Chapter 2
Cheryl shuffled through the assorted items in the 'IN' tray on Steve's desk. Her attention was piqued when she came to the padded envelope. The crudely written address began "the voodoo detectives" and was followed by the precinct number and address. Taking a tissue from her pocket she lifted up the envelope, tore through the top with her pen and peered inside. She turned the package upside down, allowing it to spill it's contents onto Steve's cluttered desk. Carefully using the end of the pen she flipped each of the three photos over in turn.
Ten minutes later Chief Masters was holding the same three photos in gloved hands. The envelope lay in a plastic evidence bag on his desk as Steve and Cheryl sat opposite him.
"Could be a hoax" he started. Steve and Cheryl shot unbelieving looks at each other. "I know" Masters continued "nobody was meant to know about the photos. But it's possible, I mean all it takes is for a bit of loose talk or one of those journalists having more brains than we gave them credit for."
Cheryl moved uncomfortably in her chair. "You really believe that?" she finally barked.
Masters dropped the photos on top of the plastic bag. "No. No I don't." He removed a glove and ran a hand across his brow.
"The dolls are too much of a match" Steve observed. "Sure the press knew dolls were involved but they never got that much detail. They're exactly the same style as the others."
"OK next question" Cheryl asked "Why us? There's two other guys on this case, and the feds, why no photos for them?"
"I'll get Crowther and Boardman to check their mail now" Masters answered "I won't tell them what they're looking for," he added. "Only four people know about these photos, the three of us and the jerk who sent them. I'll get Len to take a look at them, for prints and stuff. But that's it. I don't want you telling anyone about this, not those guys" he signalled towards the detectives and FBI agents milling around in the office "and certainly no civilians. Understand?" Cheryl and Steve nodded, but Masters continued to glare directly at Steve. "That means the old man too Sloan"
"Fine" Steve replied with forced respect, offended by his boss' inference.
"OK, back to it" Masters chirped as Steve and Cheryl turned to leave his office.
Once they were outside Cheryl glanced nervously towards Steve "Well?" she asked, her tone slightly frosty.
"As he says, less people who know the better". He paused "You OK?"
"Sure" she answered, far too quickly for Steve's liking. Cheryl stormed towards the door and Steve followed a pace behind her. When they reached the car park he gently caught hold of her arm.
"Hey, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want a truthful answer. Are you OK?" he repeated.
"No I'm not OK" Cheryl barked, trying desperately to keep her voice down. "Some guy is butchering women, and then two nights ago he turned his hand to kids too. Now this creep is threatening us and we are nowhere near catching him. That bothers me Steve, in a whole lot of ways that bothers me!" Her tone was aggressive, and Steve couldn't help but feel hurt by her reaction to him.
"I'm sorry" he offered "I'm frustrated too, and this photo stuff doesn't sit easy with me either."
Cheryl shook her head "I've got stuff to do, see y'later" she snapped. Steve watched as she slammed the car door and sped out of the parking lot.
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The tall broad figure stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk. Heavy trees lining the gardens compounded the darkness, the only light a hazy beam from the street lamp above. The figure nervously crossed the road, glancing back to his car then over to the small single-story house. Climbing the steps slowly he wrapped sharply on the door and stood back.
Inside, the abrupt knock startled Cheryl as she sat curled in front of the television. She turned the volume down and skipped towards the entrance. Peering through the spy hole she screwed up her face a little when she couldn't quite make out the figure, then cautiously undid the latch. The door opened slightly and the man appeared from the shadows.
"Can I come in?" Steve asked gently.
Cheryl sighed then opened the door wider. Without speaking Steve walked in and took up a stance between the TV and the sofa. Cheryl side stepped him and switched the set off.
"So what's up?" she asked cheerily as her eyes scanned towards the kitchen to avoid his.
"That's what I came to ask you" Steve replied. Cheryl shrugged.
He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away and headed across the room. Steve followed her. "C'mon. You sped away from work today, said you'd be back but didn't show up. I tried calling, both your mobile and here."
"Oh so you're checking up on me now! Well tell Masters I'll be in…."
"Don't" Steve interrupted her "You know why I'm here. I was worried. I wanted to see if you're OK."
"Frightened the 'voodoo' man got me, filled me with pins or tied me up like the doll in the photo?"
Steve didn't answer; he could sense his partners growing anxiety as the slightest hint of a tremor entered her voice.
"Hey, I'm not even sure that doll was meant to be me. You I could see, but mine had a bit too much hair didn't you think?" she laughed. But the laugh was hollow and they both knew it.
"What we saw the other night was terrible" he began despite Cheryl's attempts to keep the mood light. "We've both seen bad stuff in our time but something like that effects you, it has to. It doesn't mean we're not good at our job, or weak, or anything else, it just means we're still human beings at the end of the day and it would be criminal if we didn't let our emotions come to light after seeing something like that." Cheryl didn't react except to cross her arms defensively.
"I know you're an experienced officer, been threatened and worse in your time, but it doesn't make those photo's any less of a shock to see either. They freaked me out a bit, even if they didn't you. The way you've been the last couple of days, I was worried about you" Steve said again as he took a step closer. "I'm worried how upset you were the other night. I'm worried that you look like you haven't slept a wink since."
"Look who's talking" she smiled and Steve grinned despite himself. He took another step closer and reached out again. This time Cheryl didn't move as he rested his hand on her shoulder. "I'm worried that we've barely spoken since that night."
The silence echoed throughout the house and Steve could feel the tension in his partner's shoulders. Somewhere in his head the lyrics to the song he'd heard on the car radio began to taunt him.
I've got loads and loads of patience,
And I'm just as proud as you,
But if it goes on 'til I'm dead and gone,
I won't come running on after you.
*Too true* he thought to himself. The feelings he had for Cheryl passed the professional boundary, but he wouldn't pressure her and he certainly wasn't ready to lay his pride on the line. He had to gauge her reaction first. With his hands still resting heavily on her shoulders the pair stood together in silence. The song played on in Steve's mind;
But if you enjoy remembering when you were my best friend,
Oh I'd really love to wake up sleeping in your arms again.
He tried to suppress a smile at the very thought of waking up next to Cheryl again. He must have failed, and caught Cheryl looking up at him, smiling yet confused. Steve let his arms fall clumsily down to her hips, holding her loosely he looked into her deep brown eyes for an eternity.
"Tell me?" he whispered.
"What's to tell?" Cheryl waited for a reply that never came. "Nothing happened, I was upset, yeah, and you crashed here. No big story so what's to talk about?" Her voice was low and melodic.
"I'm not trying to make this difficult" he assured her softly "I just want to know."
"Know what Steve?" she snapped, the change in tone startling him "we're partners and inevitably that spills over into our personal lives once in a while, but don't make a big deal out of it OK?"
Steve leant back against the counter, his hands shaking slightly. Cheryl pulled away and headed into the living room where she dropped into a chair. She pulled her knees in close to herself and rested her chin on top of them. She stared at the blank TV screen.
"I didn't come here to upset you Cheryl. I just wanted to be sure that we're OK. We are OK aren't we?" he asked without facing her.
"We?" she waited for clarification of his statement.
"We" he turned to face her but she was staring at the floor now. "We as in two people who work together. We as in two people who enjoy each other's company." He watched her fumble with the remote control. "We as in" he hesitated. As if on cue Cheryl turned towards him and their eyes met. Steve felt a jolt course through his body from his feet, straight up his spine to the top of his head. He waited a moment to catch breath then continued. "Is there another 'we'?" he asked gently, the expectancy brimming in his voice.
"We are colleagues, we are friends" she replied, her voice wavering. "Do you think there's another 'we'?"
*Answering a question with a question* Steve thought, *putting the emphasis back on me*. If he told her he thought there was another 'we' things would've inevitably become awkward, no matter what her response. If he said no…, there was no way he could honestly say no.
Steve moved towards the sofa and perched on the arm, leaning slightly towards his partner still curled in the neighbouring chair. "I think there could be" he whispered, trying to chew the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling. A good, non-committal answer, not a 'yes', but not a 'no'. Cheryl recognised the cowardice in his reply and a grin spread slowly across her face. "When I stayed here the other night" Steve continued with more conviction in his voice now, "I knew what you were going through, because we are colleagues. I wanted to stay and make sure you were OK because we are friends. It's a good combination" he offered.
"It is" she agreed.
"I like being with you" Cheryl tried to hide her embarrassment as Steve began speaking again "I think we get on well together and I know we respect each other." Cheryl faced him now, smiling wryly. "I also think you are, eh.." Steve's face became engulfed in a wide grin and took a sharp breath, unsure where to direct his eyes. "I also think you're a very attractive woman."
"Are you hitting on me Sloan?" Cheryl feigned horror and Steve couldn't hide his relief at her breaking of the tension. "I hear what you're saying" she continued, her smile dropping slowly "we've got a good basis for there to be another 'we', but that's not a reason in itself, is it?"
"No, but if that's what we wanted it's a good start." Cheryl looked up at her partner, trying to sort through the many conflicting emotions in her mind. "I wasn't asking for any answers" Steve assured her, seeing the pained expression on her face. "I didn't come here to upset you."
"I know" she nodded.
"But I was worried that you maybe felt that the other night was, I don't know, wrong somehow. That you were upset and I took advantage, crossed the mark."
Cheryl reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "Not at all, I wanted you to stay, I'm glad you did" she assured him. "I know I've been a little distant these last few days but none of it is your fault. You're right, I got pretty shook up by the crime scene and then…" she shrugged. "I've always relied on myself Steve. Even before my divorce I hated to feel like I needed somebody, my independence is very important to me. It feels like a failure for me to turn to you and ask you to stay the night because I'm scared or upset. I know that's not rational, that those are the times we need friends but it's not in my nature." She squeezed his arm lightly but he didn't quite feel it "I was frightened when I realised how good it felt just having you there beside me."
Steve slid down onto the sofa and patted the space beside him. Cheryl reluctantly joined him. "Does that mean you aren't strong or independent anymore?" he asked.
Cheryl shook her head. "No" she whispered, knowing full well what he was trying to prove.
"Exactly. Wanting to be close to somebody and needing somebody are two different things. I wanted to be close to you too, I wanted to hold you and make sure you were OK. But that doesn't mean I think you can't take care of yourself. Is that what was worrying you?" he asked.
She nodded slowly "You saw me freaked out that night, and if I'd hung around today you'd have seen me freaked by those photo's too. You need to be able to trust me Steve, there are time's when we're covering each others backs and our lives depend on that trust. I don't want you looking back to check on me or thinking that I'm not going to be able to cover you because you've seen me a wreck the night before. It's exactly why they don't let married couples work in the same department, conflict of interests."
Steve thought about it for a while. "If things did change between us, if that's what we both wanted, I can't promise you one hundred percent that our working relationship wouldn't change a little too. But I can't see it being too much different, I'd still trust you like I do now, and I'd still worry about you like I do now."
Cheryl passed the palms of her hands across her face "I don't know" she mumbled. Steve thought about slipping his arm around her shoulder but changed his mind. He rubbed his hands slowly together before letting them rest in his lap. "This case is too much" Cheryl blurted from beside him "it's got me too confused. If this was any other time I…I.."
"It's OK, it's OK" he reassured her
"Right now I need you too much as a friend" she continued, her voice close to breaking
"Then I'm here for you, no pressure"
"After this is over, when things are more normal at work then maybe, I mean if you still want we can.."
"Sshh" Steve enveloped her in his arms as she began to shake "It's OK." He held her until her breathing was again soft and even and her eyes were lightly closed. He closed his too, not to sleep, just to savour being alone together, so close to one another.
Just as had happened on their first evening together, Steve found himself hypnotised by the rhythm of her breathing. Cheryl whimpered quietly as she buried her face deeper into Steve's chest, and he felt her grip on his upper arm tighten. He also felt himself drifting to sleep. Some time later he reluctantly opened his eyes and stood slowly, gently cradling and lowering Cheryl's head to the seat as she slumped into the space he'd made. He grinned to himself looking down at her, then began bending to pick Cheryl up from where she lay. But he paused, realising that it would be the gallant thing to do, but it probably not as dignified in reality as in his head. Instead he leant over and gently brushed a finger across her cheek until her eyelids fluttered open.
"C'mon" he whispered huskily "I know for a fact you've got a perfectly good bed next door" then sensing her hesitation he smiled "Don't worry Banks, I promise to behave."
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