Authors notes: I do not own these wonderful hobbits. Mr. JRR Tolkien does.
My intent is to provide reading material for other Pervy Hobbit Fanciers
such as myself without causing too much spinning in JRRT's grave. To this
effect I do not write slash, I try to keep the ages correct and restrict my
use of anachronistic contrivances.
I rewrote chapter 1 to fit the style of the next chapters. Nothing significant, just a few word changes and a more consistent use of paragraphs.
This chapter rated PG for nasty language. If you're old enough to figure it out you're probably old enough to read it.
Review. Most authors love to hear how they're doing. If you like someone's work, let them know. If you think it could use improving, let them know. If you think it stinks, well, remember what your mother said, "If you can't say anything nice, use your fists and deck the SoB".
********************
Killer Instinct
Chapter 2: Conker
Ted voiced his opinion again, louder, sure that this time, the snotty Brandybuck would rise to the challenge. Ted was treading on thin ice and didn't even know it. In fact for a hobbit who had lived in the Shire all his life, he should have had more brains than to taunt Meriadoc Brandybuck.
Slow to anger, or so it seemed, Merry appeared to have the temperament of an old work pony. Easy going, desiring not much more than a comfortable place to lounge and something good to eat. But Merry worked at that image. Daily. He was anything but easy going; calculating might be more like it and right now he knew he had better calculate on leaving before his temper got the best of him and he decked the smart-aleck miller's son.
Snagging Pippin's arm before the youngest Took could make his way to the bar for another, Merry suggested they leave.
But he'd not had nearly the ale he'd been saving up for, what with it being Saturday night and all and two just wasn't going to do and please, Merry, doesn't the new barmaid look luscious? Pippin gently pulled back in an attempt to break Merry's grip. Frodo just stood up, laid coin on the table for the bill and led the way out the door.
Ted beat them all outside. It was probably the cocky swagger of Ted's friends Dro and Adan who followed the three cousins out the door that started it. It could have been Ted's hand shoved in Merry's chest. Or it could have been that the moon laid full and heavy on the horizon and Merry was thinking on a million past slights that the overbearing conker continuously threw his way.
Frodo walked calmly past Ted without a word or a glance. Pippin made one last ditch to extricate himself from Merry's grasp. Merry started after Frodo, all but dragging an obviously unhappy cousin. Pippin stared at Ted. I COULD be having another right now, thank you very much.
Such a puppy, to be led away by his master for being disobedient. Ted could come up with some incredibly rude things to say. Are you going to lick his feet when you get home or is there some other treat for you to lick?
~ TBC
I rewrote chapter 1 to fit the style of the next chapters. Nothing significant, just a few word changes and a more consistent use of paragraphs.
This chapter rated PG for nasty language. If you're old enough to figure it out you're probably old enough to read it.
Review. Most authors love to hear how they're doing. If you like someone's work, let them know. If you think it could use improving, let them know. If you think it stinks, well, remember what your mother said, "If you can't say anything nice, use your fists and deck the SoB".
********************
Killer Instinct
Chapter 2: Conker
Ted voiced his opinion again, louder, sure that this time, the snotty Brandybuck would rise to the challenge. Ted was treading on thin ice and didn't even know it. In fact for a hobbit who had lived in the Shire all his life, he should have had more brains than to taunt Meriadoc Brandybuck.
Slow to anger, or so it seemed, Merry appeared to have the temperament of an old work pony. Easy going, desiring not much more than a comfortable place to lounge and something good to eat. But Merry worked at that image. Daily. He was anything but easy going; calculating might be more like it and right now he knew he had better calculate on leaving before his temper got the best of him and he decked the smart-aleck miller's son.
Snagging Pippin's arm before the youngest Took could make his way to the bar for another, Merry suggested they leave.
But he'd not had nearly the ale he'd been saving up for, what with it being Saturday night and all and two just wasn't going to do and please, Merry, doesn't the new barmaid look luscious? Pippin gently pulled back in an attempt to break Merry's grip. Frodo just stood up, laid coin on the table for the bill and led the way out the door.
Ted beat them all outside. It was probably the cocky swagger of Ted's friends Dro and Adan who followed the three cousins out the door that started it. It could have been Ted's hand shoved in Merry's chest. Or it could have been that the moon laid full and heavy on the horizon and Merry was thinking on a million past slights that the overbearing conker continuously threw his way.
Frodo walked calmly past Ted without a word or a glance. Pippin made one last ditch to extricate himself from Merry's grasp. Merry started after Frodo, all but dragging an obviously unhappy cousin. Pippin stared at Ted. I COULD be having another right now, thank you very much.
Such a puppy, to be led away by his master for being disobedient. Ted could come up with some incredibly rude things to say. Are you going to lick his feet when you get home or is there some other treat for you to lick?
~ TBC