Authors notes: I do not own these wonderful hobbits. Mr. JRR Tolkien does.
My intent is to provide reading material for other Pervy Hobbit Fanciers
such as myself without causing too much spinning in JRRT's grave. To this
effect I do not write slash, I try to keep the ages correct and restrict my
use of anachronistic contrivances. Catch me and correct me when you find
the errors, please.
Answering the question by Fool of a Took ~ I'm being "creative" again. I guess I should just stick to standard writing and not try any fancy stuff. But other writers are so ingenious at doing something different that I HAD to try my own hand. Not too swift, I guess. I intentionally left out quotation marks on all of the dialog. I changed the phrasing to try to work with this. It didn't come off as well as I would have liked. I'm reminded of the artist Matisse. I LOVED his early works. A truly wonderful painter. And then he had to go muck it all up by putting in garish colors and childish lines. Buggered it up in my opinion. I read that he was bored painting in the traditional methods and had a need to be creative, to experiment. So he changed his style and is still bashed today by traditionalists. I don't like his later works, but I can appreciate that he was trying something different. And I'm not even as good a writer as Matisse was an artist before I started to experiment.
OK ~ up for vote ~ should I rewrite this story to be more readable with quotes or can it stand alone with my odd variation? VOTE early VOTE often (by leaving a review)…..
This chapter rated PG for violence. If you read the last chapter and didn't faint then you can read this one. It's the same weasely rating, nothing really bad, but I believe in proper ratings.
Thanks for the reviews. I check every day to see if someone likes what I'm writing. If you like someone's work, let them know. If you think it could use improving, let them know. If you think it stinks, well, remember what your mother said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say it anonymously, let everyone know who you are".
********************
Killer Instinct
Chapter 4: Resolution
Merry was so white hot furious that everyone watching knew without a shadow of a doubt he would dash out Ted's brains on the tree if Ted so much as blinked.
Merry, no! Frodo fiercely whispered in Merry's ear. Frodo could see Merry's dilated pupils and feel Ted's nose against his cheek. Frodo tried to reason with Meriadoc --- this serves no purpose but an ill end. Frodo blinked, his lashes brushing Merry's cheek. Frodo now had his arm jammed up between Merry's two arms but he did not apply force. He was too afraid of the reaction. He managed to place his hand on Merry's opposite shoulder. Whether it was his voice, his hand, his own body wedged between the two or who knows, but something triggered a reaction in Merry who relaxed ever so slightly.
Ted gasped. Frodo wormed his fingers into Merry's hand clenching Ted's shirt, stepping between the two and nearly flattening Ted in his attempt to get Merry to back down even more. All this took place in less than half a minute.
Just as quickly as it started the clash ended. Dropping both hands and turning around Merry strode through the crowd. Everyone nearly fell over themselves trying to get out of the way of the enraged hobbit. Everyone except the youngest Took. He stood, mouth open, eyes wide, stunned into silence for once. Merry bowled him over without a thought.
As Ted stepped forward the blood drained from his head and he staggered. Frodo glared at him with a look that said more than any words could ever convey. Ted was damned lucky to be alive and he had better not EVER try that again. Ted managed a weak nod in acquiescence to the unspoken caution. The crowd had started to dissipate now that the excitement was over and all that was left of the original trouble were three hobbits feeling quite unlike socializing. Ted was humiliated beyond speaking, Frodo was aghast at the whole event and Pippin was bewildered as to why Merry had run him over instead of rejoicing that he had "won the fight".
After recovering his breath and settling his wits Ted was ashamed to see his hands shook violently. At least he hadn't wet himself. He'd heard about how Paddy Bracegirdle had peed his pants six years ago when he and Merry had come to blows and Merry had gotten the best of him in a similar situation. It was over an hour before Ted's nerves calmed enough for him to be able take his hands out of his pockets and not see them tremble. His pride never recovered.
~ TBC
Answering the question by Fool of a Took ~ I'm being "creative" again. I guess I should just stick to standard writing and not try any fancy stuff. But other writers are so ingenious at doing something different that I HAD to try my own hand. Not too swift, I guess. I intentionally left out quotation marks on all of the dialog. I changed the phrasing to try to work with this. It didn't come off as well as I would have liked. I'm reminded of the artist Matisse. I LOVED his early works. A truly wonderful painter. And then he had to go muck it all up by putting in garish colors and childish lines. Buggered it up in my opinion. I read that he was bored painting in the traditional methods and had a need to be creative, to experiment. So he changed his style and is still bashed today by traditionalists. I don't like his later works, but I can appreciate that he was trying something different. And I'm not even as good a writer as Matisse was an artist before I started to experiment.
OK ~ up for vote ~ should I rewrite this story to be more readable with quotes or can it stand alone with my odd variation? VOTE early VOTE often (by leaving a review)…..
This chapter rated PG for violence. If you read the last chapter and didn't faint then you can read this one. It's the same weasely rating, nothing really bad, but I believe in proper ratings.
Thanks for the reviews. I check every day to see if someone likes what I'm writing. If you like someone's work, let them know. If you think it could use improving, let them know. If you think it stinks, well, remember what your mother said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say it anonymously, let everyone know who you are".
********************
Killer Instinct
Chapter 4: Resolution
Merry was so white hot furious that everyone watching knew without a shadow of a doubt he would dash out Ted's brains on the tree if Ted so much as blinked.
Merry, no! Frodo fiercely whispered in Merry's ear. Frodo could see Merry's dilated pupils and feel Ted's nose against his cheek. Frodo tried to reason with Meriadoc --- this serves no purpose but an ill end. Frodo blinked, his lashes brushing Merry's cheek. Frodo now had his arm jammed up between Merry's two arms but he did not apply force. He was too afraid of the reaction. He managed to place his hand on Merry's opposite shoulder. Whether it was his voice, his hand, his own body wedged between the two or who knows, but something triggered a reaction in Merry who relaxed ever so slightly.
Ted gasped. Frodo wormed his fingers into Merry's hand clenching Ted's shirt, stepping between the two and nearly flattening Ted in his attempt to get Merry to back down even more. All this took place in less than half a minute.
Just as quickly as it started the clash ended. Dropping both hands and turning around Merry strode through the crowd. Everyone nearly fell over themselves trying to get out of the way of the enraged hobbit. Everyone except the youngest Took. He stood, mouth open, eyes wide, stunned into silence for once. Merry bowled him over without a thought.
As Ted stepped forward the blood drained from his head and he staggered. Frodo glared at him with a look that said more than any words could ever convey. Ted was damned lucky to be alive and he had better not EVER try that again. Ted managed a weak nod in acquiescence to the unspoken caution. The crowd had started to dissipate now that the excitement was over and all that was left of the original trouble were three hobbits feeling quite unlike socializing. Ted was humiliated beyond speaking, Frodo was aghast at the whole event and Pippin was bewildered as to why Merry had run him over instead of rejoicing that he had "won the fight".
After recovering his breath and settling his wits Ted was ashamed to see his hands shook violently. At least he hadn't wet himself. He'd heard about how Paddy Bracegirdle had peed his pants six years ago when he and Merry had come to blows and Merry had gotten the best of him in a similar situation. It was over an hour before Ted's nerves calmed enough for him to be able take his hands out of his pockets and not see them tremble. His pride never recovered.
~ TBC