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Like lions, I am tamed by your presence. I'm captivated.
In the hall I pause by the door to your room. Can you feel me outside? Will you open the door? But no. I fear these are false hopes, and I don't want to know for sure. Things are better the way they are now -- though I suffer, though I ache for you -- than they might be if I tried to change them. I know you, but I don't know how you feel. Do you feel anything for me? I keep walking down the hall to my room. Alone. Again.
Lying in the silence I think I hear your footsteps in the hall, but I know it's my imagination. It always is. You are sleeping, but how can I with you so close and yet so far away?
Now (sweet torture!) I think I hear a knock on my door. I'm dreaming, yet awake; I'm in such a state. Another knock! It seems so real, but often I hear them and open the door only to see nothing there. Nothing but darkness which is my sole nighttime companion, nothing but emptiness which is all I have.
"Quatre." Your sweet voice calls my name. That voice, like music filling my heart, so deep and enthralling. "Are you awake?" No, my love, I cannot be - it must be a dream.
My door opens. I close my eyes. I cannot breathe. I'm still as death. Though you are quiet, I hear you enter, I feel you kneel beside my bed. You whisper my name again. So real it almost hurts, but if I open my eyes you'll be gone. I cannot open my eyes again and have them filled with nothing else but tears.
And now, too much, I feel the touch of your hand upon my brow, brushing the stray blonde hairs from my face. So gentle, this touch, like a feather or a light breeze, almost not like a touch at all and yet very much one. The most real touch I've ever felt, and sadly the most unreal.
I cannot stop them now as the tears form in my still-closed eyes. One solitary drop falls down my cheek. "I love you Trowa." I whisper.
"Koi." You say. Beloved. "Open your eyes." I can feel your breath on my neck as if it were real, another tear escapes. "Please." You say. You want to help me, you don't want me to cry, but I can't open my eyes -- not again. I won't.
You kiss my eyelids softly, first one and then the other, stopping my tears with your soft lips. Your hair touches my cheek as you do so. I always wondered how it would feel. And now your lips find mine for a brief, chaste kiss. My eyes close tighter still. I hear you sigh.
"Open them." You say, and I no longer can resist.
Like the lions, I obey.