OK, I've put 'Pain' and 'Gone' together and am writing the last instalment
of the trilogy, I hope everyone has enjoyed reading these three little
ficlets as much as I've enjoyed writing them! Maybe enjoy is too strong a
word, maybe wallowing in angst and sap is better! ~_^
Pain
The rain fell hard, drenching her clothes. The droplets stabbed at her skin, like tiny knifepoints, causing her body to go numb. But it didn't numb the pain. The excruciating pain. The pain that caused her eyes to glaze over, the pain that filled her heart. No, nothing could lessen that pain for her.
She got up off the bench, and started to walk home. She walked on, ignoring the looks of passers-by. She already knew what they were saying, the rumours, the accusations, the pity. She had tried to explain her absence, but naturally no one believed her, not even Yukari and Amano. They had forgotten both encounters with Van and everyone had their own theories about her disappearance. Drugs, kidnap, brain washing, none of this was true, but it was more plausible than the actual truth. Wars, dragons, knights and princesses, they were all legends. Allen, Chid, Millerna, Merle, Dryden and Van, no one knew about them and they didn't want to find out.
Van. All she had to remind herself of him was his feather. Not that she needed it. His intoxicating scent still haunted her. It was hard to describe, clean, woody with a slight hint of musk and brimstone. At times she could still feel his touch, velvety soft and radiating warmth. But the feather was still a great help, without it she didn't think she could have survived so long. She got it out of her 'Gaea' box as soon as she got home, after a distracted greeting to her worried mother. The feather, though slightly worn from her nearly constant caresses, shone as brightly as on the day it was given. She lay back on her bed, eyes closed, gently stroking the feather and remembered. The journeys, battles and countless arguments. Funny, she had been so worked up about them then, but now…she'd give anything to even have an argument with him. Anything to see him, be with him. But it was impossible. They were of two different worlds and she had already made her decision. She knew it was the right thing to do, but…home wasn't home anymore. She still loved her family, but it wasn't enough. When she thought of home, it evoked images of Gaea, the rolling hills of Fanelia, the monuments of Freid and the bustling metropolis of Austuria. She put the feather back in the box and sifted through the other contents. The feather, scraps of the dress Millerna had given her, some dried Fanelian flowers, her running kit and her diary. She picked up the small book that held so many memories, though her feelings were slightly skewed at the time. She had written in the book scrupulously, everyday before she fell asleep. She turned to a page at random and started to read…
"…God, I can't believe how rude and cold Van was today! Eurgh, that guy can be such a jerk! I swear he has no feelings! Not like Allan, he's so sensitive and really dreamy. He cares about other people, not like another person I could mention, but won't…"
She smiled at how she had misinterpreted Van during the most part of her stay in Gaea. His coldness was only a cover for his feelings, his rudeness a cover for his pain.
She shut her diary, her smile gone. She missed him, wanted him, needed him. Why did they have to go through this…suffering? Why her, why him. It wasn't fair, but then…life was never fair.
*****
The sun shone brightly, covering the fields of Fanelia in a warm light. It was mocking him, his mood, his pain. Instead of warming him the light only caused his eyes to water, hot tears burning his cheeks.
He had just talked to his advisors. They had all avoided his gaze, not wanting to look at him as they announced the news he had been waiting for. He had to find a Queen for Fanelia and they had the 'perfect' candidate. But…he couldn't, it was his duty, his vocation, but still he couldn't do it, for one simple reason.
Hitomi. Beautiful, kind, she was truly perfect in his eyes. He remembered every little thing about her. Her sweet, flowery, slightly cinnamony scent. Shining emerald green eyes, silky sandy blonde hair, the softest skin imaginable. His need for her overpowered him at times, the need to touch, feel. He wanted to love her, posses her. He might have hidden his love for her before, but now he was able to admit it readily, He loved Hitomi Kanzaki.
He was respected and loved by his people, but still, no one understood him. Even Millerna had hinted that he should get married. The only people who didn't dare to suggest it were Allen and Merle, but even they couldn't understand his pain.
He remembered the first time he saw her, not many people had ever stood up to him. Her spirit was full of fire, but she was still the most graceful creature he had ever met. Her strength of mind was great, her strength of heart greater. He took out the only reminder he had of her, her pendant. It was smooth and cool under his fingers, the startling pink stone pulling him in. If he looked hard enough he could almost see her again. But…no, that would be too painful; memories were hard enough to handle, but the real thing…too painful.
God, why pain, why suffering, why for them? He was in love with her, but he could never have her. It hurt, but he had to deal with…the pain.
Two souls, broken apart by fate, pain and suffering caused by eternal love. Soul mates torn by two worlds, two homes. Will they be reunited? Who knows, but the pain will last until then.
Pain
The rain fell hard, drenching her clothes. The droplets stabbed at her skin, like tiny knifepoints, causing her body to go numb. But it didn't numb the pain. The excruciating pain. The pain that caused her eyes to glaze over, the pain that filled her heart. No, nothing could lessen that pain for her.
She got up off the bench, and started to walk home. She walked on, ignoring the looks of passers-by. She already knew what they were saying, the rumours, the accusations, the pity. She had tried to explain her absence, but naturally no one believed her, not even Yukari and Amano. They had forgotten both encounters with Van and everyone had their own theories about her disappearance. Drugs, kidnap, brain washing, none of this was true, but it was more plausible than the actual truth. Wars, dragons, knights and princesses, they were all legends. Allen, Chid, Millerna, Merle, Dryden and Van, no one knew about them and they didn't want to find out.
Van. All she had to remind herself of him was his feather. Not that she needed it. His intoxicating scent still haunted her. It was hard to describe, clean, woody with a slight hint of musk and brimstone. At times she could still feel his touch, velvety soft and radiating warmth. But the feather was still a great help, without it she didn't think she could have survived so long. She got it out of her 'Gaea' box as soon as she got home, after a distracted greeting to her worried mother. The feather, though slightly worn from her nearly constant caresses, shone as brightly as on the day it was given. She lay back on her bed, eyes closed, gently stroking the feather and remembered. The journeys, battles and countless arguments. Funny, she had been so worked up about them then, but now…she'd give anything to even have an argument with him. Anything to see him, be with him. But it was impossible. They were of two different worlds and she had already made her decision. She knew it was the right thing to do, but…home wasn't home anymore. She still loved her family, but it wasn't enough. When she thought of home, it evoked images of Gaea, the rolling hills of Fanelia, the monuments of Freid and the bustling metropolis of Austuria. She put the feather back in the box and sifted through the other contents. The feather, scraps of the dress Millerna had given her, some dried Fanelian flowers, her running kit and her diary. She picked up the small book that held so many memories, though her feelings were slightly skewed at the time. She had written in the book scrupulously, everyday before she fell asleep. She turned to a page at random and started to read…
"…God, I can't believe how rude and cold Van was today! Eurgh, that guy can be such a jerk! I swear he has no feelings! Not like Allan, he's so sensitive and really dreamy. He cares about other people, not like another person I could mention, but won't…"
She smiled at how she had misinterpreted Van during the most part of her stay in Gaea. His coldness was only a cover for his feelings, his rudeness a cover for his pain.
She shut her diary, her smile gone. She missed him, wanted him, needed him. Why did they have to go through this…suffering? Why her, why him. It wasn't fair, but then…life was never fair.
*****
The sun shone brightly, covering the fields of Fanelia in a warm light. It was mocking him, his mood, his pain. Instead of warming him the light only caused his eyes to water, hot tears burning his cheeks.
He had just talked to his advisors. They had all avoided his gaze, not wanting to look at him as they announced the news he had been waiting for. He had to find a Queen for Fanelia and they had the 'perfect' candidate. But…he couldn't, it was his duty, his vocation, but still he couldn't do it, for one simple reason.
Hitomi. Beautiful, kind, she was truly perfect in his eyes. He remembered every little thing about her. Her sweet, flowery, slightly cinnamony scent. Shining emerald green eyes, silky sandy blonde hair, the softest skin imaginable. His need for her overpowered him at times, the need to touch, feel. He wanted to love her, posses her. He might have hidden his love for her before, but now he was able to admit it readily, He loved Hitomi Kanzaki.
He was respected and loved by his people, but still, no one understood him. Even Millerna had hinted that he should get married. The only people who didn't dare to suggest it were Allen and Merle, but even they couldn't understand his pain.
He remembered the first time he saw her, not many people had ever stood up to him. Her spirit was full of fire, but she was still the most graceful creature he had ever met. Her strength of mind was great, her strength of heart greater. He took out the only reminder he had of her, her pendant. It was smooth and cool under his fingers, the startling pink stone pulling him in. If he looked hard enough he could almost see her again. But…no, that would be too painful; memories were hard enough to handle, but the real thing…too painful.
God, why pain, why suffering, why for them? He was in love with her, but he could never have her. It hurt, but he had to deal with…the pain.
Two souls, broken apart by fate, pain and suffering caused by eternal love. Soul mates torn by two worlds, two homes. Will they be reunited? Who knows, but the pain will last until then.