Chapter 11
"Hey Logan." Original Cindy spoke casually into the phone. When she looked up, Max was shaking her head at O.C. "Ugh…no she's not here. I'll tell her you called."
Max let out a sigh of relief then turned her attention back to the magazine she had been flipping through.
"All right, Original Cindy only has so much patience when it comes to keeping her nose out of her boo's business. I've run out, you have got to tell me what's up with you and Logan."
"I already told you. The treatment is going to take a week to kick in."
"Yeah but that doesn't explain why you won't talk to the man in the mean time. I am sick and tired of hearing your pager go off during all hours of the night. Not to mention, the many times Original Cindy has had to lie to your boy. You ain't here. You're in the shower. You just went to bed. What is up?"
Max shrugged. She really didn't want to get into this, especially since she hadn't told O.C. that it was over between her and Logan. She wanted to tell Logan first but not until the virus was gone. She didn't think a final hug goodbye was asking for too much.
O.C. took a deep breath and then sat down in front of Max. Max continued to flip through the magazine while O.C. stared at her. "Max." Original Cindy said in a serious tone while taking the magazine from Max.
Max knew where this was going. In the past whenever O.C. tried to get Max to talk about the rape, Max would give her a pleading look with her eyes that said she wasn't ready. O.C. always understood and quickly changed the subject.
Max gave O.C. the look but it didn't work this time.
"Look Max, I know you haven't told Logan what happened to you. But I don't understand why you keep avoiding him."
"I'm not avoiding him. I told you. We still can't touch until—"
"The treatment kicks in. Yeah I know. But Max, before there even was a treatment, you two saw each other nearly everyday or at least talked on the phone. I know the real reason you've been avoiding Logan—"
"O.C., I really don't—"
"I know you don't, sugar. All I'm saying is that Logan has no idea what's going on with you. What do you think is going to happen in two days when you two can finally touch? I'll tell you. You're going to find some other reason why you can't be around Logan because the problem is not the virus anymore, boo. You and I both know what the real problem is."
Max shook her head and made a move to get up from the couch but Cindy gently took Max' hand halting her effort.
"The sooner you face it the better off you'll be." Max stared into her friend's eyes as she continued. "You know Logan. You can trust Logan. He'll be there for you." O.C. finished.
"And why should he have to be?" Max said, her emotions rushing to the surface. "Why does he have to deal with yet another thing wrong with Max?"
"Max."
"No I'm serious Cindy." Max' eyes flooded with tears. "I don't deserve Logan and he doesn't deserve to be with someone as disgusting as me. First he had to deal with my seizures. Then I had to tell him that three times a year I turn into some sex-crazed freak show." Max was crying as her voice continued to get louder. "Then he finds out that touching me would trigger a disease that would kill him. But I guess that wasn't much different from the fact of knowing me at all was enough to get him killed. And now this. Yet another thing that Manticore did to me to ensure that I'd always have nightmares of that place. How many things does he have to find out about me until he realizes that I don't deserve love? I don't deserve happiness and I sure as hell don't deserve him!"
"Max stop saying these things." O.C. grabbed Max by her upper arms and tried to get her to face her. Max wouldn't look at her.
"It's true. I'm disgusting. I'm nothing but a man-made killer. I deserved what those guys did to me because I'm nothing." Max said through tears.
"Max stop it. That is not true. Look at me!" O.C. shouted, her own eyes filling with tears.
Max slowly faced her friend.
"Max I love you and care about you. So does Logan. So do Joshua and Sketchy…even Alec. You are not disgusting. None of our lives would be anywhere near as full if you weren't in them." Max continued to shake her head. "Max, anybody who looks at you sees a beautiful person. And that's inside and out."
"I don't see that person, Cindy. Not anymore." Max looked down as fresh tears began to flow.
"You will because from now on, you're gonna let all the people who love and care about you be your mirror. I promise you that soon you'll be seeing yourself the way we see you…the way you really
are." O.C. pulled Max into a hug that she knew her girl needed. While still embracing her, Cindy added
"I already know Logan sees what we all see, but if for some reason telling him what happened to you changes that, then it's Logan that doesn't deserve you."
Max let Original Cindy's words roll around in her head for the rest of that day and the next. A few times she even picked up the phone to call Logan, but in the end, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't deserve Logan and she was right to let him go.
Logan had decided to finally get to the bottom of this. If he saw her getting on her motorcycle with Alec again, he'd chase her down. If she slammed a door in his face, he'd break it down. If she turned her back to him and walked away, he'd trip her. Tomorrow the waiting period for the virus cure to take effect was over and tomorrow he'd go see her.
AN: I'm thinking I can wrap this baby up in two more chapters.
"Hey Logan." Original Cindy spoke casually into the phone. When she looked up, Max was shaking her head at O.C. "Ugh…no she's not here. I'll tell her you called."
Max let out a sigh of relief then turned her attention back to the magazine she had been flipping through.
"All right, Original Cindy only has so much patience when it comes to keeping her nose out of her boo's business. I've run out, you have got to tell me what's up with you and Logan."
"I already told you. The treatment is going to take a week to kick in."
"Yeah but that doesn't explain why you won't talk to the man in the mean time. I am sick and tired of hearing your pager go off during all hours of the night. Not to mention, the many times Original Cindy has had to lie to your boy. You ain't here. You're in the shower. You just went to bed. What is up?"
Max shrugged. She really didn't want to get into this, especially since she hadn't told O.C. that it was over between her and Logan. She wanted to tell Logan first but not until the virus was gone. She didn't think a final hug goodbye was asking for too much.
O.C. took a deep breath and then sat down in front of Max. Max continued to flip through the magazine while O.C. stared at her. "Max." Original Cindy said in a serious tone while taking the magazine from Max.
Max knew where this was going. In the past whenever O.C. tried to get Max to talk about the rape, Max would give her a pleading look with her eyes that said she wasn't ready. O.C. always understood and quickly changed the subject.
Max gave O.C. the look but it didn't work this time.
"Look Max, I know you haven't told Logan what happened to you. But I don't understand why you keep avoiding him."
"I'm not avoiding him. I told you. We still can't touch until—"
"The treatment kicks in. Yeah I know. But Max, before there even was a treatment, you two saw each other nearly everyday or at least talked on the phone. I know the real reason you've been avoiding Logan—"
"O.C., I really don't—"
"I know you don't, sugar. All I'm saying is that Logan has no idea what's going on with you. What do you think is going to happen in two days when you two can finally touch? I'll tell you. You're going to find some other reason why you can't be around Logan because the problem is not the virus anymore, boo. You and I both know what the real problem is."
Max shook her head and made a move to get up from the couch but Cindy gently took Max' hand halting her effort.
"The sooner you face it the better off you'll be." Max stared into her friend's eyes as she continued. "You know Logan. You can trust Logan. He'll be there for you." O.C. finished.
"And why should he have to be?" Max said, her emotions rushing to the surface. "Why does he have to deal with yet another thing wrong with Max?"
"Max."
"No I'm serious Cindy." Max' eyes flooded with tears. "I don't deserve Logan and he doesn't deserve to be with someone as disgusting as me. First he had to deal with my seizures. Then I had to tell him that three times a year I turn into some sex-crazed freak show." Max was crying as her voice continued to get louder. "Then he finds out that touching me would trigger a disease that would kill him. But I guess that wasn't much different from the fact of knowing me at all was enough to get him killed. And now this. Yet another thing that Manticore did to me to ensure that I'd always have nightmares of that place. How many things does he have to find out about me until he realizes that I don't deserve love? I don't deserve happiness and I sure as hell don't deserve him!"
"Max stop saying these things." O.C. grabbed Max by her upper arms and tried to get her to face her. Max wouldn't look at her.
"It's true. I'm disgusting. I'm nothing but a man-made killer. I deserved what those guys did to me because I'm nothing." Max said through tears.
"Max stop it. That is not true. Look at me!" O.C. shouted, her own eyes filling with tears.
Max slowly faced her friend.
"Max I love you and care about you. So does Logan. So do Joshua and Sketchy…even Alec. You are not disgusting. None of our lives would be anywhere near as full if you weren't in them." Max continued to shake her head. "Max, anybody who looks at you sees a beautiful person. And that's inside and out."
"I don't see that person, Cindy. Not anymore." Max looked down as fresh tears began to flow.
"You will because from now on, you're gonna let all the people who love and care about you be your mirror. I promise you that soon you'll be seeing yourself the way we see you…the way you really
are." O.C. pulled Max into a hug that she knew her girl needed. While still embracing her, Cindy added
"I already know Logan sees what we all see, but if for some reason telling him what happened to you changes that, then it's Logan that doesn't deserve you."
Max let Original Cindy's words roll around in her head for the rest of that day and the next. A few times she even picked up the phone to call Logan, but in the end, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't deserve Logan and she was right to let him go.
Logan had decided to finally get to the bottom of this. If he saw her getting on her motorcycle with Alec again, he'd chase her down. If she slammed a door in his face, he'd break it down. If she turned her back to him and walked away, he'd trip her. Tomorrow the waiting period for the virus cure to take effect was over and tomorrow he'd go see her.
AN: I'm thinking I can wrap this baby up in two more chapters.