didn't matter.
"I loved you, you know that? I still do.....I can make you forget. Don't you want to forget, Remus? I can feel your pain, it's wonderful, I've never felt anything like it. Don't you want to give it to me, leave yourself behind."
"Leave....behind" Remus' gray eyes were totally empty as he stared at Mappe. He didn't register anything but her words, soft and sweet.
"Forget the pain, forget everything and come with me."
"Forget....yes, want to, forget."
Mappe stood up and still holding Remus' wrist quietly led him out of the door.
************************************************************************
The thin woman sat in front of the fire in the old, musty library, completely silent.
Trissy squeaked in fear, knowing that distant look in her mistress' eyes. Long, lank hair flopped over large eyes and hands gripped the sides of the patched armchair tightly, almost painfully.
"M-m-missus Mappe?" Mappe was biting her bottom lip so hard that blood could be seen in small droplets around those grotesque teeth.
The room she was in smelled of mildew, as it hadn't been properly cleaned since the death of the witch's parents. Trissy, her family's faithful house elf had the rest of the old-fashioned house cleaned from top to bottom but Mappe had stubbornly not allowed her to enter this room to do anything except fetch her missus.
Trissy, terrified of Mappe for as long as the witch could remember, did exactly as she was told. Mappe wasn't concerned. Nearly everyone had been afraid, or wary, of her, even before...._it_ had happened.
She giggled, her eyes widening. Sighing and pushing her hair out of her face, she turned a blank face to the house elf.
"Get out you disgusting thing. When I want you to do something, I'll call you."
Trissy lowered her head shamefully, much to Mappe's delight. "Out!!" Mappe shrieked, letting her voice echo in the dark room.
Trissy, with a dry sob, ran out of the room quickly, her bat-like ears flopping around her head.
Mappe continued looking at the fire.
*I can feel it. He has returned.* She made a fist with one hand. *Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, he won't let you join. They all hate you, all of them.*
Mappe didn't mind. She enjoyed their fear, their reservations. It gave her a sense of power, even in school she had loved it when her fellow students had turned tail when they saw her coming. It had only gotten worse, more isolating.....more fun, after _it_ had happened.
The only ones that hadn't treated her like a freak were her parents. Parents....the word sounded in Mappe's head again and again. She shook her head, hands over ears, angrily. *No! They're dead...dead, dead, dead...gone and I can be left in peace.*
Any fleeting thoughts of her parents, her annoying servant or her inheritance which was in serious need of some upkeep were gone as she returned her gaze to the fire.
*Show me.....* The flames danced seductively in front of her eyes. Her eyes....anything that fell under the power of her gaze, even the fire.... Mappe didn't finish the thought, she rarely did finish one.
They were like leaves swirling in a cold, winter wind, impossible to grasp. Mappe could feel something though. The presence was growing stronger, feeding off of fear, the same uncertainty which had become prevalent as she was growing up and leaving school.
Leaving school to come _here_. For the rest of her life, living in isolation. That was because _it_ had happened, but it didn't matter.
*He's come back. I wonder....if they know, remember me.* Mappe's thin lips turned upward into a cruel smile. The odd sense of power returned, flowing through her. Her old schoolmates' fear, how she used to thrive on it! Even the powerful one, he was afraid, pushing her away when she had wanted to embrace the darkness.
When the evil one had pushed her away, Mappe had felt, for the second time in her life, the pain and sting of rejection so strong that her comforting loneliness was shattered in a shriek of pain and agony.
He did not want her, even with her power. She could join them and become stronger, feeding off of fellow wizards' fear and misunderstanding of her. She could feed off Muggles, with all of their petty problems and superstitions. After all, her family had done it for generations, their surname practically a by-word for old medieval prejudices against magic.
But they did not want her. Just like _he_ hadn't wanted her from the first. _Him_
A low hiss, filled with hate, sounded from Mappe. Alone with her thoughts, day after day. Still, she hated him.
Once again, she remembered her parents. They were the only ones who had loved her unconditionally. Then again, they had both been weak fools who had done Helga Hufflepuff's house proud.
Then she came along, continuing the Slytherin tradition which had been broken for a few generations. She had been so proud of it, proud to get away from the shamefulness of being the offspring of two Hufflepuffs. She cared nothing for intellect and studies, so Ravenclaw did not even register in her mind.
As for the Gryffindors. Mappe bared her teeth snarling. Damned Gryffindors. Thinking they were better than her because of their house, never showing their fear of her though she knew they could feel it.....she fed off it.
Trissy, quaking with fear, had returned to her mistress' room, holding a tray of food. She had done it every year since Mappe had returned home to stay.....and torment the life out of the house elf.
Trissy sniffed, her large, bulbous eyes filled with unshed tears as she remembered her kind mistress, Mappe's mother, from before. She had been a fine lady, as different from her daughter as one could be, and Trissy could never go against one of her orders, even though the lady was long since gone.
So she crept in with food she knew would probably be left untouched, wondering at the state of Mappe's mind, and wondering, even though she was only a humble house elf, if Mappe's mother's request to keep her daughter out of St. Mungo's had been wise after all.
Mappe had never really been what you'd call normal, even by wizarding standards, but after the incident, never called by name in the Maleficent house, the girl's shattered mind had wreaked havoc on family life here.
She had almost been through with Hogwarts when it had happened, right after the NEWT's, which Mappe hadn't done too well in. But then _it_ had happened and Mappe's parents, in a numbed state of shock, had taken their daughter home to live in solitude for the rest of her life.
Trissy, however, had never trusted the girl. Her deceased mistress had tried to convince her that Mappe was simply a lonely little girl who had had a terrible accident but Trissy could feel darkness radiating off of the witch which had not come from her parents or anyone else.
With some potent house elf magic, Trissy could sense the deeper changes in Mappe, who became more unstable with each passing year, sometimes erupting into hateful tirades, but most of the time living in a place deep within her own mind.
Trissy couldn't help but dread the time when Mappe came out of her own subconscious, sickened at the memory of what had happened before. At Hogwarts. It was more than school-house rivalry and luckily the student that Mappe had fixated on had parents who also wanted to hush up the situation.
Trissy knew why but that had been the boy's business. Mappe's parents, in despair, had decided that she would never be able to live a productive life, yet refused to give her up to St. Mungo's, being kind-hearted and loyal. Typical Hufflepuffs.
Trissy gulped as she set the tray down but luckily Mappe was having a quieter day despite the earlier outburst. She often did when she went to the city near their home, which is why Trissy allowed her to leave, regardless of the consequences.
"Missus Mappe? Is you wanting to read some paper, missus?" Gingerly, the house elf placed a copy of the Daily Prophet on Mappe's lap, knowing the witch would probably toss it into the fire without a second glance.
Mappe however, turned her luminous eyes onto the house elf. Trissy squeaked with real terror and folded her large ears over her own eyes, quaking.
"Trissy, who is that boy?"
"B-boy...boy, Missus Mappe?!" Trissy squeaked painfully.
"Yes you idiot creature. The boy, _here_. I've seen him before, his name. Is he famous, Trissy?"
Trissy gulped audibly when she saw who Mappe was pointing at. "Oh...oh yes, missus. He is winning the contest. That's all, winning the contest." Trissy pulled her own ear at this in punishment and Mappe glared in suspicion.
"What contest? And you're lying....I've seen it before, I remember....." Mappe trailed off, her hands folding the paper absently. Trissy sighed with relief as her mistress' attention seemed elsewhere.
She looked down at the caption. Triwizard Champion wins under Mysterious Circumstances. Old News and No News still Good News?
The bespectacled boy who was on the page smiled and waved up at the house elf and Trissy found herself grinning broadly back. Her kind and many other creatures as well, loved the skinny lad with jet-black hair who had done a great deal for them, albeit unknowingly.
Mappe was looking at the house elf with deeper suspicion than before. A light glinted in her strange eyes, returning her mind back to a whole state, just for a moment.
Times like these were rare but they did occur. *Boy Who Lived. He's the one..._Him_!! He looks like...no, not the same, but still! He caused the dark one's downfall. Everything gone, empty. He did it, the emptiness.*
Mappe's fists tightened at the recollection. One minute the world had seemed so dark and delicious, right for the feeding, and then, nothing.
Mappe had stayed in this room for nearly a year afterwards, coming out only when forced and even then shrieking and protesting, in real pain. The world was just too empty, too clean. She needed the emotion, the fear.
Like a Dementor feeding off of it, she got a rush from the panic and the evil power that flowed through the magical community. Then it was gone....all gone. Until now. It was coming back. Yes, coming back. To stay.
Her eyes rested on the page, on the boy. *I'll make sure it stays this time. I'll belong, thanks to you Harry Potter.*
**************************************************************************** **
My, my, what would Hermione do? S.P.E.W. to the rescue! Er, or something like that. Ok, not yet. But soon, my pretties, soon. Too much Dt. Pepsi and three hours of sleep isn't good for the author. Onward.
**************************************************************************** **
1974- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
"Hey, James, whose bright idea was it to fit all of us under this thing?"
"I believe it was _yours_ Padfoot."
"I have to agree, do you really think Honeydukes is worth this?"
"Never thought I'd hear _you_ say that Peter, of all people. Come on, Marauders never say die and all of that."
Three grumbles met Sirius Black's chipper statement.
Three _invisible_ grumbles met his statement, from his disembodied voice. Suddenly, a taller boy appeared, gasping and smoothing his thick brown hair with one hand.
"Jeez Prongs, I can't _breathe_ under that thing!" Remus Lupin's thin, pale face was now flushed from lack of air and being cramped under James Potter's invisibility cloak.
Another boy appeared, slightly shorter than the first, with dark hair that came past his ears and a handsome, tanned face which was now lit up with a wide grin.
"Come on, Moony. Picture it." Sirius threw an arm around Remus shoulders, who looked at him tentatively, an eyebrow raised. "Sugar quills, Fudge varieties of every kind, Bertie Bott's, Chocolate Frogs...I'm just going over the basics. Let's not forget, scrumptious Cockroach Clusters."
Remus grimaced and Sirius wiggled his eyebrows at his friend. Finally the other boy burst out laughing, as he always did when around Sirius. One couldn't help it.
Peter Pettigrew and James Potter had also thrown off the invisibility cloak in the darkened, deserted Hogwarts' hallway.
Peter, a small, chubby boy with thin blonde hair keep casting his eyes furtively around, in terror of being caught. With his grades he really couldn't afford to be caught bending the rules, though he followed his three friends loyally. Easy for them, they could charm their way out of trouble in a second.....unlike him.
James, another wizard about Sirius' height was watching his two friends with a bemused expression on his face, eyes slightly hidden behind his glasses. The boy's wild dark hair could barely be seen in the dark.
"Maybe we should go back, y'know...." James motioned towards Peter. The other two took the hint, though it was no surprise that James was the one to think of it. He always looked out for Peter, no matter what.
Sirius made a dog-like growl and threw his arms up. "You guys are hopeless! What's going to happen to my _reputation_? I mean, if I can't even make a simply Honeydukes' raid, what's going to happen in years to come? Oh yes, the tragedy, the humanity.....Sirius Black simply becoming another nameless face in the crowd."
"Are you done Padfoot?"
"Why no, Prongs, I've only just begun."
"Seriously, _Sirius_, cut it out."
Both Remus and Peter guffawed at that. Sirius scowled for a nanosecond before grinning as well. He couldn't help it if his name was probably one of the worst for drawing bad puns to. It came with the territory of being a Black, and he was darn proud of it.
Remus suddenly held up a hand and the other three froze, trusting his ears instinctively. Remus had had excellent hearing for most of his life for a very significant reason, though had he a choice, he would have given up the curse and gone back to hearing just like everybody else.
No matter. Remus focused his eyes on a corner far down the corridor.
"Is it Snape?" Sirius asked, his voice low and dangerous, eyes glittering in excitement at catching that git without his slimy Slytherin friends surrounding him for protection.
Remus shook his head and began walking over cautiously. "Careful Moony" James whispered from right behind him.
The werewolf nodded and continued though when he reached the corner that led into an even darker passageway, all he saw was a mop of dark hair and a small form that made no noise as it pattered back down to where it had come from.
Remus sighed, his eyes focusing in the dark.
"Was it your shadow, again?"
Remus jumped out of his skin. "Bloody!! Sirius.....! If you're going to sneak up on someone, don't do it to _me_."
Sirius grinned guiltily. "Mappe Maleficent" He spoke the name aloud for James' and Peter's benefit. The other two boys grimaced and nodded in understanding.
"Dragon's teeth, that girl is worse than Every-stay glue! And she's _creepy_, even for a Slytherin."
James nodded in agreement. "How did she find us, anyway?"
Remus spoke quietly. "Don't know. She's unsettling that one. I wonder what's wrong with her."
"Something, that's for sure, if she's got a thing for you, Moony." Remus pushed Sirius away playfully for his remark and continued looking down the dark passage, knowing Mappe was still there. And knowing she knew he was looking.
He shivered, his gray eyes focusing on hers as she reappeared for a moment. The color was nearly the same but while Remus' eyes were full of intelligence and kindness, Mappe's held a malicious sparkle, as well as an unnatural light most of the time.
Something about her...something. The wolf that resided deep within him howled, long and low. It stirred, though he was nowhere near the full moon.
"Moony! Moony!! Bloody hell....Remus!!"
"Huh?" Remus focused on his friends, all looking at him in fear. James' hands were on his shoulders. Sirius pushed his hair back in relief.
"Uh, where did you go there, Moony?" James was staring down the same passage Remus had been, his usually warm brown eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Is she still there?" An eerie quiet descended on the four. Remus shook his head.
"I _really_ don't like that girl." Sirius said, rubbing his arms and clapping Remus on the back. Peter was quaking with fear, already on his way back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
It was no secret how _he_ felt about any and all Slytherins, but Mappe in particular could unsettle anyone.
Still.....Remus stared down the passage, though he knew Mappe was gone, for a moment longer before following his friends.
**************************************************************************** **
Stretching two thin arms, one still with a bandage around an elbow, a boy, fifteen years old with startling green eyes, thick glasses and a wild mop of dark hair had a jaw-popping yawn and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly.
The boy sprawled on his bed, exhausted from doing his "History of Magic" essay, which, if it was actually possible, was even more boring than the actual class.....and tired out for another, more significant reason.
One hand moved from his glasses to go higher up, rubbing a unique looking scar that crossed his forehead. It hadn't seriously hurt for awhile, though the occasional twinge always put him on edge.
Especially after the events less than a month ago. Harry Potter, known to many as the Boy Who Lived shut his schoolbooks and rubbed his temples, trying to ward off his growing headache.
Being a wizard would usually be an asset to any growing boy. Except Harry lived with his magic hating Muggle family, the Dastardly Dursleys. And ever since he'd been home, he'd been forced to clean the house and trim the garden around Number 4, Privet Drive all day, before working on his homework until late in the evening.
The good news to all of this was that Harry was then too exhausted to dream the horrific nightmares that had grown steadily worse since he was eleven years old. The bad news is that he felt stretched to the limit....and wished for a little bit of fun, especially after the year he had had, preparing for the Tournament and now preparing for his dreaded OWLs.
Harry missed his friends, Hermione and Ron, terribly. Although they might not have realized it, they were his rock in the very turbulent sea called his life. Losing either one of them was something that even his worst nightmares couldn't register.
He also missed his godfather, ex-convict, (to those that mattered, anyway) Sirius Black. He had received many letters from Remus Lupin, his ex- professor and another good friend, but fewer from Sirius.
Harry tried to be understanding about it but it hurt his feelings slightly. He knew Sirius cared about him, but Harry knew he had his own life to worry about, and things to prepare for, now that Voldemort was on the rise again.
Harry swallowed against the painful lump in his throat. He couldn't be bothered with his old best friend's son whom he hadn't even seen for over twelve years. And Harry didn't mind.....really.
As though reading his thoughts, Hedwig, Harry's beautiful snow-white owl came soaring in through his window, dropping two dead mice on the windowsill and alighting on Harry's bed. She then looked at her boy fondly with two huge, amber eyes.
Harry smiled in spite of himself. A soft feeling of tenderness curled up in his battered heart and he stroked Hedwig's feathers gently.
She hooted and nipped him on the finger, her way of showing affection he had deciphered.
Harry, shaking his head forcibly, tried to climb out of his growing depression as best he could by sorting through his friends' and acquaintances' letters and packages. Though his birthday wasn't for another few weeks, Harry had been receiving various things that those who cared about him thought would cheer him up.
There had been the plant that could pop in and out of its planting soil, depending on the mood of the one who owned it, from Neville. Harry smiled when he remembered how kind that had been of his fellow Gryffindor. Neville loved plants and herbology, and Harry was happy that he had found an outlet in something.
There was also the Chudley Cannons poster from Ron, (Harry rolled his eyes, Ron was nothing if not loyal) and a tank of frog spawn from Ginny. Hedwig had been less than enthusiastic about that last package, investigating the small tank suspiciously when it had first arrived.
There were more Quidditch books from Hermione. And even more books from Remus, which had surprised Harry, even making him feel a little guilty.
Though he never wanted to say, Remus had looked as though extra pocket money didn't exactly come easily to him. Harry pulled out the books Lupin had sent him, laughing again at the titles.
"Look Hedwig, here's two for the both of us." Hedwig landed softly on Harry's shoulder, as though to read the titles from over it. Harry giggled as she hooted, a prompting for him to continue.
Magical Dependency on Owls; Obsession?! Occult?!! or Over-reaction? by J. Pentuc Onclusion. There was also Frenzied and Fumbling Flyers; Why Owls by Allison Audubon.
Harry flipped through both for a bit before watching Hedwig settle down in her cage, giving his tank of frog spawn one more scathing look before she closed her large eyes.
Harry himself yawned, his eyes feeling heavy, though he wasn't looking forward to sleep. He wanted to write to Sirius, his worry for his godfather not letting up since the end of last school year. But he didn't want to bother Sirius when he was obviously busy. He had appeared rather stressed when he'd left Harry in the infirmary only a few weeks earlier.
He had already written several notes to Remus, thanking him and asking about news. Even Dumbledore had kept him better informed than ever before, as his safety seemed to be a larger concern.
Harry hoped fervently that he would still be able to go to the Weasleys. A full summer with his aunt and uncle, not to mention piggy cousin was a bit more than he could take right now.
Still, his eyes closed of their own will, leaving a very tired boy sprawled out asleep on his bedspread.
~Someone was looking for him. Strange eyes, in a fire, the whole world was on fire. And those eyes, they were all he could see, he was drowning in them.
"Harry...."
Mmm, he hadn't felt this light in a long time. Some small part of his brain screamed a warning but Harry didn't listen. This wasn't the Imperius Curse. This was nice....different. He was forgetting....he wanted to forget.
"Forget Harry"
Yes, yes.
"I'm coming Harry. Then you can forget, we'll both get what we want. I'm coming...."
Those eyes, what color were they? Who did they belong to? Didn't matter, nothing mattered. Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, all were left behind, shadows in a dark world that Harry had felt alone and sad in.
The eyes were all that mattered, calling to him.
"Forget...."
Yes.....~
When sunlight drifted in on Harry Potter, he didn't awaken, even after Hedwig had nipped him rather hard on the ear in concern.
When Aunt Petunia forcefully tossed him out of bed in the late afternoon, Harry felt as though he'd been drugged.
His mind felt fuzzy and far away, and he didn't care. Didn't matter.
**************************************************************************** **
1978
"Brr, could it be any colder down here?" Lily Evans tossed her luminous red hair over a shoulder and thumped her bag down on a bench.
James grinned at her. "I'll keep you warm." Lily laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.
"Hands off Potter!" Then, under her breath she muttered, "Not in front of the Slytherins, you may frighten them." Her green eyes sparkled mischievously as James sputtered with laughter.
Sirius, Remus and Peter all rolled their eyes at the same time. Remus couldn't help but grin though.
The three of them adored Lily, how could they not? She was wonderful and kind, not to mention probably the prettiest girl in the school. And for as long as Remus had known her, and she had known a very significant secret of his, she had always treated him as a true friend.
They were all half in love with her. Except James. He was over the moon. *Lucky so and so*
"Attention!" Professor Alchem banged a ladle against a large, black cauldron in front of him, quieting the chatter in the room immediately. "Today, as you can see....."
Sirius had stopped listening. He knew this potion, as he had already made it two years ago....er, by accident. He cast his eyes around the room, checking out the Slytherins with a fresh wave of distaste.
Snape, the large-nosed git, was glaring in his direction and Sirius gave him a gesture that in many cultures is considered quite rude.
Luckily, Professor Alchem didn't see it, but Remus did.
"Sirius!" He hissed tensely. "What are you trying to do?"
Sirius shrugged at his friend and continued glaring in Snape's direction. He felt another pair of eyes focused on the bench he was sharing with Remus and saw......oh yes, her.
Mappe. Her stringy hair almost completely covering her eyes, her hands gripping the sides of her table until her knuckles were white, she looked half-crazed, even for a Slytherin.
Those weird eyes of hers, gray and cold, were directly on Remus. As they usually were. Instead of feeling the usual urge to tease his friend about it, Sirius felt a touch of anger.
*That girl is bad news, wish she'd just lay off.* Sirius scowled at the witch but she didn't even glance in his direction, her attention completely on Remus.
Sirius felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, some sixth sense kicking in. He turned to Remus who seemed very pale and saw a sheen of sweat on his friend's forehead.
"Remus" he whispered, concerned, "Are you all right? Need to go see the nurse about anything?"
Remus shook his head abruptly. Lily and James turned in his direction, both of them with questioning looks on their faces..
Sirius shook his head but pointed at Remus and shrugged his shoulders. He caught the flash of deep concern in Lily's eyes before she turned back to the Potion's Professor. James and Lily weren't Head Boy and Girl for nothing and both were paying strict attention.
Remus, in the meantime, was getting worse. His hands were shaking and he was sweating badly, his face becoming flushed but with the prominent dark circles under his eyes standing out more and more.
When Remus finally doubled over with a gasp of pain, the class stopped and stared at him. Sirius reacted.
"I need to go with him to the infirmary."
He heard some whispers and turned to face the Slytherins angrily, daring them to say something. Remus moaned, began shaking in earnest and collapsed.
"Remus!" Lily and James were at the young wizard's side in a flash. Sirius resisted the urge to smash in Snape's nose as the greasy-haired prat smirked in their direction.
Professor Alchem seemed bewildered as the rest of the Gryffindors crowded around to help. "Class, calm down.....yes, Black, get him upstairs, maybe it's this cold front. Lots of flu going around."
"Er, right professor."
As Sirius turned to help Remus out the door, followed by Lily who had tears in her eyes and James, who's face was alight with fear, he felt that familiar prickle.
Mappe was smiling at them, grinning at Remus. Sirius shuddered. She half- stood up to get a better look at them leaving........and grasped some shelves near the back of the room where she was sitting. Her partner scooted away from her suddenly.
Mappe wasn't liked even in her own house, even by slime like Lucius Malfoy and Eustace Lestrange. As she grasped the shelf, someone screamed and the entire thing came down on her.
The flames under her cauldron ignited the mixture and a huge explosion rocked the Potions room, throwing the students around like rag dolls.
Sirius, Remus, Lily and James were pushed from the door into the corridor outside.
James was on his feet, after checking on his three friends. "Peter!!"
He raced back in, Sirius on his heels. Lily knelt near Remus, stunned, trying to help him as he rolled around and moaned pitifully.
Mappe couldn't see, didn't know where she was. A ear-splitting scream was all she could hear. She realized it was coming from _her_.
She saw several students trying to reach her through the wall of flame and toxic mixture, coughing and gagging.
Professor Alchem was trying to help some fallen students and Mappe continued to scream as her head felt as though it would explode.
She felt a spell hit her, she didn't know where it had come from and she instinctively reached out with her mind to grasp at her tormentor.
A startled yell met her ears and she held the blighter's wand, triumphantly.
"Mappe, NO!!!" She didn't heed the words as she snapped the wand in two.
The flames and destruction increased two-fold with the released magic from the wand's core.
Remus, outside the door frame, heard Lily scream James' name and saw her dash back in just as a blinding light exploded from the room.
Gasping in horror, he tried to get to his feet, not understanding what it was that had happened to him.
He saw utter chaos in the Potions room, students hurt, small explosions going off from fires still lit and a mass of brightly colored flame and smoke in the far corner, trapping several students including.....
"Mappe!" Remus didn't think, he just moved. As a few students fought their way through the toxic screen, Remus jumped into it. He picked up Mappe's limp form and began dragging it out, ignoring the searing pain in his own body.
He knew the mixture couldn't truly hurt him, not permanently. Unless there was some kind of silver extract in there. Ah, the perks of being a werewolf.
He had to get poor Mappe out. He heard several voices screaming his name and he began hacking on the smoke, trying to get through. It seemed no use.
Finally, he gave in to the darkness, collapsing beside Mappe in a heap.
**************************************************************************** **
When Remus finally came to, he was aware of someone crying near him. He tried to raise his head and was rewarded with a lance of agony through his skull.
"Remus!" Sirius stood up, his face tight with worry. Behind him were James and Peter, both with bandages on them, both looking at him anxiously.
Lily had been sobbing by his pillow but stopped when she saw Remus' eyes open, gray meeting green.
"Wh-w..."
"Don't talk, Moony." James grabbed one of Remus' hands and squeezed it for a moment before running to get the nurse.
Remus looked over. Several beds from him, a couple was crying bitterly. A girl, barely recognizable, lay in one bed, bandaged up and still.
Remus wanted to scream. *No...* He'd failed. He hadn't made it in time. Poor Mappe.
**************************************************************************** **
*That's right, come on, a little closer. You can't escape me* A dark shadow crossed a worn, tile floor.
The candles that provided the only light made the thin, long-haired figure even more sinister. A low cackle followed by some hysterical giggling that would send chills through any sane person echoed in the large room.
*A little more, little more. Almost there.* Dark eyes lit up with a terrible fire, hair fell over a waxy brow and a mouth split open into a wide, terrifying grin.
A large hand with long fingers reached out. *Almost there.*
"Sirius! What in the name of the Dark Arts are you doing?"
"Ah-ha!! Knew I'd catch the little bugger." Triumphantly, the ex-convict that had terrified both the Muggle and wizarding world held up his prey.
A squirming cockroach. Sirius released the breath he'd been holding and held the bug up in front of his oldest friend's eyes.
Remus looked at it disgustedly. "Erg, thought that exterminating spell would've worked better."
"Well, if you would ever clean up this pig-sty, Moony."
"Excuse me? Who's the one who's been cluttering it up for the past few weeks, _Padfoot_"
Sirius held up his hands and laughed. "All right, all right, truce. How about I take care of our little unwanted houseguest huh?"
"All right but get rid of the cockroach while you're at it, will you?"
"Oh, you're hysterical Moony, really."
Remus Lupin's weathered face broke into a grin which changed his whole countenance. His thick, brown hair, flecked with deep gray and making him look deceivingly older than what he was, was brushed back by one hand.
When Sirius returned from outside, his friend was sitting at the Lupin's kitchen table. Remus was the only one who lived here now. The house suited Sirius just fine, as it was secluded and quiet. Remus had inherited from his parents, both gone now, and migrated back here regularly, always returning from whatever odd job he was doing to earn a little money.
Remus was now reading the Daily Prophet and shaking his head in disgust. Sirius glanced at him, concerned.
"What is it? More of Fudge's ramblings? Let me guess, I'm still the cause of all of our problems, still a wanted fugitive and Voldemort is in no way, shape or form, on the rise again."
"Toss in comments about Harry's sanity and the security of Dumbledore's school and you've just about got it wrapped up in a nutshell."
Sirius blanched, snatching the paper away from Remus. "Er....sorry."
Remus shrugged to say it was no big deal. "Harry is mentioned in here? How could they...why those miserable _bastards_!! Hasn't he been through enough without them dragging him out into the spotlight every chance they get?! Don't they realize that it's dangerous and....?"
Sirius was breathing hard, furious. Remus, used to Sirius' temper....and it getting him into trouble, took the paper back from his friend and folded it to hide other headlines.
"No, no and no, to answer your questions. At least not according to them. As long as Fudge keeps covering up this mess, we'll probably be seeing more of this, Padfoot."
"I know.....but, bloody hell, Moony, it makes me howling mad, if you pardon the expression."
Remus smiled, that tolerant smile that showed his sense of humor and that Sirius fully appreciated after dealing with twelve years of Azkaban horrors. "No offense taken, though you're not exactly quiet in your Animagus form either, Padfoot."
"Yes, yes, whatever. Um....so, have you heard anything? I mean lately? What I mean is, more lately than later, or the last time I asked, or even....."
Remus stood up to make some tea, waiting a while before answering. "No, have you?" He looked pointedly at Sirius who glanced away guiltily.
"Look, it's not as though I don't want to write to him. I miss him....I really do, dammit Moony, the pain is like a toothache I can't get rid of. But he's a teenager, he's been through hell and he needs time alone. Or at least that's what I've been telling myself since he's barely corresponded with me since the Tournament."
Remus looked his old friend over and saw the hurt in Sirius' dark eyes. He felt a stab of pity. "I sent him some books to keep him occupied. He sounded okay in his last note. But then again, if he wasn't okay...well, you know that boy."
Sirius stared into space. "Certainly I know him, I mean, I've barely had a chance to see him let alone talk with him. But I, guess..um, I _know_ him."
Remus calmly sipped his tea and shifted through some of his other mail. This had become a routine for the two of them since Sirius had showed up on his doorstep a few weeks earlier, sopping wet and nearly frantic.
Remus remembered his first reaction had been to panic, rather unlike him. But since he'd been following Harry's inclusion into the Triwizard Tournament suspiciously, his first thought had been that the terrible thing he'd been dreading had happened.
Sirius had then dropped a bomb worse than anything Remus could have expected. Voldemort had kidnaped Harry, who barely escaped with his life, but not before Voldemort had used him to restore himself to full power.
Even now, Lupin could barely believe it. It was like everyone was living in a surreal environment, waiting for the Dark wizard to make the first move. Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher, the Weasleys to simply name a few of the 'old crowd' who had been contacted but done nothing since.
As long as Harry was safe and no Death Eaters had been on the move, all anyone _could_ do was wait. Remus, unfortunately, had the bad feeling that the thing they were all waiting for was coming.....and soon.
Sirius had reacted very badly to Harry's experience, ranting and raving one minute and completely withdrawing the next. Withdrawing which meant alienating his godson, whom Remus knew needed him right now.
But Remus couldn't force his old friend to do anything, especially in an already delicate situation. He knew that Black loved the boy, how could he not? Harry had a way of getting to someone, made especially effective by the fact that he had no idea of his influence over people.
So, for the past few weeks Remus had tried to maintain as much contact as he could with James' son, as much for his own sake as for Harry's. He wished that Sirius would stuff his feelings of guilt and apprehension and do the same.
He couldn't blame his friend though. Not by a long shot. He felt the same way sometimes.
He was the one who had let that rat get away during their last encounter. Allowing Pettigrew to escape and perform that terrible ritual on Harry for his master last month.
It curdled Remus' stomach and he shuddered to think what would happen to Peter the next time his path crossed Sirius'.
Something in the mail caught Remus' eye, taking away from his inner musings. He recognized Arthur Weasley's handwriting and immediately his guard went up.
Sirius, instincts honed from living on the run, caught Remus' change of mood immediately. "Moony? What is it?"
Remus tore open the letter and read it quickly. His face tensed and Sirius held his breath.
"Bad news?"
"Of a sort. Percy Weasley, do you know him?"
Sirius looked confused. "Sure, one of Arthur's older sons. Why, did something happen?" Black felt anxious. Oh no...the Weasleys certainly didn't deserve.....
"Dumbledore has added his own take on the situation. It seems that Percy was taken right out of the Ministry and interrogated with Veritaserum by unknown persons."
Sirius swore forcefully. "Where is he now? Do they still have him?!"
"No, thank goodness. Though Fudge has heard an earful about security measures in that place. Seems Percy wasn't the first one that this has happened to, but he was the first top-priority employee, if you know what I mean."
Sirius did. Oh hell....
"Dumbledore thinks the lad found his way home by instinct alone, since he had to be revived when he got there."
"Revived? Was he under an enchantment?"
"Memory tampering, as to be expected."
Sirius swore again, prompting a raised eyebrow from Remus. "Bloody bastards. I can't believe this! How are Arthur and Molly?"
"All right, apparently. Though their other children have been put under a closer watch."
Sirius paused, trying to find the right words. "Has..h-has, does Harry know?"
"No, and Dumbledore has expressed instructions that Harry should be kept in the dark about this, especially after...."
*Cedric* The name hung in the air between the two. Sirius looked very pale.
"Dumbledore checked up on Percy, trying to recover anything that the Death Eaters, and it's probably a safe assumption that's who it was, asked him."
"And?"
"Nothing concrete, those memory charms can be very powerful, but they were probably trying to find Harry's location."
Sirius, if possible, went even paler.
Remus continued quickly, spotting the expression on his friend's face. "Not that they could do anything about it if they did find him. That place has got some very strong magic protecting it. And Sirius....."
"...."
"Sirius!"
"Huh?"
"Dumbledore also says here that we, um...shouldn't go Marauding after Prongs Jr., if you know what I mean."
Sirius actually smiled. "Moony, I always know what you mean and why the hell are you speaking in code? Do the walls have listening charms on them or something?"
Remus grinned sheepishly. "I think I like this whole undercover thing, although I'm not fond of some things about it."
Sirius scowled. "Me either. Does he honestly think that I'm not going to go and check up on Harry?"
"Sirius...."
"I mean, come on! He's my godson, and those crazed psychopaths could be on his trail right now...._without_ him even knowing it!!"
"Calm down, Padfoot. I'm sure the Headmaster has good reasons for all of this."
"Yes? Like what? Ruining my life?" Sirius slumped down in his chair, his head in his hands.
Remus sighed, knowing when he was beaten. *Since when do I throw in the towel without even putting up a good fight?* He knew the answer to that.
Deep down, he agreed with Sirius. He wanted to see Harry and make sure he was all right. Let the boy know that they were looking out for him.
"Sirius, I'll send Harry a letter telling him to expect us and to watch his back. That's all, then we can actually make some plans to see him."
Black's face shed ten years at this comment as he smiled and ran a hand through his dark hair.
"We'll have to wait for a reply from Harry before going off on any of your half-baked plans, though."
"Certainly, I know...."
Remus got the feeling Sirius wasn't listening as the other man rummaged for a quill and paper.
Sirius found what he was looking for and grinned broadly at his old friend, who began writing.
"Aw, Moony. Half-baked is what I do best!"
**************************************************************************** **
1978
Voices. Whose voices?
*Can't see* Mappe tried to raise her hand. It wouldn't cooperate. Her body hurt. She wanted to talk but couldn't.
She couldn't seem to form words, her concentration was sliding away from her just as she grasped one tangible thought.
~Freak~ That's what she was. Didn't matter, she didn't care.
What had happened? Someone had attacked her, someone had caused all of this....HIM!
But, *why?* Mappe's emotions were running away, far away from her self- control. She didn't understand, what was happening?
She was watching him. She always watched him. He was so beautiful, that force right below such a normal surface. Those eyes, deep gray.
He had turned on her, attacked her. He hated her. Everyone hated her....didn't matter. She hated them. Her parents had forced her to come here, to this horrible place.
*Head hurts*
"Mappe?"
*Mum?*
"Mappe, sweetie, can you hear us? Oh Mappe, please answer."
*Mum's crying. She always cries because she's weak. Weak Hufflepuff, like Malfoy said.*
Why? Why had he turned on her? He was the only one, the only one who wasn't cruel. He was perfect. She followed him, she knew what he was, she could feel it.
And he left her, attacked her. *No, something isn't right. Can't remember, what happened?*
He was in the fire, calling to her. He left her. All his fault.
Voices again.
"Are you sure?"
A deep sigh. " I think it's safe to say that what remains of her mind isn't enough to allow her to live outside of a hospital. She's too damaged."
Crying again. Her father's voice, full of sadness. "What's happened to her eyes? Is there any explanation?"
*My eyes? NO! My eyes are like his, same color, same......*
"I'm not sure, there was such an influx of different forms of magic and the broken wand, well....I'm not sure what's happened to her."
Quiet. *Let it last. Go away, leave me alone. He _left_ me, he was the only one. _Hate_ him*
"Did she have, er, any other abilities before the accident?"
A whisper. "Yes, she was......gifted. Her mind was always very strong."
"You mean with psychic tendencies?"
"N-no, it wasn't just that. She was different. It wasn't her fault, she's special."
"Her eyes, not to mention her mind and her body, will probably never recover. You should realize that."
Sobbing. "They were so lovely, gray, deep gray."
"Y-you don't know what color they are anymore?"
"They're not _any_ color anymore. I've never seen anything like it. I'm been scouring through books but there is no explanation. It is purely a fluke."
Mappe opened her mouth to scream but nothing came out. Instead, a long, terrified wail sounded in her head. *No, no, no!! He left me, how _could_ he? I-I loved him.*
**************************************************************************** **
A Month Later
"So, she's finally leaving, huh?"
Lily sniffed. "I think that's terrible. She didn't deserve to have that happen." The red-haired girl shivered. "How horrible."
James looked sympathetically at her and wrapped her in a warm hug.
"She'll be all right. She'll be with her parents, they're really decent people as far as I could see."
Sirius was watching another member of the tight-knit group as they made their way into the castle from the Quidditch Pitch.
"Hey uh, Remus? You okay?"
Remus, who'd been staring off into space, looked at his friend with a deep sadness in his eyes. "Sure Sirius. I'm fine."
No one looked like they believed him.
Lily stepped forward and reached out a hand but Remus backed away. Sirius was shocked. Remus _never_ acted that way with Lily, or anyone for that matter.
"I-it wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. Oh Remus, you could've died, or ended up......"
"Like Mappe?" Remus' tone was bitter, laced with regret.
Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, Moony, she was a bit off from the beginning. I'm not trying to sound insensitive or anything but-"
Remus scowled at his friend and stomped off, muttering under his breath something about catching up with them later.
James sighed and ran a hand through his already wild hair. "Is he going to act like this during Graduation?"
Lily stared after wizard's retreating form. "He blames himself. Poor Remus, and poor Mappe for that matter. I feel terrible for her. But," her green eyes hardened, "as badly as I feel, it was not worth it for Remus to risk his life like that. He came so close."
James nodded. "He'll be all right. I'm sure he'll snap out of it. Uh, anyone know where he's headed?"
Sirius glanced at his best friend in frustration. "Back to the hospital wing. Mappe hasn't said one word since the accident but Remus has gone there at least once a week to try and speak to her. I wish he would give it up. Like I said, that girl wasn't fully there in the first place."
Lily glared at Sirius. "You've never liked her and it's not because she's a Slytherin. What's wrong with you, Padfoot?"
Sirius sighed deeply. "I-I don't know. I just don't _trust_ her. She honestly gives me the creeps and the way she acts towards Remus makes me, um, nervous."
James rolled his eyes. "Quit being so overprotective and let Moony take care of himself. He's fine, let's eat, I'm starved."
Remus Lupin, in the meantime, was sitting in his old spot by Mappe's bed, staring at her bruised, vacant face and those unbelievable eyes.
They were luminescent, swirling, just.....unreal. Startling didn't begin to cover it. But they never registered anything.
Remus smoothed his patched robes around him and cleared his throat. "Mappe?" No answer, there never was.
Remus felt wracked with guilt, looking at her lying there, so helpless.
"I'm really sorry. I should've tried harder. You'll be all right, though. You get to go home. Take care, I'm sorry." Remus said again and stood to leave, his heart heavy.
Suddenly, a thin, claw-like hand reached out and grasped his wrist with surprising strength. Remus nearly yelled in shock.
"Liar" Mappe hissed at him, absolute hatred twisting her face so that she resembled a harpy.
Remus stared back at her.......into those eyes.
"Remus"
Nothing. He felt, weird. Odd, detached but calm, very calm.
Remus' thoughts began to slow down, his head spinning. He felt good, almost euphoric.
"I know what you are."
He didn't care. So she knew? Didn't matter.
"I loved you, you know that? I still do.....I can make you forget. Don't you want to forget, Remus? I can feel your pain, it's wonderful, I've never felt anything like it. Don't you want to give it to me, leave yourself behind."
"Leave....behind" Remus' gray eyes were totally empty as he stared at Mappe. He didn't register anything but her words, soft and sweet.
"Forget the pain, forget everything and come with me."
"Forget....yes, want to, forget."
Mappe stood up and still holding Remus' wrist quietly led him out of the door.
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