By HiBob
Credits: Harry Potter et.al. are owned by JK Rowling. Malcolm in the Middle is owned by Fox. This applies to the entire story, and is the only disclaimer you will ever see.
Chapter 1: Introduction
This story is a crossover. That means that it is a story that combines the characters of two disparate sources. In this case, it combines the characters of the Harry Potter novels with the characters from an American TV series called Malcolm in the Middle.
For those of you who do not know who Harry Potter is, I would like to say congratulations on waking up from your coma. Seriously, there are people who know the movie, but not the book, or only know about it from what they have been told. This description is for them.
Harry Potter is the main character. He grew up in a closet, until he was eleven. Then he found out he was a wizard, and went off to Hogwarts to study magic. He and his friends are in Gryffindor.
Ron Weasley is his best friend at Hogwarts. He is the poor but proud type, with plenty of older brothers, and a younger sister. He helps Harry fell better by doing as poorly as him in classes, then makes him feel bad by beating him at wizard chess.
Hermione Granger is also a close friend, every since the three of them had a close call in the girls bathroom with a troll. (Don't ask.) She is the smart one of the group. She is also the only one in the current student body who has read "Hogwarts, a History."
Draco Malfoy is the evil kid on the block. He hates Harry because Harry doesn't like him. He is in Slytherin. All the evil students are in Slytherin.
Voldemort is the evil bad guy in the books. He killed Harry's Parents, and he wasn't nice about it. He tried to kill Harry, but failed. (All Harry got was a scar shaped like a lightning bolt. He also gained the ability to talk to snakes, and other reptiles. As a result, he is the only person in the Greater London Area who honestly understands what lawyers are talking about.) Voldie, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, to use his nom de plume (pen name), is an alumnus of Slytherin.
Albus Dumbledore is the headmaster of Hogwarts. He is 150 years old, and knows everything. He only makes mistakes when Harry is prepared to jump in and save the day.
Everybody Else in the book is either a student or a teacher. There is Hagrid, who teaches how to care for animals, a nice guy for a giant. Severus Snape is a good guy, although he hates everyone who is not a Slytherin. He hates Harry because Harry's father saved his life. (Go figure.) Professor Flitwick is short. Professor Binns is dead. Professor McGonagall is good.
Honorable mentions go to Fred and George Weasley AKA The Twins. They play Quidditch with Harry, and pranks on everyone else. Also appearing is Peeves the Poltergeist, who is a general nuisance.
Many people will not know who Malcolm is. This introduction is for them.
The family consists of six people, the father and mother, and their four sons.
Lois is the mother. She is a control freak. Her goal in life is to make all of the men in her life behave. Her major weapons are fear and intimidation.
Hal is the father. He is best known for having his wife shave the excessive hair off his body while he stands naked in the kitchen reading the newspaper. He loves his wife, and he loves the fact that she tries to control him. He also loves motorcycles, Racing Cars and figure skating.
Francis is the eldest born child. He is currently at military school in Alabama, in the vain hope that he will learn the error of his ways. His parents would be surprised to find out that, not only has he learned the errors of his ways, he has taught them to his fellow students at the academy.
Of the remaining three brothers, Reese is the oldest. He is a professional bully. It is rumored that he holds seminars for the benefit of other bullies in the state. He will bully anyone, especially his brothers. (He will also make sure he is the only one who bullies his brothers.)
The youngest brother is Dewey. Dewey always seems to be in the way. His brothers routinely abandon him, so they can go do what they want. He acts quirky, and when carefully observed, will confuse you. He is not to be underestimated. He is rumored to be as smart as his middle brother, Malcolm, but you know how rumors are.
Malcolm is the star of the show. He is a normal boy, who is discovered to have a large IQ, and is put in a special class of gifted youngsters, called the Krelbournes. He hates it. The teacher gives them stupid class assignments, such as medieval dancing in period costumes. All of his classmates would give nerds a bad name. On top of all of this, it was his family that put the dys into dysfunctional. His stated goal in life is to behave just like a normal child. The problem is that he has no clue as to what normal means.
In the context of the story, Harry is entering his third year at Hogwarts. He is 13. Malcolm has finished fifth grade, the year he became a Krelbourne. He is 11. Reese is placed as 13. Dewey is 4 years younger than Malcolm. It is September 1, and for some unexplained reason, Malcolm and his family are in London, and at Kings Cross Station. (If you need an explanation, try this. They are on vacation, and are heading to the borderlands of Scotland on a final excursion before returning home. If you want to know how they could afford it, they won a contest or something. After all, the story is about what happened when they got there. How they got there doesn't matter to the story and it is just a bunch of nitpicking that drives me up the wall))
The main effort of this, and all crossover stories in general, is to have the characters interact as they normally would. For example, I would not have Reese fall in love with Hermione, unless it happened in such a way as to make him look completely stupid. Nor would I have Hermione return his love unless she had a frontal lobotomy. These two characters would never mesh in that way.
Malcolm is the perfect archetype. He can be as abrasive as his brother, but he always tries to present a good side. On the other hand, he will be very polite, while he thinks of a devious plan to use against someone, probably his brother. He will quickly join almost any group, and can fit in anywhere if he tries. Yet, despite his chameleon nature, he has a distinct personality which always shows through.
In the show, Malcolm has the habit of turning to the camera, and revealing his personal thoughts. This habit is adapted to the story by putting these thoughts in [Brackets]. Enjoy the reading, and flame the mistakes.