Title: Boredomius Extremius and the Cures
Warnings: Strong language and gay pilots (To put it simply.)
Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the Gundam Pilots. Duos Pikachu plushie is, however, mine.
Trowa and Quatre went to help Wufei plug the blood exploding from his nose with excessive usage of tissue paper…and…well, newspaper. It's very absorbent! Heero and Duo were left in the living room to pack the game of twister up.
"Fun game, huh." Duo commented, sensing the cold attitude of the Heero he knew so well sweep across the room, even when the youth said nothing. Heero grunted a low "Hn" as response while he neatly folded up the Twister mat. Duo sweatdropped and started picking fluff off the carpet while Heero replaced the lid on the box, and set it on the shelf again. Still not saying a word to Duo when he passed him, the soldier sat down on the sofa, folded his legs under him, and stared at….nothing.
"Ehhh…whatcha wanna do now?" he asked lightly, and noticed that he'd pulled out a large patch of the carpet out and abruptly stopped, sweeping the stuff away with his hand and sitting on the scar.
Heero remained as silent as ever but finally said in his cold monotonous voice.
"Hn."
"I…see. Well, there's no game entitled 'Hn', I'm afraid" he said, trying to joke his way out of an uncomfortable situation once more. He was about to open his mouth again to break the awkward silence, but was interrupted as Wufei, with two pieces of cotton wool sticking out of his nose, stormed into the room, looking all…superior and smug as he usually did.
"Ha! You gay faggot bastard, Heero! I *KNEW* you were just as weak as Maxwell!" Wufei has a smirk on his face that made Duo gag, and he silently fumed, planning to massacre Wufeis lower extremities with a butcher knife as soon as there was a chance to.
Heero, naturally, remained dead silent, not even looking at Wufei. Wufei hesitated for a few seconds, but went on with his ranting.
"My theory is correct! I am a genius!" he nodded triumphantly and folded his arms over his chest. He reminded them all of a Chinese emperor – except they doubted even those rich, got-it-all oldies didn't compare to Wufei when it came to being full or yourself. Quatre whimpered, wondering what Heeros reaction would be.
To everyone's surprise, not least Duos, Heero remained silent. Wufei stopped, and looked stupefied. Trowa raised an eyebrow and Quatres eyes widened. Duo reached over and tapped Heero's shoulder gently.
"Uh…Heero?"
"Yes."
"Oh…n-nothing. Nothing at all." Duo didn't know what else to say and shuffled away from Heero, whom appeared to be a time bomb. He was *too* calm for his own good. The remaining four pilots slowly backed towards the door. Step by step, keeping their eyes fixed unblinkingly on Heero.
"We'll just…just be going now…yeah…ehehe…shout if you need anything…" Duo stammered as he fumbled for the doorknob behind him. Quatre looked at him in alarm, trying to use his mind to will Duo to OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY! Trowa came to his aid, reached for the knob and turned it slowly, opening the door and letting the others tumble backwards out. He himself slowly backed out of the room in silence and closed it behind him.
And left Heero to ponder.
*
An hour later, after consuming a whole lot of tea in the kitchen, Duo peeked his head in through the door. To his awe, Heero was still sitting on the sofa. Still staring straight in front of him. Duo tried to come up with something nifty to say…but he had jokers-block.
"So…you're…still sitting here?" was all that left his fakely grinning mouth, sliding the door open and stepping in.
"Yes."
"Oh…well…um…whatcha been doing..ehehe..?" Duo sat down on a chair as far away from the mute boy as possible. There was another one of those long awkward silences, during which Duo was busy massacring the furniture. This time it was his nails turning the material across the chair into scrawny strands. Heero took a small breath, barely visible, and stood up. As he walked past Duo he said in a quiet but firm voice.
"Will you teach me how to play charades." And there was no need to explain the lack of 'question' sounding tributes to that.
Duo was…well, baffled. He stopped hurting the poor defenseless sofa and blinked rapidly a few times consecutively.
"Uh…Sure!" Duo was glad to be back in a field where he was the best player. Sort of. He bustled out again in the fashion of an old cleaning lady, and came back with the rest of the pilots, who were all a bit edgy and afraid to get near Heero. It was ok when he exploded in a savage rage of anger, but silence…? Nuh-uh, too creepy.
"Charades. Hm. I quite like that game." stated Trowa.
"You would…mime-boy." snapped Wufei, touching the tip of his red-stained nose carefully.
"Heeeeeey…just because YOU are a loudmouth doesn't mean everyone has to be!" Quatre yelled at Wufei.
"Loudmouth? LOUDMOUTH!? Whom're you calling loudmouth!" he screamed back with a decibel level that shook the house. Duo butted in and took on a very quiet voice.
"You." Wufei face faulted and he dragged himself over to a chair and sat there, sulking. Quatre clung to Trowas arm and stuck his tongue out at Wufei, who responded in the same manner. Duo slapped his hand to his head and dragged it down his face.
"I'm surrounded by screaming little babies." he said in a would-be-pre- school-teacher voice, wagging his finger at them and putting on the expression you often see when a teacher is scolding a little child for bringing worms into class. The other four remained silent. Two seconds later, Wufei and Quatre burst out laughing.
"Oi…" Duo pouted, "it wasn't *MEANT* to be funny."
"I doubt you could do anything that wasn't." Heero stated, the sudden appearance of his voice shocking Duo slightly. He lit up.
"You think I'm funny?"
"If it's a synonym to stupid."
Now it was Duos turn to face fault, which he of course did in such an exact fashion of the anime style that Quatre and Wufei were rolling around on the carpet in a fit of mad laughter. And they didn't stop either. For a full five minutes more like it. They were acting rather deranged.
"That's odd…I didn't put anything I thought would have *THAT* much effect on them in their drinks…" Duo mumbled more to himself than anyone else.
Trowa and Heero whipped around and stared at him.
"You WHAT?" Duo tried to look innocent.
"Don't worry, it's not..not a drug..it's this..eh..well, this thing..chemical if you call it that, that I created..and.."
"And it makes people high."
"High is such a strong word…er..I was just testing it! Please don't tell them!" Duo got down on his knees and pleaded to two dark-haired boys, both of whom looked down at the childish pilot with dead serious expressions. One by one, they shook their heads solemnly, looking like Duo had done with his teacher imitation, only with the humor removed completely. The three looked over at Quatre and Wufei, who seemed to have been triggered off by the laughing, and were now reading out loud from a comic book and commenting loudly about the grammar mistakes and other unimportant aspects of the comic, issuing sudden bursts of insane laughter from time to time.
"Well. While nasal volcano and grammar teacher are busy being…critical of the literature, you can teach me charades" Heero commanded with a finality in his voice, and Duo got up quickly, knowing he owed them big time. Wufei wouldn't have responded well to being told he was drugged. And Quatre…well he might…um…well it's not nice to do that to Quatre!
Trowa had found a notebook, and was busy scribbling down (Scribbling for him was exceptionally neat and elegant) different phrases for them to use. He wasn't planning on taking part. He was too good. Even Trowa had an ego.
"Okie then!" Duo was sweating slightly, flinching whenever he heard Wufei comment loudly about the weak authors of the comic, who couldn't even spell 'at' right in their stories. Of course, the actual word was 'all', but he couldn't tell the difference.
Trowa straightened himself and gave them both a quick explanation of the game, then proceeded to act out the phrase 'bulls eye' without using any reference to his clothes, or his body. He began with the word 'bull', but stomping his foot in the ground and symbolizing horns with his fingers. To Duos and Heeros surprise, he even romped around the room a couple of times, kicking and charging like a bull does. Anyone would be able to tell what it was. Well, except for the two pilots watching.
"Eh..donkey! Mule! Jackass! ASS!" Duo said. Heero just looked…well, he couldn't say anything for the moment.
Trowa rolled his eyes at Duos first try and made two circles around his own eyes with his fingers to indicate eyes without pointing.
"Er….ass circle?"
Trowa glared.
"Ass…hoop?"
Trowa glared some more and made the horns on the bull again, followed by the finger-glasses.
"…I'VE GOT IT!"
Heero looked impressed, and Trowas expression lightened.
"ASSHOLE!" Duo called out, dancing about the room like an idiot, celebrating.
Heero and Trowa looked at each other, then at Duo, then at each other, and back at the Shinigami.
"Duo." Heero said quietly, but got no response.
"DUO!!" He roared, causing the braided (and hyper) pilot to stop dead in his tracks.
"Eh…yes?"
"HOW can you turn a rampaging animal with horns also known as a bull, and two eyes into anything other than 'bulls eye'?" Heero asked, quite curious as to how Duo had managed that, if he were to admit it. Duo pouted.
"Well it looked like an ass…and…well ass hoop makes no sense!"
Trowa and Heero sighed in unison, giving up hope totally for any future for Duo when the world no longer appreciated oddball humor. Duo just smiled and sat down on the sofa, twiddling his thumbs.
"Who's next?"
They took a few turns each, with Heero (after ten minutes of persuasion to take part, and being threatened by Duo that he would be the one with weird chemicals in his drink) managing to make the others guess after a full second of work. Well, it was easy. He had to act out himself, and Duo. It did look quite hilarious when Heero showed a long braid on his head using his arm, and romped around the room like a child of 3, acting just as Duo had done. It was actually a quite good impression. Trowa and Heero were stunned when Duo started doing the cancan, pursing his lips together and bulging his eyes in response to his task. which was 'sardines'. They had quite fun, even though Heero didn't even say a word when they decided to break for something to eat. They exited the room to hunt for something edible in the kitchen, and closed the door firmly behind them to lock out the noise made by the grammar teachers commenting, Quatre and Wufei, as they held up yet another magazine for inspection. This one was apparently the worst excuse for reading material Quatre had every laid his eyes on, and he gasped and lamented to Wufei.
They were still high.
To Be Continued
Authors note: Hehe..I'm starting to run out of ideas, but I think this fic will be approximately 2 chapters more..and as it is a..um..weird fic, it will probably have no real plot =D Isn't it a surprise that Heero, with no knowledge of the WORD charades even, knew about it…? I advice you not to write any WEIRD things on the back of any lists you're doing…*cough* Duo *cough*
Warnings: Strong language and gay pilots (To put it simply.)
Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the Gundam Pilots. Duos Pikachu plushie is, however, mine.
Trowa and Quatre went to help Wufei plug the blood exploding from his nose with excessive usage of tissue paper…and…well, newspaper. It's very absorbent! Heero and Duo were left in the living room to pack the game of twister up.
"Fun game, huh." Duo commented, sensing the cold attitude of the Heero he knew so well sweep across the room, even when the youth said nothing. Heero grunted a low "Hn" as response while he neatly folded up the Twister mat. Duo sweatdropped and started picking fluff off the carpet while Heero replaced the lid on the box, and set it on the shelf again. Still not saying a word to Duo when he passed him, the soldier sat down on the sofa, folded his legs under him, and stared at….nothing.
"Ehhh…whatcha wanna do now?" he asked lightly, and noticed that he'd pulled out a large patch of the carpet out and abruptly stopped, sweeping the stuff away with his hand and sitting on the scar.
Heero remained as silent as ever but finally said in his cold monotonous voice.
"Hn."
"I…see. Well, there's no game entitled 'Hn', I'm afraid" he said, trying to joke his way out of an uncomfortable situation once more. He was about to open his mouth again to break the awkward silence, but was interrupted as Wufei, with two pieces of cotton wool sticking out of his nose, stormed into the room, looking all…superior and smug as he usually did.
"Ha! You gay faggot bastard, Heero! I *KNEW* you were just as weak as Maxwell!" Wufei has a smirk on his face that made Duo gag, and he silently fumed, planning to massacre Wufeis lower extremities with a butcher knife as soon as there was a chance to.
Heero, naturally, remained dead silent, not even looking at Wufei. Wufei hesitated for a few seconds, but went on with his ranting.
"My theory is correct! I am a genius!" he nodded triumphantly and folded his arms over his chest. He reminded them all of a Chinese emperor – except they doubted even those rich, got-it-all oldies didn't compare to Wufei when it came to being full or yourself. Quatre whimpered, wondering what Heeros reaction would be.
To everyone's surprise, not least Duos, Heero remained silent. Wufei stopped, and looked stupefied. Trowa raised an eyebrow and Quatres eyes widened. Duo reached over and tapped Heero's shoulder gently.
"Uh…Heero?"
"Yes."
"Oh…n-nothing. Nothing at all." Duo didn't know what else to say and shuffled away from Heero, whom appeared to be a time bomb. He was *too* calm for his own good. The remaining four pilots slowly backed towards the door. Step by step, keeping their eyes fixed unblinkingly on Heero.
"We'll just…just be going now…yeah…ehehe…shout if you need anything…" Duo stammered as he fumbled for the doorknob behind him. Quatre looked at him in alarm, trying to use his mind to will Duo to OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY! Trowa came to his aid, reached for the knob and turned it slowly, opening the door and letting the others tumble backwards out. He himself slowly backed out of the room in silence and closed it behind him.
And left Heero to ponder.
*
An hour later, after consuming a whole lot of tea in the kitchen, Duo peeked his head in through the door. To his awe, Heero was still sitting on the sofa. Still staring straight in front of him. Duo tried to come up with something nifty to say…but he had jokers-block.
"So…you're…still sitting here?" was all that left his fakely grinning mouth, sliding the door open and stepping in.
"Yes."
"Oh…well…um…whatcha been doing..ehehe..?" Duo sat down on a chair as far away from the mute boy as possible. There was another one of those long awkward silences, during which Duo was busy massacring the furniture. This time it was his nails turning the material across the chair into scrawny strands. Heero took a small breath, barely visible, and stood up. As he walked past Duo he said in a quiet but firm voice.
"Will you teach me how to play charades." And there was no need to explain the lack of 'question' sounding tributes to that.
Duo was…well, baffled. He stopped hurting the poor defenseless sofa and blinked rapidly a few times consecutively.
"Uh…Sure!" Duo was glad to be back in a field where he was the best player. Sort of. He bustled out again in the fashion of an old cleaning lady, and came back with the rest of the pilots, who were all a bit edgy and afraid to get near Heero. It was ok when he exploded in a savage rage of anger, but silence…? Nuh-uh, too creepy.
"Charades. Hm. I quite like that game." stated Trowa.
"You would…mime-boy." snapped Wufei, touching the tip of his red-stained nose carefully.
"Heeeeeey…just because YOU are a loudmouth doesn't mean everyone has to be!" Quatre yelled at Wufei.
"Loudmouth? LOUDMOUTH!? Whom're you calling loudmouth!" he screamed back with a decibel level that shook the house. Duo butted in and took on a very quiet voice.
"You." Wufei face faulted and he dragged himself over to a chair and sat there, sulking. Quatre clung to Trowas arm and stuck his tongue out at Wufei, who responded in the same manner. Duo slapped his hand to his head and dragged it down his face.
"I'm surrounded by screaming little babies." he said in a would-be-pre- school-teacher voice, wagging his finger at them and putting on the expression you often see when a teacher is scolding a little child for bringing worms into class. The other four remained silent. Two seconds later, Wufei and Quatre burst out laughing.
"Oi…" Duo pouted, "it wasn't *MEANT* to be funny."
"I doubt you could do anything that wasn't." Heero stated, the sudden appearance of his voice shocking Duo slightly. He lit up.
"You think I'm funny?"
"If it's a synonym to stupid."
Now it was Duos turn to face fault, which he of course did in such an exact fashion of the anime style that Quatre and Wufei were rolling around on the carpet in a fit of mad laughter. And they didn't stop either. For a full five minutes more like it. They were acting rather deranged.
"That's odd…I didn't put anything I thought would have *THAT* much effect on them in their drinks…" Duo mumbled more to himself than anyone else.
Trowa and Heero whipped around and stared at him.
"You WHAT?" Duo tried to look innocent.
"Don't worry, it's not..not a drug..it's this..eh..well, this thing..chemical if you call it that, that I created..and.."
"And it makes people high."
"High is such a strong word…er..I was just testing it! Please don't tell them!" Duo got down on his knees and pleaded to two dark-haired boys, both of whom looked down at the childish pilot with dead serious expressions. One by one, they shook their heads solemnly, looking like Duo had done with his teacher imitation, only with the humor removed completely. The three looked over at Quatre and Wufei, who seemed to have been triggered off by the laughing, and were now reading out loud from a comic book and commenting loudly about the grammar mistakes and other unimportant aspects of the comic, issuing sudden bursts of insane laughter from time to time.
"Well. While nasal volcano and grammar teacher are busy being…critical of the literature, you can teach me charades" Heero commanded with a finality in his voice, and Duo got up quickly, knowing he owed them big time. Wufei wouldn't have responded well to being told he was drugged. And Quatre…well he might…um…well it's not nice to do that to Quatre!
Trowa had found a notebook, and was busy scribbling down (Scribbling for him was exceptionally neat and elegant) different phrases for them to use. He wasn't planning on taking part. He was too good. Even Trowa had an ego.
"Okie then!" Duo was sweating slightly, flinching whenever he heard Wufei comment loudly about the weak authors of the comic, who couldn't even spell 'at' right in their stories. Of course, the actual word was 'all', but he couldn't tell the difference.
Trowa straightened himself and gave them both a quick explanation of the game, then proceeded to act out the phrase 'bulls eye' without using any reference to his clothes, or his body. He began with the word 'bull', but stomping his foot in the ground and symbolizing horns with his fingers. To Duos and Heeros surprise, he even romped around the room a couple of times, kicking and charging like a bull does. Anyone would be able to tell what it was. Well, except for the two pilots watching.
"Eh..donkey! Mule! Jackass! ASS!" Duo said. Heero just looked…well, he couldn't say anything for the moment.
Trowa rolled his eyes at Duos first try and made two circles around his own eyes with his fingers to indicate eyes without pointing.
"Er….ass circle?"
Trowa glared.
"Ass…hoop?"
Trowa glared some more and made the horns on the bull again, followed by the finger-glasses.
"…I'VE GOT IT!"
Heero looked impressed, and Trowas expression lightened.
"ASSHOLE!" Duo called out, dancing about the room like an idiot, celebrating.
Heero and Trowa looked at each other, then at Duo, then at each other, and back at the Shinigami.
"Duo." Heero said quietly, but got no response.
"DUO!!" He roared, causing the braided (and hyper) pilot to stop dead in his tracks.
"Eh…yes?"
"HOW can you turn a rampaging animal with horns also known as a bull, and two eyes into anything other than 'bulls eye'?" Heero asked, quite curious as to how Duo had managed that, if he were to admit it. Duo pouted.
"Well it looked like an ass…and…well ass hoop makes no sense!"
Trowa and Heero sighed in unison, giving up hope totally for any future for Duo when the world no longer appreciated oddball humor. Duo just smiled and sat down on the sofa, twiddling his thumbs.
"Who's next?"
They took a few turns each, with Heero (after ten minutes of persuasion to take part, and being threatened by Duo that he would be the one with weird chemicals in his drink) managing to make the others guess after a full second of work. Well, it was easy. He had to act out himself, and Duo. It did look quite hilarious when Heero showed a long braid on his head using his arm, and romped around the room like a child of 3, acting just as Duo had done. It was actually a quite good impression. Trowa and Heero were stunned when Duo started doing the cancan, pursing his lips together and bulging his eyes in response to his task. which was 'sardines'. They had quite fun, even though Heero didn't even say a word when they decided to break for something to eat. They exited the room to hunt for something edible in the kitchen, and closed the door firmly behind them to lock out the noise made by the grammar teachers commenting, Quatre and Wufei, as they held up yet another magazine for inspection. This one was apparently the worst excuse for reading material Quatre had every laid his eyes on, and he gasped and lamented to Wufei.
They were still high.
To Be Continued
Authors note: Hehe..I'm starting to run out of ideas, but I think this fic will be approximately 2 chapters more..and as it is a..um..weird fic, it will probably have no real plot =D Isn't it a surprise that Heero, with no knowledge of the WORD charades even, knew about it…? I advice you not to write any WEIRD things on the back of any lists you're doing…*cough* Duo *cough*