Chapter 14
When the door to Steve's room opened later that day he didn't stir. He was only half-asleep, but somehow unable to rouse himself to a fully conscious state. *Probably just a nurse* he thought, *always in here, prodding and poking and making their notes.*
Some time later, as his eyes began the struggle to open fully, he was suddenly aware of the presence in the room. He had no idea how long the figure had been standing there by the window. Unable to turn his head, he couldn't make out any details, just a shadow lurking there. He didn't have to wait long before it hit him who it was;
"Bet you didn't think you'd be seeing me again?" the voice asked.
Steve closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I wasn't sure" he replied, "not after last time." He waited a short while before asking, "how long have you been here?"
"About twenty minutes"
Steve sighed, trying desperately hard to keep his voice void of any emotion. "What to you want?"
"To talk." The figure moved from the window towards Steve's bed, and bowing over him added, "and to finish what I started the other day."
Steve closed his eyes tightly and shuddered as he felt Cheryl's mouth press firmly to his.
"How are you feeling?" she asked as she pulled away.
"Do you really care" he bit back, regretting his words immediately.
Cheryl let out a small moan, "please don't let's go over this again."
"Fine by me" he snapped.
"He never showed up, three nights on the row and not a sign of him. Masters figured there was no point continuing so you'll be glad to hear I'm no longer being used as bait."
"I'd have preferred it if you'd never used yourself as bait in the first place."
"I know that, but we had to try. We have no other leads so far, this guy has vanished."
Steve lay in silence, tracing the cracks on the ceiling with his eyes for the millionth time. Cheryl took a seat at his side and picked up one of his cold limp hands in her own. Though he couldn't feel it as such, he was aware of what she was doing. If he wanted to maintain his air of indifference he should ask her to let go, but instead he pretended that he hadn't noticed her gesture at all.
"Can you please say something to me?" Cheryl asked angrily, pulling Steve's hand up to her cheek.
"What do you what me to say?"
"Tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling" she pleaded.
"And what good would that do me? I told you the other night what I thought. I thought" he recapped, in the remote chance she had forgotten, "that it was too dangerous for you to use yourself as bait. And it should have been pretty obvious to you how I felt" he began choking back the tears.
"And now?" Cheryl asked softly.
"Now…….now I think….."
"What?" she pleaded.
"I…I….I can't" Steve stuttered.
"Try, please try and tell me"
A hush fell between them. "Close your eyes" he told her in the faintest whisper.
"What?"
"Close your eyes, I can't talk to you about this stuff when you are staring at me." Cheryl lightly shut her eyes and in due time Steve began again. "Now I think I was a fool" he rasped, his throat tightening with emotion. "Now I think you were right, I can't tell you what to do, and it's not fair of me to ask you to change how you live your life because of my fears."
Cheryl pulled Steve's hand from her cheek and lightly kissed the back of his fingers.
"Do you remember the night I got angry at you for bringing the nurse in? When they made me lie down flat like this?" he continued. Cheryl nodded. "I asked dad to come and find you, and I told you it was because I wanted to apologise." He paused, and drew a long deep breath. If he was going to say this he wanted to make sure it came out right, there would be no second chance at telling her for the first time. "There was something else I wanted to tell you that night. I wanted to tell you because I'd had a fright, when I heard about that stabbing on the news." Cheryl again nodded silently as Steve danced around the whole point of the conversation. "I thought that if something bad ever happened to you then you might not know, I might never get the chance to tell you. And that's what I though the other night when you left here for the beach house, that if something were to happen to you, then you would never know, and that we parted on an argument."
Cheryl opened her eyes and gazed longingly at Steve. His brow was furrowed in deep concentration, or was it sorrow? His eyes were lightly closed as though he was sleeping. She smiled. "I know" she whispered.
Steve peeked through half open lids and searched Cheryls deep brown eyes for the incentive he needed to carry on. He grinned lopsidedly. "I never thought it would take this much time or effort to say three words."
"There's no hurry" she cooed.
"But I need to tell you, I need to be sure that you know" he gasped.
Cheryl stood up, still holding his hand. She gently kissed his fingertips before pressing his palm flat against her chest. Though he had lost all sense of touch, Steve was sure he could feel her heart beating. He closed his eyes again and the rhythm of his breathing slowly fell in time with hers.
"Steve" Cheryl whispered, gently laying his arm down by his side.
"Hmm?" he murmured, in blissful security.
"We are two stubborn headed fools you know"
"I know" he smiled, "and bad tempered too."
"And we'd rather make wise cracks and argue than say what we really feel"
"Guilty as charged"
"But we know each other" she said with confidence and ran a hand down his cheek.
Steve looked up at her. "Do that again" he smiled.
"This?" she asked, allowing a single finger to brush a line from the tip of his chin, along his jaw, and across his cheek to his eyelashes. His expression alone answered her question. Time and again she traced the line across his face and Steve grinned at the exquisite feeling her touch left on his skin.
"Cheryl?" he spoke, sounding almost drunk.
"Uh-hu"
"Will you kiss me?"
Electricity soared through her body as he spoke those words so boldly. She had to remind herself quickly that it was up to her to keep careful control of the situation.
"As you asked so nicely" she breathlessly hissed in his ear, "how could I possibly refuse?"
Steve didn't care that the officer sitting outside could probably hear his moans as Cheryl began kissing his ear. He didn't care that a nurse could walk in at any moment as he felt the warm mouth on his neck. He didn't care that he was completely at the mercy of another human being, he was so utterly absorbed in this magnificent feeling. Cheryl continued to kiss Steve's neck and one thumb gently, soothingly, ran over his cheek. She let her mouth creep back up to his ear where she gently tugged at his lobe as Steve breathed sharply. He so desperately wanted her mouth against his but, just as he was unable to move physically, he found it impossible to coherently direct too.
He wasn't forced to wait much longer as Cheryl cupped his face in her hands. "Oh god that's good" he rasped before his mouth became enveloped in her hungry kiss. It soon deepened, and Steve could feel himself tensing, straining to lift his head from the pillow. But it was no use, his neck would not comply and so it was left to Cheryl to choreograph proceedings. When their lips parted briefly, he took the chance to tell her what he needed. "Hold me" he urged. Cheryl slipped one hand under his head and the other awkwardly under his shoulder. He was a dead weight as she lifted him just a fraction from the bed, but it was enough for her to wrap her arms around him and cradle him as they continued to feverishly explore each other's mouths.
Suddenly Steve felt as though the bottom had fallen out of the world as he flopped back down onto the mattress. His eyes shot open, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. The look on Cheryl's face told him there was something seriously wrong. "What?" he gasped. As Cheryl drew her gun he heard the noise in the corridor for the first time.
Steve knew the saying about your life flashing before your eyes when faced with death. But in the following thirty seconds he saw the life he may never have. Images of Cheryl and himself, doing normal everyday things. Eating together, reading the morning papers, watching TV and walking on the beach. A million and one snapshots that were yet to be taken, her smile, her frown, her 'who are you trying to kid?' expression.
He didn't see her step out into the corridor; from here the door was just out of his scope of view. He heard her scream, then grunt. Two people now, a struggle, all happening so quickly but taking an eternity. And then 'Bang!' Steve's heart stopped. 'Bang! Bang!' two more muffled shots fired and the unmistakable sound of a body slumping to the floor. Steve tried to think, but his world had turned black. Footsteps outside, and voices too. And then something to hold onto, his father's voice calling his name.
"Steve! Steve!" But his heart sank again as the old mans voice echoed once more into the room. "Oh Cheryl! My God no!"
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I never thought of death like this,
No hand to hold, no goodnight kiss,
No one to talk with as I eat,
No lingering perfume, smelling sweet.
No one to tell my problems to,
No one to give their point of view,
No one to share my hopes and fears,
To laugh with, cry with, no smiles or tears.
No one watch in peaceful sleep,
Or studied concentration, deep.
No one to hold, or love, or touch,
My world was you, you meant that much,
I never knew what I had to miss
I did not know it would be like this.
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