Chapter 12
Max jumped when she heard the loud pounding at the front door.
"Max, it's Alec."
Max let out a sigh and then rushed over to the door.
"Didn't mean to scare you." Alec said before moving past Max and towards the kitchen. Max opened her mouth to deny being frightened, but quickly shut it knowing that Alec was just as perceptive as she was and therefore immediately recognized the fear Max' body language had conveyed when she opened the door.
"So tomorrow's the big day." Alec said while rummaging through Max' fridge.
"Yeah." Max said unenthusiastically. Alec closed the refrigerator door and looked at Max.
"Max come on. You've been waiting for this for months. What gives?"
Max shrugged.
"Come on." Alec said while putting his arm around her and steering her towards the couch. "Tell your good pal, Alec, all about it." Alec sat down and gently guided Max down next to him.
"I don't deserve, Logan."
"Max."
"It's true. I finally see what Zack, Lydecker, Renfro, and White have been saying all along. I am a Manticore soldier and I should just accept that."
"Max you stopped being Manticore the moment you decided to take control of your life when you escaped that place ten years ago. You had no idea what was out there, all you knew was that the life they planned out for us wasn't good enough. God Max, when I think about what you did…you don't know how much I envy you."
"Doesn't matter that I ran that night. It wasn't far or fast enough. Manticore never really left me during those ten years in the world and they still go me back. "
"You're so much more than Manticore. Sure Manticore made us, they tortured us, they trained us to be killers. But Max, there was always something inside you that Manticore couldn't touch. You never let them win. Not when you were little. Not when they got you back. You are so special, Maxie.
"Yeah right."
"It's true. When I think about what they did to you at Manticore it makes me sick to my stomach." Alec took his arms from around Max and placed his hands in his lap. He studied them before continuing in a quiet voice. "Mostly because I could have been there."
Max looked at Alec in shock
"If I hadn't been in Psyche Ops, I could just as easily been one of the Xs assigned to…to…hurt you. I'd like to think that I wouldn't have gone through with it but I was a true blue Manticore soldier back then. As hard as it is to admit, I would have followed orders."
Max felt her whole body still at the truth and implications of Alec's words. The two remained silent for several minutes before Alec gathered the resolve to continue.
"But you, Max…you never would have done anything you knew was wrong. Why do you think they did that to you? They were out of their minds trying to find ways to break you."
"They succeeded." Max said softly.
"No they didn't. You got out again. Not only that you took down the whole facility."
"But that's only because I used another Manticore trick and made myself forget."
"Exactly Max. That's exactly what I'm talking about. If you had given into the pain of what happened that night, eventually you would have been theirs to mold right back into the solider they wanted you to be. So you did what you had to do to keep that from happening." Alec looked over at Max. He could tell that he was only starting to get to her. She was still a long way from completely accepting what he was saying.
"Don't let this go to your head or anything but I…admire you…a lot….and I…thank you."
"For what?" Max said incredulously.
"I thought I was only Manticore. While I was there that was fine and even when I got out I thought it made me better. But looking at you, seeing all you've gone through and all you've done for others, seeing how Manticore values and lessons have no place in your life, made me realize that Mantcore doesn't define me either. The bar code on my neck doesn't define me. It's like…when you gave me the name Alec, you also gave me the choice of how I want to live my life and what kind of person I want to be." Alec watched as Max' eyes shifted to the side in contemplation. "Please remember that. Remember that Manticore doesn't define you either. It's all up to you, Max."
Max jumped when she heard the loud pounding at the front door.
"Max, it's Alec."
Max let out a sigh and then rushed over to the door.
"Didn't mean to scare you." Alec said before moving past Max and towards the kitchen. Max opened her mouth to deny being frightened, but quickly shut it knowing that Alec was just as perceptive as she was and therefore immediately recognized the fear Max' body language had conveyed when she opened the door.
"So tomorrow's the big day." Alec said while rummaging through Max' fridge.
"Yeah." Max said unenthusiastically. Alec closed the refrigerator door and looked at Max.
"Max come on. You've been waiting for this for months. What gives?"
Max shrugged.
"Come on." Alec said while putting his arm around her and steering her towards the couch. "Tell your good pal, Alec, all about it." Alec sat down and gently guided Max down next to him.
"I don't deserve, Logan."
"Max."
"It's true. I finally see what Zack, Lydecker, Renfro, and White have been saying all along. I am a Manticore soldier and I should just accept that."
"Max you stopped being Manticore the moment you decided to take control of your life when you escaped that place ten years ago. You had no idea what was out there, all you knew was that the life they planned out for us wasn't good enough. God Max, when I think about what you did…you don't know how much I envy you."
"Doesn't matter that I ran that night. It wasn't far or fast enough. Manticore never really left me during those ten years in the world and they still go me back. "
"You're so much more than Manticore. Sure Manticore made us, they tortured us, they trained us to be killers. But Max, there was always something inside you that Manticore couldn't touch. You never let them win. Not when you were little. Not when they got you back. You are so special, Maxie.
"Yeah right."
"It's true. When I think about what they did to you at Manticore it makes me sick to my stomach." Alec took his arms from around Max and placed his hands in his lap. He studied them before continuing in a quiet voice. "Mostly because I could have been there."
Max looked at Alec in shock
"If I hadn't been in Psyche Ops, I could just as easily been one of the Xs assigned to…to…hurt you. I'd like to think that I wouldn't have gone through with it but I was a true blue Manticore soldier back then. As hard as it is to admit, I would have followed orders."
Max felt her whole body still at the truth and implications of Alec's words. The two remained silent for several minutes before Alec gathered the resolve to continue.
"But you, Max…you never would have done anything you knew was wrong. Why do you think they did that to you? They were out of their minds trying to find ways to break you."
"They succeeded." Max said softly.
"No they didn't. You got out again. Not only that you took down the whole facility."
"But that's only because I used another Manticore trick and made myself forget."
"Exactly Max. That's exactly what I'm talking about. If you had given into the pain of what happened that night, eventually you would have been theirs to mold right back into the solider they wanted you to be. So you did what you had to do to keep that from happening." Alec looked over at Max. He could tell that he was only starting to get to her. She was still a long way from completely accepting what he was saying.
"Don't let this go to your head or anything but I…admire you…a lot….and I…thank you."
"For what?" Max said incredulously.
"I thought I was only Manticore. While I was there that was fine and even when I got out I thought it made me better. But looking at you, seeing all you've gone through and all you've done for others, seeing how Manticore values and lessons have no place in your life, made me realize that Mantcore doesn't define me either. The bar code on my neck doesn't define me. It's like…when you gave me the name Alec, you also gave me the choice of how I want to live my life and what kind of person I want to be." Alec watched as Max' eyes shifted to the side in contemplation. "Please remember that. Remember that Manticore doesn't define you either. It's all up to you, Max."