Author's Babbling
Act: 01
No Need For Deadlines
*** Author's Babbling (or the basement of the Shi Ra Mansion) ***
They tell stories about places like this. Stories of Griffins, Dragons, Elves, and other wonderful creatures. What is this place? Why, this is the Realm of Wacko Authors. Some people call it Hammer Space, some Hell; some even call this place Heaven. I prefer to call this place home…
"AWWWWWW! Come on, Criki, quit your lying!" came a baritone voice behind a small young Elvin woman with shoulder length brown hair. "This isn't a Realm and it's not Heaven, Hell, or Hammer Space. This is nothing more than… than… than the place where ever it is you get your funny little ideas!"
The guy was right. This was where all the greats get their ideas. This was a small room of Gothic origin, lit only by candles and computer screen (good thing there are a lot of candles), and it was three hours until dawn.
"Author's Babbling, you ding bat!"
"Scotty's right, Criki," a young woman said. This girl was about the oddest thing you could ever hope to see. Yet, she was nothing more than a strange cross between a cat and a human.
"My name's not Scotty it's Goth!" cried the only male in the room.
"Well…" came the writer. "Technically, you're name is Scotty, you just like to be called Goth."
"Oh, yeah!" cried the guy we now know as Scotty…er… Goth. "Well, you're name is really Suzie! You just like to be called Criki!"
"That's my pen name, moron! No one is supposed to know my real name!"
"Why?"
"To protect the writers. You know that Elves can't take care of themselves," the cat-human told him. Criki boiled with rage. No one disrespected her race and got away with it.
"Shut-up, Aubrey!" cried Suzie… er… Criki… er… oh forget it!
"My pen name's Akira!"
"At least my pen name is female!" stated the person we are just going to call Criki.
Goth had been around women long enough to know when a huge catfight is about to bust lose, so, he tried to stop it.
"Ladies, ladies," he said, flinging back a stray wisp of his blonde hair. "We have a story to write!" grumbling the two women began to work. Criki doing the writing and Akira reading over her shoulder and filling in the blanks, as always. Goth sighed; tonight was going to take more coffee than usual if they were going to meet the deadline.
Goth shivered. Not only was it cold, but just the thought of what Kaitlyn would do to them if they missed deadline (again) was a cold, bitter image.
*** The story ***
Vincent was tired. This wasn't the "just-got-home-from-work" tired. This was "Don't-bother-poking-me-with-a-stick-I-know-I'm-dead" tired. This was a rare form of tired for Vincent, being a vampire, he was already dead.
Climbing into his coffin, he looked forward to a nice long, "Don't-wake-me- for-a-month" sleep. Alas, this was not meant to happen. For not long after he had crawled into his coffin and was well on his way to the Land of Nod, he was awaken by a loud shriek.
"AKIRA! GET THIS WACKED SON OF YOURS OUTTA MY ROOM!" yelled the newest guest at the Shi Ra Mansion.
Great, what did Tyreal do this time?
"Stop yer yelling," yawned Akira. "What'd the boy do this time?"
"AUGH! This perverted little offspring of yours was trying to bite me again!"
"Defeat is such an agony!" whined Ty. Criki was holding the kid by his leg and he was up side down (not very comfortable).
"Boy will be boys," yawned Akira again.
"Yes, well, when your ten year old boy is acting like a sixteen year old, something's wrong!"
"You're beautiful when you're angry!" chirped the young vampire. The flustered author didn't think the comment was funny. Not at all.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" she yelled as she grabbed Ty by the throat.
"That's… not… going to… work!" Ty said, finding it very hard to talk with nails digging into his throat.
"He's right," Akira said, fighting back her giggles. "Tyreal's already dead."
"I'M GONNA STRANGEL HIM!" the Elvin lass roared.
"That won't work either," Akira said. "Ty doesn't breathe."
"Well…" sighed Criki as she eased up on her hold. "I'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH LEAVING A BRUISE ON HIS NECK!"
"Hey, no fair!" called Tyreal. "You wouldn't let me leave one on yours!"
As amusing this talk/fight/murder attempt was, Vincent needed his beauty rest. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!!" he yelled jumping out of his coffin. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, the front door opened.
"Hi," came the voice of a teenaged boy. He walked into the mansion, pasted Vincent, and walked towards Akira, Criki, Goth (who had just ran down from his room), and Tyreal.
Akira and Criki looked this guy over. He was handsome. He had a well- built body, long black hair tied back in a pigtail, and blue/gray eyes. If the two writers weren't so fond of their boyfriends, they would drop them like a hat to have this guy.
"My name's Ranma, can I stay here?"
*** Author's Babbling ***
"Wow!" Akira exclaimed looking over the story. "This is good!"
"Would you really leave me for this Ranma dude?" Goth asked the Elf, depressed.
"No way!" Criki said. "You're too much fun to tease!" she finished in a jesting manner.
"So, what's going to happen next?" Vincent asked.
"First, I'm gonna kill Tyreal… ouch!" Criki groaned, rubbing her head. While noting that one is never to threaten to kill her friend's offspring. "Okay, well, Kait wants a good story right?"
"Right," everyone said in unison.
"And where does inspiration for great stories come from?" Akira said smiling, knowing what her friend was thinking.
"The closet… oh no!" Goth said. "You two are not going to put that boy in the closet!"
"Oh come on!" Akira and Criki said in unison.
"Girls," Vincent reminded them. "Outsiders can't use the closet, you know that."
"Yeah, well, murder is illegal, but do you think that rule is going to stop Kaitlyn if we don't get a good story?" Akira stated.
"Besides," the Elf said. "Ranma's not really an outsider, he is leaving the mansion. Oh, I love the scent of loopholes!"
Goth and Vincent thought for a bit. Putting Ranma in the closet did make sense, and they were going to have to use the closet for this story anyway…
"Alright," said Goth.
"Just this once, we will use the closet on an outsider," Vincent said.
"Yes! This is going to be so much fun!" the girls sang and danced around the room. Goth and Vincent, however, had other things on their minds, but they were both thinking the same thing.
Poor, foolish, Ranma.
***Author's notes*** Awright! One chapter down and 190,000,000 to go! What is this closet? Who is Kaitlyn? What will happen to Ranma? Why are the two writers laughing so evilly? Will this story have anything to do with the Tenchi plotline? Will the insanity ever end? Well, that would be telling now won't it? But, I will answer the last question… HECK NO!
Oh, and I'm not making any money off of this, so your lawyer can't sue me (unless you want the lint in my pockets)! Also, I don't own Ranma ½ or anything else from any other storylines that I might use in the up coming 190,000,000 chapters. But I should!
P.S. Review Please (now you have to 'cause I said "please")! Any and all flames will be used for s'mores (yum)!
Act: 01
No Need For Deadlines
*** Author's Babbling (or the basement of the Shi Ra Mansion) ***
They tell stories about places like this. Stories of Griffins, Dragons, Elves, and other wonderful creatures. What is this place? Why, this is the Realm of Wacko Authors. Some people call it Hammer Space, some Hell; some even call this place Heaven. I prefer to call this place home…
"AWWWWWW! Come on, Criki, quit your lying!" came a baritone voice behind a small young Elvin woman with shoulder length brown hair. "This isn't a Realm and it's not Heaven, Hell, or Hammer Space. This is nothing more than… than… than the place where ever it is you get your funny little ideas!"
The guy was right. This was where all the greats get their ideas. This was a small room of Gothic origin, lit only by candles and computer screen (good thing there are a lot of candles), and it was three hours until dawn.
"Author's Babbling, you ding bat!"
"Scotty's right, Criki," a young woman said. This girl was about the oddest thing you could ever hope to see. Yet, she was nothing more than a strange cross between a cat and a human.
"My name's not Scotty it's Goth!" cried the only male in the room.
"Well…" came the writer. "Technically, you're name is Scotty, you just like to be called Goth."
"Oh, yeah!" cried the guy we now know as Scotty…er… Goth. "Well, you're name is really Suzie! You just like to be called Criki!"
"That's my pen name, moron! No one is supposed to know my real name!"
"Why?"
"To protect the writers. You know that Elves can't take care of themselves," the cat-human told him. Criki boiled with rage. No one disrespected her race and got away with it.
"Shut-up, Aubrey!" cried Suzie… er… Criki… er… oh forget it!
"My pen name's Akira!"
"At least my pen name is female!" stated the person we are just going to call Criki.
Goth had been around women long enough to know when a huge catfight is about to bust lose, so, he tried to stop it.
"Ladies, ladies," he said, flinging back a stray wisp of his blonde hair. "We have a story to write!" grumbling the two women began to work. Criki doing the writing and Akira reading over her shoulder and filling in the blanks, as always. Goth sighed; tonight was going to take more coffee than usual if they were going to meet the deadline.
Goth shivered. Not only was it cold, but just the thought of what Kaitlyn would do to them if they missed deadline (again) was a cold, bitter image.
*** The story ***
Vincent was tired. This wasn't the "just-got-home-from-work" tired. This was "Don't-bother-poking-me-with-a-stick-I-know-I'm-dead" tired. This was a rare form of tired for Vincent, being a vampire, he was already dead.
Climbing into his coffin, he looked forward to a nice long, "Don't-wake-me- for-a-month" sleep. Alas, this was not meant to happen. For not long after he had crawled into his coffin and was well on his way to the Land of Nod, he was awaken by a loud shriek.
"AKIRA! GET THIS WACKED SON OF YOURS OUTTA MY ROOM!" yelled the newest guest at the Shi Ra Mansion.
Great, what did Tyreal do this time?
"Stop yer yelling," yawned Akira. "What'd the boy do this time?"
"AUGH! This perverted little offspring of yours was trying to bite me again!"
"Defeat is such an agony!" whined Ty. Criki was holding the kid by his leg and he was up side down (not very comfortable).
"Boy will be boys," yawned Akira again.
"Yes, well, when your ten year old boy is acting like a sixteen year old, something's wrong!"
"You're beautiful when you're angry!" chirped the young vampire. The flustered author didn't think the comment was funny. Not at all.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" she yelled as she grabbed Ty by the throat.
"That's… not… going to… work!" Ty said, finding it very hard to talk with nails digging into his throat.
"He's right," Akira said, fighting back her giggles. "Tyreal's already dead."
"I'M GONNA STRANGEL HIM!" the Elvin lass roared.
"That won't work either," Akira said. "Ty doesn't breathe."
"Well…" sighed Criki as she eased up on her hold. "I'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH LEAVING A BRUISE ON HIS NECK!"
"Hey, no fair!" called Tyreal. "You wouldn't let me leave one on yours!"
As amusing this talk/fight/murder attempt was, Vincent needed his beauty rest. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!!!!" he yelled jumping out of his coffin. Just as he reached the top of the stairs, the front door opened.
"Hi," came the voice of a teenaged boy. He walked into the mansion, pasted Vincent, and walked towards Akira, Criki, Goth (who had just ran down from his room), and Tyreal.
Akira and Criki looked this guy over. He was handsome. He had a well- built body, long black hair tied back in a pigtail, and blue/gray eyes. If the two writers weren't so fond of their boyfriends, they would drop them like a hat to have this guy.
"My name's Ranma, can I stay here?"
*** Author's Babbling ***
"Wow!" Akira exclaimed looking over the story. "This is good!"
"Would you really leave me for this Ranma dude?" Goth asked the Elf, depressed.
"No way!" Criki said. "You're too much fun to tease!" she finished in a jesting manner.
"So, what's going to happen next?" Vincent asked.
"First, I'm gonna kill Tyreal… ouch!" Criki groaned, rubbing her head. While noting that one is never to threaten to kill her friend's offspring. "Okay, well, Kait wants a good story right?"
"Right," everyone said in unison.
"And where does inspiration for great stories come from?" Akira said smiling, knowing what her friend was thinking.
"The closet… oh no!" Goth said. "You two are not going to put that boy in the closet!"
"Oh come on!" Akira and Criki said in unison.
"Girls," Vincent reminded them. "Outsiders can't use the closet, you know that."
"Yeah, well, murder is illegal, but do you think that rule is going to stop Kaitlyn if we don't get a good story?" Akira stated.
"Besides," the Elf said. "Ranma's not really an outsider, he is leaving the mansion. Oh, I love the scent of loopholes!"
Goth and Vincent thought for a bit. Putting Ranma in the closet did make sense, and they were going to have to use the closet for this story anyway…
"Alright," said Goth.
"Just this once, we will use the closet on an outsider," Vincent said.
"Yes! This is going to be so much fun!" the girls sang and danced around the room. Goth and Vincent, however, had other things on their minds, but they were both thinking the same thing.
Poor, foolish, Ranma.
***Author's notes*** Awright! One chapter down and 190,000,000 to go! What is this closet? Who is Kaitlyn? What will happen to Ranma? Why are the two writers laughing so evilly? Will this story have anything to do with the Tenchi plotline? Will the insanity ever end? Well, that would be telling now won't it? But, I will answer the last question… HECK NO!
Oh, and I'm not making any money off of this, so your lawyer can't sue me (unless you want the lint in my pockets)! Also, I don't own Ranma ½ or anything else from any other storylines that I might use in the up coming 190,000,000 chapters. But I should!
P.S. Review Please (now you have to 'cause I said "please")! Any and all flames will be used for s'mores (yum)!