Paybacks
Chapter 21 Revised
******
Italics Denotes Bosco's thoughts Bold denotes Faith's thoughts
*****
Perspiration started to bead on his forehead. His hand began to sweat as he tightly gripped the handle of his gun. Don't wuss out now Boscorelli. This is the only way. God, please don't let Faith be the one who finds me. On the N in one. Three…two…The muscles in his arm tensed as he slowly moved his finger on the trigger o-
"Bosco!" Faith had opened the door.
He quickly tried to pull the gun out of his mouth before she saw him, but it was too late. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" She quickly closed the door behind her, so the officers in the other room wouldn't hear what was going on.
"Get outta here Faith!" He rested the gun on his knee, and refused to look at her. Damn it! Now what? She saw me. I blew it!
"That's not going to solve anything," she scolded.
"Yeah it will. It solves the whole problem! Can't you see that? This guy can't kill me if I'm already dead."
"Bosco how could you even think of killing yourself?" Her voice was softer now as she realized yelling at him in this situation probably wasn't a good idea. He still had his gun. She sat next to him. He still hadn't looked at her. "Give me the gun Bos."
"Come on Faith," he tried to chuckle. "It's not like I'm going to do it with you in the room. What kinda person do you think I am? I wouldn't put you through that."
"Oh, what? Now you're concerned about what you'd be putting me through. You won't blow your brains out with me in the room! How thoughtful. But did it cross your mind that if you did it without me in the room it would still scar me for life? Did you think how this would affect me? Or were you just being selfish?"
"Yeah I thought about you," he said softly. "Why do you think I was doing it?" He added.
"What?! So you're saying I drove you to this!"
"No! It was my way of protecting you! This way you wouldn't be in the line of fire!" He looked at her for the first time. A look of shame on his face. "I didn't know what else to do. It's the only way Faith."
"Knowing the way you feel about people who try to 'dust' themselves. I never pictured you as the type to eat your own gun." She paused, pointed at his gun, and beckoned for it with her hand. He gave her the gun. "After what you saw Hobart go through I can't believe you wouldn't come to me for help." She stood up. "Come on," she said gruffly, "the detectives want to talk to you."
Faith was frightened by what she had seen, but she had moved beyond all other emotions, and was now angry. She was so angry she almost hated him right now. He had done and said a lot of stupid things since they'd been partners, but today he reached an all-time low.
Bosco stood, and followed her out of the room. "You feeling all right Boscorelli?" asked Don when he saw Bosco.
"Yeah. I guess. Why?"
"Well, you're sweating, and you're kinda pale."
"Gee Don. You would be too if you were going through what he is!" Faith had come to Bosco's rescue. "Give him a break."
Bosco looked at Faith, and mouthed the words "thank you." She just glared at him.
Hank, the other detective, spoke up. "We're going to move you to a hotel. It'll be easier to protect you there."
"Faith should go home."
"Bosco I'm not leaving you. Especially not after this morning." She gave him a knowing look that only the two of them understood.
*****
"Now this is more like it." They had walked into the biggest, plushest hotel suite Bosco had ever seen. "Man, I thought these types of places were only in movies. Why exactly were we in that dump in the first place?"
Faith just looked at Bosco, an annoyed look on her face. She hadn't spoken to him since they had left the safe house. Tension filled the room.
Bosco knew she was angry, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to fix what he had done. "Faith, would you at least say something?"
"You're an arrogant, selfish son of a bitch! Oh, and you're a coward too!"
"OK that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but it's a start."
"After what happened earlier I don't know how you could expect anything else!"
"Faith you just don't understand."
"You're right. I don't! So make me understand! I'll give just about anything to know what's going on in your head."
Bosco shook his head from side to side. "Not now Faith."
"Not now?! Then when Bosco?!" She was standing with her arms at her sides, fists clenched.
"Let's just drop it. No need to make a big deal out of it. I'm still here."
"It is a big deal Bosco! If I hadn't walked in when I did-." She couldn't finish her sentence it was too hard to think that he could be dead if her timing hadn't been just right. "I'm never gonna be able to erase what I saw from my memory! How could you even think about it?! Why won't you talk to me?!"
"I'm sorry you saw that Faith, but I won't apologize for what I was going to do. I made a promise." He was irritated. Why couldn't she just drop it for now?
"A promise? About what? To who?"
"Faith just give it a rest. I don't want to talk about it!"
"You're such a coward! Are you ever going to stop running from your problems?"
"I wasn't running! I was going to solve this one!"
"Lousy solution!"
Bosco sat down on the couch. "Faith I don't want to talk about it right now." He looked at her. She was sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, as far away from her partner as possible without leaving the room. "Right now I just want to try and get some sleep before our shift." He stood up.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"To the bedroom." Duh!
"Not by yourself you're not."
"What?"
"After this morning you think I'm going to let you go anywhere by yourself?"
"Faith---"
"Don't start! You can either stay out here on the couch, or I'm coming in there with you."
"I'm not going to do anything Faith!"
"Do you really think I'm going to believe anything you say?"
"Fine! But I'm going into the bedroom."
Faith stood up, and followed him. A king size bed took up most of the room. Bosco pulled back the covers. There wasn't a chair in the room, so Faith sat down on the floor.
Bosco looked at her. "It's a big bed Faith. You don't have to sit on the floor." She didn't move. "Suit yourself." He climbed in under the covers.
Bosco lay on his back staring up at the ceiling. He tried to close his eyes, but all he could see was the look of horror that had been on his partner's face when she had interrupted his attempt at suicide. Damn. I just fuck up one thing after another. Can't manage to kill myself, but I managed to screw up my relationship with Faith. If she tells Lieu about this I can kiss my career good bye too. They'll think I'm unstable, and can't do my job. Hell they already think I'm borderline anyway. What am I worrying about? If this guy finishes me off today there's no need for a job. He rolled onto his side. His back to Faith.
God Bosco. What the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? It's been over an hour since it happened, and I can't get past the terror that I felt when I saw him sitting there; eyes closed with his gun in his mouth. How am I ever going to get over that image? I'm just so thankful he didn't pull the trigger when I came in. I'm so mad at him, but he must be in an incredible amount of pain to even think that suicide could be the solution. I'm afraid to let him out of my sight. I'm sure he thinks I'm being too harsh, but what if I leave him alone and he finds some other way of killing himself. I don' want to lose him. She leaned her head on the wall.
I don't think she's ever going to forgive me. Why should she? Man, I can feel her looking at me. She's practically burning a hole through me with her eyes. If she decides to stay as my partner she'll probably never take her eyes off of me. Maybe that's the solution…a new partner. Nah, we've tried that before. Never works.
He rolled back over to find Faith still looking at him just like he figured she was. She looked worn out. "Faith, there's plenty of room. You need to try and get some sleep. I'll even sleep on top of the covers."
"I'm fine."
"No you're not. You're tired. We were up at four in the morning, and we didn't get to bed very early." She just looked at him. "Faith I know you're pissed, but you still need to sleep. You don't have to watch over me right now. I told you, I'm fine."
"Can I trust that you aren't going to sneak off when I fall asleep?"
"Yes."
Faith went to the other side of the bed, and crawled underneath the covers. He was right she was tired. Bosco turned to look at her. "Do I have to sleep on top of the covers? I only said that to be nice." He grinned.
She rolled her eyes. "No, you're fine."
*****
When they arrived at the station later that afternoon Bosco and Faith still hadn't said much to each other. Bosco wanted to try to forget that the whole thing happened, but Faith wasn't going to let it slide. How could she? He was going to kill himself.
Bosco pulled Faith aside just before they entered roll call. "You aren't going to tell Lieu are you?" There was a trace of panic in his voice.
"I don't know Bos."
"Please Faith. Help me out here."
"You need help Bosco. Maybe I should tell him."
"I don't need that kind of help Faith!" he was trying not to yell.
"No? Then what do you need?"
"I need to get back out there. I need to do my job, and catch this bastard who's threatening me!"
"All right. Fine. I won't tell him, but if at any point tonight I feel you're a threat to yourself I swear I'll turn you in!"
"Deal. So that means you're still gonna ride with me?"
"Yeah. Now come on or we're going to be late."
After roll call they headed to their squad. Bosco stopped at the front bumper. Faith walked up beside him. "Bos?"
"I don't want this to be my last shift Faith." He looked at her.
She put her hand on his shoulder. "You sure you want to work today?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"OK. Let's roll."
The partners climbed into the car, and drove off to begin their shift. Neither one of them said anything for a few blocks. Finally Bosco couldn't take it anymore. "Faith. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to destroy what we have."
She turned to look at him as he drove. He continued to talk as he watched the road. "I'm still not ready to tell you about it, but I want you to know that I will someday." He glanced at her. She nodded, and her anger seemed to lift. He let out a sigh of relief.
*****
The day had been going well for Faith and Bosco. Both of them were nervous thinking about the threat in the note Bosco had received that morning, but it didn't stop them from doing their jobs. They just made sure that their heads were on a swivel. It was around seven o'clock when a truck squealed its tires, and pulled out in front of them.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Hey, isn't that Fred's truck?"
"Yeah."
"Man, he's swerving pretty bad. We have to pull him over Faith."
"I know." She flipped on the lights, and the siren.
As soon as he pulled over Bosco looked at Faith. "I'll do it. You've already arrested him once. It's my turn to piss him off."
"Fine with me," she sighed. "I'll call it in."
Bosco hopped out of the car, ticket book in hand. He had a huge grin on his face, and he was laughing. This was the best he had felt in a long time. He was going to have to thank Fred for bringing him such enjoyment.
"5-5 David to Central. We have a 10-82, possible DUI." She then gave the license plate number.
"One moment 5-5 David…David that vehicle was reported stolen by a Fred Yokas."
Faith's head shot up. Bosco was just approaching the driver's window. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach. Faith grabbed her radio. "Bosco get outta there!"
He turned to look at her. Faith saw the driver of the vehicle point something at Bosco. "BOSCO LOOK OUT!" But it was too late. BANG, BANG, BANG. Three shots rang out, and Bosco staggered backward before falling to the pavement.