On a cold british morning
on a train bound for Hogwarts
I meet up with a red head
He was just too poor to eat

So he took time a' staring
at the lady with a food cart
the hunger over took him
and he began to speak

He said "freind I've made a life
out of dealing with my brothers
and they've all been to Hogwarts
By the way my name is Ron.

So if you don't mind my saying
I can see you're new to magic
For a taste of your Bott Beans
I'll give you some advise.

So I handed him my box full
and the bastard ate my last one
then he bummed a sickle too
and asked her for a bite

And the boy got hyper active
and his face lost all complection
said "If you're gonna go to Hogwarts
you gotta learn to ride a broom."

You got to know how to hold one
know when to roll em
know when to fly away
and try not to fall

You never wave to the people
when you're targeted by bluggers
there'll be time enough for posing
when you're on the ground

every player knows
that the secret to surviving
is knowing when to throw a game
and knowing what to bet.

cause every bet's a winner
and every games a bruser
and the best that you can hope for
is to die in your sleep
(orginal lyrics; couldn't be funnier than that)

and when he finished speaking
there was this girl Hermione
who came into our cabin
and proceeded to complain

and somewhere in the lecture
the red head's rat had bit her
and in his stangled screams
I found an ace that I could keep

You got to know when to tease her
know when to leave her
know when it's laughable
know when it's not

Harry: You got to know how to hold one
Ron, Hermione, Draco, Neville all together: how to hold one!

Harry: know when to roll em
Chorus: when to roll em!
Harry: know when to fly away
and try not to fall

You never wave to the people
when you're targeted by bluggers... (fade out)