Yay, Chapter 3 is done! I feel like it ends a little abruptly, but it'll flow into Chapter 4 quite nicely once I've posted it. And if I just combined the two chapters together, this would be, like, three times as long as every other chapter has been. So, ::shrugs:: whatever. I kinda vaguely like it. Let me know what you think, as usual. I love reviews (especially helpful, constructive ones)! Hopefully Chapter 4'll be finished and posted soon, as well.

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. They just come over to play occasionally.

Through My Blood

By Alison

Chapter Three: Change Your Mind

I awoke with a sense of determination. I knew how I felt about Mark; now I just had to figure out if he felt the same way. Only one way to know. Sighing contentedly, I rolled over in bed with a smile. The smile was quickly replaced by a frown, though, when I realized Mark was gone. Shit. I hoped that wasn't a bad omen.

From the kitchen came the muffled sounds of movement and activity -- he was making breakfast. Maybe he wanted to thank me for last night. Well, if he really wanted to thank me...

No, I wasn't going to think about that. Especially not now. Hell, I still technically had a girlfriend, and the one thing I'm definitely not is a cheater. The least I could do was have the decency to let Mimi down gently before hopping into bed with another guy.

Okay, slow down, Roger... you don't even know if he likes you like that yet.

But, he had to. I mean, first he licked my fingers, then he came to my room and practically fell all over me! It was all part of his plan, I was sure of it.

I pulled myself out of bed and trudged into the kitchen. Mark turned to greet my entrance with a smile. Here it comes, I thought smugly,his confession...

“Morning, Roge. Sleep well?”

“The best,” I answered in the best sexy-rock-star-voice I could muster.

“We're out of cereal,” Mark said , stirring sugar into a cup of coffee before handing it to me, “so I think I'm gonna run to the grocery store. Need anything?”

Wait, wait. Where was his declaration of undying love? Where was the storybook-perfect first kiss? “No, thanks,” I mumbled confusedly.

“Okay. Be back soon.” He flashed his adorable lopsided grin before disappearing from the room. A few moments later, the front door slammed shut as he left.

I sighed. He had acted like it was just a normal day. No romantic confessions, no wistful glances, not even any awkward, sexually charged silences. This wasn't at all how it was supposed to happen.

Was he playing hard to get? Yeah, right. Mark wouldn't know how to play mind games like that even if he wanted to. Although... he'd certainly been used enough times by Maureen to learn a thing or two about games. But, that also meant he'd learned how much it hurts to be on the receiving end, and he was too nice to purposely fuck with my head. Right?

Wandering into the living room, I collapsed onto the couch and sighed. I needed to stop thinking so much. That was Mark's job, and he was definitely good enough at it for the both of us.

Probably not the only thing he was good at, either. Hell, I'd heard him and Maureen through the bedroom walls back when they were a couple. It was kind of impossible not to -- thin walls and a woman who thinks she's a sex goddess are not the best equation for a quiet night. And either that girl was a great actress, or Mark really knew what he was doing under the covers...

Holy fuck. It was a good thing Mark wasn't around at that particular moment. Explaining my pajama pants' sudden tightness was not how I wanted to start the morning.

The phone rang just as I entered the bathroom. The answering machine could get it, I decided. I had slightly more pressing issues to resolve. (A/N: No pun intended, I swear!)

For once I actually didn't mind our lack of a water heater. The tepid spray of water rushed down my body, comforting me with its steady stream. Eyes closed, I reached blindly for the shampoo and poured some into my hands. The scent was unusual -- not the way my shampoo normally smells -- yet oddly familiar.

I opened my eyes. The substance in my hand wasn't shampoo at all. It was body wash. Mimi's body wash.

Christ, I just couldn't get away from her. Everything, everywhere I went, every thought I had, every action: it all led to her. Which meant that guilt was soon to follow. Guilt for falling out of love -- if that was the case, although I still thought I loved her -- guilt for thinking about someone else, guilt because I was afraid to just be honest and tell her my heart wasn't entirely in it anymore, and guilt for not even knowing why I felt this way.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe last night was just an illusion. That had to be it. God knows my impulsiveness had gotten me into trouble before. I was tempted at the time, but that happens to everyone. It didn't mean there was anything there worth pursuing, worth ruining a perfect relationship with the woman of my dreams.

Maybe if I kept telling myself that, I would actually begin to believe it.

Half an hour later, I stepped out of the shower, finally convinced that I had cleansed the crazy notion of liking Mark from my being. I wandered, naked, into my bedroom, drying my head with a towel.

“Hey there.”

“Shit!” In one swift motion I covered myself with the towel, then looked around to see who had just spoken.

Mimi was perched delicately on my bed. Thank God, she didn't seem to suspect anything.

Suspect what, Roger? There's nothing to suspect. You haven't done anything wrong. It's normal, perfectly normal, everyone has doubts from time to time.

“I, um, I called earlier, but nobody answered the phone so I just came over,” she said, biting the corner of her lip.

Only then did I calm down enough to remember our earlier fight. “Oh. Yeah, I was in the shower.”

“I kinda figured that out,” said Mimi with a small giggle.

“Yeah.” I turned away quickly, rolling my eyes at myself. “So what's up?”

“Well, I don't have to be at work until noon, so I thought I'd come see you for a while.” Her words came out in a kind of forced casual tone, that implied connotation of “I-know-we-just-had-a-fight-yesterday-but-maybe-if we-ignore-it-the-problem-will-go-away” lurking in an otherwise innocent sentence.

Had it been any other day, I would have played along. Had I been thinking about anything but what was actually on my mind before she appeared, I would have already pulled her into my arms by now, rather than pacing around nervously as I now found myself doing.

“Roger?”

I looked up from the floor with a start. “Huh? Oh... yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“What? No, I mean, yeah, I mean... of course I'm okay. Never been better. Why wouldn't I be?” I laughed nervously and swallowed hard.

Mimi gave me a long, searching look before responding. “You just -- you seem a little strange. Are you sure nothing's wrong? You can tell me if something is.” She stepped toward me; I backed away unconsciously.

“I said I'm fine, okay?” I snapped.

Mimi sighed, a small frown causing her glossed lips to pout. Shit, I always did that, I always managed to find some way to piss people off. I'm just a fucking ray of sunshine.

Taking a deep breath, I slid closer to her and snaked my arms around her waist. “Hey -- I'm sorry,” I murmured. “It was a long night, and I'm kinda edgy now.”

“I noticed.” After a moment she relented into my embrace, stretching upward to brush her lips against mine.

The first time Mimi ever kissed me, I felt this... spark, for lack of a better word. It came as a shock at first, made me back away and insist she leave. I had never experienced something like that before, and it frightened me -- but at the same time, though I wouldn't admit it until later that night, I was entranced. As long as we had been together, that spark had remained, had continued to stir me, thrill me, and overwhelm me.

Maybe it was my imagination, but I couldn't sense that electricity and magic now.

I was just angry, of course. I needed to relax, stop being so paranoid about things. Give it time, Roger.

The kisses deepened as we made our way to the bed, my towel long forgotten in a heap on the floor with her clothes. God, she was gorgeous. Not to mention damn talented at what she did. In the afterglow, I breathed a sigh of relief. I couldn't be gay or in love with Mark. The mere fact that I was able to have sex with Mimi and enjoy it confirmed that, didn't it?

I pulled the sheets up over our intertwined bodies, placing my lips gently on her closed eyelids. The corners of her mouth curled upward into a tiny smile. She was wonderful -- no, beyond wonderful, perfect. I just needed a reminder, needed to see her face and her smile and hear her voice whispering my name to remember how much I loved her.

Why couldn't I remember that when she wasn't around?

Someone rapped softly on my bedroom door, disrupting my thoughts. “What?” I mumbled sleepily.

“Roger, I'm back!” The door creaked open partway. “I got the... oh... shit, I'm sorry, I didn't realize Mimi was here--” Mark paused, like he thought he should leave and shut the door but couldn't force his body to move correctly.

I bit my lip, feeling my cheeks redden, and clung tighter to Mimi. “It's okay. We're, uh, done now anyway. I think she's asleep.”

“Okay...” Mark stalled nervously. Was it my imagination or was he staring at me? “Um, so, yeah, I got the Captain Crunch. And I bought some fruit --” He was blushing. Why the hell was he blushing? And was my face as bright as his? “Cause we need our nutrients. You know. I, uh, I'll just... go now...”

And he was gone, the door slammed shut behind him. I heard my girlfriend chuckle under her breath. “Poor Mark, he gets so uptight about sex sometimes.”

“I thought you were going to sleep.”

Mimi sat up and extended her arms above her head, stretching her body like a cat. “Wish I could, but I have to work today.”

“What?” My face blanched. “Since when?”

“I told you when I came in, silly.”

“But -- but you can't...”

“And why is that?” She rolled her eyes as she twisted her torso to each side lithely.

“Because I -- well, I... I want you here!”

“You'll survive,” Mimi stated calmly. She slipped off the bed, reaching for her clothing on the floor. “What's with you lately, Roge? You're being weird.”

I sighed. She didn't understand. How could she? If she left, that meant I'd be alone in the loft with Mark...

I was insane. I'd been alone in the loft with Mark a million times, and it hadn't caused a nervous breakdown or the apocalypse yet.

Yeah, and thinking about him never made me need to take a cold shower before, but there's a first time for everything, isn't there?

“Please,” I whispered. “Don't go.”

“Grow up, Roger.” Now fully dressed, she slinked over to my side and tangled a hand in my hair. “I need the money, you know that. Just be happy I got that job waitressing now. I could go back to the Cat Scratch Club and only work a few hours a night, four nights a week...”

“No!” I blurted.

She smirked. “That's what I thought. I'll see you soon, babe.” Mimi kissed me softly then, like a flash, disappeared from the room.