"The Headless Aftermath and Other Rats in the Sun."
A piece of prose by
The seriously misconstrued Phoenix Down
*Just a quick note from the beloved Phoenix Down- addressing the review page for this story:
Very perceptive, Yuffie143! I did use the name, "Julius," to allude to Julius Caesar! And yes, twistedly, the red head from Midgar- Johnny- is Cid's son- in my sick and wicked world. I sort of ah... alluded to my Vincent Valentine story about the mansion thing. In the story, Vincent's father was a Turk, and owned the Shin-Ra mansion- and let it go to shit. You wouldn't have known that unless you read the story. (I sort of have a thing for Vincent Valentine.) Go ahead and use any idea of mine that you want. I don't care. And thanks, Yuffie, for the compliments on my poe-et-try that I use in my writing.
For the sake of all cheese, and only for that reason, I continue with the story.
The Headless AfTeRmAtH and Other Rats in the SuN.
"And the wild regrets, and the bloody sweats. None so well as I; for he who lives more than one, more deaths then one must die." (Oscar Wilde [1854-1900], playwright.)
"Don't... Don't get the wrong idea, though."
"I'm not. But don't go bezerk on me or anything."
"I can't promise you that." Vincent spoke as he leaned against the wall catching his breath- for a moment he did not feel at all human- he felt like a chaotic beast.
"Then, your coming with me?" Yuffie asked hopefully.
"Only to stop them from destroying my mansion."
"Will you help me find Cloud and all of them?"
"I still don't understand your motivation." Vincent caught his breath, and stood strait. Yuffie noticed that he smelt a little like decay and cold winter time.
He took the torch, and slowly began to walk out into the cavern basement of the mansion.
She followed him in silence; together they walked out into the daylight.
~
Tifa watched the sizzling, the hissing, and the strips of bacon contort and write under the heat of the frying pan.
She still was getting over the weirdest night of her life.
The things that Barret said to her- will their friendship ever be the same?
Things were curling up and spilling out like fat in a frying pan.
She heard the sounds of Marlene waking up; she had to go to school this morning.
Tifa drained the grease from the pan, and laid out the strips of bacon upon a paper towel. The toast was almost done toasting. It would pop soon.
She felt like she was going to pop, too.
How could Barret SAY that he lo-
"Hey, uh, aunt Tifa. Smells good..." Marlene came down, rubbing the sleep and morning from her ten year old eyes.
"Hey, kiddo. Want some bacon?"
"Sure." She grunted as she sat down. The wooden chair squeaked as it slid against the kitchen floor.
~
Reeve knocked on the door. He KNEW that he was in...
"Dante, open the door, I have to talk to you about something!"
There was a scrambling, and a thud.
Then, a pause.
The door flung open. The smell of sex permeated from the crack in the hotel room door. Dante was in his boxers and a t-shirt. His blonde, bleached hair that was normally plastered and smoothed back was in a complete disarray. Upon seeing him, Reeve took a step back, adjusted his tie, and cleared his throat.
"Hm. Yes. Well. Sorry to disturb you. But it is something about one of your campaign policies that I am having a problem with."
"Better make this quick. I don't see why this can't wait for later. I'm ENTERTAINING, Reeve. Something I think you should try to do more often."
"It's the Shin-Ra mansion." Reeve said finally.
Dante turned around, and lit a cigarette.
"What about it?" He blew a mouthful of smoke into Reeve's face.
"Don't tare it down if your elected. And I'm betting you are..."
"DANTE! sweetie... who's that at the door...?"
Julius paused, and glanced back, then turned to Reeve again.
"Why not? You know what else I could tare down if I were elected? Huh? The Shin-Ra Toy Department. Yeah. That's right. Bugger off, Reeve, I'm busy."
"But... but..." Reeve backed away as the door slammed in his face.
"It isn't JUST that... You can't do what I think you are planning to do. It's not just the mansion... Dante." Reeve spoke out loud to himself as he walked away.
~
"So, whose winning?"
"No one, yet."
"$#%$ What do you mean, 'no one?'"
"The election hasn't technically started. It will in a few minutes, sweetie."
Cid cursed under his breath.
"I KNOW that #$@%$ kid is going to win."
Sheila passed him a compassionately, worried look.
"Who did you vote for?" She asked as she kneeled down in front of the television, and turned up the volume.
"...............That kid." Cid replied as he walked into the kitchen to make some tea.
"Why?" Sheila asked with a amused voice.
"Because he's for the Space Program. SHE isn't. For some $%$#^ stupid reason. I WOULD have voted for HER you know."
"I know." Sheila replied as she followed him into the kitchen.
~
Dante was sweating.
"You can do this, sir."
"I..I know." Dante Julius said as he smoothed back his greasy, bleached hair.
"Your going to WIN!" The woman he slept with the night before fixed his tie and kissed his forehead.
He had no intention of marring her. She was a stripper.
A huge man pushed the woman aside, and wrapped his heavy arm around Julius' shoulders. In-between the man's red, hairy, fingers rested a fat, stinky cigar.
His voice sounded like sandpaper and dead maple leaves. He smelt of sweat, bourbon, and dry gin.
He turned Dante's back to everyone as he whispered into his ear.
"When your elected, your doin' the thing I told ya to do, aren't ya, boy?"
Dante looked up into the man's face.
The man was the size and shape of a huge, black bull. The man's face was puffed out, unshaven, fat and pink.
His hair was weak, gray, and almost completely thinned into disappearance.
He carried a felt cowboy hat in one hand, and a cigar in the other.
Dante removed the man's heavy arm, and brushed his suit off.
Then, he tightened his blood colored tie.
"Don't you worry. I'll do it. Just give me a little more time. I still have yet to be elected."
The man grunted like a hungry bear.
"I just have a little problem..."
"What's that?" The man asked as he stuffed the cigar in-between his yellow teeth.
"I think someone is wise to me. His name is Reeve- he works for the Toy Department."
"Why d' ya think he's wise t' yer?" The man glanced off suspiciously behind his back- making sure no one was listening.
"He came to my room last night. He was complaining about the Shin-Ra mansion."
"You think he knows why we are tearin' it down?"
"I don't think it was because of Valentine. I think he knows about the extra-chaber-room."
"SHHHH!!!" The man hissed with his crooked, ruined teeth. "Keep it down. We will talk about this later. Jus' get out der, and get elected!" The man put on his tan cowboy hat, and pushed Dante through the curtains, and onto the stage plat form.
The crowd went wild.
A piece of prose by
The seriously misconstrued Phoenix Down
*Just a quick note from the beloved Phoenix Down- addressing the review page for this story:
Very perceptive, Yuffie143! I did use the name, "Julius," to allude to Julius Caesar! And yes, twistedly, the red head from Midgar- Johnny- is Cid's son- in my sick and wicked world. I sort of ah... alluded to my Vincent Valentine story about the mansion thing. In the story, Vincent's father was a Turk, and owned the Shin-Ra mansion- and let it go to shit. You wouldn't have known that unless you read the story. (I sort of have a thing for Vincent Valentine.) Go ahead and use any idea of mine that you want. I don't care. And thanks, Yuffie, for the compliments on my poe-et-try that I use in my writing.
For the sake of all cheese, and only for that reason, I continue with the story.
The Headless AfTeRmAtH and Other Rats in the SuN.
"And the wild regrets, and the bloody sweats. None so well as I; for he who lives more than one, more deaths then one must die." (Oscar Wilde [1854-1900], playwright.)
"Don't... Don't get the wrong idea, though."
"I'm not. But don't go bezerk on me or anything."
"I can't promise you that." Vincent spoke as he leaned against the wall catching his breath- for a moment he did not feel at all human- he felt like a chaotic beast.
"Then, your coming with me?" Yuffie asked hopefully.
"Only to stop them from destroying my mansion."
"Will you help me find Cloud and all of them?"
"I still don't understand your motivation." Vincent caught his breath, and stood strait. Yuffie noticed that he smelt a little like decay and cold winter time.
He took the torch, and slowly began to walk out into the cavern basement of the mansion.
She followed him in silence; together they walked out into the daylight.
~
Tifa watched the sizzling, the hissing, and the strips of bacon contort and write under the heat of the frying pan.
She still was getting over the weirdest night of her life.
The things that Barret said to her- will their friendship ever be the same?
Things were curling up and spilling out like fat in a frying pan.
She heard the sounds of Marlene waking up; she had to go to school this morning.
Tifa drained the grease from the pan, and laid out the strips of bacon upon a paper towel. The toast was almost done toasting. It would pop soon.
She felt like she was going to pop, too.
How could Barret SAY that he lo-
"Hey, uh, aunt Tifa. Smells good..." Marlene came down, rubbing the sleep and morning from her ten year old eyes.
"Hey, kiddo. Want some bacon?"
"Sure." She grunted as she sat down. The wooden chair squeaked as it slid against the kitchen floor.
~
Reeve knocked on the door. He KNEW that he was in...
"Dante, open the door, I have to talk to you about something!"
There was a scrambling, and a thud.
Then, a pause.
The door flung open. The smell of sex permeated from the crack in the hotel room door. Dante was in his boxers and a t-shirt. His blonde, bleached hair that was normally plastered and smoothed back was in a complete disarray. Upon seeing him, Reeve took a step back, adjusted his tie, and cleared his throat.
"Hm. Yes. Well. Sorry to disturb you. But it is something about one of your campaign policies that I am having a problem with."
"Better make this quick. I don't see why this can't wait for later. I'm ENTERTAINING, Reeve. Something I think you should try to do more often."
"It's the Shin-Ra mansion." Reeve said finally.
Dante turned around, and lit a cigarette.
"What about it?" He blew a mouthful of smoke into Reeve's face.
"Don't tare it down if your elected. And I'm betting you are..."
"DANTE! sweetie... who's that at the door...?"
Julius paused, and glanced back, then turned to Reeve again.
"Why not? You know what else I could tare down if I were elected? Huh? The Shin-Ra Toy Department. Yeah. That's right. Bugger off, Reeve, I'm busy."
"But... but..." Reeve backed away as the door slammed in his face.
"It isn't JUST that... You can't do what I think you are planning to do. It's not just the mansion... Dante." Reeve spoke out loud to himself as he walked away.
~
"So, whose winning?"
"No one, yet."
"$#%$ What do you mean, 'no one?'"
"The election hasn't technically started. It will in a few minutes, sweetie."
Cid cursed under his breath.
"I KNOW that #$@%$ kid is going to win."
Sheila passed him a compassionately, worried look.
"Who did you vote for?" She asked as she kneeled down in front of the television, and turned up the volume.
"...............That kid." Cid replied as he walked into the kitchen to make some tea.
"Why?" Sheila asked with a amused voice.
"Because he's for the Space Program. SHE isn't. For some $%$#^ stupid reason. I WOULD have voted for HER you know."
"I know." Sheila replied as she followed him into the kitchen.
~
Dante was sweating.
"You can do this, sir."
"I..I know." Dante Julius said as he smoothed back his greasy, bleached hair.
"Your going to WIN!" The woman he slept with the night before fixed his tie and kissed his forehead.
He had no intention of marring her. She was a stripper.
A huge man pushed the woman aside, and wrapped his heavy arm around Julius' shoulders. In-between the man's red, hairy, fingers rested a fat, stinky cigar.
His voice sounded like sandpaper and dead maple leaves. He smelt of sweat, bourbon, and dry gin.
He turned Dante's back to everyone as he whispered into his ear.
"When your elected, your doin' the thing I told ya to do, aren't ya, boy?"
Dante looked up into the man's face.
The man was the size and shape of a huge, black bull. The man's face was puffed out, unshaven, fat and pink.
His hair was weak, gray, and almost completely thinned into disappearance.
He carried a felt cowboy hat in one hand, and a cigar in the other.
Dante removed the man's heavy arm, and brushed his suit off.
Then, he tightened his blood colored tie.
"Don't you worry. I'll do it. Just give me a little more time. I still have yet to be elected."
The man grunted like a hungry bear.
"I just have a little problem..."
"What's that?" The man asked as he stuffed the cigar in-between his yellow teeth.
"I think someone is wise to me. His name is Reeve- he works for the Toy Department."
"Why d' ya think he's wise t' yer?" The man glanced off suspiciously behind his back- making sure no one was listening.
"He came to my room last night. He was complaining about the Shin-Ra mansion."
"You think he knows why we are tearin' it down?"
"I don't think it was because of Valentine. I think he knows about the extra-chaber-room."
"SHHHH!!!" The man hissed with his crooked, ruined teeth. "Keep it down. We will talk about this later. Jus' get out der, and get elected!" The man put on his tan cowboy hat, and pushed Dante through the curtains, and onto the stage plat form.
The crowd went wild.