Nergal Fan Fiction LLC
A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:


The Best Laid Plans


Chapter Six "Cease Fire"


by Ryoma





Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.



Spring was in the air...at least according to the calendar it was Spring. Though Second Impact had long ago forced the Earth to abandon the fluctuating temperature changes that previously marked the seasons, a part of the human spirit still retained the ability to sense them. A feeling...a sensation...a mood...something about the way a person acted always seemed to change when the season of renewal arrived each year. The flowers were in full bloom, disrupting the normally bland concrete and steel facade of Tokyo-3 with little dashes of color here and there. Mother Nature proving again that her beauty is unmatched by anything created by man.


And in this wonderful setting, six students sat at a table, enjoying their lunch as all around them the sights and sounds of nature embraced them.


Darting about in the clear blue skies, small birds sang songs of love as they searched for a mate; instincts for companionship and reproduction fueling their desires. Groups of them would gather, each one chirping a little louder then the last...each trying to stand out and assure themselves that their voice would be heard above the rest. This assortment of random tweets and whistles soon degenerated into an annoying racket, the lovely songs now gone...replaced with this clamor.


Of course humans are far more advanced then common birds.


"What are they trying to do...kill me!" Asuka squawked as she dropped her chopsticks into the bento box. The familiar markings on the outside indicated that it was standard school cafeteria fare. "This tastes like crap."


"You get used to it," Touji said as he dug at the corners of his similarly marked container, attempting to capture the few remaining morsels. "Except the smell."


"What smell?" she replied, her face suddenly contorting in obvious displeasure as she bent down and sampled the aroma. "Mien Gott in Himmel!" she exclaimed, her hands covering her mouth in an attempt to keep from vomiting.


Eyeing his own now empty container, Touji glanced over at Asuka's. "Are you going to finish that?"


Still afraid to move her hands away from her mouth, Asuka simply shook her head slightly from side to side.


"Thanks," the track suited boy replied with a smile as he reached over Asuka's arm, grabbing the carton and sliding it before him.


The girl watched in awe as he began shoveling heaping mounds of noodles into his gaping maw...never pausing to take a breath, his hands moving almost faster then her eyes could follow. As disturbing as that sight should have been, her nausea had faded and been replaced by the familiar pangs of hunger that she had been fighting all morning. Forcing back a sigh, she gazed down at the empty plate before her as her stomach growled its dismay.


"Here," Touji said softly as he held out a sushi roll between his chopsticks. "These are actually edible." He dropped it in front of her, not bothering to wait for a reply resumed his voracious attack on her lunch.


"Er...um...well...thanks," Asuka stammered as she rolled the deep-sea cuisine back and forth in an attempt to verify his opinion. Picking it up she prepared to smell it, but thought better of it as she caught sight of the boy shaking his head slowly back and forth. Cautiously picking up the roll between her thumb and index finger and taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and took a bite. Slowly she chewed, preparing at any moment to spit out the offending foodstuff if her taste buds deemed it necessary. A slight smile formed on her face as the first tasty morsels found her tongue. "Not bad," she said before taking another bite.


"I told you," Touji said before he took a quick drink of his soda. "I guess I should've warned you about the fish and ramen bento when I saw you in the cafeteria. Come to think of it, how come you're buying lunch, anyway?"


"Because idiot Shinji didn't make me one," she scowled glancing over to where the Unit 01 pilot was siting, his hand discreetly linked with his new girlfriend's. "Is there anything remotely edible in that place?"


"You might like the hamburgers on American food day," he said while taking a moment to tip the box and scrape the remaining food to one side, "chipped a tooth on one last month, though." The ramen was now gathered in one place allowing him to scoop a generous portion into his mouth. "And the pizza's not too bad," he muttered sending bits of food flying, "although the cheese can give you horrible gas." She returned a bewildered look as he swallowed the rest of his food. "But most of all avoid the burritos on Mexican food day," he said with a frown, "or your plugsuit won't be the only thing red for a while."


"I...I'll try to remember that," Asuka replied, as silently she wondered exactly how she got into this exchange. It was about this time she realized that all the other conversations that had been going on around the table had ceased. Slowly she glanced around and noted that all eyes were on her and the lead Stooge.


"How romantic, giving each other comfort and kindness," Kensuke muttered as he smiled over at the pair. "Would you two like to be left alone so you can continue this sexy chat in private?"


"Huh...what?" Asuka said curiously as she hadn't quite heard the boy's comment.


"Aida was inquiring if Suzahara and yourself would like some privacy," Rei said flatly, never bothering to look up from the book she was reading. "To allow your courtship ritual to continue without interruption."


Asuka and Touji blushed a bright shade of crimson. "Shut up!" they screamed in unison.


The entire table erupted in laughter, save the blue haired girl, as the redhead and the jock flushed even brighter. The two slowly turned to look at one another, then quickly turned away as their eyes met for a brief moment. Asuka crossed her arms on her chest and huffed, "Like I would ever touch that dork!"


"Yeah," Touji added, "like she would ever touch this dork!"


Asuka glanced over at him. "If the future of mankind depends on idiots like you, then sometimes I think we should all just die."


"Don't ever say things like that, Asuka."


"What do you care, Third Child," the Second exclaimed as she turned to face him. "It's your fault that I'm reduced to talking with this loser."


"My fault?" Shinji inquired, "how's this my fault?"


"Easy," she replied matter of factly. "If you had made my lunch this morning like you're supposed to, then...hey...where'd you get that?" she said loudly, finally noticing and pointing to the large bento box in front of him.


"What...this?" he said pulling the container in a bit closer to himself as Asuka leaned forward to examine it's contents. "We...I...um..."


"I made it for him."


Asuka shifted her gaze to the girl sitting next to Shinji. "Y...you?"


"Yes," the class rep said, returning Asuka's stunned stare with a smile. "Why do you sound so surprised? He's my boyfriend after all."


"Yeah...but...well," the Second sputtered before stopping and composing herself. Unable to endure Hikari's smiling face anymore she turned back to her housemate. "You can still make me something so I wouldn't have to..."


"No," the freckled-faced girl interrupted, "he can't make your lunch for school anymore."


"What do you mean he can't?" Asuka clamored, turning away from the cringing boy to face her soon to be former best friend. "He lives with ME, and if I say he has to make me lunch, then he..."


"And I told him NO!" Hikari said loudly, again cutting the redhead off mid-rant. "I don't want my boyfriend making another girl's lunch everyday," she said reaching over and grabbing Shinji's arm and pulling him closer. "And as for the living with you part...well let's just say that's going to change as soon as we're both old enough."


"What?" Asuka cried out in shock.


The class rep's cheeks were just the slightest shade of red as she spoke. "Sure it's a few years before we are old enough to get married...but I can wait."


"Would you listen to this," the red head protested, "you've known each other for what? A year? And you've only been going out for four days...and you're already talking about getting married? What are you, stupid?"


"Keep up that attitude and I won't ask you to be my maid of honor."


"Maid of honor?" Asuka shrieked, jumping to her feet to ensure she was the center of attention. "Maid of honor? I'm not going even going to worry about being invited because there isn't going to be any wedding!" A silence fell over the table as everyone stared up at the girl.


"Rei?"


"I would be honored to participate in Ika...Shinji and your wedding ceremony," the blue haired girl said calmly turning to face the class rep.


"Great, now that's settled," Hikari said as a smile formed on her lips, "what do you think? Traditional wedding or modern?"


"STOP!" Asuka screamed causing everyone to jump, "stop this insanity right now!" The Second Child slowly moved her gaze around the table, making sure to address each person as she spoke through her clenched teeth. "I don't want to hear another word about weddings, bridesmaids, traditional ceremonies or modern, Wondergirl as a maid of honor...NOTHING!" She stood staring at the Third Child, her chest heaving up and down as she fought to catch her breath.


"Shinji...can I be your best man?"


"You are such an IDIOT!" Asuka said loudly as she spun around and pointed an accusing finger at Touji. "Of all the people here, you should be taking my side on this."


"What are you talking about?" he said with a puzzled look on his face.


"Shinji's getting married," Kensuke said as he rubbed his glasses in his shirt to remove some spit from Asuka's diatribe that had landed on them. "Can I handle the filming?"


"No you can't handle the filming," the Second Child replied in a mocking tone.


"If I'm not the best man, can I do the filming?" Touji inquired.


"There's not going to be anything to film, you jackass." Asuka clenched her fists and prepared to start pounding some sense into the occupants at the table, starting with a certain track suited moron who she had been depending on to aid her cause. It was at that moment that she noticed him far more interested in the few remaining scraps in his bento box then her glaring visage. -Perhaps I should give him the benefit of the doubt- she thought to herself as watched him. "Moron...you do know all about the wedding...right?"


"Yeah, I heard you say that Shinji's getting married and I'm happy for him," Touji said as he ran his finger around the inside of his bento box to capture every possible calorie, "I just missed the part about who."


Asuka's rolled her eyes as she let loose a little sigh of relief. Her hunch had proven correct. Touji's first love had distracted him to the point that he didn't know about the impending loss of his second love.


That was about to change.


"Oh I'm sorry Stooge," she said coolly as she waited for him to acknowledge her. "The lovely bride to be would be none other then Hikari Horaki," she said with a smile.


Touji's face instantly went ashen as he struggled to respond. "H...H...Hikari?"


"Yes, H...H...Hikari," Asuka replied, barely able to contain her joy as she watched her new ally fidget about in obvious discomfort. "Now would you care to help me put a stop to this?"


"Yeah...I guess," he mumbled in dismay before a scowl from the redhead convinced him to try harder. "You two can't get married," he cried out, slamming his fist down on the table as he stood up. Glancing over, he caught the slight nod of approval from Asuka at his actions.


"And why not?" Hikari said, her tone sounding a bit annoyed as she stared up at him.


Touji gazed down at her. Months...no, years of frustration weighed heavily on the young man's shoulders. All the things he wanted to tell her...all the missed opportunities...all the lonely nights at home thinking about her. And now she was almost gone. Shinji was his best friend, but his desires for the dark haired girl were so strong they were literally causing him pain to think her heart would soon belong to another. Still, the solution to his quandary was at hand. It was time to release the dam of pent-up emotions and feelings and finally tell her all those things he was too shy or embarrassed to say before. It was now or never...he would proclaim his feelings for her and be damned the consequences. Taking a deep breath, he decided to say the first thing that entered his mind.


"I don't know," he shrugged.


"I don't know?" the class rep frowned. "I don't know...I don't know... "she repeated softly over and over, each time adding a little more volume to the words. "I don't know...what kind of answer is THAT?" she yelled.


Touji gulped audibly as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "Um...the best one I could think of?"


Shinji felt his left arm go numb as Hikari bore down on it, squeezing with a strength that could only be generated after years of expectation and monumental disappointment. He glanced over and watched as she began shaking uncontrollably, her face contorting into a very pained expression. "YOU ASSHOLE!" she roared, freeing Shinji's arm as she grabbed her half eaten lunch and threw it at the object of her insult. "How can you possibly be so dense?"


Touji tried to duck out of the flight path of the airborne bento, but only succeeded in positioning himself directly in its course. With a soft thud the container impacted on his head, resting there for a moment before slowly sliding down, leaving its contents behind. The noodles piled on the top of his head, their curly threads dangling down like beige tresses, completely covering his face as the sauces and bits of seasoning dripped off their bottoms. Using both hands he carefully parted the stringy noodles to allow himself to see if another attack was imminent.


Kensuke looked up and regarded his friend. "Bad hair day?" he quipped.


Touji reached up and grabbed a hand full of the seeping mass and threw it, hitting the other boy in the face. "Shut up," he grumbled.


"Stop it, you guys," Shinji protested as he watched Kensuke pick up his own half-eaten meal in preparation of a retaliatory strike. "Can't we all just get along?" he said, smiling as he watched Kensuke slowly put his bento box back down. "That's better," he chuckled as the ridiculousness of the situation was beginning to get the best of him.


"What's so funny, Ikari?" Touji said crossly.


"Yeah," the other boy mumbled from behind his ramen-covered spectacles, "what are you laughing about?"


"Wait just a minute," Shinji protested, holding his hands out in front of him as the two boys stared at him. "Just stop before you do something you will regret later."


"Sorry kid, please don't take this personally," Touji said flatly as he raised up a handful of food and prepared to launch it at the Third.


Shinji turned his head away in resignation to the fact that this was the end. He closed his eyes and awaited the cold, damp sensation that would come when the edible mass found its target.


"Please don't take THIS personally," Hikari exclaimed as she let loose her own preemptive attack. The handful of table scraps found their mark as Touji recoiled from the impact.


"Why you little..." Touji hollered, raising his arm and again preparing to attack. -I can't do it- he thought to himself as he watched Hikari cowering in fear. -She looks so helpless...so vulnerable...so damn sexy...so hot that I just want to...-


"Come on...do it...do it you Stooge!" Asuka screamed, "DO IT!"


Touji glanced over to the red head as she continued to chant her mantra into his ear. Turning away he again observed the frightened look on the class rep's face as she trembled below him. "I...I can't," he sighed as he placed the cuisine back on the table.


"You idiot!" Asuka said loudly as she turned and began berating him face to face. "You're so stupid. I can't believe you had the chance to make her pay and you didn't because you are afraid that..." She stopped short as she felt a stinging sensation as something impacted the back of her head.


"What the hell was that?" she said, running her hand across the area. The feeling of dampness was unmistakable as she used her fingers to comb out the offending substance. Bringing her hand back around she noticed the distinct remains of the strawberry projectile.


"Who threw that?" she hissed. With no immediate confessions, she began looking around for the culprit. Shinji and Hikari were still wincing in fear, Rei had her head buried in her book, completely oblivious to the outside world and Kensuke was busy trying to clean his glasses. Asuka fired off one final glare and turned around resume scolding the head Stooge again.


"You are such..."


Again her tirade was shortened as she felt another object strike the back of her head. Turning around she found the other occupants of the table in pretty much the same positions as before.


"Wondergirl...what are you eating for lunch?"


The blue haired girl looked up from her book. "I have a vegetarian platter."


"There wouldn't happen to be any fruit in there?" the Second pondered as she leaned forward and attempted to see for herself.


"Yes," the First replied.


"Any strawberries perhaps...like the ones you threw at me."


Rei looked up as she slowly closed her book. "I dislike strawberries. They are red, the color I hate."


"You don't like the color red, eh?" Asuka said with a frown. Reaching down she picked up a large portion of Kensuke's lunch. "Let me give you something else to hate!"


"Leave her alone," Shinji cried, "Rei has nothing to do with this."


"Fine," Asuka replied as she turned to face him. "You care about her so much...you take the bullet." With that she threw the contents of her hand, striking him squarely in the face.


"You cut that out!" Hikari said as she watched Asuka laughing at Shinji. With a deft flick of the class rep's wrist the German girl found herself with a ramen wig.


"You bitch!" the Second Child screamed as she began hurling food at the couple.


"Stop that," Touji said as he watched Hikari valiantly trying to avoid the barrage of foodstuffs. Her cause turned futile as the first few volleys found their mark. Grabbing his own handful of scraps he proceeded to dump them on the Unit 02 pilot's head. "How do you like that?"


Kensuke began laughing uncontrollably. "Good one Suzahara."


"What are you laughing at?" he heard Asuka say just before her attack landed. "Eat this."


Soon the dialog degraded into random voices. "I hate you." "I wouldn't be caught dead with you!" "Get away from me." "Stubborn bastard." "Your type makes me sick." "Annoying bastard." "It'd be better if you'd never been born." "You're a pain in the ass."


"Wimp..." Asuka said loudly, directing the comment to Shinji.


Rei silently stood up and gathered her belongings as all around her the air was filled with a mixture of insults and food. With a slight nod to everyone at the table she excused herself and began walking away. As she left a flock of birds that had been gathered near the group finally gave up competing with the ruckus. As they took flight, Rei could still hear the battle raging behind her. Looking over her perfectly clean uniform and relishing the benefits of a personal AT field, her lips almost turned up into a smile as she pulled a strawberry out of her pocket and took a bite.


---------


"Asuka...your sync rate is dropping again...concentrate," Misato said as she watched the readings on the monitor before her. "Or are you letting Shinji win again in hopes that he'll feel sorry for you and take you back."


"WHAT?" the Second Child screamed, the LCL in the test plug unable to mask her resentment at the accusation. "Like I would ever care what that moron is doing...or for that matter who he's doing. I don't know where you get off thinking that I would want that dork to win, but let me tell you that..."


Misato reached over and hit the MUTE button. The U and T were worn off, testament to its overuse. "I need a vacation."


"Maybe if you stopped teasing them, you wouldn't have so much stress," Doctor Ritsuko Akagi said flatly as she looked over a clipboard of printouts. "You're supposed to be the adult after all."


"I'm just having a little fun," Misato replied as she stood up and walked over to the other occupants in the room. Taking a sip of coffee, she watched the silent image of Asuka on the large overhead display, her rapidly moving mouth confirming the fact that she was still yelling. "Asuka seems to like it."


"Oh yeah, she seems to be thoroughly enjoying herself," Ritsuko said dryly as she handed the clipboard to her assistant Maya Ibuki. "Run these through the Magi, " she said softly to the other woman before turning to face the Major again. "You are cruel, Misato."


"What would you know?" she replied indignantly, "you live in an apartment full of cats. I hardly think you would know anything about having fun."


"That's not true," Ritsuko said quickly as she placed her eyeglasses into her lab coat pocket. "I've been known to have a good time now and again."


"Since when?"


Ritsuko glanced up at the silent images of Rei, Shinji and Asuka on the overhead panels. Quickly noting their respective readings she took a sip of coffee as the Major awaited a response. "Although it may seem tame compared to your drunken free-for-all's, Misato, I do know how to have fun." She ended her comments with an every so slight nod and wink that only her assistant could see.


"Sitting home stroking pussies is not my idea of a perfect evening."


"Says you," Maya mumbled, blushing hard, her hand quickly covered her mouth in an attempt to catch the words as she realized that she might have been a bit too loud.


"What?" Misato said, raising her eyebrow just a bit. "I didn't catch that."


"Oh...um...nothing," Maya stammered as she began furiously typing commands into her terminal. She could literally feel the heat from her blush as she desperately tried to hide it.


"You feeling okay?" Misato said softly, "your face is all red."


"She felt fine last night," Ritsuko interjected.


"Excuse me?" Misato cried.


Ritsuko hurriedly took a sip of coffee, hoping to calm herself. "I mean she SAID she was feeling fine. How would I know what she feels like? And why the inquisition? Not everybody has secrets, Misato....My God, the old men at SEELE could take some tips from you." Her hand began shaking so bad that she threatened to spill her coffee as she tried to bring it to her mouth. "Is it hot in here?" she said nervously as she walked over to the thermometer on the wall, "seems awfully hot."


Misato watched with an inquiring eye as Ritsuko paced back and forth complaining about the temperature and the Operations Director's line of questioning.


"Can we get back to the issue at hand?" the doctor said after she calmed down enough to resume a normal conversational tone. "What's wrong with Asuka? The Commander is not going to like these results at all."


"I think she's having some personal issues," Misato said with a frown. "And I think they involve Shinji."


"Shinji?" Ritsuko said curiously, "last I heard they were going steady."


"Well let's just say that you were given some incorrect data," Misato said shaking her head. "Shinji is actually dating one of the other girls in his class now."


"Really?" the blonde haired woman huffed, "already into the arms of another woman before the body is even cold." She turned away and took a few steps away from the others. "Just like his goddamn father," she muttered to herself before turning and addressing her friend once again. "Poor Asuka, she must be taking it hard. You know how well she deals with rejection."


"You're telling me," Misato replied with a forced smile. She took a quick sip of her drink as she looked up at the image of the German girl as she sat in the entry plug, her face the epitome of concentration and determination. "I think she has feelings for him, but she's too proud to let them out."


"Sounds like a certain Major I know," Ritsuko said matter of factly.


"Oh shut up!"


"Sorry," the blonde scientist said sarcastically. Taking a few steps forward she stood behind Maya as the technician typed commands into her computer. Discretely placing her hand on the younger woman's shoulder, she leaned over her to study the data as is flashed across the screen. "So if Asuka won't let her feelings be known, what about Shinji? He seems to like her."


"He does...or at least I think he did," Misato pondered aloud. "Right now I don't know anymore. He's been acting different lately."


Ritsuko looked up from the computer monitor. "Different how?"


"Oh, nothing to get the Magi worked up over," the purple haired woman giggled, "he just seems...different. I can't put my finger on it just yet."


"His test scores have never been better," Ritsuko replied, turning her attention back to the scrolling data on the screen in front of her.


"Sempai," Maya said softly, "there is some data on the laptop that I think you should see."


Sliding from the younger woman's left shoulder to her right, the blonde again leaned forward to study the laptop that was setup to the technician's side. Squinting slightly she was able to make out the words on the display.


I NEED YOU.


"That certainly is important," Ritsuko smiled, squeezing the younger woman's shoulder gently. "I think we will have to verify this hypothesis later," she whispered into Maya's ear. "So Misato," she said, standing and looking at the Operations Director. "It sounds like you have the situation with the Third Child well in hand. I guess you are not as immature as I thought."


"Thanks, Ritsu...I think," Misato said hesitantly, finally deciding that the comment was meant as a compliment, in a round about sort of way. "I don't like to brag but I have to admit that I've done a great job with that boy."


"And given the importance of the Children, I would think that the Commander might give you another promotion," the doctor said with a smile. "That is as long as nothing out of the ordinary happens."


-Colonel Katsuragi, I like the sound of that.- Misato thought to herself.


"Major Katsuragi."


-No, no...not Major...it's Colonel- the purple haired woman pondered, smiling from ear to ear.


"Major Katsuragi," the First Child called out again over the intercom.


The blue haired girl's voice finally registered, returning Misato to the present. "Yes Rei... what can I do for you?"


"I need your assistance in a personal matter."


"Sure," Misato said confidently, buoyed by her success with the Third. Smiling conceitedly at the other two women she called out to Rei. "What do you need help with?"


The image of Rei Ayanami addressed her from the monitor above. " I have been invited to participate as the maid of honor in Shinji and Hikari's nuptials."


"You've WHAT?" Misato screamed, her visions of a promotion disappearing as Maya and Ritsuko began laughing in the background.


Rei paused for a few moments as she listened to a string of profanities resonate through her com link. She finally broke in when the Major stopped to take a breath. "I am unfamiliar with the process. Could you assist me?"


"I seriously doubt there will be a wedding," Misato frowned, glancing over at the two snickering women in the control room. "A funeral or three perhaps."


"I can't wait to see Commander Ikari's reaction when he hears his fifteen year old son is engaged," Ritsuko said with a smile as her companion doubled over, trying desperately not to lose what little composure she had left. "And to think, I was worried about you becoming his guardian."


"Shut up already," Misato shouted at the lab coated woman before turning back to the monitor. "Rei...let's not tell anybody else, especially the Commander, about this, okay?"


"I understand," the likeness of the girl responded, as in previous conversations never bothering to open her eyes or change her facial expression. After a slight pause, she spoke again. "Is this secrecy part of the maid of honor process?"


"Huh?" the Major replied, surprised by the question. "Yes...yes it is," she said after pausing for a moment to devise an acceptable answer. "You should never tell the father of the groom anything about his son's engagement, at least not until his son's guardian has a chance to beat some sense into him."


"Thank you," Rei said softly, "I will follow your instructions."


"Whew," Misato sighed, wiping the sweat off her brow as she turned away from the monitor. "That was close." Walking past the other women she headed toward the door.


"Where are you going?" Ritsuko inquired.


"To go rip lover boy out of his entry plug."


----------


"Mr. Kaji?" Shinji said softly as he tapped lightly on the closed door in front of him. "Kaji are you in there?"


"Come in," the pony tailed man called from behind the door.


The Third Child slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Glancing around the room he noted the stacks of documents, some piled from the floor to the ceiling. Scattered about between the skyscrapers of paper were small pots, some with tiny plants growing in them. Walking into the room he sat down in the chair directly in front of the man's desk. "What are these?" Shinji asked as he picked up one of the planters.


"These are my prize melon plants."


"Melons?" the boy replied curiously as he placed the soil filled container back on the desk.


"Sure," Kaji said with a smile, "growing fruit can be a healthy and worthwhile hobby."


Shinji gave the man a puzzled stare. "Really?"


"Yes," the eternally unshaven man nodded, "there is nothing more rewarding then nurturing a couple of these plants to their fullest potential." Reaching down Kaji picked up a couple of fairly large melons and began handling them. "See how well these two came out," he said, carefully running his fingers all about their surface. "Notice how perfectly round they are...firm, yet supple at the same time."


Kaji continued to rub his fingers and hands over the fruit, however Shinji was beginning to feel uneasy as the motion was taking a more sensual turn. "There is nothing quite like a perfect melon. Some people like them small, others like them huge. Me, I like them large...but not too big. Just enough to get my hands around them and..." The man's voice trailed off as he closed his eyes and began rubbing the fruit along his face and neck, shuddering as he felt the orbs contact his skin.


Shinji watched the erotic spectacle for a moment before speaking. "Um...I take it Misato still isn't talking to you?"


"Huh?" Kaji replied, the boy's voice snapping him out of his fantasy. A slight blush formed on the spy's face as he stared at the Third Child. "If I can't get my hands on Misato's melons, these are the next best thing," he said as he carefully placed them back under his desk.


Shinji was anxious to change the topic and get Kaji's illicit display out of his mind. "What about all these papers and reports?" he said, motioning to the many stacks. "I bet these are top secret documents about the Angels and Third Impact."


"They used to be," he said with a smile as he put his hands behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "But now they are all soil test data, hybrid seed analysis, temperature and light studies...basically it's all about melon growing."


"You're kidding, right?"


"Actually no," Kaji said shaking his head back and forth. "Melon growing can be a very competitive hobby. The secrets to growing prize winning plants are even better kept secrets then the Eva's AT field technology."


"Wow," Shinji said enthusiastically, feigning interest in the topic. "Are you one of the best?"


"I'm proud to admit that I am currently the highest ranked grower in this district," the older man said though his beaming smile. "That old bat, Mrs. Hayashibara was number one until her untimely death a few months ago."


"I think I read about that," the Third Child exclaimed, "isn't she the one who died in that accident?"


"That's the one," Kaji nodded, "nothing out of the ordinary, just your everyday, non staged car crash."


"I thought the paper said she drove her car off of the bridge after being shot five times, stabbed fifteen times and poisoned?"


The super spy seemed to turn a bit pale as Shinji related the specifics of the incident. "Tabloid journalism," he said nervously, "those news agencies are always trying to spruce up a story. I can assure you there is no tangible evidence of foul play."


Shinji's jaw dropped as Kaji finished his comments. "T...thanks for clearing that up," he stammered, shocked at how innocent chitchat had turned into an exposé on the dark side of professional fruit raising.


"Now," the older man said loudly, "what brings you down here...and I'm sure it's not about gardening."


The boy let out a sigh of relief at the change of topic. "I...I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow and help me with some...problems I'm having?"


"Problems?" Kaji queried, "what kind of problems?"


"Oh...the usual stuff...I guess," Shinji said softly.


"Sounds like something Misato should be handling," Kaji replied bringing his hands out from behind his head and resting them on the desk. "She is your guardian after all."


"But I need YOUR help," the boy pleaded, "Misato can't help me with this."


"She can't?" Kaji said with a puzzled expression on his face. "Why not?"


Shinji took a moment to clear his throat. "It's...relationship problems." The Eva pilot hung his head down as he tried to avoid the curious gaze the man across the desk was giving him. "I need your advice on some things...man to man."


"Then you have come to the right place," Kaji said with a confident smile. "No one knows more about the fairer sex then Ryouji Kaji." The boy looked up and grinned sheepishly. "But wait," the pony-tailed man said, his smile quickly replaced with a frown. "I don't think Misato would appreciate me being there, never mind the topic. She is still pretty mad at me ...how about my place? I have free porn."


"No," Shinji said quickly, a hint of panic in his voice. "Wait a minute...did you say free porn?" He watched as Kaji nodded his head and smiled. "No, no, no!" the Third Child cried, his head shaking back and forth in an effort to convince himself to ignore the generous offer. "It has to be at my apartment." The boy paused for a few moments and closed his eyes in deep thought. "Don't worry about Misato," he said, "she won't be there...I'll even cook up a nice dinner."


"Okay, as long as she's not going to be there that's fine."


"Great, I will see you tomorrow...say around six?" Shinji said as he stood up and prepared to leave.


"Six o'clock it is," Kaji replied, standing up and walking around his desk to escort the boy out. "Do you need me to bring any...demonstration material?"


"Demonstration material?"


"You know," the older man winked, "picture books and magazines. I have one that Misato bought me right after we starting going out. Back then she credited it with saving our relationship."


"Um...I don't think I need any books or magazines," Shinji said, "besides Kensuke has already loaned me more then enough...material." The pilot turned and walked toward the door. "Hey Kaji," he said as he stopped and stared at an object partially hidden from view, "what kind of plant is this?" Gazing into the secret compartment he could see that it was dark green in color, and had a distinct five leaf pattern, each with very sharp, tooth-like edges. Leaning forward Shinji noticed a very conspicuous odor emanating for it.


"That," Kaji chuckled as he pushed the boy away and out the door, "that's a special type of plant that I starting growing back in college."


---------


"Just look at those two," Asuka exclaimed as she watched her housemate and best friend in the distance. Out in the green grass of the schoolyard, the girl was lying on her back, gazing up at the clear blue sky, while the boy sat astride her, leaning forward just a bit. After a few moments the young woman reached up and gently caressed his cheek, causing him to fall upon her in a tight embrace. "I feel sick."


"Did you eat a burrito?"


"No I didn't eat a burrito!" she exclaimed, turning and scowling at the track suited boy.


"Well you said you felt sick," he replied sheepishly.


"That doesn't mean I'm actually sick, you Stooge!" Asuka huffed, placing her hands on her hips in annoyance. "Just because I say I feel sick, doesn't mean I FEEL sick."


"And she calls me the 'moron'," Touji whispered to the smaller boy sitting next to him. "I hope I never get stuck with her in a class project."


"What Sohryu is implying is that her statement, 'I feel sick', is a metaphor rather then a literal statement."


"A metaphor?" Touji pondered, scratching his head in bewilderment. Turning to the blue haired girl sitting next to him, he posed a question. "I thought metaphor's came from outer space?"


"That would be a meteor you idiot!" Asuka bellowed, gritting her teeth and shaking her fists menacingly at him. "The only way you are going to get into college is when you come by on Tuesdays to pick up the trash."


Ignoring the angry German's tirade behind him, Touji spoke to the girl sitting next to him. "Rei, do you think there might be some radiation from the metaphor making the Devil feel sick?"


The First Child bowed her head and shook it slowly from side to side.


Touji suddenly found himself being spun around, his image of Rei now replaced by the none too happy visage of the Second Child. "Listen to me you horse's ass. A METEOR falls from outer space. It's made of rock, same as this," she said, making a fist and knocking him on the head. "A METAPHOR is a group of words that have a symbolic meaning...speaking of which," she hesitated, turning her gaze to the silent First Child. "What does a doll like you know about metaphors?"


"I'm not a doll," Rei replied flatly, pausing for a moment before continuing. "As for metaphors, I am quite versed on most of the advanced forms of literary devices."


"Of course you are," Asuka muttered through her smirk, "what with all the public speaking you do." She waited for some type of reply from the Unit 00 pilot, finally deciding that none was forthcoming she spoke again, this time much louder. "So, Sigmund First...care to tell us what you think my comment about feeling sick meant?"


Rei shook her head slowly back and forth. "You do not wish to know the truth."


"What are you, stupid?" Asuka chuckled as her mouth turned up into a smile. "Go right ahead and give me your thoughts on the subject. And make sure you speak up so the two Stooges here can see how wrong you are."


The First Child looked at Asuka for a moment before breaking the gaze and staring off into the distance. "You become upset upon watching Shinji with another."


"WHAT?" the redhead shouted, "why should I be upset that..."


"Not at him," Rei continued, silencing the Second, "but at yourself for the feelings you are developing for him."


"Feelings?" Asuka exclaimed with an incredulous look on her face. "What feelings?"


"For your entire life you have pushed people away, refused to allow them to be close to you out of fear that they will leave you," Rei said turning back to look at her fellow pilot. "Now you are starting to see the error in that logic."


"Oh that's rich," the Second replied, trying to sound as sarcastic as possible, "you're telling me that I am mad at myself for liking the idiot and on top of that I have abandonment issues. Interesting diagnosis Ayanami, I needed a good laugh. Is that all?"


Rei regarded the other girl curiously for a moment before she spoke. "You are afraid that he does not express the same feelings about you."


Asuka stood in frozen silence for more then a few heartbeats, her once arrogant appearance now gone. The First Child had ripped her inner most secrets out and put them on public display. Finally screwing up what little pride she felt she had left, the redhead spoke. "Wrong Wondergirl," Asuka said as nonchalantly as possible, "it was the burrito."


"I knew it," Touji said turning toward his friend and smiling. "They never fail."


"And you can just shut up!" the Second screamed, turning to face him with a nasty scowl on her face. "For once can you take you stupid mind off food and realize that Shinji and Hikari are serious about this relationship."


"Why wouldn't they be? he inquired.


"B...because...because," she stammered before deciding that given all then events of the day, perhaps the truth might be best. And she had nothing to lose. "Because Shinji only agreed to go out with her to make you see what you are missing," she sighed, "to make you jealous. I arranged the whole thing."


"You did what?"


"We staged the whole thing," Asuka said with a frown, "to try and get the two of you together."


"So you're saying that you and Shinji were trying to help me go out with Hikari?" Touji replied.


"Don't get so full of yourself, moron," Asuka said as she turned to observe the two children now sitting in the distance. "Personally I could care less if you died a virgin, or just plain died, but Shinji is your friend and when I came up with a plan to encourage Hikari he insisted on helping."


"Did she know about this?" he asked.


"No," Asuka said shaking her head. "She didn't know anything about it. Shinji was supposed to go out on one date, ONE DATE, and then dump her...leaving you to pick up the pieces. It was foolproof."


"So what happened?" Kensuke said.


Asuka lowered her head and stared at the ground below. "I guess the two of them hit it off and Shinji decided to make it real."


"I'm such a jerk," Touji lamented as he stepped next to the redhead and joined her in staring at the ground. "To think you guys had to go through all that trouble because I was too scared to tell her myself."


"You don't need her," Kensuke said, slapping his friend on the back. "You've got all those other girls you were talking about. You already said you didn't like her."


"Why don't you shut up for once in your life," Touji snapped, drawing his fist back and threatening to unload it on the other boy. "I'm not in the mood."


Looking at the pained expression on his friend's face, it was quite apparent that he was telling the truth. "Well excuse me for living," the spectacled boy jeered, stepping back out of arm's length.


"That can be remedied," Asuka said, balling her hand into a fist and joining the track suited boy in glaring at the smaller boy. "Give me one good reason."


"I've got to go," Kensuke said as he quickly grabbed his books and darted off toward the school.


Asuka smirked as she watched the retreating boy run away. Suddenly another thought entered her mind. "Hey," she grumbled as she began rapidly turning her head from left to right in search of something. "Where did Wondergirl go?"


---------


"Hello Hikari...Shinji."


"Hi Rei," Shinji said with a smile as he looked up to acknowledge her.


"Why don't you sit down and join us," Hikari said, motioning to the grass beside her.


"Thank you," Rei replied as she carefully arranged her dress before gently lowering herself onto the ground.


"So what brings you over here?" the class rep inquired.


"I regret that I have been lax in my maid of honor duties, although in my defense I must admit I am unsure what I am supposed to be doing," the blue hair girl said softly, provoking a laugh from the pigtailed girl sitting next to her. Turning to watch the giggling girl, she quickly continued, "although I have maintained the secrecy that Major Katsuragi has deemed necessary."


"That's alright," Hikari chuckled, bringing her hand up to her mouth in an effort to contain herself. "There's really nothing for you to do right now."


"Yeah Rei," Shinji added, fighting his own laughter as he spoke, "don't worry about anything."


"I am relieved," Rei whispered, her lips turning up into a slight smile to return the ones the other boy and girl were giving her. "I do not wish to spoil your special day."


"We'll take care of that."


The three children looked up to see the towering images of Touji and Asuka standing before them. The sun was situated directly behind them, casting a halo over their heads and blocking out their facial expressions and replacing them with blank shadows.


"How nice of you to join us" Hikari snapped. "And here I thought you weren't talking to me after yesterday."


"I'm not...or more precisely I WON'T be after this," Asuka said crossing her arms on her chest.


The class rep squinted as she looked up, quickly placing her hand on her forehead as a visor to block the sun. Edging from left to right she tried to remain in the Second Child's shadow to block the sunlight. "Then I look forward to the end of this conversation."


Asuka frowned at her friend's comment. "Since we were once best friends, I thought that I should tell you the truth about your boyfriend."


"The truth?" Hikari replied with a puzzled look on her face.


"Asuka," Shinji said as he stood to properly address her, "what are you doing?" He took a step toward her as his tone started to sound more panicked. "You don't need to get into this right now."


"Let her speak," Touji said loudly as he stepped in front of the Third Child, crossing his arms on his chest and glowering at the Eva pilot. "I want Hikari to hear what she has to say. Go ahead Red."


"Thank you, Stooge," Asuka said with a nod. Turning back she addressed her friend. "Hikari, I want to tell you that Shinji..."


"Asuka, no!" Shinji cried out, trying to lean around the larger boy and make his point known, but finding his way blocked by an obviously dismayed Touji.


"That's okay Shinji," the freckle faced girl smiled reassuringly at him. "I want to hear what she has to say...I don't want any secrets in our relationship." Slowly the girl rose to her feet and stood directly in front of her best friend. "I'm listening."


Asuka paused for a moment, her smirk testament to the pleasure she was about to receive once she told the other girl about Shinji's role in their relationship. "I thought you should know that Shinji is only pretending to like you. The only reason he went out on a date with you is because it was part of a plan I devise to get you and the moron here, together."


As she finished, Touji turned and grinned, his finger pointing at himself. "I'm the moron she's talking about."


Hikari quickly raised her hand to cover her mouth as she gasped in shock. Turning slowly away from Asuka she gazed at the Third Child and frowned. "Shinji, is this true?"


Shinji's eyes met hers for just a moment before he lowered them and hung his head in shame. He dug his hands into his pockets as he watched his feet shuffle aimlessly back and forth.


"The girl asked you a question," Touji grumbled, stepping forward a bit for intimidation.


"I...I should have...but...well," Shinji stammered, unable to properly form the words. Taking a deep breath he continued softly, never bothering to look up at her. "Asuka's right."


"Shinji," the class rep exclaimed, pushing Touji out of the way and standing directly in front of the boy. "I can't believe it!" she yelled, pointing her finger at the Eva Pilot as she forced him back, "How could you do such a thing to me?"


"I'm sorry," he replied sheepishly.


"Don't give me sorry!" she snapped.


Asuka and Touji turned to one another, each with a beaming smile as they watched Hikari jabbing the boy in the chest with her finger, grumbling incoherently at him. "So, do you still feel the same about your wonderful boyfriend now?" the redhead shouted, "or should I cancel the band for the wedding?" She watched as the pigtailed girl stopped what she was doing and stood silently facing away from them.


"Of course I still feel the same," Hikari said not bothering to turn around, "after all he's never lied to me, unlike you did when you pretended to be going out with him."


"But...how...why...", Asuka said in a panicked tone. "How did you know that Shinji and I were only faking it?" She glanced over her friend's shoulder to see the smiling face of the Third Child and imaged that the class rep's face looked much the same way. "He told you...didn't he?"


Hikari turned around as Shinji stepped up next to her. "He told me the night of our first date, he felt it was important that I know everything. No secrets. No games. We were only pretending just now to see if you would finally tell the truth."


"I see," was all Asuka could manage to say, her mind still trying to formulate what had happened.


"Don't worry," Hikari said her mouth turning up into a grin, "I was mad at first because I told you not to meddle, but you did help me find my true love, so for that I am grateful." She stepped forward and gave her friend a hug. "Thank you very much...I'm SO happy."


The Second Child gingerly returned the embrace, her face conveying the uneasiness she was feeling. "Y...you're welcome...I guess."


The class rep pulled free from the clinch and stepped back, clasping Shinji's hand. "Of course this wasn't your original intent," she said, stealing a quick glance at Touji, "but fate works in mysterious ways. Don't you think so, Asuka?" She watched as the Unit 02 Pilot's gaze seemed to be transfixed on their intertwined hands. "Asuka?"


"Huh...what?" she replied, snapping out of her daze, "yeah sure, mysterious ways."


"Asuka," Shinji said softly, her sky blue eyes meeting his, "are you alright? Is there something wrong?"


An uneasy silence fell over them. For many heartbeats the two Children stared at one another, the other two teenagers reduced to nothing more then mere spectators. "Nothing at all," Asuka grumbled as she turned away.


Touji watched as the fiery German took a few steps toward him, unable to mistake the pained expression on her face. "So that's it?" he said, placing his arm out to stop her retreat.


She looked at his hand grasping her forearm and frowned. With a quick flick, she pulled herself free and turned to face him. "That's it...game over. I tried to help you, but they win, you lose."


"Like hell," he exclaimed, pushing past her and marching toward Shinji and Hikari. "Come on, Ikari," he said, raising his fists in a fighting stance. "Let's settle this like men."


"Settle what?" Shinji replied curiously as Hikari quickly stepped in between them. Touji began to circle the class rep, attempting to catch the Eva Pilot as he tried desperately to keep his girlfriend between them.


"Settle who gets Hikari."


"What are you talking about?" Shinji whined, ducking to dodge his friend's grasp as he reached past the girl and tried to grab him.


"Asuka!" Hikari screamed, never taking her eyes off Touji as she fought to counter his every move. His arms periodically shot past her in futile attempts to capture his elusive prey, thankfully never hitting her. "Asuka I could REALLY use some help here."


"Why?" the Second Child replied with her trademark smirk as she walked back over to observe the disturbance. "I say let them fight, this should be fun."


"ASUKA!" the freckled faced girl screamed, holding her arms out to push the two combatants as far away as possible. Actually Shinji was more then willing to remain at an arms length and Touji was far too scared he might accidentally hit the girl to put up too much of a struggle. She quickly glanced at the track-suited boy to assure that he was contained before turning to address her friend. "Please help me," she pleaded, "before somebody gets hurt."


"Alright," Asuka sighed as she walked over and grabbed Shinji in a headlock. "I'll take care of this idiot, you take care of that one.


"Um...Asuka," Hikari said softly as she watched the boy struggle in her friend's grip. "I don't think Shinji wanted to fight. You don't need to do that."


"Do you want my help or not?" the redhead said as she redoubled her efforts to forcibly remove the boy's head from his body.


"Break his neck," Touji clamored.


"You be quiet!" Hikari snapped, turning around and pushing him in the chest. "I don't want to hear another word out of you!"


"What?" the boy gasped in shock as she continued pushing him, each time a bit harder then the last.


"You heard me, be quiet!" she shouted, all her pushing finally succeeding in gaining some distance between themselves and the Children behind them. "What is your problem?"


"Shinji's my problem," Touji said loudly. "He's always been my problem!"


Sensing that he had been moved as far as he was willing to go, Hikari stopped pushing and simply stood in front of him. "Is this about your sister?"


"My sister?" he replied with a puzzled look on his face, "what does Kimiko have to do with this?"


Hikari spoke softly, given the seriousness of the situation regarding the Suzahara sibling injured in the battle with the Third Angel. "I...I know what happened to her and how you blamed Shinji for causing it."


"Oh THAT," he snickered, triggering a curious gaze from the class rep. "Truth be told, come to find out later she was actually hurt AFTER the Angel attack. She was looting some of the damaged shops and a piece of the roof fell on her. She only said it was caused by the Eva so the NERV insurance company would cover it."


"So you punched him in the face for nothing?"


Touji ran his fingers nervously through his hair and chuckled softly. "In hindsight, yes, although in my defense we didn't find the truth out until later," he nodded.


"That's terrible," Hikari gasped, "I hope she learned her lesson!"

Touji shook his head. "Actually she didn't. Kimiko made so much money from the fake Eva incident that she decided to quit school and make a career out of it. She's been jumping in front of busses and cars for a few months now."


"But...but," Hikari interrupted, "you're always visiting her in the hospital."


"Hey, I never said she was good at it."


"What do you want me to do with this dork?" Asuka called out from behind them. "His face is turning blue and he stopped struggling a couple of minutes ago."


"Let him go!" Hikari replied, watching his lifeless body falling to the ground as she released him. After a few moments he struggled to his knees as he fought to catch his breath. "So," she said as she turned to again face Touji, "if it's not Kimiko then what is the problem with Shinji. You guys are supposed to be best friends."


"Best friends don't steal from one another," he said crossly as a frown formed on his face. "Best friends don't go out with the girl of your dreams."


"I'm the girl of your..." she started to say before he cut her off.


"I know I shouldn't blame him...it's my fault. I never told you how I felt, and now it's too late." Touji hung his head, turned and began walking home.


"Just wait a minute," she said as she grabbed his arm.


"Please, Hikari," the boy sighed, "I want to be alone."


"Hey Shinji," Hikari called out over her shoulder. Hearing his acknowledgement she continued. "Touji's pretty upset. I'm going to walk him home and try to sort this out. I'll see you later."


"Okay," he called back, wincing in pain as Asuka twisted his arm a bit harder behind his back.


"You be quiet," the red head grumbled.


"Oh and Shinji," she yelled, turning around to ensure he was paying attention. "I think we are all set for tomorrow."


---------


"Coming," Shinji yelled into the intercom as he heard Kaji's familiar voice.


Moving his boiling pot to an open space on the stove, the boy wiped his hands on the "Add Some Spice to Your Life, Do It With A Cook" apron while he quickly strode across the kitchen and down the hall to open the door. As it slid to the side he caught sight of the grinning man.


"I can't object to the premise," he said after quickly read the kanji, "but I have to think your message is lost in the delivery." He grabbed a bit of the lacy fringe that surrounded the garment, running the frilly substance between his fingers as he spoke. "We are here to talk about women, right?"


"Very funny," Shinji replied dryly as he stepped back and allowed the older man to enter. "It's Misato's."


"I should have guessed by the fact it's still in pristine condition."


Glancing down the Third Child frowned as he noticed the stack of books and magazines under the man's arm. "I thought I told you I didn't need any...visual material."


"What, these?" the super spy said as he followed the boy into the kitchen. Placing the reading material down on the table, he pulled out a chair and sat down as Shinji began adding and stirring ingredients to the various pots. "This...visual material...as you like to call it, was for the ride over."


"You took the train? I figured you'd drive your car over."


"I did," the unshaven man replied flatly as he thumbed through one of the magazines. "This city's got red lights you know."


Shinji stopped stirring for a moment, prepared to make a comment about the man's obsession, when his better judgement stepped in. Simply shaking his head he finished stirring in the seasoning and was turning off the burners as he heard the man walk up next to him.


"So," Kaji called out from the open refrigerator as he fumbled about inside, "what do you want to talk about?" Emerging with two cans of Yebisu he returned to his seat. "You looking for some pointers on how to make the 'big score'?"


"Big score?" Shinji replied as he turned and walked over to the table. Pulling off the apron he carefully laid it across the back of his chair before he sat down. "I didn't want a beer, Kaji" he said glancing down at the unopened container in front of the man.


"This isn't for you," he said with a grin. "Saves me from making a trip later. Now what were we talking about?"


"The big score," the dark haired boy said softly as if trying to distance himself from the entire subject.


"Now you know what that is," the pony tailed man chuckled, "don't you?" The boy nodded in agreement. "Good, and I assume you have made one?" Shinji shook his head before the Kaji continued, "how old are you?"


"Fifteen, almost sixteen."


"Almost sixteen? And you've never scored?" Kaji exclaimed.


Shinji thought for a moment. "I don't think so."


"When I was your age I had women all over. I had a girl in Tokyo-2, and another in New Kobe. And there was this one hottie who worked as a massage therapist at the Kodai Resort and Spa," he said excitedly, flipping his fingers out one at a time as a running total. "Not to mention all the one night stands."


"One night stands?" Shinji said, trying to shake the feeling of deja vue.


"Sure, you know how it is. I was fighting them off with a stick." The Third Child was forced to watch as Kaji began to flex his muscles. "Hell, I'm still fighting them off with a stick. All the girlies want a piece of the Kaji-man!"


"That's great," the Eva pilot said trying to sound as enthused as possible, "but can we get back to my..."


"So you don't believe me?" Kaji interrupted loudly.


"But I do!" Shinji protested.


"Listen here," the dark haired man began his voice sounding oddly cold. "I AM a stud and don't you forget it. Why don't you ask me about the little angel I picked up while I was in Germany. Go ahead, ask me!"


"Fine," the boy said sharply, upset at the direction the conversation had taken. "Tell me all about it," he added sarcastically.


"What more can I say," Kaji said as a conceited grin grew on his face. "This angel was hot...HOT, I tell you." He took a sip of his beer before continuing. "Melt the ice cap hot."


"So what happened?" Shinji muttered his chin resting firmly in his palm as his eyes wandered about the room taking in the decor.


"Well...we came back to Japan and lost touch. Last I knew, it was with your father."


"That's wonderful," the Third Child said energetically, "what a great story. Now can we get back to my problem?"


Before Kaji could answer the somewhat calm atmosphere of the apartment was broken as the front door slid open and two new voices could be heard. The occupants at the table turned and listened to the exchange at the far end of the entrance hall.


"What a colossal waste of time!" Asuka shouted as she slipped off her shoes. "Leave it up to the idiot's father to mistake the Yebisu blimp for an Angel."


"Now, now, Asuka," Misato replied, "Commander Ikari is allowed to make mistakes too. It's better to be safe then sorry. I just wonder why he didn't verify it was an Angel before calling us in? Or better yet, why didn't he set off the Angel alarms? And where were Rei and Shinji? Something funny is going on."


"The only funny thing was the way it shot across the sky after I popped it with my prog knife..."


The sounds of the voices were getting closer as Kaji frowned to Shinji. "I thought you said Misato wasn't going to be here?"


"She's wasn't supposed to," he whispered back.


"That's what happens when you release all that hot air," Misato said, turning the corner and entering the kitchen, her eyes immediately focusing on a certain individual. "Speaking of hot air..."


"KAJI," Asuka squealed, her school uniform becoming a blue blur as she pushed past her guardian to get a better look.


"Hello, beautiful," he replied staring directly at Misato. "Care to sit down?"


"Thanks," the Second Child replied, quickly sitting in the seat he offered. "I just finished saving the world...again. Do you want to hear about it?"


"You destroyed a balloon," Misato grumbled, falling into the sole remaining open chair. "A very expensive balloon." Reaching out she grabbed the extra beer from in front of Kaji and opened it. "The paperwork tomorrow is going to be enormous." She took a fairly long gulp of beer before continuing. "Asuka, didn't you even look to make sure it was an Angel?"


Asuka shook her head. "I did look. You know how bad I am at kanji. It's not my fault that Yebisu decided to design their blimp with black and white stripes on it. Sure looked like that Angel that swallowed up the moron here."


"Even I have to admit I don't see the logic in designing an advertising campaign around the Twelfth Angel," Misato said as she placed her beer down on the table. "Seems awfully tacky."


"It's for their new double alcohol beer, Yebisu Obliterator," Kaji offered. "Their slogan is for those who want to get so drunk they leave this plane of existence and enter a Sea of Dirac."


"Besides," Asuka said turning to face the Third Child, "without Invincible Shinji and Wondergirl there to back me up I was scared and, hey...come to think of it, just where exactly were you two!"


"What do you mean?" Shinji replied.


"Were you and Rei too busy doing it to bother helping me?"


"Doing what?" he protested.


"Geez...Misato," Asuka muttered as she turned to her guardian. "Throw a bucket of cold water on them, would you? They're like a couple of dogs in heat."


"Come on Asuka," the purple haired woman grinned, "you know that Shinji and Rei aren't doing anything. Besides, he's going out with Hikari."


"I'm well aware of that fact, " the redhead grumbled, "but he's a man and all men want one thing."


"A beer," Kaji said thoughtfully.


"Um...No," Asuka said slowly, giving the pony-tailed man a curious look over her crooked smile.


"No, I WANT a beer," he replied, tipping his empty can upside down and motioning toward the refrigerator.


"Anyway," Asuka snapped, turning back toward her guardian, "men want sex and Wondergirl is just the type to give it up to idiot boy over here." She pointed to her fellow Pilot and smirked. "I bet they've been doing it for a while now."


"We have not," Shinji chuckled.


"Yes you have," Asuka retorted, sounding quite serious.


"No we haven't," he said shaking his head for emphasis.


"Have too."


"Have not."


"Misato," Asuka said fixing her gaze on the NERV Operations Director, "make him tell the truth, because I know that..." She paused as she finally noticed the expression on the woman's face. "What are you smiling about?" the redhead inquired.


The Major took a drink of her beer. "I love it when you get all jealous," she said in her light, mocking tone. "It's so cute."


"Shut up!" Asuka bellowed. Misato stuck out her tongue and smirked, driving the girl insane with her smugness. She balled her hand into a fist and contemplated the effects of a carefully timed blow to the woman's jaw, deciding instead for a different approach. "Why Kaji," she said standing from the table, "let me get you another beer."


"Thank you Asuka," he replied with a smile. "You're so good to me."


"I'd do anything for you, Kaji."


"I bet," Shinji muttered under his breath.


"What did you say, Third Child?" Asuka shouted as she looked up over the open door of the refrigerator. "I didn't catch that."


"Nothing," he said, turning away.


"Jerk," she said, disappearing behind the metal door again.


"Asuka?" Misato called out, "could you be a dear and get me one too?"


"Get your own," she responded, emerging from the icebox holding out a beer in one hand and a soda in her other. Using her hip to close the door she place a can in front of Kaji. "Here you go, handsome," she smiled, "when you're ready for another just ask."


Misato watched as Asuka edged her chair closer to her on again, off again lover before sitting down. "Shinji," she sighed as she turned to face him. A year's worth of training was not lost on the boy as she watched him return her smile, nod slightly and stand.


"You know Misato," Shinji said as he made his way around the table, staring for a moment as Asuka tried to flirt with Kaji. "That guy from the brewery called you today."


"Mr. Yamadera?"


"Yes, that's the one," Shinji nodded as he grabbed three beers from the cooler.


"I wonder what he wanted," Misato pondered aloud, frowning as she stole a quick glance of Asuka and Kaji. "I hope they're not going to strike again."


"Oh it's nothing like that," he replied, placing the two of containers in front of her. Bending down he handed the last to a patiently waiting penguin standing below his feet. "He said it was a personal call."


"A personal call?" the purple haired woman and her suddenly interested sometime boyfriend exclaimed simultaneously.


Shinji's lips seemed to curl up just a bit as he noticed both sets of their eyes on him. "Yes, he wondered if it would be possible for you to join him on his yacht for the weekend."


"His YACHT!"


"Yes," Shinji nodded at an obviously shaken Kaji before continuing, "he said he could send a car to pick you up and take you to the airport to meet his private jet."


"PRIVATE JET!"


"Well he is one of the richest men on all of Japan, Kaji," Misato said matter of factly. Popping the top on one of the cans in front of her she took a long sip. "As opposed to being a yen-less bum like you."


Kaji gazed over at his one time girlfriend, taking a moment or two to judge her reaction to the news. "You can't seriously be thinking of going, Katsuragi," he said nervously. "Koichi Yamadera is positively ancient. What is he like...sixty?"


"Try forty eight," Misato smirked, taking noticeable pleasure in watching Kaji fidget about nervously in his seat. "And quite a looker I might add."


"Giving up your principles for money," Kaji said coolly, turning toward Asuka and smiling as if to prove he really didn't care. "I never dreamed you would be so shallow."


"Ryouji Kaji calling me shallow, that's laugh," the Major chuckled before slamming her beer can down. "You're so shallow your practically transparent!"


"Let's eat," Shinji said loudly, springing up from the table as Misato and Kaji glared at one another. "Asuka can you help me serve?"


"Go away," she snorted, enjoying the boy's dejected look as she grasped her neighbor's arm and held on for dear life. "I'm spending time with a real man."


"Asuka, please?"


"Call Hikari or Rei, maybe they'll come help," she replied bitterly.


"Asuka, go help Shinji," Misato said forcefully, narrowing her eyes as she looked at her charge. "Right now."


"It's not fair," the Second Child protested, leaning forward and resting her head on Kaji's shoulder. "You're just trying to keep us apart."


Kaji made a careful mental note as he noticed Misato's reaction to Asuka's amorous behavior. His years as a spy had taught him how to read a persons thoughts and feelings, a skill that had helped him innumerable times. And right now he saw a good opportunity to use it again.


"Don't worry about Misato," he said turning and smiling at the Second. "Soon she'll be off with her millionaire boyfriend and then it will be just the two of us."


"Try billionaire," the Major said through her wry smile.


"Billionaire?" Kaji gulped, taking a moment to regard the purple haired woman's smiling face before turning back to the girl. "So Asuka, you are looking absolutely ravishing tonight."


"Thank you," she said before turning a resentful glare at her fellow pilot. "It's nice to know that SOME people still notice."


"Yes...and you're not only getting more beautiful each day, your growing up...and out."


"What?" Asuka exclaimed, pulling away from his arm.


"How old are you now?" Kaji inquired. "Are you eighteen yet?" he said with a wink.


"I...I'm fifteen," she said uneasily inching her chair back a bit from him. "Sweet sixteen in December."


"And fifteen will get you eight to ten," Misato chuckled as she popped the top on her second beer.


Kaji stared over at the woman, her gloating expression and full of herself tone had finally worn thin. "Nobody wants to hear your opinions, Katsuragi. Maybe you should shut the hell up and go yachting or something with Mr. Moneybags."


"You better believe I'm going to speak up when you're trying to pick up my fifteen year old," Misato replied.


"I'm not trying to pick her up," he said, crossing his arms on his chest and closing his eyes to appear as uncaring as possible. "I was just having some fun with her."


"Kaji...I thought..." Asuka said softly, the warmth flowing out of her smile.


"Like that's any better," Misato interrupted, "you KNOW how much that girl worships you."


"So what?" Kaji returned, his tone full of bitterness. "I find it ironic that you're concerned about me leading her on when all you do is lead me on."


"I lead you on?" the purple haired woman bellowed, slamming her beer can down and in the process sending some of the liquid spraying on the table. "I lead you on?"


"You do," he exclaimed, his chair flying backward as he stood and leaned over the table to point at her. "Ever since we met you have been trying to keep things ambiguous between us. Every time I start to figure us out you always run away. First you had to leave me because I reminded you of your father. Then it was the Angels. Now I don't know what it is, but again you are running away. I want to help you in some way...what can I do?"


"Don't do anything," Misato snapped, "don't come near me anymore because all you ever do is hurt me."


"Please Misato...help me understand, you're the only one that can!"


The Major slowly stood and grasped the edge of the table. In one swift motion she threw the table aside, sending plates and glasses falling to floor with a crash and narrowly missing the pair of stunned teenagers who had moved to the far side the room at the beginning of the heated exchange.


"This isn't right," Shinji cried as he watched Misato begin to back the other man into a wall. "We have to stop this." He started to walk toward the pair but found his advance stopped as his companion grabbed and held his arm.


"Shinji, don't," Asuka said softly, shaking her head slightly back and forth. "This is between them, you can't help."


"But it wasn't supposed to be like this," he sighed.


"There's nothing we can do."


"You lair," Misato growled, getting right into the man's face with her own. "You're trying to pawn this off on me. You're the one afraid of making a commitment and giving yourself completely to another."


"That's not true," Kaji whispered, turning his head to the side unable to stand her defiant look any longer.


"It is, " she replied, "you're only using me as an escape...because that's easier then facing up to the truth. If you can't see that then I'm through with you Kaji, I never want to see you again."


"Misato," the pony tailed man said softly, his head now hanging low, "please help me..."


"How dare you keep putting this on me!" she screamed, her emotions coming to a boiling point. Staring for a moment at the man, she reached back and slapped him across the face. "How pathetic."


Kaji stood rubbing his cheek as Misato turned away in disgust. "Please," he said weakly, "why won't you help me?" His jaw dropped in shock as she started to walk away. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed her arm, "don't leave me...don't abandon our relationship. Don't kill...us." He watched as she looked back over her shoulder at him, the earlier frown still etched in her face.


"No."


Ryouji Kaji grit his teeth and using the hand still clutching the woman, spun her violently around, his free hand darting up to catch hers as she tried to slap him again. With a look of sheer desperation and pain he held her arms and began pushing her backwards. After a few hurried steps, her back hit the far wall, his continued pushing, forcing her to slide down to the floor below. He straddled over her, and try as she might, she was unable to move, her arms were still held by his as he looked down into her tear filled eyes.


"Kaji...please don't..." she whispered before her voice was suddenly robbed as he leaned down and kissed her. For the first time she could remember, he kissed her hard, not tentative or tempting, but rather of pure desire and longing. She found herself resisting his touch for but a moment, quickly giving in to the emotion and returning his passion with her own. He released her arms as he desperately tried to get them underneath her and pull her in tight. Arching her back slightly she helped him accomplish this feat as she too embraced him as tightly as she could. The two continued to paw at one another, never once breaking their kiss, as their bodies writhed about, the sounds of moaning only being broken by the sound of an occasional broken dish or glass being kicked about.


"Misato," Kaji said, pulling away from her lips just enough to say the words. "I give you my heart and soul..."


The woman did not respond, but rather pulled him back down on her, kissing him deeply as their bodies began rubbing together. The Eva Pilots stood in the background, speechless as they watched the spectacle unfold before them. After a few moments Kaji finished unbuttoning Misato's flight jacket, and was now desperately tugging at her uniform. For her part, Misato had succeeded in ripping open his shirt and was now working on his belt.


"Ahem," Asuka said, pretending to clear her throat. "There are children present."


Kaji reluctantly broke the embrace, edging to the side as Misato leaned up on her shoulders, her hair and clothes in complete disarray. Her eyes were still filled with tears, but now they were tears of joy, though they were still causing havoc with her mascara, the two long lines of black running from her bloodshot eyes down her cheeks below.


"Sorry," the purple haired woman giggled. Turning to the side she caught sight of her lover and after the two stared at one another for a moment, they threw themselves together and again were kissing passionately.


"Sex fiends..." Asuka groaned as she watched the pair make out in front of her. "I guess he's made his choice."


"His choice?" Shinji quizzed.


"Yes," she whispered, resigned to accept the truth. "I've lost again."


The dark haired boy regarded her sad expression for a moment. "You didn't really expect Kaji to chose you? You're half his age."


"Of course I did," she said loudly before thinking for a moment and lowering her tone a bit. "Well, I hoped he would."


"Did you...honestly?"


"Yes!" Asuka snapped, the rage and fury back in her voice. "This is ridiculous," she said, turned away for the boy to address the intertwined couple on the floor. "How long is this going to be...I'm starving."


"Why don't you two go out to eat?" the purple haired woman said exasperatedly, her chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath. "Kaji and I have...something to discuss."


"But Shinji made all this nice food...seems a shame to let it go to waste," Asuka smirked.


"Wait a minute," she replied, giggling as her boyfriend nibbling on her ear. Moving his hand off her waist she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash before placing his hand back where it was. "Take this," she said throwing the money in the direction of the Children.


"I don't know if that's enough," the redhead sighed mockingly as she thumbed through the money, "what do you think, Shinji?"


The Third Child gazed over and noticed the playful look on her face. "I think you're right, Asuka. That's not enough money to feed both of us. I'll have to stay home."


Kaji pulled away from the kiss he and Misato were engaged in. "Here," he exclaimed, grabbing his wallet and throwing it at Shinji. "I don't care if you take it all but just GO!"


Asuka opened her mouth as was about to say something when Shinji grabbed her by the arm and led her out of the room and down the hall towards the front door. "You idiot," she said softy as they sat putting on their shoes, "another minute and we could have gotten their credit cards too."


"Another minute and we would have gotten a free sex education," the Third smiled.


---------


"I don't hear anything," Shinji whispered. Standing with his ear to the door of their apartment, the Eva Pilot's face is the epitome of concentration as he listened intently for any movement or sign of life within.


"What's that smell?" Asuka said, sniffing the air around her and finally crumpling her nose at the pungent aroma. "Something's burning."


"I think it's a cigarette," he offered, taking a moment to sample the odor a couple of more times.


"Doesn't smell like any cigarette I've ever seen."


"You're right," Shinji said with a bewildered look on his face. "It smells a lot like that funny plant Kaji had in his office." Placing his ear back against the door he again listened for a moment. "It might be safe to go in."


"I hope so," Asuka said placing her hands on her hips and sounding quite annoyed, "we've been gone for so long I need..."


"Wait a minute," he interjected, holding his hand out in a signal for her to be quiet. "I hear something..."


"What?" she replied, leaning forward a bit in an attempt to listen for herself.


"Kaji just said that they've been cooped up in there for over two hours and Misato just said that she thinks she getting the hang of it," Shinji said softly, relaying the conversation as best he could. "And that...that...."


"That what?" Asuka inquired, "that what?"


Shinji sighed and stepped away from the door, slowly sliding down against the wall until he was seated. "Have a seat, Asuka...it's going to be a while."


"Why?" she said, standing over him and gazing down with a curious look in her eye. "What did Misato say?"


"She said wanted to do it again." As if on cue the sounds of lovemaking began emanating from the apartment.


"How idiotic!" Asuka exclaimed, stamping her foot down in protest. "They're just two lonely adults comforting each other."


"Really?" Shinji said looking up at her. "I thought they both looked...happy."


"It's just an easy way for them to feel like they're worth something."


The boy shook his head. "I think you're wrong," he said confidently, "I think finally their feelings toward one another are genuine."


Asuka gave him a puzzled stare for a moment. "What are you stupid?" she huffed. "They're just pretending. It can't possibly last forever. It never does." She turned away focused on something in the distance. "Sooner or later they'll betray one another and end up hurt and alone again."


Shinji looked over at the girl, her back still to him. "You can't honestly believe that."


"I speak from experience, Shinji." She turned to face him, her appearance quite melancholy as she spoke again. "You wouldn't understand, and besides," she said, her expression turning to her common irate one, "why should I listen to you? You're no better then me when it comes to dealing with others."


"I...I admit that I'm still afraid of what people think of me," he replied softly. "It scares me to think that no one will care about me, but at least I am trying." He paused for a moment and smiled up at her. "You know, I spent the first part of my life avoiding everyone because of these worries, but now I think that was wrong."


"You don't understand anything!" she bellowed, pointing an accusing finger down at him. "Just stay away from me!"


"But...I do understand," Shinji said quietly, averting his eyes from the redhead's glare.


"No you don't, you IDIOT!" Asuka screamed, drawing her foot back and kicking the wall next to him. "You really think you can understand me? You think you can help me? How arrogant!"


"If you would just talk to me, maybe I COULD understand."


"Go talk to Hikari or the First. I'm sure they'll listen to you. As for me, you couldn't possibly understand. Face it Shinji, I don't need you for anything."


"But if you would only..." he said before the girl cut him off.


"Drop it!" Asuka said loudly.


Looking up and noticing her gritting teeth and narrowed eyes, Shinji nodded slightly as he decided it was best to heed her advice, or perhaps the next foot would land squarely between his eyes. With a defeatist sigh, he lowered his head and drew his legs up. After a few moments he heard the Second Child slide slowly down the opposing wall as she took up a position opposite his.


The two sat without speaking or responding to one another for a couple of minutes, the only sound heard was the rhythmic thumping and occasional screaming coming from the apartment. After a particularly loud vocal exchange between the older couple regarding whether Misato wanted it, and whether Kaji would give it all to her, Shinji began chuckling, unable to hold in his amusement any longer.


"I wonder if I'll act like that when I get older?" Asuka muttered to herself as quietly as possible, all the while trying her best not to laugh nor show any signs of finding the running audio commentary comical.


"What did you say?" Shinji said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he desperately tried his best to hold back his laughter.


"Huh," Asuka replied, looking up at the boy sitting across from her. "I didn't say anything."


"I thought I heard you say something."


"Well you're wrong," she said shaking her head in denial.


Shinji gave her a curious stare for a moment. "Sorry, I guess I was mistaken," he said softly. Drawing his feet under him, he slowly stood. Reaching down to brush the dirt off, he noticed she wasn't looking. "Of course, but you'll be louder..." he said softly.


"What did you say?" Asuka bellowed, jumping to her feet and pushing him chest.


"I didn't say anything," he smiled.


"You said I was going to be just like Misato...only louder!" the redhead protested.


"I don't know what you're talking about," Shinji said defensively as she pushed him again.


"Fine, Third Child," Asuka said crossing her arms on her chest. "Play stupid all you want. We both know what you said." Her last push had left pinned against the wall, but rather then press her advantage she turned away from the grinning boy. "You only dream you could find out."


"Find out what?" he inquired.


She spun around, her face in an almost feral smile. "If I'm a screamer, like Misato." Her smile grew larger and more devious as she watched him blush at her comment. "Who knows...maybe you'll get Hikari to scream like that."


"I don't think so."


"What do you mean?" she exclaimed, "I've seen you and you're more than big..." Her words trailed off as now she was blushing quite hard. "Never mind that. What do you mean, you don't think so?"


Shinji's opened and he prepared to speak, only to close it and think again about the words. After a moments deliberation he again opened his mouth and this time he actually spoke. "Hikari and I are...sorta breaking up."


"Breaking up? Really? Why?" Asuka said enthusiastically. "What happened?"


"It's pretty obvious that she likes Touji more then me," he sighed. "I think might be best if we broke up."


"Touji?" the Second said skeptically, "do you really think so?"


Shinji shook his head back and forth. "It's okay...really. I mean he is my friend and besides, I'm not sure I actually want to go out with Hikari anymore."


"You don't?"


"No. Having spent the past few days with her, I realized that she and I are too different to ever have a lasting relationship." Shinji dug his hands into his pockets and turned away from his fellow Eva Pilot. Taking a deep breath he started again. "I need someone who understands me better. She is a great person...just not for me."


Asuka thought for a moment, contemplating his revelation. "You're going to tell her, right?"


"Yes," he said without bothering to turn around. "I was going to tell her tomorrow."


"Good," the Second Child nodded. "Just be nice about it...she's my friend and I don't want to see her hurt."


"I understand."


"Well," Asuka said happily, "as soon as you break up with Hikari things will get start to get back to normal."


"Yes," he replied, slowly turning around to face her again. "And no more of these stupid games."


"You're right," she nodded in agreement, "and I for one will be grateful to get back to the way things were. And you can start by making me lunch tomorrow, I've put on five pounds since I started eating that school food," she said frowning as she looked at her stomach.


"You've got a deal," he said, a broad smile forming on his face. "I don't want you to have to use that Type-D plugsuit."


"Very funny, Third Child," the German girl groaned, making a fist and wielding it menacingly.


Suddenly the door to the apartment slid open, the groaning and moaning sounds of the couple within amplified without the insulation. Quickly a small figure waddled out as the door slid closed behind him.


"Pen Pen?" Shinji said softly as he looked down at the bird standing below him. Gone was his distinctive black and white pattern, replaced instead with a completely white one, his eyes unblinking and the size of saucers. Slowly the penguin drew his beer can to his beak, his trembling flipper causing the majority of the amber liquid to end up spilling on the ground. Looking up at the Children, his eyes slowly rolled into the back of his head and he toppled over unconscious.


"The poor thing's in shock," Asuka said as she observed the prone waterfowl, the Yebisu can lying on its side bubbling its contents around him. Using her foot she gingerly pushed the bird out of the alcoholic bath.


"Um...Asuka?" Shinji said reluctantly. He waited until she finished moving the bird to a less traveled portion of the walkway before continuing. "I was...er...wondering if...um..."


"Wondering what?" she replied, sounding a bit annoyed at his hemming and hawing.


"Well...um," he started, clearing his throat and loosening his collar before taking a deep breath and finding the courage to continue. "Even though I didn't follow your plan EXACTLY, I did still sorta follow it...so I think you owe me that favor you promised."


Asuka stroked her chin a couple of times as she reviewed his logic. "You didn't stick to my plan, and therefore I SHOULDN'T have to keep my end of the agreement," she said matter of factly, the boy's expression falling into a frown at her statement. Taking a dramatic pause to allow him to suffer for his indiscretion, she continued. "However since results are what matters and I suspect that after tomorrow's breakup Hikari will run to the arms of a certain Stooge, I guess I will hold up my end of the deal. Never let be said that Asuka Langley Sohryu doesn't keep her word."


"Thanks, I want..." he was all he was able to reply before she cut him off.


"Let me guess," she said boastfully, "you want the privilege of escorting me to the music festival this weekend?"


"Um...actually, no."


"No?" she questioned, sounding somewhat shocked at his reply. "What do you want then?" she said, placing her hands on hips and tapping her foot impatiently.


"You see," he said softly, fidgeting about nervously as he spoke. "There is this girl I sorta like. Well, not really sorta, I mean really like. But I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same."


"Shinji," Asuka snapped, "I thought we were all finished with these games!"


"No," he protested, taking a moment to look deep into her eyes in testimony to his sincerity. "This is real. This girl has everything I want. She understands me. She understands Eva. She's beautiful. She's everything I've always wanted."


"After everything that's happened over the past few weeks, you can't honestly expect me to believe you."


"Asuka, you have to trust me, this isn't some scheme or strategy, this is how I truly feel," he pleaded. "And if you think about it, YOU have been the one behind deceiving everyone...not me."


The girl stood and mulled over his words. "I guess you have a point...but trust me Third Child, if this turns out to be another of your games, I'll kill you!" She watched him cower back a bit her comments, smiling as she reasserted her dominance over her housemate. "Now what do you want me to do?"


"I...I don't think she likes me," he stammered, shuffling his feet about aimlessly, "I mean she's gorgeous...too good for someone like me."


"Really?" Asuka replied curiously.


"Yes," he nodded enthusiastically, "probably the most beautiful girl I have ever met."


"Most beautiful you ever met," the redhead reiterated, a slight smile forming on her face.


"And she's smart too," he added.


"Ravishing AND intelligent," she said, her smile growing as a slight blush was now beginning to form.


"And best of all, I think she could really understand me...she even knows all about Eva."


"That's great Shinji," Asuka said, turning away before her smile or blush became any more visible. Taking a moment to compose herself she asked him a question. "What do you want me to do?"


"C...could you help me find out if she likes me too?" he said nervously. "I'm too afraid she will say no..."


"You don't KNOW that," she replied with a smile. "After all, she just might say yes."


"But I've known this girl for a long time, and she hasn't shown anything that makes me think she feels as strongly for me as I do for her," Shinji frowned.


"You'll never know if you don't ask," Asuka observed smugly. "Now what do you want me to do?"


"I have to ask you a question," he said uneasily, "but you have to PROMISE me first you're not going to say no."


"I'm certainly not going to promise anything until I hear the question."


"Come on, Asuka," he pleaded, "you know I wouldn't ask you to do anything improper...just promise you aren't going to say no to my question."


Asuka thought for a moment, taking the time to observe the anxious look on her fellow pilot's face. Whatever it was had certainly worked up the boy, and she found herself trembling as bit as she reached a decision. "Fine," she said trying her best to sound as nonchalant as possible, "I promise not to say no. Now ask your question."


Shinji smiled and took a deep breath. Stepping a bit closer to the Unit 02 pilot he stared her directly in the eyes, his deep blue gazing intensely into her own sky blue. "Asuka," he said, glancing down for just a second as he reaffirmed his confidence. "Asuka...could you please ask Rei if she likes me?"






To Be Continued...


Next Chapter: "Victory / Because I Need You"



Whoa...holy crap, I made this into a R/S fic. I think Random might have brainwashed me or something. No, seriously, I said from the beginning that I wasn't going to give away the pairing or plot, and well, I have made it this far and since the next chapter is the last, all the answers will have to be revealed. All along I wanted to make an entertaining story that everyone could enjoy without any preconceived notions regarding the pairing issue. I also apologize if the cat petting line in there offended anybody. Here I made it almost 6 chapters without resorting to toilet humor, and well...blame my prereaders. I cut and pasted and cut and pasted that line about 15 times. But they thought it belonged and I had to agree so it stayed. There are a ton of End of Evangelion references in this chapter, and for a reason. I wanted to show that the same ideas about life that Shinji learned during Third Impact could be discovered without changing everyone to orange goo. And since there will be no 3I in this fic's world, I needed something to grow the characters. As for why I decided to bash Touji's sister...well she is always portrayed in such I sympathetic light I wanted to throw a wrench in that belief. And the name Koichi Yamadera was chosen specifically and for a very good reason.
Big thanks to Random and Rhine for prereading, and I am shooting for completing the riveting conclusion to this story in the beginning of April. C&C welcome at ryoma3000@yahoo.com or at the www.Darkscribes.org forum. 20-17 C.T.T.W.C.N.E.P





******************* OMAKE THEATER *******************


Ryoma: Hello everybody and welcome to the chapter 6 Omake Theater. After taking a chapter off for a much needed vacation, I am back and have a really great show for you. Let me introduce my partner for tonight's show...Self-Insertion Ryoma.


*Audience applauds loudly...some hoots and whistles are also heard.*


SI Ryoma: Hi everybody! I'm Self-Insertion Ryoma, but you can call me SI Ryoma because it's less to type. I'll be helping Ryoma with the omake theater tonight.


Ryoma: Say, SI Ryoma...did anyone tell you that you look a lot like Hentai Ryoma?


SI Ryoma: Yes, and I have been know to act like him too.


*More hoots and whistles*


SI Ryoma: Seriously though, we should get on with the omake, I mean isn't this chapter long enough?


Ryoma: You're telling me.


SI Ryoma: Perhaps if you didn't pad your scenes so much...anyway for tonight's omake I would like to take a couple of scenes from tonight's chapter and put my own Self Insertion spin on them.


Ryoma: That sounds good...and I DON'T pad my scenes, I make them rich with dialog and exposition.


SI Ryoma: Sure you do...I can always tell exactly what the characters are wearing, and your descriptions of the atmosphere and scenery are easily on par with a Dick and Jane book.


Ryoma: I'm trying to get better, isn't that good enough for you?


SI Ryoma: You used to say the same thing in the backseat of your car with your first girlfriend...


*Crowd erupts*


SI Ryoma: Anyway, enough about your sordid past...let's get the omake underway. Robyn...can you hit the lights.





"I need your assistance in a personal matter."


"Sure," Misato said confidently, buoyed by her success with the Third. Smiling conceitedly at the other two women she called out to Rei. "What do you need help with?"


The image of Rei Ayanami addressed her from the monitor above. "A new student has enrolled in my class. His name is Ryoma and I am in love with him."


"You're in love with WHO?" Misato screamed.


"His name is Ryoma, and I love him more then life itself," Rei said, showing her feelings by closing her eyes and letting a contented smile form from ear to ear.


"Who is this Ryoma?" Misato quizzed, turning around to address the other two women in the room.


"You really should read the interoffice memos, Misato," Ritsuko said with a grin as she rifled through some files on the desk in front of her. "Here is his dossier," she said handing said item to the Operations Director. "Quite impressive," she said a hint of desire in her voice. "Easily the best pilot we have. Sync ratio's off the chart, outstanding personality, supermodel looks and a genius on top of that."


Misato studied the information in the folder, gazing longingly at the picture attached to the inside flap. "God, he IS incredible looking."


"Hot enough to make me go straight," Maya said, ripping the photo out of Misato's grasp. "I want to add this picture to all the other's I have in my Ryoma shrine. Look at his gigantic pectorals," she squealed with delight.


"Give me that!" Misato screamed, pulling on what little hair the tech had on her head. Within moments Ritsuko had joined the fray as each woman was fighting to keep the printed likeness of our superhero. And like all good superheroes, when trouble was about Ryoma always seemed to arrive in the nick of time.


"Ladies, ladies...please don't fight," Ryoma said with a broad smile and wink. "It will mess up those beautiful complexions."


"Ooooooo, it's Ryoma!" Maya shouted, running across the room and jumping into his arms. "Take me...take me NOW! I need you!"


"Now, now...Miss Ibuki, they'll be plenty of time for sex later. But first I have to give my report to my commanding officer." Gently placing the hysterical woman down, Ryoma walked over and smartly saluted a surprised Major Katsuragi.


"Five Star General Ryoma Nagare, Designated Ultimate Child, reporting for duty, ma'am."


"At ease," Misato replied, loosening her collar a bit as she was becoming quite worked up at being so close to the muscle-bound young man.


"I just wanted to report that this morning, in Unit 01, was able to defeat the remaining Angels, destroy the Eva Series and rescue Doctor Akagi's cat JoJo that was stuck in a tree."


"In Unit 01?" Misato said curiously, "I thought that Shinji was the only one capable of synching with Unit 01?"


"That's what we thought, but," Ritsuko said as she continued to walk around the handsome young pilot, occasionally rubbing his massive arms and shoulders. "Ryoma can sync with any of the Evangelions. In fact he doesn't even need an Eva at all. He is able to generate his own AT field that is much more powerful then any the Eva's can produce."


"That's true," Ryoma nodded as he smiled at the doctor. Within moments Ritsuko was nibbling on his ear. "To finish my report," he continued, now looking at an obviously smitten Major. "After lunch I developed and built a time machine, went back and saved your father...he's at home making your mother cry, gave Rei emotions, beat the daylights out of some annoying kid named DJ, solved world hunger and hunted down and killed all the members of SEELE. Tonight I plan on polishing my fourteen gold medals, three Nobel prizes, two Oscars, one for best director, my Grammy and shoot a guess role on Dawson's Creek 2016."





Ryoma: Okay...stop.


SI Ryoma: What's the problem? Everything was perfect. Everyone was in character, I was following the canon and...


Ryoma: I'm not complaining about any of that. Everything was believable up until the Dawson's Creek reference. Couldn't you have picked a better show then that? I don't even LIKE Dawson's Creek!"


SI Ryoma: Sure you don't...well...Hentai Ryoma suggested Eva-X.


Ryoma: Let's move on...I think you have one last clip. Roll it!





"Why don't you sit down and join us," Hikari said, motioning to the grass beside her.


"Thank you," Rei replied as she carefully arranged her dress before gently lowering herself onto the ground.


"So what brings you over here?" the class rep inquired.


"I've decided to give my life to pursuing Ryoma. He means more to me then Eva."


"Really," Hikari replied her own thoughts now filling with desire for the handsome pilot.


"Yup, he's even talked me into telling the Commander to...how did he say it...'shove it'," the blue haired beauty said, her voice full of emotion. "Geez...he's taught me to us words like yup and geez and now I'm using contractions. I want to have his baby."


"Not so fast Wondergirl," Asuka said as she walked up on the trio. "Shinji's all mine and you can't do anything about it."


"What are you stupid?" Rei replied, "you can have that little dork. I'm going after Ryoma."


"I want Ryoma!" Hikari added, "he can tell me to sit, bow and stand anytime he wants."


"Who is this Ryoma character?" Asuka asked to the only male present.


"He's the new Child...he arrived yesterday," Shinji smiled. "He's the coolest guy I know. Look, he took me to get a tattoo yesterday," the boy added sticking out his arm to reveal a heart with the word MOM in it. "Tonight we're going to the strip club."


"Here he comes!" Hikari screamed, pointing in the direction of a large mob of students that were approaching.


"Hey Rei," Ryoma said as he broke free of the crowd. Reaching out he spun her around and kissed her deeply. "What's this?" he said, wiping a tear from her cheek.


"I...I'm sorry, but I cry every time I see you. Please don't leave me, take me...take me right now!"


The stunningly gorgeous muscle-bound mecha pilot watched as the ashen girl began tearing off her uniform, desperate to feel him again. "Hold on," Ryoma said, motioning for both Rei and Hikari to stop removing their clothes. "What do we have here?" he said finally noticing the fiery red head standing in front of him. "What's you name?"


"Asuka," the German girl replied, "Asuka Langley Sohryu and I want to have sex with you."


"Hey," Shinji cried, "what about us?"


"Shut up, dork!" she said before turning back to the statuesque young man, his Greek God-like body glistening in the afternoon sun. "Ignore him, have sex with me."


"No, have sex with me!" Rei screamed.


"No, have sex with ME!" Hikari squealed.


"Now, now girls," Ryoma said in his deep voice. "Being the world's strongest billionaire has taught me many things, and the first is there is plenty of me to go around." Turning around the World's Greatest Pilot whistled and within moments the ground began shaking as Unit 02 came running into view, stopping just inside the schoolyard and lowering it's gigantic hand to the ground. "Come on girls, we're off to my mansion in the Caribbean for sex and nachos."


"Ryoma," Asuka whispered as he was helping the other girls onto the hand. "I don't want to do this in front of Mama."


"It's alright," he replied, his smile causing the Second Child to be come weak in the knees, her desire for him growing by the moment. "I developed a machine this morning to pull your mother's soul out of Unit 02. I had it implanted into the body of Brittany Spears."


"Why Brittany Spears?" Asuka questioned, but not before she had kissed him deeply, "is it so Mama will have a beautiful singing voice?"


"No," Ryoma said as he stepped up on hand, signaling Unit 02 to raise them. With Rei under one arm, and Asuka under the other, Hikari found herself clutching one of his massive, powerful legs as she kneeled below them. "I used Brittany because I needed a body with no soul...and I always wanted to get a hold of those really big..."





SI Ryoma: Good night folks, be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses and drive safely.


Ryoma: And remember, only YOU can prevent self-insertion fics.