Three Part Harmony: Once
by Maureen
music and lyrics by Pearl Jam
This is a three story arc which links the songs Alive, Once and Garden by Pearl Jam. It begins as the story of Eddie Vedder (lead singer of Pearl Jam) and continues as a possible outcome of the real events. This story completely ignores Jamie becoming an EMT, it is a work of fiction and no money is being made.
***
"Hey sweetie," Jamie's mother said, from her side of the picnic table. An orderly stood a few feet away, pretending like she didn't care about what was being said. She was probably recording the conversation for future session with the doctor.
Jamie for his part tried to ignore where he was and who he was with. "Hi mom," he replied back. On the other side of the picnic table was his caseworker with child protective services. He was only allowed supervised visits with his mother and since she still was not very stable in his presence, the orderly was necessary too.
"How're you doing?" she asked casually, careful not to touch his hand on the table. Other than a hug at the beginning and end of the visits, touching was not allowed.
"Not bad," he replied, wishing he could tell her how much he hated being in foster care. No one wanted a fifteen-year-old male foster child.
"You're taller," she answered, small talk between strangers, not mother and child. Neither mentioned why she was at the hospital or who put her in there.
"It's been six months, Mom. I'm almost 16."
"I know. I'll send you a card for your birthday, okay?"
"Okay," what else was he supposed to say? 'No thanks mom, I don't want a birthday card from some psycho?'.
"Time," the orderly announced, heading towards the table. Like puppets Jamie and his mother stood, hugged and separated.
Jamie hated these quarterly visits but the court wanted him to maintain contact with his mother. The woman that caused him nightmares and had made it impossible for him to talk to any girl his age other than his friend, Catie.
I admit it, what's to say?
I'll relive it, without pain
Backstreet lover on the side
Of the road
I got a bomb in my temple
That is gonna explode
I got a .16 gauge buried
Under my clothes, I play
"Fostie fostie!" the kids in his science class taunted before school started.
Jamie ignored them and took his seat in the back of the classroom. They always tormented him, saying how his parents didn't want him or love him, how nobody did.
What was sad was that they were partially right. Nobody wanted him. His foster parents certainly didn't and his mother couldn't. There was no one sane who did.
"Oh shut up! Losers!" A clear voice rang out, sick of having to repeat that phrase over and over every day. "Hey Jamie."
Jamie looked up from where his head lay on the desk and saw a blue carebears t-shirt on his best friend, Catie Roth. "Hey Catie," he muttered.
He hated his life. His stupid foster family that didn't bother to even pretend to care about him, the nightmares, the taunting and teasing at school, not being able to talk to any girl other than Catie, everything was making him miserable. The only good thing was Catie. Which was weird since she was a girl, but he saw her a completely nonsexual way.
Jamie sighed, let's just face it, he thought, I'm screwed up sexually for life.
It wasn't that he liked men at all, he was completely straight, but he got so nauseous whenever he thought of talking to a girl that he was afraid he'd throw up on her or worse if he actually tried to talk to her. Damn his mother. Damn the kids in his classes. Damn his foster family.
Damn it all.
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself
"Hey boy!" Rob called to Jamie from the living room, it was Jamie's birthday but other than the check he received from CPS he hadn't gotten anything from anybody except Catie, she gave him a new chain for his wallet.
"Yes sir?" Jamie asked, joining him. He knew that if he didn't come when called he'd regret it.
"You know anything about guns?"
"No sir," Jamie replied.
"This here's a .16 gauge pistol. Very good weapon. Easy to fire, easy to load. Let me show you..."
Jamie was completely uninterested in guns, but as his foster father spoke, he realized what potential the small piece of metal had.
Oh try and mimic, what's insane?
I am in it, where do I stand?
Indian summer, and I hate the heat
I got a backstreet lover on the passenger seat
I got my hand in my pocket
So determined
Discreet, I pray
The following Monday, he took the pistol out of the drawer. A surprise for his science class.
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself
Once upon a time I could control myself
The pistol was more difficult to shoot than he had anticipated. He thought the bullets in the round would be enough. He just wanted to scare them anyways, not really hurt anybody.
He didn't hit anybody either, despite firing all the bullets.
Everyone screamed, ducked under their desks. Then Catie walked in and saw what was going on.
Once upon a time I could lose myself
Once upon a time I could love myself
Once upon a time I could love you
"Jamie..." she moaned. She didn't have to say anymore.
Once...
by Maureen
music and lyrics by Pearl Jam
This is a three story arc which links the songs Alive, Once and Garden by Pearl Jam. It begins as the story of Eddie Vedder (lead singer of Pearl Jam) and continues as a possible outcome of the real events. This story completely ignores Jamie becoming an EMT, it is a work of fiction and no money is being made.
***
"Hey sweetie," Jamie's mother said, from her side of the picnic table. An orderly stood a few feet away, pretending like she didn't care about what was being said. She was probably recording the conversation for future session with the doctor.
Jamie for his part tried to ignore where he was and who he was with. "Hi mom," he replied back. On the other side of the picnic table was his caseworker with child protective services. He was only allowed supervised visits with his mother and since she still was not very stable in his presence, the orderly was necessary too.
"How're you doing?" she asked casually, careful not to touch his hand on the table. Other than a hug at the beginning and end of the visits, touching was not allowed.
"Not bad," he replied, wishing he could tell her how much he hated being in foster care. No one wanted a fifteen-year-old male foster child.
"You're taller," she answered, small talk between strangers, not mother and child. Neither mentioned why she was at the hospital or who put her in there.
"It's been six months, Mom. I'm almost 16."
"I know. I'll send you a card for your birthday, okay?"
"Okay," what else was he supposed to say? 'No thanks mom, I don't want a birthday card from some psycho?'.
"Time," the orderly announced, heading towards the table. Like puppets Jamie and his mother stood, hugged and separated.
Jamie hated these quarterly visits but the court wanted him to maintain contact with his mother. The woman that caused him nightmares and had made it impossible for him to talk to any girl his age other than his friend, Catie.
I admit it, what's to say?
I'll relive it, without pain
Backstreet lover on the side
Of the road
I got a bomb in my temple
That is gonna explode
I got a .16 gauge buried
Under my clothes, I play
"Fostie fostie!" the kids in his science class taunted before school started.
Jamie ignored them and took his seat in the back of the classroom. They always tormented him, saying how his parents didn't want him or love him, how nobody did.
What was sad was that they were partially right. Nobody wanted him. His foster parents certainly didn't and his mother couldn't. There was no one sane who did.
"Oh shut up! Losers!" A clear voice rang out, sick of having to repeat that phrase over and over every day. "Hey Jamie."
Jamie looked up from where his head lay on the desk and saw a blue carebears t-shirt on his best friend, Catie Roth. "Hey Catie," he muttered.
He hated his life. His stupid foster family that didn't bother to even pretend to care about him, the nightmares, the taunting and teasing at school, not being able to talk to any girl other than Catie, everything was making him miserable. The only good thing was Catie. Which was weird since she was a girl, but he saw her a completely nonsexual way.
Jamie sighed, let's just face it, he thought, I'm screwed up sexually for life.
It wasn't that he liked men at all, he was completely straight, but he got so nauseous whenever he thought of talking to a girl that he was afraid he'd throw up on her or worse if he actually tried to talk to her. Damn his mother. Damn the kids in his classes. Damn his foster family.
Damn it all.
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself
"Hey boy!" Rob called to Jamie from the living room, it was Jamie's birthday but other than the check he received from CPS he hadn't gotten anything from anybody except Catie, she gave him a new chain for his wallet.
"Yes sir?" Jamie asked, joining him. He knew that if he didn't come when called he'd regret it.
"You know anything about guns?"
"No sir," Jamie replied.
"This here's a .16 gauge pistol. Very good weapon. Easy to fire, easy to load. Let me show you..."
Jamie was completely uninterested in guns, but as his foster father spoke, he realized what potential the small piece of metal had.
Oh try and mimic, what's insane?
I am in it, where do I stand?
Indian summer, and I hate the heat
I got a backstreet lover on the passenger seat
I got my hand in my pocket
So determined
Discreet, I pray
The following Monday, he took the pistol out of the drawer. A surprise for his science class.
Once upon a time I could control myself
Once upon a time I could lose myself
Once upon a time I could control myself
The pistol was more difficult to shoot than he had anticipated. He thought the bullets in the round would be enough. He just wanted to scare them anyways, not really hurt anybody.
He didn't hit anybody either, despite firing all the bullets.
Everyone screamed, ducked under their desks. Then Catie walked in and saw what was going on.
Once upon a time I could lose myself
Once upon a time I could love myself
Once upon a time I could love you
"Jamie..." she moaned. She didn't have to say anymore.
Once...