Author: BethCarielle
Rating: PG-13 Some language.
Genre: Drama/Angst
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from The Invisible Man or from The X-Files. My characters are mine alone.
E-Mail: Bethcarielle@yahoo.com
Author's Note: This story idea was plaguing me. I had to write it down before it drove me nuts. I know it's sad. Sorry.
Chapter One: A Daughter's DeathDarien was scared. Scared for himself, for Claire, and for the baby. The baby. He still couldn't believe it. How was it possible he had become a father? Where in fate's cards had that come from? He knew how it happened, obviously, but why was completely beyond him.
Right now Claire had finally fallen asleep, after she had made him promise on his grave that he would wake her if anything changed with Laria. Laria Rose. It was a beautiful name he and Claire had picked out months ago. Laria for a girl, Kevin Mason, in memory of his brother and father, if it was a boy.
Darien was pacing the aisle next to Laria's incubator. She was so tiny and frail. Claire had gone in to labor three months early. The doctor had tried everything to try and stop the contractions but their daughter was insistent on making an entrance. She was currently in critical condition.
Darien's mind was swimming with questions. 'Would she breath on her own? Would there be brain damage? Would she end up blind or deaf?' And the darkest of all, 'How would he and Claire survive if she died?' He didn't want to think about it, but it kept coming back into his mind. He was sure the same thoughts permeated Claire's mind.
Darien finally sat down in the chair next to the incubator, looking at his premature daughter. He thought back to the events that led to her existence, they were unlikely as any he supposed.
It had been a normal day at the Agency, he and Hobbes were assigned a mission to go and make the world safe for democracy once more. They had successfully completed their mission, but not without obtaining a few sprains and cuts. They had gone down to the Keep so Claire could patch them up.
Bobby had been anxious to get back to the prisoners they had taken so he could help interrogate them. Darien wasn't into the idea of moving because it would aggravate the muscles he had pulled. He declined Bobby's offer to go with him and stayed in the Keep.
Claire had gone back to her computer, working on what ever it was she was perpetually working on. Darien had been sitting on the examining chair, staring off in to space. Claire stopped typing and stretched, turning around as she did so. That's when she saw Darien.
"Did you need something Darien?" she asked.
Darien was startled out of his thoughts, and quickly remembered where he was.
"Uhh, no, Claire. Just resting. What are you working on?" he said, trying to start a conversation.
"Oh, just the usual. Trying to find a way to remove the gland."
"Ah. Any luck?" asked Darien hopefully.
"No, sorry, not yet." She said with remorse.
"That's ok, I'm not going anywhere." He said trying to lighten the mood.
Claire let a little smile come across her face. He loved it when she smiled. She was beautiful, but true to Hobbes' words, 'You don't fish off the company pier, my friend.'.
Darien let out a sigh, and considered whether or not he would be able to make it back to his apartment and into bed. He never considered that he might end up sharing it with Claire.
They had continued their conversation for quite some time, until about 11:00pm At that time, Darien was starving, he assumed Claire hadn't eaten for a while either.
"Hey Claire, do you want to go get something to eat?"
"Sure, I'm starving. Where do you want to go?"
"There's a place with good sandwiches near my place."
"Ok, sounds good."
So in Claire's car they drove to the bar as it turned out. Claire hadn't been thrilled with the idea of it being a bar also, but she decided it would be ok. They sat down at an out of the way table and ordered.
Claire surprised Darien by ordering a gin and tonic. Darien took the liberty to order one also. After enough drinks to make them tipsy, Darien suggested that they go back to his place and Claire could crash on his couch, instead of trying to drive home. Claire agreed since she knew she shouldn't drive. Darien and Claire started back to his place, which fortunately was only two blocks away.
When they finally made it back to his place Darien figured some coffee would be a good idea. He sat Claire down on the couch, and went into the kitchen to start the coffee. When it was finished he brought Claire a cup. She sipped it gratefully and relaxed on the couch. Darien had sat down next to her, not too close, but not so far away either.
As they let the coffee help counter act some of the alcohol they continued talking. Claire had by now told Darien almost everything, and Darien had done the same. They had also moved closer to one another. Darien couldn't remember who had made the first move, but someone had.
Kissing Claire was as good as Darien had imagined it would be.
Darien carefully stood and picked her up somehow without breaking the kiss they were sharing. He then carried her to his bed. There were few words spoken, everything was shared through touch and expressions. That night was the most glorious Darien could remember.
The next morning Darien woke first, surprised to feel a body next to his. Then he remembered the previous night. His first thought was of what Claire's reaction was going to be. She wasn't his wife, girlfriend or lover. She was his Keeper. He was shocked himself and wasn't sure how he felt.
Just then Claire awoke. She stretched and rolled over so she was looking him in the face. Darien was unable to read her expression.
"Darien…." She said quietly.
"Yeah…." He said equally as quiet.
"You realize that….well, you know that we can't….oh Darien. What have we done?" she murmured slightly remorsefully.
Claire's thoughts mirrored his own.
"I know….we can't….we work together, you're my Keeper." He said equally unsure of himself.
Then, with that unspoken agreement they got up, showered, dressed and Darien walked Claire back to where her car was still parked. With a quick good-bye kiss Claire drove home.
Darien walked slowly to his apartment, letting the gentle breeze clear his mind. What kind of awkward position was this going to create? He couldn't avoid her, he didn't want too. Darien spent the rest of the day pondering the events of the previous night.
It was about three weeks later, after neither of them had mentioned that night, that Darien had come down to the Keep for his weekly shot of counteragent. Claire was obviously preoccupied. She gave him the shot automatically, a far away look on her face.
"Claire?" Darien questioned.
"Hmm, yes, Darien? Did you need something else?"
"Is everything all right? You seem a little out of it."
"Oh, well, I'm fine. Well not fine, fine." She said, mumbling the last part.
"What do you mean not fine, fine?"
"Well, it's probably nothing."
"What's probably nothing?" Darien said, growing concerned.
"I'm……I'm , I'm late."
"Late?" now Darien was confused.
"You know, late, as in late, late. Like once a month late." Claire didn't want to admit it to herself.
"Oh! Late, as in……you're pregnant?" said Darien incredulously. "Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure."
"So, this was, umm, from that night?"
"It has to be."
Darien's mind had started racing then and hadn't stopped.
A sudden shrill beeping broke him away from his memories. He immediately looked at the monitors surrounding Laria. It wasn't her, it was a different baby in the nursery. Nurses and technicians quickly surrounded that incubator. Watching the nurses work on the other preemie, Darien's heart ached.
He turned his attention back to Laria. She was still in her sedative induced sleep. Neither Darien nor Claire had been allowed to hold her yet. The doctors did allow them to touch her though.
The other preemie had re-stablized and the nurses were returning to other duties. As one Darien knew passed, he asked, "Umm, Kathy, right?"
"Yes?" she responded.
"Can I touch her again?" Darien was afraid to touch the incubator, he didn't want to disrupt anything.
"Of course."
With that permission, the nurse went over to Laria's incubator and carefully opened one of the treatment panels.
"There you go. Don't worry, she'll stay warm."
Darien carefully went over to his daughter. Her arms were roughly the size of his fingers. He gently stroked the side of her face, avoiding the breathing tube and the tape keeping it in place. Her skin was soft and warm. Darien could easily trace the veins under her skin.
Darien didn't realize you could love another human being so much. He loved Claire, he loved Kevin, but he loved Laria so much it hurt.
Even though Darien knew the nurse said she wouldn't get cold, he thought she was. He quietly closed the panel. He stood and stretched. Seeing the clock on the wall he realized he had been sitting there for two hours. He told the nurse he was going to go back to Claire's room and that he would be back shortly.
Knocking lightly and opening the door at the same time Darien entered Claire's room. She was awake, but silent, clearly in deep thought.
"Claire?" he asked gently, not wanting to startle her.
"Darien. How's Laria?" she asked anxiously.
"She hasn't changed, still critical. How are you?"
"Ok, I guess."
Darien crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Do you want anything to eat?" he asked.
"I'm not hungry, Darien."
"Ok."
Darien didn't know what to say. They weren't a couple, they weren't "together", but they were more deeply connected than Darien had ever been to anyone else.
While struggling to find something to say there was a sharp knock on the door.
"Come in." said Claire said needlessly as the door opened.
"Mr. Fawkes, Ms. Rose, Laria just went into cardiac arrest. The doctor is with her now. You better come back to the nursery." Said the nurse, obviously distraught.
Helping Claire out of bed and handing her her robe Darien and Claire ran out of the room and down the hall to the nursery.
When they got there her incubator was surrounded by doctors and nurses. They were working hurriedly to try to restart her heart.
Claire had begun to cry, and Darien was trying hard not to. He was afraid his worst fear was being realized right in front of his eyes.
The cardiac monitor continued it's incessant beep. It was boring a hole right through Darien's heart. 'Please, please Laria, fight. You have to fight. Come on Laria.' He pleaded mentally while holding Claire. The look on Claire's face was one of impossible worry and fear.
The nurses and doctors had been working for almost 10 minutes now. 'Please don't give up on our little girl. She can make it. She has to.' Darien continued his mental litany, 'Come on Laria. Fight, please.'
Darien noticed the doctors were slowing down their pace. 'What are they doing?!' he thought, 'Keep working!'
One doctor reached up and clicked off the cardiac alarm.
"No!! What are you doing?! Why are you stopping?!" screamed Darien.
Claire was now inconsolable. She was mumbling Laria's name over and over.
"Keep working on her!" Darien shouted, "You have to keep working on her, I know she can make it!"
"Mr. Fawkes." Said the doctor gently. "Mr. Fawkes," she came closer, "we've tried everything. She's simply too underdeveloped. Her lungs weren't oxygenating well enough, even at 100% O2. Her brain shut down. She's gone. You have to let go."
"What the fuck do you mean let go!?! She's my daughter!"
"Darien," came Claire's strangled voice, "Darien.." she couldn't speak.
Darien went back to Claire and wrapped his arms around her. He began to cry as uncontrollably as she was.
"Ms. Rose?" asked another nurse gently. "Would you like to hold her? Say good-bye?"
Claire nodded through her tears and stood up, Darien right beside her. The nurse carefully removed their daughter from the incubator and other machines and wrapped her in a blanket and placed a tiny hat on her head, just as carefully as if she had still been alive.
Claire reached out and took her into her arms, cradling her gently. Looking down into the peaceful face Darien was unable to hold back tears once more. He hugged both of them close to him.
****
The funeral had been brief. Darien, Claire, Bobby and some of the nurses they had gotten to know were there. It was the most painful thing Darien had ever done. He thought burying his brother had been hard, but this was almost impossible.
Claire was crying, so was Bobby. Bobby hadn't even really gotten to see Laria, just once through the nursery window.
The little pinkish-white headstone they chose was glowing faintly in the fading sunlight. Inscribed on it was "Laria Rose Fawkes, April 8, 2001- April 12, 2001, "A beautiful little girl loved by all who met her. You are loved and will be missed.".
Darien had taken Claire home after that day. They had curled up on her couch, lost in each other's grief. They had stayed there for hours, not moving or speaking. It was the beginning of their recovery, slow and painful as it was.