~-=Chapter 5: When Villains Go Shopping!=-~
"OOH! Cellie! Let's go into this store! It has a bunch of pretty dresses!"
"Freiza, for the LAST TIME!! Don't call me Cellie!! And why the hell do we have to buy some damn dresses!?"
"To torture Goheen, remember!?"
"Can't we torture him a different way!? Like strip his clothes so he's butt naked and hang him upside down from a busy intersection!? Then across his chest, there will be a sign that says: "I'M HORNY!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can see it ALL NOW!!! Just WAIT, Goheen!!!" Cell laughed evilly, feeling very proud of his plot against Gohan.
The villains are SHOPPING… Yeah… SHOPPING. They even managed to get some money in their hot little hands. How? Well, let's just say that they held up Mr. Satan and managed to get several bags full of zeni. And yet, the townspeople really didn't notice the two villains walking around with bags of money in their arms. Also, Freiza seems to be developing some.. ER-HEM!! "feelings" for Cell. ::COUGH COUGH::
"Yes, that's a WONDERFUL idea, sweetie! Oh! And look at this dress! It has a bunch of pink frills on it! I LOVE FRILLS!!" squealed Freiza. …his sickeningly feminine side was beginning to surface… "I'm gonna go try this on!!" And so Freiza darted into the changing room.
"Kami, what have you DONE to him!? He's gone MAD!!! Wait a minute.. DID HE JUST CALL ME "SWEETIE"!?"
~~Up at Kami's/Dende's Lookout~~
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is great! Cell and Freiza as a couple!!! Oh man! And GOHAN!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" Dende was rolling all over the floor laughing with tears streaming down his green cheeks.
"Uhh.. sir? Are you alright?" asked Mr. Popo having a sweat drop on his head.
"Oh yeah, I'm just fine, Mr. Popo! HAHAHAHAHA!! Now.. what should I do to Gohan? Cell's idea wasn't too bad… but I kinda want Trunks, Goten, and Videl to be in this too… Oh I know!!!!!" chirped Dende and walked to the edge of the lookout. Then, he started to wave his arms around and started with his unholy magic.
~~Back at the Store~~
"How do I look, sweetie?" Freiza cooed. Freiza batted his unusually long eyelashes at Cell. Freiza was in a pink, frilly dress that you would probably see during the 1800s and twirled around a lacy pink umbrella that was very.. uhh.. Lady-like.
"You l-look… D… D-D-DISGUSTING..!" Cell yelled in terror. "Take the damned thing off! And stop twirling the stupid umbrella! I SAID STOP IT!!!!! That hideous color is nauseating me! WHY are you looking at me like that!? ERR.. ACK!!!"
Suddenly, a bright beam of light flashed across Cell's face. Then, Cell felt a sickening chill down his spine, and then he looked at Freiza again.
"Why, you look BEAUTIFUL, Freiza!!! Buy the dress!! I could just KISS you.. I LOVE YOU,
FREI—WHAT THE HELL!?!?" Cell shrieked and then slapped himself across the face repeatedly.
KA-POW! KA-POW!!! KA-POW!!!! SMASH!!!!!
"OHHH!! I love you too, Cellie!!!" Freiza squealed and jumped up to hug him happily. "Now, now! You don't have to hide your emotions anymore! I know how you REALLY feel about me!! OH I'm so HAPPY!!!!"
"N-NOOO!! I don't love yo—YES! I've been having these emotions since we first met and I want you sooooo ba—NOOOO!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!? KAAAAMMMMIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"
Meanwhile… Back in the forest with Gohan and Videl…
"V-Videl.. I can't go on much longer..!!" Gohan moaned and continued to crawl behind Videl with his stomach's growls rumbling throughout the forest.
"Gohan, I know you're hungry, but just hold on for a bit longer! Goten and Trunks might have gotten something! Being hungry isn't THAT bad, you know!"
"You don't understand!!!!" Gohan cried.
"For crying out loud, Gohan!!! It's only been 4 hours since we started camping here! Stop being such a wuss!!" Videl yelled. She was getting really annoyed with Gohan. 'Maybe I should just stuff his mouth full of mushrooms and abandon him somewhere,' she thought to herself and looked for a place to abandon Gohan.
"Uhhn..!! Videl!!!" Gohan gave her the sad puppy face look and latched onto Videl's foot.
'I can't STAND that FACE! Damn him to HELL!!!' Videl thought to herself and stopped walking. "Speaking of which, what was that when you talked about Cell and that Freiza person?"
"Um… well… I guess they came back to the Living World… …But I'm too hungry to fight them right now!!!" Gohan whined. Videl simply shook her head in disappointment. Gohan was hunched over on the ground picking through the dirt, looking for something to eat.
"Gohan, what are you doing?" Videl looked puzzled.
"Well, I'm just looking for some grubs or some other insects…" Gohan answered.
"Gohan, that's SICK! Wait a minute… I wouldn't put that in your mouth, Gohan! G-G-GOHAN!!!!! That's—!!!!"
But it was too late…. Gohan already popped it into his mouth… What Gohan thought to be a really big hunk of leftover chocolate was actually...
"SHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!" Gohan screamed bloody murder and frantically tried to scrape the crap out of his mouth with his hands. "UUUURRRGGHH!!!!"
"Exactly…" Videl muttered. She couldn't believe that Gohan would actually put animal feces into his mouth without realizing it until it was TOO LATE. So much for the nerdy brainiac. Also noting the fact that it was one of the first times she heard Gohan curse and she actually felt kind of sorry for him as she watched him run over to a bush and vomit incessantly.
"It's STICKING to my TEETH!!!" Gohan screeched.
"GOHAAAN! VIDEEEL!!!" Two young voices were heard in the distance.
"Hey! I think that's Trunks and Goten!" chirped Videl.
"F-FOOOD!?" cried Gohan who was still vomiting from behind the bushes. Trunks and Goten walked up to Gohan and Videl, but they didn't have any food with them.. Just depressed faces..
"What's wrong with Gohan?" Goten asked.
"He'll be fine, Goten. Don't worry," Videl said reassuringly.
"W-well we… ::sniff:: tried to catch a chicken, but ::sniff:: I blew it up a-a-and…" Goten sobbed.
"We found a bear, but I-I-I ki-blasted it to d-death a-and there were ashes and...." Trunks was sobbing too.
"A-And we found a Mr.M-MooMoo, but he fell in a volcano!!!!!" both of the young Saiyans wailed in despair and utter sadness.
"Y-You don't have ANY food!?" Gohan glared at them with anger.
"N-nooo..!! We're sorry Gohan! We're really sorry Videl!! We.. We.." And the two broke down crying again. Then, Gohan started to shake violently…
"You SAID that you would find food… and you found ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!! YOU.. YOU!!!!!" Gohan pounced on the munchkins and started to go ballistic. Trunks and Goten were too weak and hungry to go super Saiyan so all they could do was one thing….
SMASH!!!!!!
They smashed Mr. Winky…
"EEEEK…..!!!" Gohan doubled up in pain and smashed into the ground, curling up into a tight little ball, still shaking violently.
"That was cheap, you two…" Videl scowled.
"What else could we do!? We couldn't go Super Saiyan, Gohan was literally turning into SATAN on us…And why does Gohan's breath smell like POOP!?" Trunks rambled on.
"He ate something and he thought it was chocolate… but wait a minute…my FATHER is SATAN!!!!" Videl yelled.
"NOT THAT SATAN!!!" Trunks snapped. "You should know who I'm talking about! SATAN!!! As in EVIL demon dude from HELL!!"
"So what you're saying is… You're going to control Satanic Gohan by smashing Mr. Winky!?!?" Videl was getting really angry and frustrated. How could they do that to Gohan!? He was in enough pain as it was! ((a/n: There is no such thing as too much pain! ESPECIALLY for Gohan! HAHAHA!! BURN IN HELL, Gohan! BURN IN HELL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'm soooo evil!))
"Well.. yeah. What did you expect? We're HUNGRY! We don't have any energy when we're hungry! So we end up resorting to using cheap shots!" Trunks explained. He was quite proud of his explanation, although it was just a bunch of bull. It was too much fun watching Gohan curl up into a little ball and talk like a chipmunk! 'They should make a TOY like that!!!' Trunks thought to himself.
"Are you getting all of this down, Freiza?" Cell whispered to Freiza from behind the bushes, with their ki's lowered so that no one would notice. Freiza still had that hideously pretty pink dress on and Cell was in a sharp looking tuxedo.
"I sure did, honey bunny!" Freiza whispered back.
"Don't call me honey bun—Oh, I just love it when you call me that Freiz—GYAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Cell jumped out from behind the bushes in frustration, but then realized what he had done. Freiza jumped out with him and latched onto his arm while twirling his pink umbrella. The three half Saiyans and Videl simply stared at the evil couple…
"What.."
"The…"
"HELL?!"
"Squeak!"
"Uhh.. Big brother??? Is THAT Cell and Freiza? They sure do look funny." Goten replied while scratching the back of his head.
"eep… eep eep eep EEP!"
"I'll take that as a "yes"…"
"AH HA!!! WE HAVE FOUND YOU, GOHEEN!!" Cell bellowed.
"eep? EEP!?" Gohan stared at Cell in disbelief. Cell in a tuxedo.. How wrong is that!? Then he looked at Freiza again. "EEEEEP!!! EEP EEP EEEEEEP!!!!" Gohan eeped in terror and disgust. Then, Goten started fidgeting.
"Stop that fidgeting boy, and stand like a man!" Cell yelled at Goten.
"B-b-b-but!!!"
"BUT WHAT!!"
"I… I….. I…." Goten whined and tears were welling up in his eyes and he was jumping frantically up and down.
"Spit it out, VARMINT!!!" Cell was getting pissed and was about ready to blast Goten to Hell.
"I GOTTA GO POTTTTTYYYY!!!!!!!!" Goten cried while doing the "pee-pee dance".
Everyone fell over, and Gohan hit his head hard on a nearby tree stump.
POW!!!
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Gohan screeched in pain.
"Idiot child…" grumbled Cell.
"Awww… is the poor wittle Goheen in pain???" Freiza cooed behind Gohan's ear. Gohan felt sickening chills up his spine and seriously wanted to vomit or at least curl up and die. "Here, I'll make it feel ALL BETTER.." Freiza closed his eyes, puckered up his lips, and inched even closer to Gohan….
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Gohan screamed loud enough to make anyone's blood curdle.
~AAAHHH!! Is Freiza going to kiss Gohan!? Will Goten be able to go pee!? Is Cell ever going to get control over himself!? Not to mention, the sun is quickly beginning to set! AND WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD!?!? Stay tuned for Chapter 6: Terrors of the Night!
Oh geez! While I was writing this fic, it was seriously giving me chills!!! EAGH!!! Well I hope you liked this chapter! And it's amazing that I was able to update in less than a week! Next chapter will have A LOT of Gohan bashing! YAY!!! LOL!!! And reviews would be greatly appreciated! =^.^=
"OOH! Cellie! Let's go into this store! It has a bunch of pretty dresses!"
"Freiza, for the LAST TIME!! Don't call me Cellie!! And why the hell do we have to buy some damn dresses!?"
"To torture Goheen, remember!?"
"Can't we torture him a different way!? Like strip his clothes so he's butt naked and hang him upside down from a busy intersection!? Then across his chest, there will be a sign that says: "I'M HORNY!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can see it ALL NOW!!! Just WAIT, Goheen!!!" Cell laughed evilly, feeling very proud of his plot against Gohan.
The villains are SHOPPING… Yeah… SHOPPING. They even managed to get some money in their hot little hands. How? Well, let's just say that they held up Mr. Satan and managed to get several bags full of zeni. And yet, the townspeople really didn't notice the two villains walking around with bags of money in their arms. Also, Freiza seems to be developing some.. ER-HEM!! "feelings" for Cell. ::COUGH COUGH::
"Yes, that's a WONDERFUL idea, sweetie! Oh! And look at this dress! It has a bunch of pink frills on it! I LOVE FRILLS!!" squealed Freiza. …his sickeningly feminine side was beginning to surface… "I'm gonna go try this on!!" And so Freiza darted into the changing room.
"Kami, what have you DONE to him!? He's gone MAD!!! Wait a minute.. DID HE JUST CALL ME "SWEETIE"!?"
~~Up at Kami's/Dende's Lookout~~
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is great! Cell and Freiza as a couple!!! Oh man! And GOHAN!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" Dende was rolling all over the floor laughing with tears streaming down his green cheeks.
"Uhh.. sir? Are you alright?" asked Mr. Popo having a sweat drop on his head.
"Oh yeah, I'm just fine, Mr. Popo! HAHAHAHAHA!! Now.. what should I do to Gohan? Cell's idea wasn't too bad… but I kinda want Trunks, Goten, and Videl to be in this too… Oh I know!!!!!" chirped Dende and walked to the edge of the lookout. Then, he started to wave his arms around and started with his unholy magic.
~~Back at the Store~~
"How do I look, sweetie?" Freiza cooed. Freiza batted his unusually long eyelashes at Cell. Freiza was in a pink, frilly dress that you would probably see during the 1800s and twirled around a lacy pink umbrella that was very.. uhh.. Lady-like.
"You l-look… D… D-D-DISGUSTING..!" Cell yelled in terror. "Take the damned thing off! And stop twirling the stupid umbrella! I SAID STOP IT!!!!! That hideous color is nauseating me! WHY are you looking at me like that!? ERR.. ACK!!!"
Suddenly, a bright beam of light flashed across Cell's face. Then, Cell felt a sickening chill down his spine, and then he looked at Freiza again.
"Why, you look BEAUTIFUL, Freiza!!! Buy the dress!! I could just KISS you.. I LOVE YOU,
FREI—WHAT THE HELL!?!?" Cell shrieked and then slapped himself across the face repeatedly.
KA-POW! KA-POW!!! KA-POW!!!! SMASH!!!!!
"OHHH!! I love you too, Cellie!!!" Freiza squealed and jumped up to hug him happily. "Now, now! You don't have to hide your emotions anymore! I know how you REALLY feel about me!! OH I'm so HAPPY!!!!"
"N-NOOO!! I don't love yo—YES! I've been having these emotions since we first met and I want you sooooo ba—NOOOO!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!? KAAAAMMMMIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"
Meanwhile… Back in the forest with Gohan and Videl…
"V-Videl.. I can't go on much longer..!!" Gohan moaned and continued to crawl behind Videl with his stomach's growls rumbling throughout the forest.
"Gohan, I know you're hungry, but just hold on for a bit longer! Goten and Trunks might have gotten something! Being hungry isn't THAT bad, you know!"
"You don't understand!!!!" Gohan cried.
"For crying out loud, Gohan!!! It's only been 4 hours since we started camping here! Stop being such a wuss!!" Videl yelled. She was getting really annoyed with Gohan. 'Maybe I should just stuff his mouth full of mushrooms and abandon him somewhere,' she thought to herself and looked for a place to abandon Gohan.
"Uhhn..!! Videl!!!" Gohan gave her the sad puppy face look and latched onto Videl's foot.
'I can't STAND that FACE! Damn him to HELL!!!' Videl thought to herself and stopped walking. "Speaking of which, what was that when you talked about Cell and that Freiza person?"
"Um… well… I guess they came back to the Living World… …But I'm too hungry to fight them right now!!!" Gohan whined. Videl simply shook her head in disappointment. Gohan was hunched over on the ground picking through the dirt, looking for something to eat.
"Gohan, what are you doing?" Videl looked puzzled.
"Well, I'm just looking for some grubs or some other insects…" Gohan answered.
"Gohan, that's SICK! Wait a minute… I wouldn't put that in your mouth, Gohan! G-G-GOHAN!!!!! That's—!!!!"
But it was too late…. Gohan already popped it into his mouth… What Gohan thought to be a really big hunk of leftover chocolate was actually...
"SHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!" Gohan screamed bloody murder and frantically tried to scrape the crap out of his mouth with his hands. "UUUURRRGGHH!!!!"
"Exactly…" Videl muttered. She couldn't believe that Gohan would actually put animal feces into his mouth without realizing it until it was TOO LATE. So much for the nerdy brainiac. Also noting the fact that it was one of the first times she heard Gohan curse and she actually felt kind of sorry for him as she watched him run over to a bush and vomit incessantly.
"It's STICKING to my TEETH!!!" Gohan screeched.
"GOHAAAN! VIDEEEL!!!" Two young voices were heard in the distance.
"Hey! I think that's Trunks and Goten!" chirped Videl.
"F-FOOOD!?" cried Gohan who was still vomiting from behind the bushes. Trunks and Goten walked up to Gohan and Videl, but they didn't have any food with them.. Just depressed faces..
"What's wrong with Gohan?" Goten asked.
"He'll be fine, Goten. Don't worry," Videl said reassuringly.
"W-well we… ::sniff:: tried to catch a chicken, but ::sniff:: I blew it up a-a-and…" Goten sobbed.
"We found a bear, but I-I-I ki-blasted it to d-death a-and there were ashes and...." Trunks was sobbing too.
"A-And we found a Mr.M-MooMoo, but he fell in a volcano!!!!!" both of the young Saiyans wailed in despair and utter sadness.
"Y-You don't have ANY food!?" Gohan glared at them with anger.
"N-nooo..!! We're sorry Gohan! We're really sorry Videl!! We.. We.." And the two broke down crying again. Then, Gohan started to shake violently…
"You SAID that you would find food… and you found ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!! YOU.. YOU!!!!!" Gohan pounced on the munchkins and started to go ballistic. Trunks and Goten were too weak and hungry to go super Saiyan so all they could do was one thing….
SMASH!!!!!!
They smashed Mr. Winky…
"EEEEK…..!!!" Gohan doubled up in pain and smashed into the ground, curling up into a tight little ball, still shaking violently.
"That was cheap, you two…" Videl scowled.
"What else could we do!? We couldn't go Super Saiyan, Gohan was literally turning into SATAN on us…And why does Gohan's breath smell like POOP!?" Trunks rambled on.
"He ate something and he thought it was chocolate… but wait a minute…my FATHER is SATAN!!!!" Videl yelled.
"NOT THAT SATAN!!!" Trunks snapped. "You should know who I'm talking about! SATAN!!! As in EVIL demon dude from HELL!!"
"So what you're saying is… You're going to control Satanic Gohan by smashing Mr. Winky!?!?" Videl was getting really angry and frustrated. How could they do that to Gohan!? He was in enough pain as it was! ((a/n: There is no such thing as too much pain! ESPECIALLY for Gohan! HAHAHA!! BURN IN HELL, Gohan! BURN IN HELL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'm soooo evil!))
"Well.. yeah. What did you expect? We're HUNGRY! We don't have any energy when we're hungry! So we end up resorting to using cheap shots!" Trunks explained. He was quite proud of his explanation, although it was just a bunch of bull. It was too much fun watching Gohan curl up into a little ball and talk like a chipmunk! 'They should make a TOY like that!!!' Trunks thought to himself.
"Are you getting all of this down, Freiza?" Cell whispered to Freiza from behind the bushes, with their ki's lowered so that no one would notice. Freiza still had that hideously pretty pink dress on and Cell was in a sharp looking tuxedo.
"I sure did, honey bunny!" Freiza whispered back.
"Don't call me honey bun—Oh, I just love it when you call me that Freiz—GYAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Cell jumped out from behind the bushes in frustration, but then realized what he had done. Freiza jumped out with him and latched onto his arm while twirling his pink umbrella. The three half Saiyans and Videl simply stared at the evil couple…
"What.."
"The…"
"HELL?!"
"Squeak!"
"Uhh.. Big brother??? Is THAT Cell and Freiza? They sure do look funny." Goten replied while scratching the back of his head.
"eep… eep eep eep EEP!"
"I'll take that as a "yes"…"
"AH HA!!! WE HAVE FOUND YOU, GOHEEN!!" Cell bellowed.
"eep? EEP!?" Gohan stared at Cell in disbelief. Cell in a tuxedo.. How wrong is that!? Then he looked at Freiza again. "EEEEEP!!! EEP EEP EEEEEEP!!!!" Gohan eeped in terror and disgust. Then, Goten started fidgeting.
"Stop that fidgeting boy, and stand like a man!" Cell yelled at Goten.
"B-b-b-but!!!"
"BUT WHAT!!"
"I… I….. I…." Goten whined and tears were welling up in his eyes and he was jumping frantically up and down.
"Spit it out, VARMINT!!!" Cell was getting pissed and was about ready to blast Goten to Hell.
"I GOTTA GO POTTTTTYYYY!!!!!!!!" Goten cried while doing the "pee-pee dance".
Everyone fell over, and Gohan hit his head hard on a nearby tree stump.
POW!!!
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Gohan screeched in pain.
"Idiot child…" grumbled Cell.
"Awww… is the poor wittle Goheen in pain???" Freiza cooed behind Gohan's ear. Gohan felt sickening chills up his spine and seriously wanted to vomit or at least curl up and die. "Here, I'll make it feel ALL BETTER.." Freiza closed his eyes, puckered up his lips, and inched even closer to Gohan….
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Gohan screamed loud enough to make anyone's blood curdle.
~AAAHHH!! Is Freiza going to kiss Gohan!? Will Goten be able to go pee!? Is Cell ever going to get control over himself!? Not to mention, the sun is quickly beginning to set! AND WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD!?!? Stay tuned for Chapter 6: Terrors of the Night!
Oh geez! While I was writing this fic, it was seriously giving me chills!!! EAGH!!! Well I hope you liked this chapter! And it's amazing that I was able to update in less than a week! Next chapter will have A LOT of Gohan bashing! YAY!!! LOL!!! And reviews would be greatly appreciated! =^.^=