Two mornings later, all the Jedi on Coruscant gathered in the main assembly hall of the Temple for the most significant event in the history of the New Order: Luke Skywalker's examination. Many Jedi who no longer lived on Coruscant returned for the event, and a number of the Old Order Knights also tried to attend, but since they had chosen not to affiliate with Luke's "enclave" as they called it, the Council unanimously agreed that they had no right to sit at his examination, especially since they might try to turn Luke's disgrace to their advantage and win back the support of the galaxy.
In fact, no one who was not Jedi, with the exception of Han Solo and Chewbacca, was allowed to attend, a fact which generated a cry of protest from the press in particular, who wanted to broadcast the "trial" live by holovid. Several commentators decried what they saw as censorship and secrecy on the part of the Jedi, but the Council maintained that since examinations were not trials at all, despite the mislabeling of the press, but were rather an opportunity for growth and self inquiry, it was only appropriate to have present those who would profit the most from the occasion. Anath Pipir himself, as acting Master of the Jedi, would issue a press release every day to communicate their progress, and in the end a complete transcript of the examination would be made available, but no one outside the Temple would be allowed to attend.
Not that people didn't try. Members of the press, protesters, and the merely curious all tried to sneak themselves or proxy recording devices into the Temple. Needless to say, it is almost impossible to successfully eavesdrop on one hundred assembled Jedi without their discovering it. The intruders were politely, but firmly, escorted from the Temple, their recorders succinctly gutted by a lightsaber blade.
Outside the Temple, however, people could gather if they wished. While some protesters had maintained a vigil almost as soon as Luke had originally been arrested, by the morning of the examination their numbers had swelled to a huge crowd, including many reporters who, having nothing else to cover, vigorously interviewed random members of the crowd on their ill-informed and highly biased opinions on Luke, the Jedi, Akeeno, and the eventual outcome of both the examination and the criminal trial.
In contrast to the chaos and inflamed passion of the crowd, the spirit inside the Temple was somber and subdued. Long before the examination was scheduled to begin, the seats in the assembly hall had been filled. The raised dais, usually at one end of the hall, had been moved into the center. A large, round table stood on the dais, with chairs for each of the eleven members of the Council, and two additional chairs for Luke and his advocate. Seated behind Luke was his family, Mara, Han, Chewie, and Leia, who had re-arranged her scheduled to be present for the opening of the examination and for as many of the subsequent daily two-hour sessions as she could. All the other spectators were seated in concentric rows around the dais.
Shortly before the scheduled hour, the Council members began taking their places at the table, and the hushed murmurings of the assembly fell silent. Luke and his advocate, Corran Horn, had been conferring in a quiet corner of the hall, and when they saw the Council begin to arrive, they took their seats at the table without a word.
Last to arrive, precisely on the hour, was the Master of the Jedi, Anath Pipir. He closed the door to the hall behind him and walked unhurriedly to the dais. Anath was a young man, and his natural good humor and exuberance made him seem even younger than his early 30s. Although he was well respected for his wisdom and insight, Anath was more commonly known as the welcome provider of laughter and comic relief to the often somber business of the Jedi. Today, however, not even a trace of his usual light humor was visible in his eyes. He moved deliberately, purposefully, as if his new responsibilities were a physical burden. He did not stagger under the weight. Rather he exuded a calm but powerful strength, inspiring confidence in everyone gathered in the hall.
He stepped onto the dais and seated himself at the table, completing the circle. For several moments, he looked out into the assembly gathered, making eye contact, reassuring and challenging them at the same time, passing onto them some of the burden he carried, for he carried it in their behalf. Every one of them sat in the seat of judgment with Anath, just as they all sat in the seat of examination with Luke.
When Anath was sure they all understood this, he at last spoke. "My friends, we have gathered here for the examination of Master Luke Skywalker. As you know, examinations usually take place within the Council Chamber with only those who are immediately concerned present. But since all of us are concerned in this matter, Master Luke has consented to have the examination be open to you all. There are no secrets here. Nevertheless, I want to remind you that since Master Luke faces a criminal trial, we all need to be discreet in discussing the examination with anyone outside the Temple." He allowed this admonition to sink in, before turning to Corran Horn. "As Master Luke's advocate, would you like to begin?"
Corran Horn, another of Luke's earliest pupils, had long been more than qualified to sit on the Jedi Council himself, but his independent Corellian streak had called him to roam the galaxy instead. Before he had become a Jedi, he had flown with Rogue Squadron with Wedge Antilles, and before that he had been a member of the Corellian Security Force, following in the footsteps of his father, who had once tried unsuccessfully to bring a certain young smuggler named Han Solo to justice. After Luke had refused Anath, Corran had quickly volunteered to act as Luke's advocate.
Corran's green eyes swept the ring of faces seated around the table. "Masters," he addressed them, "after hearing Luke's story, I find nothing to indicate that he poses any danger or threat to the galaxy. I believe he acted in good conscience under extreme circumstances. It will, of course, be up to you to determine the propriety of his actions, but he did not act on the dark side.
"So that you may better understand exactly what happened, I would like for Luke to tell his own story."
All eyes and ears in the hall at last turned fully to Luke, who remained silent for some time, struggling within himself. For so long, everyone in the galaxy had been speculating on the conditions and motivations which had made Luke Skywalker an assassin, while Luke himself said nothing. Up until yesterday he had told no one, not even Mara, the entire story. Reviewing it with Corran had been almost unbearable, reviving horrific emotions and experiences that he never wanted to remember. It was easier to let everyone make their own assumptions, however wrong, than to open up to them his own personal hell. And yet he would have to tell the story, and many times: to the Jedi, to his lawyers, to the courtroom in his trial. To lay bare the hidden torment of his soul's darkest hour seemed an even worse torture, but that was what a Jedi examination was all about: exposing inner darkness to the cleansing power of the light. Luke doubted he would find any healing for his soul, but he trusted the people surrounding him in the hall. Here was the safest place in the universe for him to tell his story. So, taking a deep breath, he began.
"Mara and I were on a goodwill tour, as you know. We were on Bogarnes, taking a few days off to go camping in the middle of nowhere. That's where they got us. We never even knew it. We fell asleep in our tents and woke up imprisoned. They had ysalamiri, and dosed us with dioxalin. They really knew what they were doing. We were kept in two adjacent cells separated by a two-way mirror, so I could see into Mara's cell, but only when they wanted me to. A minimum of four guards were in each of our cells at all times, with two more outside the door. The guards carried the ysalamiri on them so they would be protected from anything I might try with the Force, but they stayed far enough away that I could still feel the Force, although my sense was distorted from the dioxalin. They kept me bound at all times, with good, old-fashioned rope, the most effective binding for a Jedi: no locks to pick.
"They all wore masks or hoods to conceal their identities. They never used names, and they all wore nondescript jumpsuits with no insignia. What few details I could learn about their identity I gave to Talon Karrde so he could try to find out who they were.
"Their leader, or at any rate the person who dealt with me, was a human female, I'd guess in her forties. She was the only one who ever spoke to me, and she wasted no time telling me what they wanted: for me to kill Dimishaneer Akeeno. They gave me three days to decide. If I agreed, they would let Mara and me go free. If I didn't --." He stopped and swallowed hard. When he spoke again his voice trembled. "They would kill Mara, and I alone would go free."
A ripple of shock coursed throughout the spectators. Everyone had been expecting it, yet to hear from Luke's own lips the choice he had been forced to make, lanced through the hearts of all who loved him. Mara squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Even though she knew everything that had happened, to hear it from Luke's point of view was more than she could bear. Beside her, Han placed his arm around her shoulders, his own memories of Bespin threatening to overwhelm him.
Luke cleared his throat and continued. "So that was it. And they just began…torturing Mara to death." His voice grew weaker and more broken, his breath uneven, as he struggled to hold back the horror of those days. "They would rest several hours between each session. I could only see into the cell whenever they tortured her. There were speakers, too, of course, although she almost never screamed. They didn't like that, but it hardly mattered since I could feel it all through the Force.
"First they broke her ankles, with a sledgehammer. It would also hinder her escaping. They beat her, electrocuted her. They broke the fingers of her left hand, one by one. They held her right hand over a flame. Whenever she could, she would say, 'Don't do it, Luke. Don't give in to them. I can bear it. Be strong.' She knew their intentions, even if she didn't know what they were asking. She tried to help me, and I tried to be strong. I said to myself, 'I'm a Jedi. She's a Jedi. We would both die to save Akeeno's life. I can't murder Akeeno, it would violate everything I believe, everything I've ever stood for."
"But when they held her hand over that flame and she was getting weaker, I knew without a doubt that there was no escape. They would torture her to death, and I would watch her – my wife! -- die before my eyes. And I could not bear it. It was too great a sacrifice. So I gave in." Luke sank down into himself, growing smaller in the chair. He began to tremble violently, as if fighting to hold in some terrible emotion. Then the words exploded out of him, ringing throughout the hall. "I let them torture her for two days! My only regret is that I did not give in sooner!"
The force of his assertion stunned everyone. Mara covered her ears with her hands, trying to squeeze Luke's words out of her head, willing herself not to run out of the hall. She could not bear to witness Luke's self torture any more than he could bear to watch hers at the hands of their captors.
Luke calmed himself down, and when he spoke again his voice was flat and emotionless. "I gave in, but I wanted assurance they would keep their end of the bargain. They reduced my dose of dioxalin, and the leader let me reach into her mind with the Force to determine her honesty. I also insisted on randomly examining a guard of my choice, which they agreed to. I picked a guard who was nervous and intimidated. His thoughts also indicated that they were only interested in Akeeno's death and they would let Mara go free. I picked up on only one clue from his mind: the name Hamarinn. I don't know who that is, but I told Karrde so he could try to find out.
"Once I was assured they would truly let Mara go, everything else just fell into place. I assassinated Akeeno, and met them again at the rendezvous point, where they brought Mara and the Jade Sabre. I flew her to Myrmidon so she could be treated, and then I turned myself in. That's it."
Luke fell silent, and no one spoke, absorbing all that he had said. Anath's face was impassive, hiding his own torment. He loved Mara and couldn't bear to think of her tortured to death. He loved Luke and couldn't bear to think of him watching his wife's death. Anath's heart cried out in protest at the way his friends had been abused, but it also cried out for Akeeno's death. Both actions were wrong. How could they be resolved?
Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Anath said, "I think we need to end for today so that all of us can meditate on what you have said. But before we break, is there anything else you want to add, Luke?"
Luke straightened, all previous uncertainty gone, as he asserted with clarity and purpose, "I violated my oath as a Jedi to protect the innocent. I murdered a good and noble leader. I know that and am prepared to accept the consequences of my actions. But know this: I did so voluntarily, of my own free will." He leaned forward, his eyes blazing with defiance. "And I would do it again to protect Mara."
Chapter Fifteen: The Hunt Begins
Talon Karrde sat in the briefing room of his ship the Wild Karrde, his top investigators arranged around the table. Shada, his second in command, sat to his right, a data pad in her hand. She looked to Karrde, who faced the others and said, "Based on what Luke and Mara described to us about the crew, Shada compiled a list of all possible organizations that might fit the parameters. You all have been given the list and reviewed what you know. Let us now go through the list and see if we can't narrow it down." He nodded to Shada.
Raising the pad, Shada began to name the candidates: criminal organizations, pirates, bounty hunters, soldiers for hire, space gypsies, even rogue freedom fighters rebelling against Empire and Republic alike. Over twenty groups had made the list, and these were only the most likely. An additional thirty or so could also be possibilities, but they had to start somewhere.
Karrde's network of informants was widespread and knowledgeable. They were rapidly able to eliminate the groups whose whereabouts could be verified during the time of Luke and Mara's capture, or who could not be possibilities for other reasons.
The results were better than Karrde had hoped. Only five organizations remained. He nodded in satisfaction. "Not bad. The field has considerably narrowed."
Shada frowned, "Some of these that we eliminated could possibly still have done it. The proof of their whereabouts is weak, or--."
"It doesn't matter. This gives us a place to start. The next thing we need to consider is what clue will most obviously identify the group."
Chal volunteered, "I can start tracing which organization recently came into a large sum of money."
Karrde shook his head. "I think it will be easier than that. They had ysalamiri. There is only one place they can get them from. Either they went to Myrkyr themselves and succeeded in transferring the ysalamiri to the nutrient frames, something which we know takes great experience and technical knowledge, or more likely they got them through a supplier." He frowned. "Unfortunately, I haven't kept up with who the suppliers are these days. Anyone?"
"Torris on Plithia used to do it," Chal said, "but she was arrested years ago."
Danlon added, "Janodral Mizar was killed in a bar fight. I remember it made the news."
"Anyone else?" Karrde asked, but they only shook their heads at each other. "I stopped keeping up with the ysalamiri trade ever since the peace treaty. With things settled down in the galaxy, no one seemed foolish enough to take on the Jedi. I should have known better."
"I can start making inquiries," Shada said. "It shouldn't be too hard to find out."
"Yes, unfortunately a general inquiry might tip off our prey. We don't want them to go underground, or to know we're looking for them." He stroked his salt-and-pepper beard thoughtfully. "We have to be careful in our inquiries, try to find someone who might actually be sympathetic to Skywalker's plight, or at least not hostile to him."
"Why would someone who deals in ysalamiri," Shada inquired, "creatures whose only value is their ability to thwart the Jedi, be sympathetic to Luke Skywalker?"
"Certainly not any criminals," Karrde agreed. "But a government, perhaps?"
The others seated around the table exchanged wary glances.
His decision made, Karrde commed the bridge. A disembodied voice answered, "Yes, Captain?"
"Aves, plot a course for Bastion."
A pause. "Bastion, sir?"
"That is correct. Let me know as soon as you have calculated our ETA." He shut off the comm and smiled at his amazed crew. "Yes, the Empire. It's been a long time since I saw Admiral Pellaeon. A visit is definitely overdue."
*****
Three days later, the Wild Karrde flew into Imperial space. Karrde was not exactly an unknown on Bastion. Ever since the Empire and Republic had signed a peace treaty, Karrde had adapted his trade to deal in information which he supplied to both sides in order to broker confidence. He was in fact a welcome personality among the Empire, and shortly after landing he found himself ushered into Admiral Pellaeon's well-appointed office.
"Captain Karrde," Pellaeon smiled, extending his hand to shake Karrde's firmly. "It is a great pleasure to see you. I don't suppose you have brought me any information?"
Karrde pursed his lips. "Actually, I'm here to ask you something."
Pellaeon raised an eyebrow. "I hope you don't think the Empire had anything to do with the events on Pamylasia."
"Of course not. You have nothing to gain from it. Besides, it is hardly your style."
"But it is why you're here." A statement, not a question.
Karrde saw no reason to conceal his purpose. "Yes. I'm trying to find out the identity of the people who kidnapped Skywalker and Mara Jade. They had ysalamiri, and I thought you might be able to tell me who was still supplying them."
Pellaeon hesitated. Now that the war was over, the Empire should have no more need for ysalamiri. Only criminals should want to subvert the Jedi. He considered denying any knowledge of the affair whatsoever, but he doubted Karrde would believe him. Besides, Karrde understood Pellaeon's position as military leader of the Republic's only rival. Subterfuge was not necessary. "I do have that information," he said slowly. "While I have no current need for ysalamiri, I would hate to jeopardize my sources. An Admiral wants to keep all his options open."
"I understand," Karrde agreed. "I have no intention of having those sources arrested or reporting them to the Republic. I only want to learn whom they have supplied them to."
Pellaeon knew Karrde's word was good, but it still made him uneasy. "And what are you willing to offer in exchange for this information?"
"I am prepared to make a very generous financial contribution to the Empire."
To Karrde's surprise, Pellaeon laughed. "Are you acting independently, or is the Republic financing your offer?"
Karrde only smiled. "This is a personal matter."
"Ah, yes, I'd forgotten how fond you are of Skywalker. Did you not stand up with the bride at their wedding?"
"You were invited to attend as well."
"Yes. Sometimes I regret choosing not to be present. It must have been something to see: law-and-order types on the groom's side, Imperials and criminals on the bride's."
Karrde's smile faded slightly. "Actually, the division was not so clear-cut."
Pellaeon nodded. "I know. Believe it or not, I watched the holovid broadcast." He sobered slightly. "But seriously, Karrde, do you really think the Empire is so hard up for cash we would want to sell such important information to you?"
"I can pay quite handsomely."
"I'm sure you could, but I'm interested in an exchange, not a sale."
"Do you have a counter offer?"
"Perhaps you could update me on the Republic's military technology?"
Karrde maintained an even face, but gritted his teeth. He could not let Pellaeon know how desperate he was to help Luke. Indeed, he wasn't sure himself. Would he be willing to sell out the Republic to help Luke? He hoped it would not come to that. "Surely you remember that any information I share with you I must also share with the Republic? I do not deal in secrets; I deal in information."
"A subtle point, perhaps. But you must allow I had to ask. Actually, I have something else in mind. These people you're looking for: they captured two Jedi, I daresay the two most powerful Jedi in the galaxy. They succeeded in forcing Luke Skywalker into assassinating Dimishaneer Akeeno, no small feat. And so far they have remained undiscovered. These are truly talented people. And one thing any military organization needs more than money is talented people. When you learn who they are -- if you do -- will you let the Republic arrest them, or will you capture them yourself?"
Karrde smirked. "I do not trust the Republic to have the subtlety to catch them. I plan to take them myself."
Pellaeon leaned back in his chair, resting his elbows on the armrests. "You don't really need the entire organization for your purpose, do you? Really, they aren't the ones you're after. You want whoever hired them. All you need is one person to sell out, and for that matter it doesn't even have to be the leader. The second in command, perhaps, or any lacky who knows who hired them."
"I would prefer the leader. It would add to the credibility of whatever information she or he provided."
Pellaeon nodded. "If you insist, I shall not contradict. But whoever you decide to keep, I would like the rest of the organization brought to Imperial space first, so that they may claim asylum with us."
Again Karrde hesitated, not sure he wanted people skilled in capturing Jedi to join up with the Empire.
But Pellaeon read his mind. "Don't worry. I have enough confidence in my own ability to deal with the Jedi. But as I said, any group who could have pulled it off must be intelligent, highly skilled, and great at teamwork -- qualities I would value. I would not force them to join us. I only want to give them the opportunity. If they choose not to join, you may do with them what you will."
Karrde considered. "Very well. I claim the right to keep as many of them as I deem necessary, although I doubt I would need more than one. Two at the most, to corroborate. The rest may have their chance with you. Now, who are the suppliers?"
"There is actually only one that I know of. Demand dried up with the peace. They are such temperamental creatures to keep alive, you know. The supplier is a Rodian named Beppo who lives on Myrkyr itself. I will give you the details on how to contact him. I trust you won't tell him led you to him."
"Of course not. And I do appreciate your help."
"You are most welcome. And good luck," Pellaeon smiled with genuine warmth. "Not only in finding them, but in helping Skywalker."
Chapter Sixteen: Escape
Lanari Barusch sat in her office, staring idly out the window. After the morning's examination, she had tried to busy herself with work. The Council had elected not to meet again until after the next session, when they would actually have something to discuss. For now they were all supposed to meditate on Luke's story of what had unfolded during his and Mara's disappearance.
But Lanari could not bring herself to think about it, nor did she see the point, at least not yet. She had heard enough horror stories in her life; she preferred not to dwell on them. So she had tried to pass the time by consulting with one or two students on aspects of their study. No one was really in the mood for it, however. Next she attempted to read some reports, but after reading the same page five times and still not remembering what she had read, she finally gave up, and sat staring out of the window, for how long she did not know.
A knock on her door interrupted her stupor. Relieved for some diversion, she looked up. The door was pushed open, and Mara Jade peeked into the office. "You busy?"
Dread twitched in Lanari's stomach. She hoped Mara didn't want to discuss the situation with her. She wasn't sure she could stand it. With some hesitation, she gestured for Mara to enter. "I'm not really doing anything."
Mara walked in and immediately picked up a smooth wooden figurine from Lanari's desk. Lanari couldn't remember where she had originally gotten it, but Mara loved the feel of it in her hand, and she played with it whenever she came to Lanari's office. One of these days Lanari figured she ought to just give it to her.
Mara rolled the figure back and forth between her palms. "Have anything on the schedule for tonight?"
"Uh...no. Why?"
"I have to get out of the Temple," Mara said, nervous energy spiking through her Force presence. "If I stay here another minute, I'll go insane. I was thinking we could hit some of the lowlife bars, get roaring drunk, pick a fight with some swoopies."
Lanari's eyes widened. "Wow, we haven't done that since..."
"Since the wedding," Mara smirked.
"But do you really want to get drunk?"
"Absolutely shitfaced." When Mara noticed Lanari's continuing disbelief, she added, "I know, but there's a first time for everything, and now certainly seems like as good a time as any."
"And a barroom brawl?"
Mara shrugged. "All right, let's just focus on the drunken part and improvise the rest."
Lanari shook her head, but she couldn't hold back a smile. She and Mara had very similar backgrounds. Lanari had been another one of the Emperor's Force-user experiments, although she never really entered into active service. She was only sixteen when the Emperor died. Like Mara she found employment in the underworld, where she eventually formed her own crack mercenary team before she met Luke Skywalker and became one of his first apprentices. Both women were completely devoted to the Jedi way, but every once in a while they felt the need to revisit, however briefly, their former lawless days.
"Well, I'm honored," Lanari drawled. "If you picked me to be there the first time you ever get really drunk, how can I refuse? I have to call Marquet, though, and let him know I'll be out."
Mara tossed the wooden figure to Lanari, "And change into civvies. Insofar as it's possible, I want us to go incognito."
"That's good," Lanari mused. "It wouldn't really do for two Jedi to get arrested for brawling. No matter how fun it might be."
*****
Within twenty minutes they were in an airtaxi headed to one of the sleazier regions of Coruscant. The crowd in the first bar they entered was disappointingly subdued, but then it was still rather early in the day. The real punks probably hadn't even woken up yet from the previous night's binge.
Lanari decided to start Mara out slow on the alcohol. The truth was Mara had never really been drunk before. Under the Emperor's tutelage she knew how to consume, or looked like she was consuming, liquor at an alarming rate without being affected by it. Mara never wanted her senses to be impaired, something Lanari in her former line of work had also appreciated. Nevertheless, Lanari had gone on the occasional bender, so drinking was one area, at least, where she had more experience than Mara. They drank a little, played some pool, and Mara even got up and sang a few songs at the open mike to the soporific early evening crowd. She had a good voice and could sing in a range of styles, but she only picked hard-core blues songs, all about how rotten and painful love was. Lanari wasn't sure whether Mara picked them for the music or the lyrics, but probably on some level, conscious or not, the words vocalized emotions Mara could not otherwise express. Lanari could sympathize well: she, too, was a graduate of the Palpatine School for the Emotionally Stunted.
They moved on to another bar, where they managed to get into a fierce argument with some swoopies, but no fighting came of it. While Lanari certainly enjoyed a good fight, she really did not want to get into a brawl. Aside from the strong possibility of their getting arrested, which could only hurt Luke's situation, Mara had not yet fully recovered from her injuries. Fortunately, however, the more intoxicated Mara became the more she was willing to settle for bluster without blows.
At one point she challenged some swoopies to a speeder bike race, but Lanari managed to talk her out of it, pointing out that engaging in an illegal race while under the influence of alcohol was probably not the most prudent thing to do. Instead, they settled for being merely uncouth and obnoxious.
Three bars in a row kicked them out for drunk and disorderly conduct, an accomplishment which pleased them both. Still, Mara managed to coax the bartender at the last place into selling them a bottle of cheap Ithorian whiskey. The stuff tasted like engine coolant, but by that point they were too drunk to care. They staggered their way to one of the areas that had been destroyed by Grand Admiral Thrawn's assault on Coruscant ten years back. The area had never been rebuilt, and they scrambled on top of the rubble, finding a perch where they could watch the night lights of the city as they passed the bottle back and forth between them.
Mesmerized by the night traffic passing by overhead, Mara mused, "I know how much Luke hates this place, but I love Coruscant. I grew up here."
"Never was much of a nature lover myself," Lanari agreed.
"Every time I visit the Imperial Palace, I still feel some of that old thrill. I know Palpatine was evil, but you have to admit there's something very self-assured, absolute, about the raw drive for power for its own sake."
"I know what you mean. 'Easier, quicker, more seductive.' It's kind of sexy."
Mara snorted in laughter. "It's definitely sexy." She sighed and took a long drink from the bottle, then passed it over to Lanari. "I'd have made one hell of a Sith Lord." She cocked her head at Lanari. "So if you'd gone to the Dark Side, how many star systems would you be ruling now?"
Lanari laughed with wicked delight. She loved these conversations with Mara. If any of the other Jedi ever heard them, they would take it is a sign Lanari and Mara harbored secret darksider tendencies. But it was all part of the game they played. "I wouldn't rule any system. I never envied the Emperor his role. Even despots have to at least pretend to be accountable." She hugged her knees to her chest, indulging in her forbidden fantasy. "Instead, I'd create my own underworld empire. I'd force the existing leaders to yield to my demands."
"I would definitely be Emperor," Mara contended. "The power, the pomp, all of it. By now I'd be ruling the entire galaxy."
"And I would be opposing you, trying to tear your empire apart from the inside."
"Yes, but how we would respect each other," Mara chuckled. "Like two slavering Hutt crime lords." She looked back up at the sky, silent for several moments. "Actually, I never wanted to be Emperor. I was happy to serve in the shadows. It was perfect, really. I had power, wealth, and total anonymity. I was like a sleekrat, slipping in an out of the shadows, ready at any moment to strike."
The image was a little too vivid for Lanari, and she shivered. "I'm glad I didn't know you then."
Mara laughed again, dispelling the shadows. "Oh, but the perks of service to the Emperor were good. You know he once gave me a gown made entirely of Mandalorian spider silk?" Lanari whistled in astonishment. Mara continued, "I'm not talking just the trim. The entire dress was made of the stuff. It cost 250,000 Imperial credits."
Lanari's head reeled. "I've never even seen any Mandalorian silk. It's supposed to be the finest fabric in the galaxy. What did feel it like to wear it?"
"Like --," Mara's eyes grew dreamy as she sought the proper words. "Like nothing. Literally! I couldn't wear underwear with it." She collapsed into a fit of giggles, rapidly joined by Lanari. "I think I only ever wore it twice in public, it was too embarrassing. But it was a beautiful gown, very simple lines, and of the lightest shade of blue. Almost the color of my lightsaber blade. Sometimes I would just wear that dress around my apartment, it felt so good. Like wearing a cloud. No, like wearing a breath of wind." A nostalgic smile lit her face as she remembered the gown. Abruptly her face fell. Lanari began to worry and was about to ask what was wrong, when Mara's expression softened, and she said in a tender voice, "No, I know exactly what it was like. It was like Luke's hands on my body. Like his lips on my skin. Only not nearly so soft."
Lanari shivered again, this time from the waves of tender pain rolling off of Mara.
"Once," Mara continued, lost in her own thoughts, "the Emperor entrusted me with ten million credits worth of singing gems. When the stones rub together, they make an exquisite sound, like the vibration of the stars. But they sound like broken glass compared to Luke's voice."
Lanari began, "Mara --."
But Mara ignored her. "Another time the Emperor held an exclusive dinner party. He served Agamari nectar, 10,000 credits a glass. It tasted like honey laced with gold dust. But compared to Luke's kisses...." She trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut.
Beside her, Lanari sat in torment. She took a long drink from the whiskey bottle to strengthen herself. She knew Mara had spoken with no one about what had happened. Listening to Luke's examination must be agony for her. She needed to open up, and Lanari knew she was the most likely candidate to whom Mara would open her heart because the two of them were so unaccustomed to sharing confidences with anyone. But that was the precise reason why Lanari did not want to hear what Mara had to say. Lanari could still hardly bear to face the emotional depths of her own life. How could she possibly endure Mara's, especially now?
"How I love that man," Mara sighed. "Force help me, but I do." She turned and pressed her face against her knees, huddling like a lost child abandoned in the cold. Lanari was terrified she might start to cry. Then she raised her head. "Listen to me," she remarked in a more normal tone. "I sound like some kind of romantic. Pathetic, isn't it?"
"I'll say," Lanari agreed, guiltily relieved that the emotional moment had passed. "I was waiting for the violins to start playing."
Mara dramatically rolled her eyes, then pressed her hands to her temples to hold back the throbbing the gesture had induced. Unsteadily she climbed to her feet. "What say we hit some more bars?"
"Absolutely," Lanari readily concurred, swallowing another gulp of whiskey.
As it turned out, their next bar was their last. They met up with some Valinese space jockeys and tossed back shots until Mara threw up, which pleased her immensely as she had never been so drunk before. With that, Lanari decided to call it a night. Even though it was not yet midnight, they both had to be at Luke's examination the next morning, and it wouldn't do to show up hungover.
They made it back to Lanari and Marquet's apartment, giggling uncontrollably, where Marquet administered aspirin and copious amounts of water to stave off any hangover. Mara did not want to return home. Luke had never seen her so much as tipsy, and now was not the time she wanted to impose herself on him in such a state. Which was just as well, since she probably couldn't have made it home anyway. She fell into a deep sleep as soon as she stretched out on the couch.
Lanari was not far behind, and to the sonorous tune of their snores, Marquet called Luke to assure him that his wife was all right. Marquet wasn't sure how Luke would take the news, but to his surprise, Luke found the whole thing amusing. His only regret was that he didn't get to see her drunk himself.
Secretly, Luke was pleased that Mara had found some way to relieve some of her tension, and he was very glad Lanari had gone with her. The fact that she had chosen to get drunk did not auger well for her current emotional state, but Luke knew that even if he were not burdened with his own troubles, he did not know how to deal with a depressed and melancholy Mara Jade. So he was content to leave her with Lanari and Marquet, while he returned to his empty bed, hugging her pillow as he fell asleep.