A/N: Boy, this fic certainly turned out as crappy as the rest of them. I need some serious help with transitions. Also, I need some advice on getting out of the character's minds and getting into the reader's. All of these things can only be helped by a wonderful, critical beta-reader, which means someone is going to have to offer. (*Piercing eyes scan the crowd*) Please volunteer! I'll consider anyone as long as they can spell and make their subjects agree with their verbs! E-mail me/review me with your requests, then I'll ask you to send me a sample of your work (I don't think I can afford to be picky, but..eh, right?). Whatever the case, I seriously need a second opinion of some sort. I'm so tired of criticizing my own work, I just seem to have so many problems with the wrong things, and in the end it always turns out the same way. :( It's getting to me, really, I'm having nightmares about it. I really want to be a writer (and show up all 'dem hataz, plus come down with those stereotypes, u know?) and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get there (including reading those damned 1000+ pgs. of style manuals and all those Ernest Hemingways—run-on sentences, an aspiring author's worst nightmare!), so please help all you talented ppls out there! I promised Quack I wouldn't beg, but I just can't do it!!! Come on, ppl!!!!!!!!!!
Enough of the madness, on to the last-est chapter of the story (*sob* I honestly didn't mean for it to be 10000+ words, and 6 whole chs. ^_^;; more *bows tearfully*)
Sirius, Lily, Arabella, Remus, and Tom, the innkeeper, used the Floo Network to get into the Potters' Mansion as a first step to discovering where James was. His servants and house-elves had absolutely no clue. When Lily so smartly asked about past incidents when he had run away, the house-elves had said something about an old treehouse by the Quidditch Pitch near the fence. Sirius led them to the same treehouse, while suppressing memories of the many times when they played there. What if he never saw James again? What if Voldemort killed him? It was Lily's fault, he swore to himself, and stared lethally at the back of her head as she climbed up the small ladder. She was the only one light enough not to break it if James was by some chance in there.
Lily sensed Sirius' tension but figured that he would get over it sooner or later. This was not his matter to impinge on. (A/N: so I ended a sentence w/ a preposition! Lol, that was totally pointless...) James was not in the treehouse. Their next step was Diagon Alley, which Remus and Arabella scoured high and low in vain. Meanwhile, Sirius and Lily went to the International Apparition Department in the Muggle Airport customs department.
"Sir, did you by any chance sell an Apparition ticket to a James Potter?" Lily questioned anxiously.
"And you'd be…his wife?" Lily was about to reply in the negative.
"Uh, yes," she glanced at Sirius, who was the one that spoke, "Can we inquire of his destination?"
"I'm going to have to ask you to fill out this short questionna-"
"LISTEN, PAL," both Sirius and the receptionist jumped a foot, "I demand you tell me where James is or I'll curse you halfway to China with your short questionnaire! Now I may not look all that capable, but trust me, you do not want to find out what anger and frustration can do to a girl!!" By now, what little doubts that the receptionist had that she was angry and frustrated or James's wife had disappeared without a trace.
"Would you like a non-stop or via Frankfurt Madame?"
"Er," Sirius searched Lily for any sign of support, she stood tapping her foot impatiently, "I'd say non-stop, charge it to my account. It's Black, S-I-R-I-U-S," he spelled.
"Erm, Lily, we can go now."
"I thought so, where are we apparating?"
"Switzerland."
"Typical." With a toss of hair on Lily's part, they were off to the Potter's swiss cabin.
The fire was out, spiderwebs blanketed the wall and ceilings and the moths chewed away on the wooden floor. The cabin smelled of hickory and fresh snow. James was eating Chocolate Frogs in his room on the sixth floor along with atleast six, visible and voluptuous girls. Furthering Lily's fury, they were all wearing her usual white robes with velvet embroidery (only available at Madame Malkins Robes for all occasions ©).
"Rrroww."
"Heh, my words exactly, Padfoot!"
"What is going on here?"
"What does it look like, he hired strippers!" Sirius thought Lily must have been stupid.
"Sirius!"
"Erm, maybe I'll go watch the World Cup on the Network."
"No, why should you go! She's the one that's picked a wrong time to be jealous!"
"Go, Sirius, I'm not being jealous, he's just being insensitive…" Lily suddenly noticed one of the girls unbuttoning James's shirt and one doing…well…let's just leave it at that…"
"Hey! Hey! Shoo! No, his lap is not a chair! No, no, no, get off of him!!!! Darling, if you don't stop blowing into his ear…wait, no, GET OUT! NOW!" James's smile widened more and more as Lily made her share of comments to the strippers.
"Now, James, I didn't come here to beg for you forgiveness…" Lily was staring at the built in bathroom and literally spouting flames at the ears. They were turning almost purple. Another stripper girl, not even noticing Lily, exited with Sirius hot on her tracks. Let's just say that his animal instincts were getting to him.
When Lily had calmed down sufficiently, "James, *sigh* I'm not here to beg you for your forgiveness; It's just that the others miss you a lot."
"What others?" he nodded towards the door. They could hear moans from the next bedroom over.
"Okay, well Remus misses you."
"He has a girlfriend and he kicked me out of my own bedroom, that I payed for, for myself and them two."
"Bell?" she pleaded. James smiled and stood up. Lily prayed for him not to walk over to her, and, as predicted, he did. Their bodies were alarmingly close for the tenth billionth time. Lily stared blankly at him, it was like this was the final blow: she couldn't take having him so close to her, but yet figuratively, so far away.
"What are you afraid of?" He cupped her small face in one hand. He was surprised to find wet tears glistening in her eyes.
"Lily?" he prompted sternly.
"Potter, why don't you just-just leave me alone?"
"Lily. You were the one who came up here. I already left you alone."
"Oh. I forgot." James nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. Words could not describe how much he loved her. Why did she have to keep coming back to tread over his bleeding heart?
"They are the ones that want you back, not me!" she protested uncertainly.
"Lily. We are the only people in this room! Can you be honest to yourself and me for once?" James yelled wrathfully. Lily flinched at the anger in his voice. James stroked her cheek tenderly. She stepped back like his touch was white-hot fire.
"Lily, please! Listen to me! Why do you hold all of it inside yourself like this? You used to tell me that it wasn't healthy, remember?" The last statement was a faint whisper.
"How do you know what I go through Potter? How do you know how it feels to go through each day of your life knowing that you have no family? No one who loves you unconditionally? No one to tuck you in, wish you goodnight in the nights, atleast care that you're living? What am I supposed to just trust my heart with anyone, thinking…hoping it won't matter to them to bother hurting you? How can you tell me not to hold it inside myself. If I won't…well, If I didn't, then I would go crazy! I don't expect you to understand that, but atleast don't tell me what to do. I'm leaving, I don't even care if you come home or not." All the emotions coursed freely down her cheek and her eyes were red from lack of sleep. James attempted nothing until she touched the doorknob to walk out of the door.
Softly, he replied to her, "Just listen to yourself Evans. How can you say that I am no one? Every night I wish you goodnight, Everyday I show you that I love you, if not tell you, and Lily, I have no one to call a family either." Lily bowed her head. "Again, like always, you are thinking of yourself. You have Sirius, Remus, Lina, Bell…me. Even though they've passed on from this life, you hold your parents and Tai in your heart. As much as I'd hate to admit it, Snape still loves you unconditionally, and I," he raised his voice gradually, "I love you more than it takes to count all the stars in the sky."
Lily now looked him directly in the eyes, waiting for him to go on. She wiped a few strands of hair away from her eyes.
"You tell me that I don't understand that you can't just give your heart away. Don't you see, Evans? I gave you my own heart and all you've done so far is cook it in the fireplace!" James gestured wildly toward the fireplace in the room and Lily saw by the shadows that twilight had approached. Potter's eyes glowed fiercely in the growing darkness.
"All I've asked of you, all I still ask of you is that…for once," James paused for a long time, and Lily just stared expectantly, as the clock ticked and the tears died up on both faces. "For once, Lily, all I wanted of you is selflessness. I thought you would understand what I was going through…and atleast attempt to love me back. You couldn't even see past your own grief, that other people were suffering around you, and that all you had to do was help them to relieve yourself. Lily Evans, I expect nothing else of you than you have done now."
James sat back down on his large revolving 'boss' chair and continued munching on his Chocolate Frogs. Lily made a move to walk to him, but stopped abruptly. Again, James said,
"I'm sorry for snapping at you, Lily, I shouldn't pressure you like that." His voice wavered abnormally.
"No, I should be sorry James, and I hope you'll accept my apology." Lily turned the doorknob and almost walked out of the door…
"Evans, wait, come here." Lily walked up to him around the chair expecting some reminder of a something sticking out her nose or something judging by his monotonous tone.
James stuck out his foot and she fell on him and into the roomy chair. He kissed her slowly, slowly as he pryed her lips apart with his tongue while tracing her name on her neck with his thumb. When Lily found herself falling into the kiss, she touched the pressure point on his neck, and he jerked away from her.
"Does this mean you accept my apology?" A small smile was playing upon her pinkish mouth. 'So far, so good,' he thought. Lily looked away from him, slowly extending her hopelessly entangled limbs out of his grasp. She could see a fleeting whisper of agony in his countenance. His lap tensed under her and he too stirred to stand up, maybe wish her a last goodbye in their parting of ways. Oh, how he would never have expected to turn into such a hopeless romantic. An unreadable emotions twisted Lily's features.
"I'm just wondering if," she bit her lips in conflict. "…if I should or shouldn't be angry with you for calling me selfish?" He analyzed her incredulously.
"You selfish old bat!" he kidded.
"Hey! I'm only 20!"
"Oh? And what about the selfish part?"
"I decided I'm still mad at you for that, but as long as you don't tell Sirius we're going out, I'll forgive you."
"I like the way you think Miss Potter."
"Same here."
The next year, the same thoughts wrought a lovely life for the newfound 'Potters,' and they lived (or died) with hands still clasped. Finders Keepers. They had found each other, and would keep what they found.