(Back at the millionaire studio.)
REGIS
Ok, Ross. You are now going for $250,000. Tell me what three meats are in a subway's Italian Sub? A: Pepperoni, Bologna, Ham. B: Ham, Salami, and Pepperoni. C: Salami, Bologna, and Ham. Or D: Salami, Bologna, and Pepperoni.
ROSS
Regis, I have no idea but I would like to use my phone-a-friend.
REGIS
Who would you like to call?
ROSS
My friend Joey Tribiani.
REGIS
As in Dr. Drake Remoray?
ROSS
Yea. He likes Subway.
REGIS
This is my lucky day. He would never come on Regis and Kathy Lee because we never would have Pamela Anderson on. Our friends at AT&T will now try to contact Joey Tribani.
(Back at the apartment.)
RACHEL
I think I'm in labor! Where's Chandler?
JOEY
That's it I hope Ross isn't calling now because I'm calling the ambulance.
(Suddenly the phone rings. Joey picks it up.)
JOEY
Hello.
REGIS
Hello, this is Regis Philbin. Do you know why I'm calling?
JOEY
Sorry, I have to make an emergency phone call and my friend is in labor. Also, I'm not interested in your clear eyes.
(Joey hangs up the phone.)
(Back at the studio.)
REGIS
Looks like one of Mr. Tribiani's friends are in labor. Who else would you like to call?
(Ross stands up.)
ROSS
Rachel!
(He runs off the stage. Monica gets up from her seat and follows.)
(In the hospital. Rachel is on a bed. Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are next to her.)
CHANDLER
By the way guys, thanks for letting me out even though you were in a hurry.
JOEY
We couldn't handle your crying.
CHANDLER
Oh.
(Rachel starts to scream.)
PHOEBE
Here comes another one. Just breath in and out.
(Rachel continues to scream.)
PHOEBE
Good job!
(The doctor enters. It's the doctors played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.)
CLOONEY
So we meet again, Rachel.
WYLE
or is it Monica?
(They both start to laugh.)
CLOONEY
Here is the deal, you are about to go into the final stages, and we have your actual medical insurance so we are going to take you into the delivery room.
WYLE
You guys are going to have stay here unless one of you is the father.
ALL
No.
RACHEL
Can one of them come? The father probably is not coming.
(Ross and Monica run in. Ross is in his boxers.)
WYLE
Monica? And a half nude man.
RACHEL
That's the father.
CLOONEY
And he is half-naked.
ROSS
I didn't have time to take all the stuff out of my pockets, and the cufflinks, and whatever so I ripped off my clothes.
RACHEL
That is so sweet.
CLOONEY
Ok, we have to go.
(They wheel Rachel out of the room, and Ross follows.)
ROSS
We'll be back.
TO BE CONTINUED…
REGIS
Ok, Ross. You are now going for $250,000. Tell me what three meats are in a subway's Italian Sub? A: Pepperoni, Bologna, Ham. B: Ham, Salami, and Pepperoni. C: Salami, Bologna, and Ham. Or D: Salami, Bologna, and Pepperoni.
ROSS
Regis, I have no idea but I would like to use my phone-a-friend.
REGIS
Who would you like to call?
ROSS
My friend Joey Tribiani.
REGIS
As in Dr. Drake Remoray?
ROSS
Yea. He likes Subway.
REGIS
This is my lucky day. He would never come on Regis and Kathy Lee because we never would have Pamela Anderson on. Our friends at AT&T will now try to contact Joey Tribani.
(Back at the apartment.)
RACHEL
I think I'm in labor! Where's Chandler?
JOEY
That's it I hope Ross isn't calling now because I'm calling the ambulance.
(Suddenly the phone rings. Joey picks it up.)
JOEY
Hello.
REGIS
Hello, this is Regis Philbin. Do you know why I'm calling?
JOEY
Sorry, I have to make an emergency phone call and my friend is in labor. Also, I'm not interested in your clear eyes.
(Joey hangs up the phone.)
(Back at the studio.)
REGIS
Looks like one of Mr. Tribiani's friends are in labor. Who else would you like to call?
(Ross stands up.)
ROSS
Rachel!
(He runs off the stage. Monica gets up from her seat and follows.)
(In the hospital. Rachel is on a bed. Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are next to her.)
CHANDLER
By the way guys, thanks for letting me out even though you were in a hurry.
JOEY
We couldn't handle your crying.
CHANDLER
Oh.
(Rachel starts to scream.)
PHOEBE
Here comes another one. Just breath in and out.
(Rachel continues to scream.)
PHOEBE
Good job!
(The doctor enters. It's the doctors played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.)
CLOONEY
So we meet again, Rachel.
WYLE
or is it Monica?
(They both start to laugh.)
CLOONEY
Here is the deal, you are about to go into the final stages, and we have your actual medical insurance so we are going to take you into the delivery room.
WYLE
You guys are going to have stay here unless one of you is the father.
ALL
No.
RACHEL
Can one of them come? The father probably is not coming.
(Ross and Monica run in. Ross is in his boxers.)
WYLE
Monica? And a half nude man.
RACHEL
That's the father.
CLOONEY
And he is half-naked.
ROSS
I didn't have time to take all the stuff out of my pockets, and the cufflinks, and whatever so I ripped off my clothes.
RACHEL
That is so sweet.
CLOONEY
Ok, we have to go.
(They wheel Rachel out of the room, and Ross follows.)
ROSS
We'll be back.
TO BE CONTINUED…