Love Formula ~ Hate ~
~ Part 2 ~
By Azusa-J
Thanks Nancy K (Yup, this is a little bit different than the usual 1+2/2+1 fic), Kami (Don't worry, next chapter will be out soon), Autum (Thanks for the tips. I'm really sucks in English. I've fixed those errors and I learned something too. Thanks again), Hiro no miko, and Jessica (of course, just wait and see) for the reviews. Arigatou!
Date: March 28, 2002
Disclaimer: *grabs a Hee-chan plushie* Kawaii! Kawaii!! *puts it back down and sighs* but they are not mine... Everything in the Gundam Wing Universe is not mine.
Time setting: TWT
Warnings: Romance, Shounen-ai, maybe mild angst, POV (?)
Feedback : Yes, definitely! Please send it to azusaj@gundamwing.net
Pairings: 1+2/2+1 (Just Shounen Ai)
Rating: PG-13 [Not sure, for shounen-ai, is it right?]
Notes : This is my first attempt for a Shounen ai fic, so please be gentle. Anything bad? Please tell me. Other than some humor behind-the-scene twists fics, I love some safehouse-boys'-lives fics. This is the first one. Grand opening!! PS. I've only learned English for a few years. I've tried my best on the grammar and spellings. If you find any thing bad, feel free to tell me.
Final Warning: Shounen ai alert! Don't read if you're homophobic!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the Japanese boy went out to the living room, he sighed inwardly, 'What did I do now? Why did I call him 'baka' again?' His heart ached again.
Heero understood his feelings towards to noisy American. He knew that he was in love with him. But what he did not understand was why. 'Since when did I start to feel attracted to him?' he asked himself. And his mind traced back to the time they met. All the memories were as fresh as yesterday's. When he tried to kill Relena at the dock, when Duo came free him from the Alliance hospital, when he brought him and his Gundam to Howard's salvage ship...
'Probably at that time or so,' he thought. 'Or maybe not... I'm not really sure myself. First I envied him. How could he be so happy and carefree when he has to be a soldier, a Gundam pilot, participating in a war? I've tried to open myself up, but all the trainings kicked back. I have been trained to be a heartless killing machine and all emotions are not necessary for they are nothing but mere obstacles to the missions. How can he have all those killings and still has a happy-go-lucky humourous life?'
'I then became admire him after I did some research on him. Not surprising, of course I have to investigate my comrades' identities before join them and live together in the safehouses. Honestly, I was surprised when I discovered he was an orphan lived on the street. Who would have guessed that happy guy is an orphan? The more I find out about him, the more I admire and respect him. After I learned about the Maxwell Church incident, I was completely shocked. Nothing on him can tell that he suffered that much! How can he hide all those sorrow inside and put on that joker mask he wears right now?'
Just then, Duo came out from the kitchen with his half-eaten apple in his hand. He walked straight to their bedroom and closed the door behind him immediately. Heero could only see his back. Nothing usual, his braid still swinging at his back as he walk. Another usual day. However, if Heero saw his face, he would know that something was terrible wrong. Sadly, he did not.
After the bedroom door was shut, Heero looked down at his laptop. He had not typed a single word after he came back from the kitchen. Of course, when he started thinking about the braided boy, he could not do anything, literally. That's why he constantly ignored or called Duo as "baka" or to "shut up" in order for him not to get distracted. But everytime he ignored the American, his heart ached and wanted so badly to look up to those violet eyes. Every "baka" he called was a dragger stabbed right into his heart. But he could not stop ignoring or calling names to the braided boy. Why? It was just because he was a Perfect Soldier.
'Perfect Soldier? Perfect Soldier shouldn't feel any love or attraction, right?' He asked himself quietly, 'Then why do I love him? And since when I started to love him?' He shoke his head, pushing the thought about the braided boy away and started typing on his laptop again. Quickly finished the report and sent it to Doctor J, he shut down the laptop and stared at the blinked screen, thinking about Duo again.
'I started to lost my self-control since we moved into the safehouse. I don't know was that fate or not to share a room with him. At first, I hated it. To share a room with that noisy boy was like a hell to me. Then, lately, I think it is a bliss. I can be closer to him. I can know him more and look at him through the corner of my eyes without him noticing. I am lucky that he never noticed, otherwise, I don't know how am I supposed to answer. Of course I can't say I love him, can I?' He smiled bitterly.
'Actually, I didn't know my feelings until that mission, when he was captured. The others were panic and I was just horrorified. All I want to do was to rescue him and blow that damn OZ base up. I was so devastated and almost lost it. How much I wish it was me being captured instead? How much I blamed myself not protecting him back then? The others didn't seem to notice my true feelings, just thinking I was frustrated because of the mission failure, which was really a bliss. I don't want anyone to know my feelings, even myself.'
'But from that time on, I know that from admiration and respect, my feelings towards him had somehow turned into love. I admit that I had a hard time finding my true feelings for him. I've never thought I was gay [1]. Although I've never been in any form of relationship before, I still don't think my sexual preference is that - I'm gay. After struggling about it for almost a week, that was the longest and toughest battle I've been, facing hundreds of mobile suits may be a bit easier, I finally come up with the solution, I love him, whether he is a boy or girl. I love Duo Maxwell with my life.' Heero had a slight smile on his lips at that confession. 'Yes, I love him.'
'But I can't tell him ne? Just like what J always said, 'emotions are nothing but mere obstacle to the mission.' I can't let him know. Our relationship will be a liability to our missions.'
Even though after that Duo captured incident, he knew his true feelings, he did not show any affairs towards towards Duo. Rather, he called Duo "baka" and ignored him even more than before. These acts were killing him inside, but he had to do them, so that he reminded himself that mission was the priority to anything and everything.
Heero looked around, the living room was so quiet. Deep inside, he loved to accompany Duo, who would always bring some joyful yet sometimes annoying talking. He chuckled, yes, annoying but yet he loved to hear them. 'People used to say when one's in love, he will love everything of his lover, even his defects. Guess now I actually enjoy his incessant talking.'
Wanted to hear Duo again, Heero slowly stood up and walked towards their bedroom with his injured leg. As he opened the door...
~tsuzuku~
[1] Sorry, no offence to homosexual relationship there. I just read so many interviews or surveys about the homosexual relationships and find out that many people face that problem too. Remember, no offence, k?
Azusa: Sorry for all those babblings. Now it looks like a POV fics, doesn't it? I hate all those in-love-at-the-first-sight things. There isn't such a thing in real life. Well, maybe opposite attracts, but there always reasons behind every relationship, right? And I love the way the authors delevop the personalities of each characters. So this romance fics is NOT going to be OOC. Those original characteristics are more easy to write with anyways. As always, feel free to tell me how you think about it.
~ Part 2 ~
By Azusa-J
Thanks Nancy K (Yup, this is a little bit different than the usual 1+2/2+1 fic), Kami (Don't worry, next chapter will be out soon), Autum (Thanks for the tips. I'm really sucks in English. I've fixed those errors and I learned something too. Thanks again), Hiro no miko, and Jessica (of course, just wait and see) for the reviews. Arigatou!
Date: March 28, 2002
Disclaimer: *grabs a Hee-chan plushie* Kawaii! Kawaii!! *puts it back down and sighs* but they are not mine... Everything in the Gundam Wing Universe is not mine.
Time setting: TWT
Warnings: Romance, Shounen-ai, maybe mild angst, POV (?)
Feedback : Yes, definitely! Please send it to azusaj@gundamwing.net
Pairings: 1+2/2+1 (Just Shounen Ai)
Rating: PG-13 [Not sure, for shounen-ai, is it right?]
Notes : This is my first attempt for a Shounen ai fic, so please be gentle. Anything bad? Please tell me. Other than some humor behind-the-scene twists fics, I love some safehouse-boys'-lives fics. This is the first one. Grand opening!! PS. I've only learned English for a few years. I've tried my best on the grammar and spellings. If you find any thing bad, feel free to tell me.
Final Warning: Shounen ai alert! Don't read if you're homophobic!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the Japanese boy went out to the living room, he sighed inwardly, 'What did I do now? Why did I call him 'baka' again?' His heart ached again.
Heero understood his feelings towards to noisy American. He knew that he was in love with him. But what he did not understand was why. 'Since when did I start to feel attracted to him?' he asked himself. And his mind traced back to the time they met. All the memories were as fresh as yesterday's. When he tried to kill Relena at the dock, when Duo came free him from the Alliance hospital, when he brought him and his Gundam to Howard's salvage ship...
'Probably at that time or so,' he thought. 'Or maybe not... I'm not really sure myself. First I envied him. How could he be so happy and carefree when he has to be a soldier, a Gundam pilot, participating in a war? I've tried to open myself up, but all the trainings kicked back. I have been trained to be a heartless killing machine and all emotions are not necessary for they are nothing but mere obstacles to the missions. How can he have all those killings and still has a happy-go-lucky humourous life?'
'I then became admire him after I did some research on him. Not surprising, of course I have to investigate my comrades' identities before join them and live together in the safehouses. Honestly, I was surprised when I discovered he was an orphan lived on the street. Who would have guessed that happy guy is an orphan? The more I find out about him, the more I admire and respect him. After I learned about the Maxwell Church incident, I was completely shocked. Nothing on him can tell that he suffered that much! How can he hide all those sorrow inside and put on that joker mask he wears right now?'
Just then, Duo came out from the kitchen with his half-eaten apple in his hand. He walked straight to their bedroom and closed the door behind him immediately. Heero could only see his back. Nothing usual, his braid still swinging at his back as he walk. Another usual day. However, if Heero saw his face, he would know that something was terrible wrong. Sadly, he did not.
After the bedroom door was shut, Heero looked down at his laptop. He had not typed a single word after he came back from the kitchen. Of course, when he started thinking about the braided boy, he could not do anything, literally. That's why he constantly ignored or called Duo as "baka" or to "shut up" in order for him not to get distracted. But everytime he ignored the American, his heart ached and wanted so badly to look up to those violet eyes. Every "baka" he called was a dragger stabbed right into his heart. But he could not stop ignoring or calling names to the braided boy. Why? It was just because he was a Perfect Soldier.
'Perfect Soldier? Perfect Soldier shouldn't feel any love or attraction, right?' He asked himself quietly, 'Then why do I love him? And since when I started to love him?' He shoke his head, pushing the thought about the braided boy away and started typing on his laptop again. Quickly finished the report and sent it to Doctor J, he shut down the laptop and stared at the blinked screen, thinking about Duo again.
'I started to lost my self-control since we moved into the safehouse. I don't know was that fate or not to share a room with him. At first, I hated it. To share a room with that noisy boy was like a hell to me. Then, lately, I think it is a bliss. I can be closer to him. I can know him more and look at him through the corner of my eyes without him noticing. I am lucky that he never noticed, otherwise, I don't know how am I supposed to answer. Of course I can't say I love him, can I?' He smiled bitterly.
'Actually, I didn't know my feelings until that mission, when he was captured. The others were panic and I was just horrorified. All I want to do was to rescue him and blow that damn OZ base up. I was so devastated and almost lost it. How much I wish it was me being captured instead? How much I blamed myself not protecting him back then? The others didn't seem to notice my true feelings, just thinking I was frustrated because of the mission failure, which was really a bliss. I don't want anyone to know my feelings, even myself.'
'But from that time on, I know that from admiration and respect, my feelings towards him had somehow turned into love. I admit that I had a hard time finding my true feelings for him. I've never thought I was gay [1]. Although I've never been in any form of relationship before, I still don't think my sexual preference is that - I'm gay. After struggling about it for almost a week, that was the longest and toughest battle I've been, facing hundreds of mobile suits may be a bit easier, I finally come up with the solution, I love him, whether he is a boy or girl. I love Duo Maxwell with my life.' Heero had a slight smile on his lips at that confession. 'Yes, I love him.'
'But I can't tell him ne? Just like what J always said, 'emotions are nothing but mere obstacle to the mission.' I can't let him know. Our relationship will be a liability to our missions.'
Even though after that Duo captured incident, he knew his true feelings, he did not show any affairs towards towards Duo. Rather, he called Duo "baka" and ignored him even more than before. These acts were killing him inside, but he had to do them, so that he reminded himself that mission was the priority to anything and everything.
Heero looked around, the living room was so quiet. Deep inside, he loved to accompany Duo, who would always bring some joyful yet sometimes annoying talking. He chuckled, yes, annoying but yet he loved to hear them. 'People used to say when one's in love, he will love everything of his lover, even his defects. Guess now I actually enjoy his incessant talking.'
Wanted to hear Duo again, Heero slowly stood up and walked towards their bedroom with his injured leg. As he opened the door...
~tsuzuku~
[1] Sorry, no offence to homosexual relationship there. I just read so many interviews or surveys about the homosexual relationships and find out that many people face that problem too. Remember, no offence, k?
Azusa: Sorry for all those babblings. Now it looks like a POV fics, doesn't it? I hate all those in-love-at-the-first-sight things. There isn't such a thing in real life. Well, maybe opposite attracts, but there always reasons behind every relationship, right? And I love the way the authors delevop the personalities of each characters. So this romance fics is NOT going to be OOC. Those original characteristics are more easy to write with anyways. As always, feel free to tell me how you think about it.