Disclaimer: Not mine. This was writen by me and I Hear Voices In My Head.
A Faceless Man He's Promised to be With Hopeful Eyes He Could See Through for Although the Road is Dark and He Can't Grasp the Way He Knows When He Goes that He'll Reach the Other Side Cuz when a Thought Destroys a Mind You Don't Know Where You're At And When a Candle Beats the Light You Know That You're Right So When You Go Down to Meet Him Eye to Eye You'll Know You're No Longer in the Same Time For He's Been to the End of the World and Back and He Sees No Desire to Stop for his Divine is His Divide his Decided Remise Honor Love Life Live Feeling Creed Wish Pain Forsake Don't Deny…Do You Know What it's Like?
Ahem…sorry.
Prologue:
The floor was a cold a hard surface. Never once had it held warmth. Never once had it welcomed him. But now, the dying Transmetal 2 Dinobot embraced it. His once emotionless eyes were now fill with the pain of stasis lock. He knew he was dead. He knew he forsaken to tolerate this failure. He had lost the battle.
And the war.
Rampage tore out the spark of Transmetal 2 Dinobot, the one he had despised for what seemed forever. Now, one again, he was alone! Free! He was the power, the one to be awed at, the one who his fleet would secretly look upon in wonder!
No longer would Megatron control him. No longer would Dinobot drag him around like an owner and his dog on a leash. Freedom tasted sweet. Freedom tasted eternal. He would live forever. He laughed. He laughed while Dinobot's spark slowly faded in neverending sorrow.
A End to a Beginning:
The crescent moon shone brightly on the young new maximal that was outside the range of the Ark, on patrol near Predacon grounds. His golden body cast a dark, lonely shadow on the trees surrounding him. He let his long tail that arched slight upwards at the tip swish back and forth, causing a faint wisping noise in the damp night air.
Daintily, he walked around, hardly making a noise on the rocky forest floor. Yet any creature caught in his path would scamper away in fright, or freeze, immobile, as if they knew a mighty warrior was passing over him.
His name was Dinobot. The name was given to him when he was first created, and forever he pondered the meaning of it. A religious myth had once stated, "…and each soul is given a name, and each name is given a meaning, and each meaning is to be fulfilled…" That was wonder.
He said his name, tongue slightly fluttering at the sound, as it did every time he spoke. He said it again, and again, until it no longer seemed familiar. Dinobot Silverwind, 'after the Dinobots,' as it meant in the Cybertronian language. No one knew his full name, not even his leader Optimus. He kept in secret to himself, the fact that only he knew his true name making him chuckle whenever he thought about it. That was secrecy.
A soft breeze blew, causing small ripples in pond by where he was standing, made only by the recent rainfall just a night ago. Dinobot looked down into it, into his new reflection, his new body. What he saw confused him. This was not himself, was it? It was so different. No longer was it blue and brown, or silver and white. It was the color gold, the color of innocence and purity…Right. That was innocence.
Dinobot knew he'd never be innocent or pure. His own hands had spilled blood with lasers, swords, and even his own claws. Mercilessly. Not thinking. Hate. That was hate.
If there was one feature that caught his eye every time he looked at his reflection, one that he could not shake away, it was his own eyes. They were what had changed the most. It wasn't the change from silver to gold. It was much more adequate than that. No longer where they an indecent blood red, but a dark aqua blue, the exact same color of a deep and quiet ocean. Every time he caught sight of them, his mind felt like he was sinking into that very ocean. He felt naked of armor when he sank, as if anybody could see right into his spark. That was sadness.
Irrelevent. What good was it now to wonder? Many people say to die twice was painless. They were wrong. He gazed at it once more. This was his third life, his third chance, his third beginning to endless suffering and pain and violence, all meaningless. That was pain.
In his Transmetal 2 form, he had dreams sometimes at night. Dreams of his Maximal friends and leaders, the responsibilities he had then, and the feelings that stirred in his heart then. He would wake up, thinking that again he would be in a Maximal ship, but he'd be in a cage with laser-beams as bars. He was in a prison, a prison Megatron had put him in incase Dinobot ever grew out of control. That was confusion.
Then there was anger. Anger was okay, wasn't it? Anger wasn't a bad feeling. With anger he could kill again and again. With anger he could strike again and again, not even caring if he was hurting himself, not even caring for his own blood flowing. Anger allowed him to be masochistic. With anger, everything was so much easier…that was anger.
With a great sigh, Dinobot shook away his feelings of doubt. He needed to get away from everything, so swiftly; he maximized and flexed his well-muscled arms, watching his own face on the polished gold of his plates. He stretched out his legs and roared into the darkness. 'RUN!' a voice inside his head screamed. 'RUN!' Therefore, he tensed his leg muscles, and very suddenly, he leaped.
Dinobot landed to the floor twenty feet away with perfect poise, and as soon as he touched the ground he started to sprint ahead, dodging trees, rocks, and animals that caught his way. He ran so fast that everything next to him buzzed past in a complete blur. Only when he ran was he truly free! Life was a blur, a memory…Run!
Run he did. His joints were aching; his breath fading, the cool wind whipping him across his face and the fresh scent of pine the only fuel for him to keep going. And just when he felt as if he ran one more mile, he saw the large cave ahead of him. His base. The Ark.
The large talons on his feet dug into the dirt below him, brining him to an abrupt stop. Dinobot fell to his knees and bent his head and closed his eyes, panting. He clawed into the grass and looked up into the starless, black sky. Then, slowly, he raised and regained his posture, and confidently walked into the entrance to the Autobot ship.
No one could hurt him now. He was hurt beyond death.
As soon as he entered, Dinobot glanced at the scanners, who--sitting on the chair right in front of it asleep--was a snoring Rattrap. Although two past lives ago he would had made a rude comment at the sight, Dinobot stayed silent. Rattrap and his behavior no longer concerned him. Let Rattrap be Rattrap, it made no difference if his ignorance would one day send him to the inferno.
Towards the left of the large bridge was the auto guns center. The seat was empty, which in the very least surprised Dinobot. That certain seat was almost never empty, for Optimus was always on precaution for a Predacon attack.
But what did it matter?
Optimus himself wasn't in sight, so after wandering aimlessly about it, Dinobot decided to retire quietly to his quarters. No one cared if he did or not. Optimus no longer trusted him, so he was always sent on a pathetic patrol, combing different sectors, each of them rarely known to have Predacon activity. Sure, there were a few who understood at least a little what he was feeling. Sometimes Blackarachnia shot him small looks of reassurance, even if it was in the form of her unchanged sadistic smile. But why should Dinobot care? He didn't want anything to do with anyone.
The cold barren halls of the Ark were large. The Greek nymph Echo must have lived in there, for every word any bot said would bounce right back to him. But for Dinobot, the only noise that bounced back at him was the sound of his claws tapping against the metal floor.
Not surprisingly, when Dinobot passed Cheetor's quarters, the young bot inside had his stereo on very loud. What was the band he was listening to? Dinobot struggled to remember. Cheetor had explained who they were once. Oh, yes. Blink-182. That band never much appealed to Dinobot, so Cheetor had given him a bag full of Metallica, Nirvana, and some other music he couldn't seem to remember. Still, he hadn't had the energy to listen to them.
As he was passing by Optimus' quarters, the door slid open. Optimus seemed pleased to see Dinobot and immediately told him to stop. Dinobot halted, a part of him growing angry. Now was not the time he wanted to be interrogated about his patrol. And yet, he remained silent. Optimus seemed not to notice. He didn't even look down to meet Dinobot's piercing, unflickering gaze. "Dinobot," his leader said. "Report?"
Now Dinobot was clearly annoyed. He looked away so his glare wouldn't meet his leader's eyes. "No Predacon activity in or out of Maximal territory," he mumbled carelessly, realizing he'd much rather be listening to Blink-182 than his leader's controlled calm voice.
Optimus stared at Dinobot's expression and saw bitterness and sorrow there, with a pinch of aggravation. Only Optimus had the courage to speak to Dinobot when he had that look on his face. "Dinobot?" he asked. "Are you feeling well?"
"I'm fine," was the harsh answer. Optimus was not surprised by it, however; instead it confirmed the feeling that was tugging in his stomach. Dinobot was no longer who he used to be. He was no longer the warrior Dinobot searching for an honorable death. Optimus didn't know the person standing before him. They had just met.
"It does matter, Dinobot. You are one of my officers, and if there is something that is making you unable to perform your task properly, I must see to it that you--"
Dinobot purred dangerously but made no answer. Instead, he looked up at his commander and struggled to show no emotion. Finally, his jaw clenching in and out, Dinobot snapped angrily, "Oh, go to hell. I don't need any fucking help."
Optimus clearly did not have an idea what the human expression meant. At least, he made no sign of knowing it. After Dinobot had said those exact words, he didn't even flinch. "Dinobot, go see the ships counselor."
Dinobot growled angrily. "Dammit, Optimus!" he snarled, knowing Optimus fully knew what 'dammit' meant. "I will not reduce myself into seeing a counselor like a child whose father—"
A door down the hallway opened. Dinobot stopped in mid-sentence and glared at it. Optimus followed his gaze. For a few seconds, nobody came out of the door. Suddenly, Cheetor came out, a Walkman around his head. He was dancing to the beat of whatever he was listening to. Optimus sighed as Cheetor opened his eyes and caught Dinobot's gaze. Dinobot's expression softened. "Cheetor…" he mumbled. Quietly he escaped Optimus's lecture and slipped into his own room, grateful that his leader had been distracted for at least a few seconds.
"Computer," he commanded, "lock door." It took a few moments for the computer to comply, but that was enough. Optimus banged his fist against it from the outside, yelling "Dinobot! Open the door!"
"Get the fuck away from me!" Dinobot roared back.
There was a silence outside. Optimus heaved a sigh, and walked away.
Gratefully, Dinobot sunk to the floor, welcoming it as he had the two times he had died.