Notes: Against my expectations I managed to write this part relatively fast. Whew. And it's long chapter, roo(Long for me :-P). I thought that I had lost my ideas for this story, but then I woke up in the middle of the night and somethings just popped into my head, and I thought: Hey! That's it! You will continue 'Avalanche' like that! And I stood up to write it down, because I knew exactly I would have forgotten it in the morning. Hehe. I stumbled over my old clothes, hit my toe and walked right into the chair until I managed it to switch on the light. And here I am!!! I like the way it developped. Let's see how the next chapters will be! (And sorry for spelling mistakes. I was too lazy to re-read. Forgive me!)

Avalanche - White Danger

by Kaeera

Chapter 5: Why me? Why?


"Stop it, I wanna sleep.", Miyako mumbled and immediately regretted it. Her mouth was filled with cold snow, and damn, it hurt! She tried to spat it out, but realised that she was too tired. Big weights were lying on her back, on her shoulders, on her whole body, and she just couldn't ignore it.
The girl wanted, more than ever, sleep, but something prevented her. She didn't know what it was, though; some people would call it guardian angel or fate, maybe it was only luck.
It was a damn luck, because she, as a city girl, had never learned the rules of the snow, of the cold winters. In the city, there was always a warm shop in the near, or the subway...hundreds of possibilities where you could go when you were freezing.

Nobody had ever explained to Miyako that, if you are outside in a snowstorm, you CAN'T SLEEP!
That you can never - never - close your eyes, even when you are tired. Because with 99% you won't wake up from this so-called-sleep. Because sleep was equivalent with death!

The girl did have, indeed, luck that her mind was so full that she couldn't sleep, couldn't relax.

Miyako, of course, wasn't happy about this. After all, it was really not comfortable. She had never thought that someone could freeze that much, but obviously it was possible. It was hurting.

And suddenly another thought popped into her mind.

I could die.

The realization was there, from one minute to the other.

I could just die here!

Being death; vanished, disappeared...

What will my parents think of this? My siblings? My friends? When I am no longer there?
They will miss me, of course; and mother will cry. I don't want to....make them sad.

No.

I don't want to die!

So many things...so many things I wanted to do! Finishing school, starting a job....it is just too early!

And Hawkmon...what will he think? What will he feel? I can't leave him like that, he's my friend, my partner. He depends on me, he needs me - and I need him. Dying...dying without him? Alone?

The pictures of her friends, her family, her digimon, were whirling around in her head. She loved them all, and they all cared for her. Leaving them....that was just not possible! She gulped. Death had always been far away, something which happened to you when you are old, when the best of your live is over!
But the best years of her life had just started! She didn't want to...leave. Mum, Dad, all those people. And then another images appeared. Snow, everywhere, and the overwhelming feeling of fear, pure panic! Screams around her, what voice? Ken...
Avalanche, stupid avalanche. Why? Why had the nature done this? She had helped to save the world, she as a digidestined. She was wearing the crests of Sincerity and Love...Why?

Hawkmon, my dear friend, where are you?

I did never say what a wonderful friend you are....did never say that you are the best digimon on earth...

Fear, Snow, Cold, Screams, Ken, Pain, Darkness, Dreams, Cold...lonely.

Dying.

Ken...I always wanted to tell you that I like you...is it too late?

* * *

Hikari in the meantime had calmed down. It all reminded her of the ocean of the darkness - the same hopeless feelings, the same dark thoughts. It kinda relieved her to know - to remember - that she had managed it to survive such an situation in her life. Maybe...maybe she would survive again.

Does Tai know of this?

Probably not. I guess he's at home, watching tv and eating crisps or something like that.

Good ol' Tai.

You couldn't have a better brother, could you? A bit overprotective, though, but so caring.

He was always my idol. Strong. Caring. Brave. Funny.

The girl moved around, trying to find a more comfortable position, but she soon had to give it up. It was just unpossible to reach any level of snugness in this mess.
How funny; the panic was still there, a screaming voice in the back of her mind, but now she could ignore it. Now she had the strength to do it.
Kari didn't know where she gained the strength from; maybe from her crest, but it was helping her and therefore she was grateful. She could ignore the cold; not much, but a little, and it helped to think about...things!

Like death, for example. It could be possible that I'll die here, young, at the age of 14.

What will happen to Gatomon if I...die?

Will she have to die, too? I wouldn't want that...but on the other hand Gatomon wouldn't want to live without me, I know it. I feel it.

It was hopeless. So many people would be affected by her death, and it made herl already guilty.
One part of her mind told her that it was really stupid to feel guilty when you are on the edge, but Hikari Kamiya did. Taichi was a good brother, and he didn't deserve it.
Her parents were good parents and they didn't deserve it either.
And her friends, too.
But it was always like that, wasn't it? Unfair. UNFAIR!
Evil has more power. And the good ones, they have to fight with only hope in their hearts.

Unfair.

Like what happened to TK and Matt. They loved each other, two brothers, and then they had to leave...didn't want to, but it broke her hearts. Especially Yamato's. Hikari could tell that it was mainly of this he became that distant they all knew him. Until something melted away, far away in the Digoworld, with the help of Gabumon and his friends.

Unfair.

Like what happened to little kids in the times of war. Their parents dead, their homes destroyed, why? What did they done? Because they were...born?
And eyes which used to be full of laughter, eyes which sparkled when they saw something new, these eyes became dull and lifeless - dead without dying.

Was her death unfair?

And like the other kids Kari had to ask one simple question, a question nearly everybody asked when somethinh happened to him/her.

Why?

But there was no answer in the darkness, nevermind how often she repeated it.

Why me?

* * *


"I don't want to wait! I hate it! I want to do something!", Gatomon repeated again and again and paced around in the room. "We are there for protecting them, not for...waiting!", she spat out and continued her circling. The other three digimon had given it up to calm her down long time ago; they all knew that Gatomon was very overprotective, and arguing with her made no sense - she would just stamp you in the ground.
And then again, they were all feeling the same. They idea of their partners - no, their friends, stuck somewhere in the snow, hurt, alone, frightened...while they were sitting here in the warmth was just unbearable!

Hawkmon wished desperately that he could use his wings to fly there, to search for his Miyako. She was so innocent and naive, she shouldn't have to go through such a situation. He wondered if it might have an affect on her cheering personailty....hopefully not.

The little Wormmon had the same thoughts. His friend, his master, his idol...in danger, and he couldn't help. Useless. Oh, it reminded him painfully of the days of the digimon kaiser, where he hadn't been able to protect Ken from the darkness, to help him....to be his friend. He had just been a burden, like always, a small green worm, useless...

Veemon...yeah, Veemon. The cheerful blue digimon had never really worried about something, like his partner. In his opinion, worrying took too much time, and it wasn't worth the effort. But now, for the first time in his short life, he found himself worrying about the person he cared about, the person he loved. He had always believed that Daisuke could manage everything, but now, in the current situation, this belief faded. After all, he wasn't there to help him.
Normally they did everything together, and the boy had no secret which Veemon didn't know...and there were many secrets Daisuke had, even if people believed different things. First of all the secret that even Davis cried sometimes in the night, that even he felt depressed, alone, frightened....

That Davis was human, too. Some people didn't seem to see that. They just assumed that they could do everything with him, just because he wasn't as intelligent as, for example, Koushiro. They did never look into his heart.

But Veemon knew. He knew his partner very well, and that was the reason he loved him so deeply. Although many people made fun of him, Davis never gave up. He was always there for his friends, helped, even if he couldn't find the right words and acted like an idiot. And even if his friends didn't help him when he needed them, didn't even notice that he needed...something. Help. Support.

The digimon sighed. And now? Daisuke needed him, but he...he couldn't help. What a great friend was he, after all?? If he just could digivolve...if he just....

* * *

It's logical to assume that I will die.

Thoughts like that were wandering through Ken's head, and he didn't like them. His life had been a mess for so long time, but now he had found friends. Had even learned to love, even if he could never hope that this person would love him back. But still, it was nice to experience such unknown feelings.

Osamu, will I come to you?

Do I have to leave Mum and Dad?


He was sure that his death would destroy them. Osamu's death had been terrible enough, and now him?

Wormon wouldn't survive it, too...

No.

He would not die! And for the first time in his life, Ken pushed all the logic away and acted like Davis: He hoped. It didn't mind what his brain told him. He didn't want to die, he wanted to live.

The genius had always admired Davis for this attitude. His stubborn friend did never listen to others; he did what his heart told him, and mostly he was right. When he had stopped being kaizer, it had surprised him how easy Davis seemed to forget - and how he wanted to accept him as friend.
He had always assumed that it was because he wasn't the smartest, but then the realization had hit him.
Daisuke had never forgotten what he had done, but he had forgiven.

And with this single action, he had changed his whole life. Something Ken would never forget.

He hoped that his friend was in a better shape than him. Certainly. Maybe he would just hop out of the snow and yell something stupid like: "Hey! That hurt, you stupid mountain!"
Ken smiled. That would fit.

The thought that his friend could be injured or even be...dead, didn't cross his mind. Or better: he didn't want that it crossed his mind.

Like he didn't want to accept that Miyako could be dead, or Kari. But especially Miyako. This special laughter of her, these sparkling eyes...they should not be lost. No. They couldn't be lost.

She was far too special for such an early death.

Oh, please! They have to survive...I have to survive...


* * *

Davis dreamed. Or better: he thought that he dreamed, but wasn't quite sure. The blue sky, the mountains, the glittering snow....everything was so realistic, and yet he knew that it couldn't be true, because he had been buried under an avalanche.
The pain didn't make his situation easier. Although he had no injuries(at least no injuries he could see), several parts of his body were hurting. Especially his leg, and he feared that it might be broken.

Great....that means no soccer over the next weeks!

He snorted. Analyzing the situation, he could consider himself as lucky when a broken leg was the only injury.
They often called him stupid, because his grades in school weren't the best and because he acted impulsive. But he wasn't. And Daisuke knew that his situation was really bad when his dream became so....realistic. That meant that his body was hurt, that he was unconscious, and that was never good.

Maybe he was already dying.

This thought let him shudder. Dying...he had never thought about death. People who wanted to commit suicide - he had never understood them. And now? Wasn't it unfair that _he_, who wanted to live, wanted to enjoy, had to die??

Wasn't life always unfair?

Daisuke looked on his hands. They were white, of the cold. His jacket was no real protecting of the slow, but steady power of this icy paradise. Beautiful, and dangerous.

White, everything was white....only a little blue spot far away.

Davis rubbed his eyes. Blue spot? Here? In the mountains? And it was moving...it came nearer!
And then it wasn't a spot anymore, he could see legs and arms and big violet eyes - and it was running nearer.

That's the proof. I am dreaming.

He felt the urge to rub his eyes again, but he was frozen. And the little creature reached him...

"DAVIS!!!!", yelled Veemon and jumped in his arms. "Davis! Are you okay? What happened to you? We all thought you were dead...oh, I'm so happy, you don't believe how terrible it was...", the little digimon bubbled happily and hugged his friend.
Daisuke blinked and whispered hoarsely: "Veemon? Is that really you?"
"Of course it is me!", his small friend shouted, tears on his cheeks.
"But - how?", wondered the boy, "I thought that I was dreaming...I mean, the avalanche and all this...."

"I don't know it either", Veemon responded, "I was in the room with the others, ya know, Hawkmon, Gatomon and Wormmon, and we were all worried...and suddenly I was here, in the snow. I searched for you, and then you are here, and I thought that I might have lost you...", he sobbed and hugged Davis again. Then he looked him straight into the eyes. "But I guess that it's a dream, because I didn't leave the room, maybe I have fallen asleep or so."

"Then you entered my dream - somehow?", Daisuke laughed. " I have no clue how you managed this, but I am really happy about it!"

"Me too!", Veemon admitted and joined the laughter.

And for a moment - it was short, but it was there - the boy forgot his pain, his fear and the cold, for he had a friend. Everything can happen, as long as you have friends who will support you...

To be continued....

-------

Hehehe....so, why did Veemon appear? Is it a dream? Or what?*sticks out her tongue* I know it! I know it!*sings! - And you have to wait*evil laughter* Okay, I have notes for some people:

Settiai - You posted my picture*smiles* Thank you very much! Your reviews always encourage me!!!*hugs Settiai*

Mandi - I must admit, cliffhangers are a powerful tool, but my stories just develop like that....believe me, I don't want to torture you*tries to hide her grin*, but sometimes it is as if my stories have an own life...*sighs*

Demi-Veemons-Candy-Eater - (I like the name^^) Wow! You reviewed every chapter so far! Thanks a lot! I love getting reviews*sobs* But don't eat too much candy - poor Veemon deserves it!*laughs*

Rave - I don't know if you'll read this, but yes, Legolas is cute, too! Love them both!*sighs* Everytime I see them, I could hug them. I mean, normally I'm not like that, honestly, but these two....*sighs again*

Latrisha - hehehe, für dich auf Deutsch! Danke für die reviews...und arbeit 'mer mal weiter an unserem HP fic! Bwahaha!

Kari_of_Light - I won't finish this before my Harry Potter story, because the first chapter of 'Confusing Experiences and Hidden Feelings' is already posted. Sorry for that! Anyway, thanks for the review!

And thanks to all the other reviewers like GLAY, chopsticks, Hi!, krimsonkiller, Neokitty and all the others I have forgotten! THANK YOU! Reviews make me feel so much better, and they actually do encourage me to continue!!

Kaeera