Be Cruel To Be Kind: A Love Story

A childhood classic

In the marauders, Lily's and most of all Snapekin's first year:

Snape: James, I don't have any friends. You're my only friend. Will you be my friend?

James: Go away, grease boy.

Snape: My mummy says my hair isn't greasy, just extremely, extremely shiny. You're just jealous. So there!

*Snape walks off lovingly fondling his (at that time) greasy hair that had bugs visibly crawling in it.*