Wagging Their Tales In Shame
The Little Mermaid with Matt, Jeff and Lita
Disclaimer: I only own Jadyn. And in this particular chapter, that REALLY upsets me.
~~~
-We once again open with JADYN in her plush chair. She looks ecstatic-
JADYN: Hi. What do you say we skip all the formalities and bring in the stars?
-With a *poof*, MATT and JEFF HARDY and LITA find themselves lying in various places on the floor. MATT has no shirt on, LITA'S baggy pants are unbuttoned and JEFF has lipstick all over his face-
LITA: What the hell? Where are we?
JADYN: In my study.
-JADYN runs over to MATT and JEFF. JEFF seems thrilled about this. MATT looks annoyed-
MATT: Why are we here?
JADYN: Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. You're going to act out a story that I narrate.
JEFF: Awesome. That sounds fun!
LITA: Uh-uh. We don't have to do that.
JADYN: Oh yes, you do. It's a clause in your contracts. Page thirty-six, paragraph two, clause b.
-MATT and LITA pull their contracts out of their pockets and begin looking. JADYN continues stroking JEFF'S hair-
MATT: Damn. She's right.
JADYN: Of course I'm right. I'm very good friends with a one, Vinnie Mac. Now why don't we start?
JEFF: Okay!
JADYN: Today we're doing the story of the Little Mermaid. For parts, Lita, you will be Ariel, the little mermaid. Jeff, you can be Eric, her handsome prince. And Matt, since you were mean and didn't let me pet your hair, you not only get to be the evil Ursula, who was part octopus, but you also get to be Sebastian, the talking and singing lobster, and Flounder, that ugly and annoying bastard fish.
MATT: This is so not fair.
JADYN: Who said it was supposed to be? Let's get on with the story, shall we?
~~~
THE LITTLE MERMAID with MATT, JEFF and LITA
-The set opens up with a large rock in front of an 'ocean', which, in reality, is just a canvas backdrop. LITA is sitting on this rock, wearing a pair of zip-up fins and a purple bra, size 32 B. JEFF is standing off to the side wearing a pair of gray knickerbockers and a poufy white shirt. MATT is sitting below the rock, wearing lobster hand-claws, fake yellow and blue fins, and an octopus suit. He is pouting-
NARRATOR: Once there was this half-human/half-fish hybrid girl named Ariel. She was ridiculously ugly and she couldn't sing worth beans, yet she kept showing her face and singing. One day a really hot, rich guy named Eric crashed his yacht because he was kind of clumsy. Ariel rescued him and fell in love with him.
-JEFF enters on a fake boat, and then does a Swanton Bomb off of it. The boat bursts into flames. LITA sighs and picks JEFF up by his turquoise hair. She then makes fake lovey-dovey eyes at him-
NARRATOR: Even though Ariel was in love with Eric, he couldn't live underwater like she could. So Ariel's two friends, a Jamaican lobster and a bastard fish sang a song.
MATT: #Oh, Ariel, he's a human! A human! And not Cuban! So take him back to land or he'll DIE DIE DIE!#
NARRATOR: While the song didn't exactly rhyme, Ariel got the message and brought the sexy lad back to land. She left him on the sand and swam back down to the bottom of the ocean. There she met with the evil Ursula to spy on Eric, which everyone knows is destructive to a relationship…
LITA: Oh, Ursula, show me Eric.
MATT: Only is you give me something.
LITA: What do you want?
MATT: Your HOT SEX, BABY!
-MATT grabs LITA and they begin to strip each other of clothing. JADYN shrugs-
JADYN: As that's all the time we have for today, I guess that's the moral for the tale of The Little Mermaid. Only engage in lesbian sex if you want something that you can't get on your own. Come here, Jeffy.
-JEFF comes and sits at JADYN'S feet. She begins stroking his hair again and the two wave goodbye. MATT and LITA are engaged in acts that can't be shown on your screen, but off to the side we can see LITA'S bra and hear moans of ecstasy. And… oh my god, is that BILLY'S cock?! Uh, join us next time?-
The Little Mermaid with Matt, Jeff and Lita
Disclaimer: I only own Jadyn. And in this particular chapter, that REALLY upsets me.
~~~
-We once again open with JADYN in her plush chair. She looks ecstatic-
JADYN: Hi. What do you say we skip all the formalities and bring in the stars?
-With a *poof*, MATT and JEFF HARDY and LITA find themselves lying in various places on the floor. MATT has no shirt on, LITA'S baggy pants are unbuttoned and JEFF has lipstick all over his face-
LITA: What the hell? Where are we?
JADYN: In my study.
-JADYN runs over to MATT and JEFF. JEFF seems thrilled about this. MATT looks annoyed-
MATT: Why are we here?
JADYN: Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. You're going to act out a story that I narrate.
JEFF: Awesome. That sounds fun!
LITA: Uh-uh. We don't have to do that.
JADYN: Oh yes, you do. It's a clause in your contracts. Page thirty-six, paragraph two, clause b.
-MATT and LITA pull their contracts out of their pockets and begin looking. JADYN continues stroking JEFF'S hair-
MATT: Damn. She's right.
JADYN: Of course I'm right. I'm very good friends with a one, Vinnie Mac. Now why don't we start?
JEFF: Okay!
JADYN: Today we're doing the story of the Little Mermaid. For parts, Lita, you will be Ariel, the little mermaid. Jeff, you can be Eric, her handsome prince. And Matt, since you were mean and didn't let me pet your hair, you not only get to be the evil Ursula, who was part octopus, but you also get to be Sebastian, the talking and singing lobster, and Flounder, that ugly and annoying bastard fish.
MATT: This is so not fair.
JADYN: Who said it was supposed to be? Let's get on with the story, shall we?
~~~
THE LITTLE MERMAID with MATT, JEFF and LITA
-The set opens up with a large rock in front of an 'ocean', which, in reality, is just a canvas backdrop. LITA is sitting on this rock, wearing a pair of zip-up fins and a purple bra, size 32 B. JEFF is standing off to the side wearing a pair of gray knickerbockers and a poufy white shirt. MATT is sitting below the rock, wearing lobster hand-claws, fake yellow and blue fins, and an octopus suit. He is pouting-
NARRATOR: Once there was this half-human/half-fish hybrid girl named Ariel. She was ridiculously ugly and she couldn't sing worth beans, yet she kept showing her face and singing. One day a really hot, rich guy named Eric crashed his yacht because he was kind of clumsy. Ariel rescued him and fell in love with him.
-JEFF enters on a fake boat, and then does a Swanton Bomb off of it. The boat bursts into flames. LITA sighs and picks JEFF up by his turquoise hair. She then makes fake lovey-dovey eyes at him-
NARRATOR: Even though Ariel was in love with Eric, he couldn't live underwater like she could. So Ariel's two friends, a Jamaican lobster and a bastard fish sang a song.
MATT: #Oh, Ariel, he's a human! A human! And not Cuban! So take him back to land or he'll DIE DIE DIE!#
NARRATOR: While the song didn't exactly rhyme, Ariel got the message and brought the sexy lad back to land. She left him on the sand and swam back down to the bottom of the ocean. There she met with the evil Ursula to spy on Eric, which everyone knows is destructive to a relationship…
LITA: Oh, Ursula, show me Eric.
MATT: Only is you give me something.
LITA: What do you want?
MATT: Your HOT SEX, BABY!
-MATT grabs LITA and they begin to strip each other of clothing. JADYN shrugs-
JADYN: As that's all the time we have for today, I guess that's the moral for the tale of The Little Mermaid. Only engage in lesbian sex if you want something that you can't get on your own. Come here, Jeffy.
-JEFF comes and sits at JADYN'S feet. She begins stroking his hair again and the two wave goodbye. MATT and LITA are engaged in acts that can't be shown on your screen, but off to the side we can see LITA'S bra and hear moans of ecstasy. And… oh my god, is that BILLY'S cock?! Uh, join us next time?-