Tori: OI! I've been trying so hard to focus on this Toby thing (Shoujocon… Don't ask…) that everything else in the world BUT what I need comes to mind!
Ke: Yep, more randomness… Stanton's going to kill you if you don't finish that fic…
Tori: *hides under table* It's haaaaaaaaaaaard!!!
Ke: You're pathetic.
Tori: Well, this was a request from…someone… that I just can't get out of my head! Here we are! The spoof of Douglas Adam's Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy! 1x2 3xDuet 5x4(strange pairing!)
Gundam Pilots' Guide To The Galaxy
"Heero, what exactly are you doing on the laptop of yours?" Duo asked and sat on the corner of Heero's bed, trying to glimpse the computer screen over his shoulder. The Perfect Soldier shifted slightly, obscuring the screen again and Duo pouted.
"Please tell me?"
"Hn."
"Hee-chan!" The braided boy fixed Heero with a look to melt ice and that's all it took.
"I'm writing a book."
Duo's eyes lit up and he flopped lazily into Heero's lap, pinning the boy's arms to his thighs. "What kind of book? Can I be in it?"
"Oh, but you are…"
"Really!?"
"Yes, in the chapter 'People and Places to Avoid'. I even put your picture in."
The insult sailed right over Duo's head. "A picture? Are you writing a children's book? It's too many words to be a manga…" he remarked and started blatantly at the screen. Heero wrenched his arm from underneath his boyfriend and hit the save and quit buttons in that order.
"None of your business."
Duo jumped up and ran to the bedroom door. He flung it open and hung in the doorway yelling, "Heero's writing a children's book! Heero's writing a-" Unfortunately, he didn't get any further than that as Heero pounced on him and wrestled the Deathscythe pilot to the floor.
"I am not writing a children's book," the Japanese boy growled and mussed Duo's hair before letting him up. The touching of the hair was about the worst possible thing that Heero could have done at that moment, and it served it's purpose well. Duo gave a sharp cry and scampered off to the bathroom to un-do, brush, and re-braid his precious plait.
Heero relaxed again on the bed with the beginnings of an evil smirk on his face, but a knock at the open door interrupted his perfecting it.
"Heero?" a feminine voice purred and he looked to see Duet clutching a sheet to her chest. Her half-lidded eyes and unbound hair, aside from the obvious lack of clothes, told him exactly where she had been and that Trowa was going to saunter by in a few minutes grinning like he just ate a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
"What do you want?"
"Where did you leave Duo? Think carefully…"
"What do you want with Duo?"
"I have a feeling-ACK!" Duet's sentence was cut off when Duo snapped a wet towel at her. She dropped her sheet and, without a second thought, started chasing him down the hall.
"My towel!" Heero cried in a sudden burst of emotion and ran after them. He caught up and grabbed the two pilots by their wrists. Duo dropped the towel and Duet slapped Heero across the face with her free hand.
"Duet, I'm gay. I couldn't care less…" he sighed and refused to loosen his grip. The un-braided girl frowned and fixed him with a menacing glare. "Now, Duo, if you touch my towel again, I'll have to destroy you." Heero released both of them, bent over, picked up his towel, and when he straightened up, Duet smacked him again.
"Need I remind you…" here he leaned over and placed a light kiss on Duo's lips, "…I love Duo."
"Yeah, I know, but… don't do that," Duet hissed and walked off. She was intercepted by a grinning Trowa halfway down the hall and disappeared back into his room.
After that ordeal, the Wing pilot walked back to his own room, calculating the improbability factor that he was actually going to be left alone for the rest of the day. When he reached his door, the powers of two were climbing into the hundred millions, and all his math was put to waste when he stepped inside to find Quatre rifling through the CDs on Heero's shelf.
"What are you doing?"
Quatre looked up at him innocently. "Is this some kind of trick question…?"
The Perfect Soldier rolled his eyes and fell face-first onto his bed, trying to covey to Quatre that he could have whatever he wanted as long as he took it and left quickly. The blonde boy took advantage of the message and grabbed his entire Greenday collection. "I'll bring it back later!" he smiled and quietly shut the door behind him.
As soon as the coast was clear, Heero whipped out his laptop again and began to type thoughtfully but furiously.
"When visiting Colony L2, be sure to avoid," He thought for a moment and hit the backspace exactly 42 times and began his sentence anew. "Don't ever visit Colony L2." Smiling triumphantly, he rested a hand on the towel lying on the bed next to him.
Now he could finally get some real work done…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tori: It's not over! This is just the first chapter!
Ke: You start all these things and you never finish them…
Tori: I intend to keep this short… I should have it done by, oh, say… Thursday?
Ke & Tori: *look at each other and laugh hysterically* WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ke: *wiping a little tear* Just make sure you finish before lunch! AHAHAHA!
Tori: Well, I have *gasp* to put some time aside for a nice *gasp* cup of tea!
Ke & Tori: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *rolling on floor*
Stanton: *randomly walks in* Hey, guys! Check out my new watch! *proudly holds up digital watch*
Ke & Tori: *exchange looks* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Stanton: …what's so funny? I think my digital watch is pretty neat…
AN:
I did some checking around and I found out that I AM THE FIRST ON FANFICTION.NET TO WRITE GUNDAM WING / HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE CROSSOVERS!
I FEEL SPECIAL!
But seriously… This is a problem. We need MORE!!!