Not a Ghost of A Chance

Pietro Maximoff was bored.

Oh sure he was enjoying his newfound status as Bayville's academic elite. Lording it over Evan and the other members of the X-Men that didn't make the cut to meet the governor was always fun. But for some reason it wasn't as satisfying as he thought it would be. Truth was he was always intelligent and did reasonably well in class, only goofing off just enough to be 'one of the guys'. Tests were easy to him. Just write in paragraphs whatever the bozos reading the stupid essays would want to hear. Anyone could do that. And Evan, well…he was never exactly gifted in the academic department so that wasn't really much of a challenge after all. And Pietro Maximoff lived for challenges.

He even went as far as to publicly post Evan's low score all over the school thanks to a little help from Arcade. True that was fun, but still unsatisfying. He needed something to do. Something that required a challenge. Something that would really annoy Evan and the X-Geeks as well as torment Kelly. Some way to use his talents and brains to get the entire school talking. Then it came to him. It was so simple really. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before.

All he had to do was start a rumor.

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Two days later Kelly was relaxing in the teacher's lounge, enjoying some quiet time. Nothing strange had happened at Bayville High for two entire days. Kelly prayed his luck would hold at least until after the governor's visit.

That luck quickly changed when he saw a shaken science teacher walk into the teacher's lounge. "Principal Kelly!"

"Now what?" Kelly groaned.

"I know why this school is constantly plagued with trouble!" Mr. Danders told him. "Ghosts!"

"Ghosts?" Kelly sighed.

"Well how else can you explain it?" Danders asked. "I've been hearing rumors about several students killed when Bayville High was being built."

"Oh really," Kelly raised an eyebrow. "Last I heard it was because Bayville was built on an ancient Indian burial ground."

"Well whatever the reason you have to admit it makes sense!" Danders said.

"Mr. Danders you are a science teacher," Kelly said.

"So? That doesn't mean that the paranormal doesn't exist!"

Oh great, Kelly thought. Another X-Files fanatic. Instead he said, "I just don't think it's a good idea to base a theory on rumors circulated by students."

"Well then how do you explain all the earthquakes and those monsters in the gym?" Danders asked. "And the demon sightings? Huh? And all that slime we keep finding everywhere? Ectoplasm!"

"Well before we go calling the Ghostbusters I'd like to see some proof!" Kelly snapped.

Twenty minutes later Kelly was in Danders science class. "I can't believe I am actually allowing this," He grumbled. "I'm not even sure this is even legal!"

There was Pietro sitting up front with an oujia board. "Oh come on Kelly, what have you got to lose?"

"My job, my reputation…" Kelly moaned. "Huge amounts of cash from parents who might want to sue me."

"Are you sure this will work in the daylight?" Danders asked.

"Sure," Pietro smiled. "Ghosts walk around during the day too!"

"This ought to be good," Lance snickered with the rest of the Brotherhood in the back.

"This is ridiculous," One student folded her arms. "There are no such things as ghosts."

"Quiet!" Pietro snapped. "You will disturb the spirits!"

"You'll disturb something all right," Kelly muttered under his breath.

"Oh spirits," Pietro chanted. "If you can hear us, give us a sign!"

That was Lance's cue to make a small earthquake. Immediately everyone in class started to shriek. "No such things as ghosts huh?" One kid shouted.

"I'm sorry!" The doubting student screamed. "I'm sorry! Forgive me!"

Another quake caused more screams. "I'm outta here!" Danders screamed and ran off. "I'm gonna go join the marines!"

Kelly ran down the hallway along with several other students. "Calm down everybody there is no need to panic! There is no need to…" He slipped on something and fell on his butt. To his horror there was green slime on the floor and dripping from several lockers. "NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC!"

He went to his office, oblivious of the laughter of the Brotherhood. He went to the office and started dialing on the phone. "Screw the separation of church and state what we need is an exorcist! Hello? Reverend Felcher? Do you do exorcisms? You do? Good! We need you over here at Bayville High! Don't give me that this is an emergency! No I have not been drinking! Yes. Yes. I am serious. I swear we have a ghost problem! Well what else would you call green slime in the hallways and monster and demon sightings? Not to mention those earthquakes that happen for no reason? Yes. We also have exploding vending machines too. Yes I am serious. No they weren't rumors they are real. I don't know some of this started before I became principal but lately it's been getting worse! Fine. Three O'clock this afternoon. Oh and if you can bring anyone else who's an expert in this subject I'll be grateful. Goodbye."

"Okay," Kelly got the phone book. "Now I'll just call every church or religious center I can find to see if anyone else knows about exorcisms. Might as well cover all the bases. I wonder if Rabbis can get rid of ghosts? Only one way to find out…" He started to make more calls.