Could someone please review my story, please?
I updated my bio! Check it out, it's actually a serious bio. Okay, now onto the story.
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Chapter 9: Blake
As soon as it jumped through the window, the Innkeeper screamed, dived behind the counter, and hid there, cowering. Rob and Jake both looked at the figure and realized it was probably the Soul Devourer the Innkeeper was talking about.
He was about 4 feet and 9 inches tall, with pure black skin and abnormally large eyes. His hair was curled into a cue in the back (Author's Note: A cue is like a ponytail, but longer, the things China-men used to wear). He was wearing black jeans. There was a scythe that was strapped to his back (Author's Note: A scythe is the blade the Grim Reaper uses), and he was holding a gigantic broadsword as he shifted into a battle position. There was also a circular jewel on his forehead. "Don't trust anyone with a jewel on his forehead," Rob muttered to Jake, who nodded.
There was suddenly a noise from outside, and a cloaked figure jumped through the broken window, but then the jeweled person turned and slashed the at the cloaked man in mid-air, connecting with his hidden face and sending him against the wall. "Whoever he was, that had to have killed him," Rob muttered. Jake heard a noise and saw a Dreamlander, a Koopa, and a Yoshi coming down the stair case, obviously to see what the noise was. "Stay up there!!!" Rob yelled at them.
To their surprise, the cloaked man started to stir, then got back up and said, "my eye. You'll pay for that!!!." And rushed at the black man, but was then stabbed through the chest, and fell over again. A Hylian and two more cloaked figures jumped through the window. Jake and Rob both looked at the Hylian, and recognized her at once. "It's Ashley," Jake whispered to Rob, who nodded.
Ashley looked down at the cloaked figure on the ground, bleeding green blood, then looked at the black man angrily and shouted, "you bastard!!! I'll kill you!!!" And then, before they could even blink, she had unslung her bow and shot the black man in the chest, who then dropped the broadsword and keeled over.
Ashley ran up to the cloaked man and said, "this can't be happening... this just can't be happening..." and started crying, but then the cloaked man started to stir again, and the black man got up.
The black man, looking around and assessing the situation, saw the cloaked man's face, and showed fear as he stumbled back and said, "oh, crap... he's... and I... damn!!!" and jumped back through the window, leaving the broadsword on the floor.
Then another cloaked figure ran down the stairs, looked at the blood, then looked at the broadsword, walked over to it and picked it up. Then he walked to the bleeding person and tried to pick him up, but Ashley jumped in front of him, and shouted, "you leave him alone!!!"
Then, from underneath the cloak, the man said to Ashley, in a powerful sounding voice, "If you don't want him to kill us all, you'll let me take care of him."
Ashley then walked to the side, but never took her eyes off the man. The man then picked the bleeding man up and walked up the stairs.
Then the Dreamlander, Yoshi, and Koopa they had seen before ran down and looked at the room. Then one of the other cloaked figures finally spoke up, "chaos, isn't it?"
Ashley was staring at the green blood on the ground, and muttered, "I hope he'll be all right, we had just found each other again. It's not fair!"
Then the other cloaked figure said something, looking at them, "wait a second... Jake? Rob? What are you doing here?"
Rob was about to say something, but Jake interrupted, "I'm sorry, do we know you?"
"Yeah, of course," the figure said, taking off the hood. After seeing the looks on their faces, the Raichu head they saw said, "oh, I forgot about the change thing. You guys recognize Ashley, don't you? It's me, Mark."
Ashley, finally looking up, said, "Jake and Rob? Hi." She said sadly, and started staring at the blood again.
"Ashley? Jake? Rob?" the Dreamlander, Yoshi and Koopa said at the same time.
(Author's note: you get the idea. Let's skip ahead to ten minutes later when they finally get who's-who straightened out.)
"Ashley," Cole said, "who was that cloaked guy that got hurt?"
Ashley looked up from the blood again, and said to him, "believe it or not, that was Brian."
"Brian?" Everyone but Ashley, Nick and Mark said, surprised.
"Yeah." Ashley said sadly. "I hope he's all right..." she said again.
The cloaked man who took Brian upstairs walked back down the stairs and said, "alright, you can see him now. I warn you, it's not pretty. He's taken some damage, but he'll be alright."
Ashley ran up the stairs as soon as he finished the sentence. The others quickly followed her. When they got to the right room, Ashley stopped them all and said, "I just want a minute alone with him, okay?" Then, before they could answer, she shut the door in their faces.
Ashley walked up to the bed Omega was on, his bloodstained cloak and Hylian shirt laying on the floor beside him. He was sitting up, then turned, revealing a large green scar over his right eye, which now had no pupil. Ashley looked at his chest and was surprised to see that there was only another large green scar, no cut at all.
After looking at her and smiling for about ten seconds, Brian said, "Ashley, who was that guy?"
She looked surprised, then said, "I don't care. What I care about is he almost killed you!!!"
"No, not him," Omega said, shaking his head, "the man who took me up here and saved me."
"I didn't save you," the cloaked man said, coming in the room and ignoring Ashley's looks, "because you couldn't have died. I don't know what the Hell Blake thought he was doing with your sword."
"Blake?"
"The boy who stabbed you."
"He looked a lot like Black to me, except about eight years younger, and a different hairdo," Omega said to Ashley, but not taking his eyes off the cloaked man.
"That's because he was Black's little brother," the cloaked man said, "with the power of illusions."
"What the Hell are you talking about? Who are you?"
"How rude of me. I haven't even introduced myself," the man said, taking off the cloak.
His skin was gray, and all he was wearing was a pair of Hylian shorts. His hair was like Brian's, and he had a circular jewel on his forehead. "I don't have a given name, but most call me Angel. I have to talk to you, in private," he added, eyeing Ashley.
"Ashley, could you leave for a second?" Brian said, "I need to talk to this guy. I'll get you when you can come in."
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That's the end of this chapter, so see you next time!
I updated my bio! Check it out, it's actually a serious bio. Okay, now onto the story.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 9: Blake
As soon as it jumped through the window, the Innkeeper screamed, dived behind the counter, and hid there, cowering. Rob and Jake both looked at the figure and realized it was probably the Soul Devourer the Innkeeper was talking about.
He was about 4 feet and 9 inches tall, with pure black skin and abnormally large eyes. His hair was curled into a cue in the back (Author's Note: A cue is like a ponytail, but longer, the things China-men used to wear). He was wearing black jeans. There was a scythe that was strapped to his back (Author's Note: A scythe is the blade the Grim Reaper uses), and he was holding a gigantic broadsword as he shifted into a battle position. There was also a circular jewel on his forehead. "Don't trust anyone with a jewel on his forehead," Rob muttered to Jake, who nodded.
There was suddenly a noise from outside, and a cloaked figure jumped through the broken window, but then the jeweled person turned and slashed the at the cloaked man in mid-air, connecting with his hidden face and sending him against the wall. "Whoever he was, that had to have killed him," Rob muttered. Jake heard a noise and saw a Dreamlander, a Koopa, and a Yoshi coming down the stair case, obviously to see what the noise was. "Stay up there!!!" Rob yelled at them.
To their surprise, the cloaked man started to stir, then got back up and said, "my eye. You'll pay for that!!!." And rushed at the black man, but was then stabbed through the chest, and fell over again. A Hylian and two more cloaked figures jumped through the window. Jake and Rob both looked at the Hylian, and recognized her at once. "It's Ashley," Jake whispered to Rob, who nodded.
Ashley looked down at the cloaked figure on the ground, bleeding green blood, then looked at the black man angrily and shouted, "you bastard!!! I'll kill you!!!" And then, before they could even blink, she had unslung her bow and shot the black man in the chest, who then dropped the broadsword and keeled over.
Ashley ran up to the cloaked man and said, "this can't be happening... this just can't be happening..." and started crying, but then the cloaked man started to stir again, and the black man got up.
The black man, looking around and assessing the situation, saw the cloaked man's face, and showed fear as he stumbled back and said, "oh, crap... he's... and I... damn!!!" and jumped back through the window, leaving the broadsword on the floor.
Then another cloaked figure ran down the stairs, looked at the blood, then looked at the broadsword, walked over to it and picked it up. Then he walked to the bleeding person and tried to pick him up, but Ashley jumped in front of him, and shouted, "you leave him alone!!!"
Then, from underneath the cloak, the man said to Ashley, in a powerful sounding voice, "If you don't want him to kill us all, you'll let me take care of him."
Ashley then walked to the side, but never took her eyes off the man. The man then picked the bleeding man up and walked up the stairs.
Then the Dreamlander, Yoshi, and Koopa they had seen before ran down and looked at the room. Then one of the other cloaked figures finally spoke up, "chaos, isn't it?"
Ashley was staring at the green blood on the ground, and muttered, "I hope he'll be all right, we had just found each other again. It's not fair!"
Then the other cloaked figure said something, looking at them, "wait a second... Jake? Rob? What are you doing here?"
Rob was about to say something, but Jake interrupted, "I'm sorry, do we know you?"
"Yeah, of course," the figure said, taking off the hood. After seeing the looks on their faces, the Raichu head they saw said, "oh, I forgot about the change thing. You guys recognize Ashley, don't you? It's me, Mark."
Ashley, finally looking up, said, "Jake and Rob? Hi." She said sadly, and started staring at the blood again.
"Ashley? Jake? Rob?" the Dreamlander, Yoshi and Koopa said at the same time.
(Author's note: you get the idea. Let's skip ahead to ten minutes later when they finally get who's-who straightened out.)
"Ashley," Cole said, "who was that cloaked guy that got hurt?"
Ashley looked up from the blood again, and said to him, "believe it or not, that was Brian."
"Brian?" Everyone but Ashley, Nick and Mark said, surprised.
"Yeah." Ashley said sadly. "I hope he's all right..." she said again.
The cloaked man who took Brian upstairs walked back down the stairs and said, "alright, you can see him now. I warn you, it's not pretty. He's taken some damage, but he'll be alright."
Ashley ran up the stairs as soon as he finished the sentence. The others quickly followed her. When they got to the right room, Ashley stopped them all and said, "I just want a minute alone with him, okay?" Then, before they could answer, she shut the door in their faces.
Ashley walked up to the bed Omega was on, his bloodstained cloak and Hylian shirt laying on the floor beside him. He was sitting up, then turned, revealing a large green scar over his right eye, which now had no pupil. Ashley looked at his chest and was surprised to see that there was only another large green scar, no cut at all.
After looking at her and smiling for about ten seconds, Brian said, "Ashley, who was that guy?"
She looked surprised, then said, "I don't care. What I care about is he almost killed you!!!"
"No, not him," Omega said, shaking his head, "the man who took me up here and saved me."
"I didn't save you," the cloaked man said, coming in the room and ignoring Ashley's looks, "because you couldn't have died. I don't know what the Hell Blake thought he was doing with your sword."
"Blake?"
"The boy who stabbed you."
"He looked a lot like Black to me, except about eight years younger, and a different hairdo," Omega said to Ashley, but not taking his eyes off the cloaked man.
"That's because he was Black's little brother," the cloaked man said, "with the power of illusions."
"What the Hell are you talking about? Who are you?"
"How rude of me. I haven't even introduced myself," the man said, taking off the cloak.
His skin was gray, and all he was wearing was a pair of Hylian shorts. His hair was like Brian's, and he had a circular jewel on his forehead. "I don't have a given name, but most call me Angel. I have to talk to you, in private," he added, eyeing Ashley.
"Ashley, could you leave for a second?" Brian said, "I need to talk to this guy. I'll get you when you can come in."
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That's the end of this chapter, so see you next time!