Thanx to all for the wonderful and inspiring comments. I hope this keeps you wanting more. If not, I'll stop writing! Thanx again to Codes who always helps me! Enjoy!
The Choices in Life...
Chapter 2 - Where my loyalties lie
Then I realize, I can't do that to either, because deep down I'm terrified of failure. I need both of them in my lives so much one completes the other. Fred is my husband, my one true love, and the father of my children. Bosco is my best friend, he's been there through everything with me, and I can't just turn him away now, can I?
I take a moment to look back on everything and realize what I have to do. I have to send him home. Right now, my relationship, whatever is left of it, with Fred is more important that comforting Bosco, he'll understand, right? 'Of course, you're not a bad person for wanting to salvage your marriage.' "Oh, what would you know? Look at him; he totally wants you right now! Forget Fred! Go home with him, you wont regret it, trust me!" Her mind was arguing with itself. 'STOP IT! Both of you,' her conscious replied. 'I know what I have to do, so stop acting like kids, I already have 2, 3 if you count Bosco.' I can feel him try to pull himself back together, keep some dignity left, now is my chance to make my move. I push him back gently, noticing his blood-shot eyes. This is not going to be easy, but it's for the good of us both.
"Bos...Bos? Hey, everything's going to be fine ok? You did the best you could and that's all that matters. Look, I know it's hard to deal with, but this counseling, it's really going to help. Why don't you just go home, take a nice hot shower and I'll call you in the morning to see how you're doing?"
"What? You're asking me to leave? Faith, I just...I just...Yea, fine, whatever. Talk to you in the morning or whatever." And with that he was off. He pulled so fast from me, I thought for a second my arms were going with him.
"Bosco, please don't leave like this. I promised the kids we'd have cake, and I'd hate to disappoint them. You understand, right?" Ok, so I lied just a little. The kids are probably already asleep, but it's Fred I need to talk with. I feel it though, he's pissed off at me, and once again I can't blame him. Deep down as I watch him close the door behind him, I have to wonder what trouble he'll go and get himself into tonight, or even, what kind of woman he'll sleep with. I can't think of that though, the thing to worry about is not Bosco, but Fred and I. This is going to be a LONG night.
As I walk towards the bedroom I take a quick peek in on Emily and Charlie. Just as I thought, out like a light. Though, I'm sure Emily isn't going to be too pleased with me tomorrow, what else is new. I go to the bedroom door, which is partially close and see that Fred turned all the lights off but I know he's not sleeping, he's not snoring. I walk over to his side and sit on the end. He's in his silent treatment mood, so instead of talking I just sit there in silence with him and gently caress his back, which is now turned to me. I proceed to kiss his neck, trying anything to get a response out of him. He pulls away, he actually pulls away. That's it.
"Fred. Fred, look at me, I know you're not sleeping. Can we just talk about this?"
"Why Faith? So you can just defend him so more? I saw you two. You looked mighty happy together. Why don't you just go stay with him tonight?"
"How can you say that? I love you Fred, I do. No matter what you may have seen or what you believe, I will always love you and OUR children. What happened tonight with Bosco and the exam, let's just put it behind us. I can always take it again. I don't care about it though, I care about what's happening with you and I..." but he wouldn't let me finish.
"Faith, I really don't want to talk about this. Good night."
First I turn Bosco away thinking I was doing the right thing. Now I try to talk to Fred thinking that was also another good thing to do and in the end, it all just blew up in my face. I have a partner who is upset at me and a husband who wont even talk to me, what am I going to do now?
The Choices in Life...
Chapter 2 - Where my loyalties lie
Then I realize, I can't do that to either, because deep down I'm terrified of failure. I need both of them in my lives so much one completes the other. Fred is my husband, my one true love, and the father of my children. Bosco is my best friend, he's been there through everything with me, and I can't just turn him away now, can I?
I take a moment to look back on everything and realize what I have to do. I have to send him home. Right now, my relationship, whatever is left of it, with Fred is more important that comforting Bosco, he'll understand, right? 'Of course, you're not a bad person for wanting to salvage your marriage.' "Oh, what would you know? Look at him; he totally wants you right now! Forget Fred! Go home with him, you wont regret it, trust me!" Her mind was arguing with itself. 'STOP IT! Both of you,' her conscious replied. 'I know what I have to do, so stop acting like kids, I already have 2, 3 if you count Bosco.' I can feel him try to pull himself back together, keep some dignity left, now is my chance to make my move. I push him back gently, noticing his blood-shot eyes. This is not going to be easy, but it's for the good of us both.
"Bos...Bos? Hey, everything's going to be fine ok? You did the best you could and that's all that matters. Look, I know it's hard to deal with, but this counseling, it's really going to help. Why don't you just go home, take a nice hot shower and I'll call you in the morning to see how you're doing?"
"What? You're asking me to leave? Faith, I just...I just...Yea, fine, whatever. Talk to you in the morning or whatever." And with that he was off. He pulled so fast from me, I thought for a second my arms were going with him.
"Bosco, please don't leave like this. I promised the kids we'd have cake, and I'd hate to disappoint them. You understand, right?" Ok, so I lied just a little. The kids are probably already asleep, but it's Fred I need to talk with. I feel it though, he's pissed off at me, and once again I can't blame him. Deep down as I watch him close the door behind him, I have to wonder what trouble he'll go and get himself into tonight, or even, what kind of woman he'll sleep with. I can't think of that though, the thing to worry about is not Bosco, but Fred and I. This is going to be a LONG night.
As I walk towards the bedroom I take a quick peek in on Emily and Charlie. Just as I thought, out like a light. Though, I'm sure Emily isn't going to be too pleased with me tomorrow, what else is new. I go to the bedroom door, which is partially close and see that Fred turned all the lights off but I know he's not sleeping, he's not snoring. I walk over to his side and sit on the end. He's in his silent treatment mood, so instead of talking I just sit there in silence with him and gently caress his back, which is now turned to me. I proceed to kiss his neck, trying anything to get a response out of him. He pulls away, he actually pulls away. That's it.
"Fred. Fred, look at me, I know you're not sleeping. Can we just talk about this?"
"Why Faith? So you can just defend him so more? I saw you two. You looked mighty happy together. Why don't you just go stay with him tonight?"
"How can you say that? I love you Fred, I do. No matter what you may have seen or what you believe, I will always love you and OUR children. What happened tonight with Bosco and the exam, let's just put it behind us. I can always take it again. I don't care about it though, I care about what's happening with you and I..." but he wouldn't let me finish.
"Faith, I really don't want to talk about this. Good night."
First I turn Bosco away thinking I was doing the right thing. Now I try to talk to Fred thinking that was also another good thing to do and in the end, it all just blew up in my face. I have a partner who is upset at me and a husband who wont even talk to me, what am I going to do now?