~VII~

Amanda smiled contentedly as she soaked up the delightful sights and sounds of the perfect Virginia night. The breeze was uncommonly warm, the almost full moon shone brightly on the Shenandoah River and Lee's strong fingers were comfortably entwined with hers. Letting out a contented sigh, she leaned into him as they strolled along the riverbank in companionable silence.

"Cold?" she heard him ask as he lightly stroked her arm. "Maybe we should have headed straight back to the inn."

Amanda shook her head. "No, this is nice. It's so peaceful here." Looking up, she caught Lee's eye. "It's been a long time since we had a quiet moment to ourselves."

"I know," he replied in that deep voice she loved so well. "Not since our very special getaway."

Amanda felt a hot blush overtake her cheeks. Yes, she recalled that late November excursion to Pine Top very well. It was one of those golden memories she pulled out on evenings when Lee was tied up in meetings. On their own, just the two of them, she'd felt almost as if they'd traveled sideways in time. Though the skiing was phenomenal, they'd never left their cabin; the thick rug by the fire had been too tempting, the hot tub too inviting, the isolation too alluring.  It was a weekend she'd never forget, even if she wanted to; sometime during those glorious forty-eight hours, their birth control had failed utterly and completely.

"Here," Lee said as she shivered again. "Take this."

"No, I'm fine, really. You'll be cold."

Ignoring her protests, he gently wrapped her in his suit coat. "I can't have the mother of my children freezing to death," he teased. "I have big plans for her tonight." He bent over, and she felt his lips brush gently through her hair.

The gesture brought unexpected tears to her eyes. "I'm sorry about my mood earlier," she said, her words catching slightly. "I guess sometimes I feel like I'm still riding an emotional roller coaster. I shouldn't be, I know, not any more," she added in a breathless rush. "Not when everything turned out okay."

"That's the funny thing about stress. You get so used to it . . . " He shook his head, adding in a voice that was more guttural than usual, "Well, sometimes you don't notice it any more until it isn't there."

Amanda could only nod, her lips pursed tightly together. There was no denying the last nine months had levied a heavy emotional toll.  As if the still vivid memory of their son's arrival wasn't tough enough, the physical complications from his delivery posed a substantial risk to subsequent pregnancies. That little Jenny had been born, healthy and thriving, was nothing short of a miracle.

"You were always so positive about everything," Lee continued in obvious awe. "When I think about what might have happened. . . " They had reached a small stone balustrade, and he paused, turning to look out over the wide expanse of river. "Amanda," he said with feeling, "We . . . I . . . can't go through that again."

Moving closer, she slipped her hand into his. "That's why I had the surgery. You know there won't be another 'surprise'."

"I would have gladly . . . "

"I know. It was better this way." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I don't want to go through that again, either."

He let out a deep breath, bringing her hand to his lips. "I think I owe you an apology, too. These past months, I . . . well, I've let myself get too caught up in work." He frowned slightly, his eyes fixed on a spot on the distant riverbank. "I think maybe I did it to distance myself, so I wouldn't have to think about what could happen."

She pulled her hand from his, her fingers tenderly caressing his cheek. Slowly, tentatively, she turned his face back to hers. "I knew that," she said, her voice soft and low. "But we were lucky. Everything turned out okay."

"For which I'm very, very grateful." Leaning forward, he touched his lips lightly to hers. "And I promise, from now on, no more using the Agency as an emotional shield."

She nodded, her own eyes following the swiftly flowing current. She felt Lee move behind her, his arms slipping beneath the jacket she wore to wrap her in his embrace. Sighing sweetly, she leaned back against him.

"I don't have any illusions about your job, Lee," she told him in a low voice. "I've known right from the start how much time and energy it requires." As she felt him tighten his hold, she added, "Remember that day Billy came to your hospital room? And he talked about rebuilding what Dr. Smyth had destroyed?"

"Yeah," he said with an almost imperceptible nod. "I remember."

"There was a look in your eyes . . . no matter how much you said you wanted to, I knew you wouldn't – couldn't – walk away. So, you see, I understand. And I don't mind you being caught up in work. What I mind," she finished with a short sigh, "is not being caught up in work with you."

He gave her a tender squeeze, then released her. Folding his arms across his chest, he leaned back leisurely against the low stone barrier. "Is this your not so subtle way of telling me you're ready to come back?"

She smiled, shrugging her shoulders lightly. "I was thinking maybe part time for a while. Kind of ease back into things."

"What about Matt and Jenny?"

"I had a long talk with Mother last week. She really does want to watch them." She took a deep breath. "So . . ."

He flashed her a smile. "So that means I've got my partner back."

"You bet you do." She extended her hand, and he rose slowly to grasp it, their fingers entwining once again. "I'll even make you a promise of my own," she stated as they strolled leisurely along the path. "I'll work on putting my 'mother' hat on the shelf, at least part of the time."

He gave a short laugh. "I hear a 'but' coming."

"Old habits die hard, I guess." Shivering again, she pulled Lee's coat closer around her as they veered off the path, heading towards the Campus Inn.  As they fell back into step together, she added, "I don't know. This thing with Phillip and Joe . . . well, I can't help wanting to fix it. I guess I've always felt like it was somehow up to me to make sure my sons had a good relationship with their father."

His arm tightened around her as he pulled her closer. "That's not your responsibility," he said at last, choosing his words carefully. "Not anymore. Phillip and Jamie aren't little boys." Turning, he caught her eye, adding in a low voice, "And neither is Joe."

"I know, I know," she murmured softly. "He has to take some responsibility here."

"Some responsibility? Amanda . . ."

"Oh, Lee, it's hard to explain," she began, her words tumbling out. "I'm not defending him, really. I . . . well, I'm just used to standing between them, making sure everything's okay."

She heard him groan. "That's not a particularly comfortable place to be, Amanda."

"I know. But you've got to understand, for a long time, I was Phillip and Jamie's conduit to their father. I kept him a part of their lives even when he was a continent away. No small feat, believe me." She sighed as she felt Lee's breath on her forehead. "I'm not looking for sympathy here. I'm just trying to explain why I sometimes have a hard time letting go."

They had almost reached the Inn, and he stopped suddenly, drawing her off into the shadows. "Maybe that's something I can help you with," he whispered. He reached out to her with an endearing hesitancy, his right hand barely brushing her neck as he slid it slowly up to her face.  She gasped slightly as his fingers traced her lips with gentle affection. She took a small step forward, smiling faintly as he did the same. Their motions were jerky, hesitant, almost as if they were somehow afraid to touch. Then, suddenly, he grasped the edges of the suit coat he'd draped across her shoulders, pulling her in towards him.

She raised her hands as he crushed her against him, her fingers splayed across the smooth hardness of his chest. Through the light fabric of his cotton shirt, his skin felt invitingly warm. Their lips met, briefly at first, then with more urgency. She gave a little gasp when he finally let her go, lovingly wiping the lipstick from his mouth with a shaky smile.

"Lee," she whispered roughly, "let's go to our room."

Nodding, he leaned forward once again, his lips brushing across hers as he placed a guiding hand on her back. She sighed contentedly as they walked briskly through the lobby to the elevator. The ride to their floor was mercifully brief. They made their way down the hall in silent anticipation, Amanda shaking her head as Lee made a frantic search for the room key.

"Right here," he assured her, his relief evident as he drew the thin magnetic card from his back pocket. "Now, how does the old saying go? 'Alone at last'?"  Opening the door, he stepped aside to allow her to enter.

"Hey, Mom, Lee."

The low voice from the darkened room caught them both by surprise. Drawing a deep breath, Amanda quickly flipped on the light. "Phillip? I thought you were spending the evening with your dad and Carrie. What happened?"

"The same thing that always happens," he said disconsolately. "Dad and I had a big fight, then Dad and Carrie had a big fight. I just had to get out of there. My dorm was a zoo, so I came over here." He smiled self-consciously. "I kinda convinced the night housekeeper to let me in."

"Oh," she said, handing Lee his jacket as she sat down on the bed. Looking towards her son, she indicated the space beside her. "If you need to talk, we'll be happy to listen, you know that, Sweetheart."

Phillip hesitated. "Um, well. . . I appreciate the offer, but . . . I was . . . well, I was kind of hungry."

"Sure," Lee put in quickly. "Why don't you and your Mom go grab a bite to eat?"

"Well, the only place to get food this late is the Huddle," Phillip began, shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot. "And they only serve burgers." He looked at his mother, tensing slightly before letting his gaze rest eagerly on his stepfather.

Amanda read her son's eyes. "Oh, I think it's a little late for a burger for me," she replied, masking her disappointment with a yawn. "I'm kind of tired."

Phillip nodded, visibly relieved. "Lee?"

"Uh, sure," he answered haltingly as he quickly caught Amanda's eye. "I could eat."

Amanda gave them both an encouraging smile. "You guys have a good time."

Phillip thrust his hands in his pockets, shooting his mother a slightly guilty look. "Are you sure, Mom?"

"Yes," she stated, almost too quickly. "I'm sure. Go on."

"Okay," Phillip agreed as he practically bolted for the door. "Come on, Lee."

Amanda watched in mild dismay. Subtlety was definitely not Phillip's strong suit tonight. Her son must be more upset than she'd guessed. She looked at Lee once more. "Go on," she whispered with careful casualness.

He raised an eyebrow, then nodded, blowing her a quick kiss as he followed Phillip to the door.

TBC…