KILIK
After many grueling battles, Kilik faced Nightmare.
"At last we meet," Nightmare said, his baritone voice rumbling.
"Yes," Kilik replied. "And at last we shall settle things."
Both warriors concentrated, building their power for the confrontation to come; Kilik holding his Kali-Yuga horizontally and Nightmare bowing his head to his vertical Soul Edge. Then, Kilik struck.
"I'm 19 years old! I have the flame of youth!" he said.
"Heh heh heh," Nightmare chuckled, "I, too, am a mere 19 years, but I bear the memories and unparalleled experiences of my sword."
"Well, I am the latest successor in a line of rod wielders that spawns -- I mean, spans -- countless generations," Kilik retorted. "Plus, I'm bare- chested."
Nightmare responded simply by amazingly detaching a latch on his armor plating with his monstrous right hand. The top portion of his armor clattered to the ring floor, leaving his torso bare.
"And I, too," he said simply.
"I...I am tormented by dark spirits, giving me an attractive brooding quality," Kilik said.
"*I* am tormented by spirits *and* a dark past, giving me an attractive element of power and danger," Nightmare answered.
"My weapon is possessed as well and only I can wield it."
"My weapon is not possessed. It *possesses.*"
"I-I have a SCAR!" Kilik said desperately, pointing at his left cheek.
Nightmare simply lifted the visor on his helm for a moment. Even though Nightmare's face was still half-shadowed by the rest of the helm, Kilik could clearly see a long scar over Nightmare's right eye and cheek. The dark knight grinned wickedly and slammed his visor back in place.
While Nightmare was clearly engorged with confidence, Kilik felt limp. He'd thought he could rise to the occasion, but his words and deeds were being rendered utterly impotent at every turn by this huge foe in armor before him.
Master, he thought, thinking of the mysterious teacher who'd trained him the past 3 years. What should I do--? Then Kilik remembered something.
"Kilik," the Edge Master had once said, "the day may come when you cannot resist a foe with pure strength or skill alone. Then you must bend over like the sapling in the wind and withstand his assault. Let him expend himself. Be patient and watch for his mistake. Then pounce!"
Kilik suddenly saw that Nightmare had gone too fast and hard and had made his error. The youth smiled with newfound vigor.
"Hey, guess what? My alternate outfit is totally pimp-style!"
Since he'd already shot his uniform-switch wad, Nightmare was without retort. Kilik pressed his advantage, brandishing his rod.
"Go on, admit it. You're intimidated by the size, ain'tcha?"
Nightmare swung Soul Edge around himself in circles. "Mine is a two-hander! I'm the original sizemaster, boy!"
"Well, I'm the new model (with model looks, I might add). Besides, I heard your original blade was broken."
"I can no longer turn back! My current one-eyed sword is better!"
"I can't see how you'd ever know, with that hideous, ungainly claw of yours. I'm sure you're LOVED for that. Oh wait, don't tell me. You do a lot of solo "kata" action, don't you? Left-handed, of course."
"You know good and well *you're* the kata expert here!"
Kilik didn't miss a beat. "Which only shows how superior my rod technique is to your clumsy thrusting...."
Nearby, Xianghua and Maxi watched the swaggering display with confusion and digust, respectively.
"What's Kilik mean by 'girls love to listen to my throbbing soul?'" Xianghua asked Maxi, who was covering his face with shame.
"If you don't know, you don't WANNA know..."
(Author's Note: As this was one of Soul Calibur's most solidly story-based sub-boss battles, I went for a totally ridiculous angle, inspired by a Patrick Coffman's translation of one of Kilik's win-speeches. In the English version, the line goes "this rod will be your doom" but the original line is apparently something more like "you're intimidated by the size of this rod, right?" Well, there was a quote that begged for some way- out-of-context lampooning. This double-entendre-loaded fic was the rather nasty result. I'm sorry.)
After many grueling battles, Kilik faced Nightmare.
"At last we meet," Nightmare said, his baritone voice rumbling.
"Yes," Kilik replied. "And at last we shall settle things."
Both warriors concentrated, building their power for the confrontation to come; Kilik holding his Kali-Yuga horizontally and Nightmare bowing his head to his vertical Soul Edge. Then, Kilik struck.
"I'm 19 years old! I have the flame of youth!" he said.
"Heh heh heh," Nightmare chuckled, "I, too, am a mere 19 years, but I bear the memories and unparalleled experiences of my sword."
"Well, I am the latest successor in a line of rod wielders that spawns -- I mean, spans -- countless generations," Kilik retorted. "Plus, I'm bare- chested."
Nightmare responded simply by amazingly detaching a latch on his armor plating with his monstrous right hand. The top portion of his armor clattered to the ring floor, leaving his torso bare.
"And I, too," he said simply.
"I...I am tormented by dark spirits, giving me an attractive brooding quality," Kilik said.
"*I* am tormented by spirits *and* a dark past, giving me an attractive element of power and danger," Nightmare answered.
"My weapon is possessed as well and only I can wield it."
"My weapon is not possessed. It *possesses.*"
"I-I have a SCAR!" Kilik said desperately, pointing at his left cheek.
Nightmare simply lifted the visor on his helm for a moment. Even though Nightmare's face was still half-shadowed by the rest of the helm, Kilik could clearly see a long scar over Nightmare's right eye and cheek. The dark knight grinned wickedly and slammed his visor back in place.
While Nightmare was clearly engorged with confidence, Kilik felt limp. He'd thought he could rise to the occasion, but his words and deeds were being rendered utterly impotent at every turn by this huge foe in armor before him.
Master, he thought, thinking of the mysterious teacher who'd trained him the past 3 years. What should I do--? Then Kilik remembered something.
"Kilik," the Edge Master had once said, "the day may come when you cannot resist a foe with pure strength or skill alone. Then you must bend over like the sapling in the wind and withstand his assault. Let him expend himself. Be patient and watch for his mistake. Then pounce!"
Kilik suddenly saw that Nightmare had gone too fast and hard and had made his error. The youth smiled with newfound vigor.
"Hey, guess what? My alternate outfit is totally pimp-style!"
Since he'd already shot his uniform-switch wad, Nightmare was without retort. Kilik pressed his advantage, brandishing his rod.
"Go on, admit it. You're intimidated by the size, ain'tcha?"
Nightmare swung Soul Edge around himself in circles. "Mine is a two-hander! I'm the original sizemaster, boy!"
"Well, I'm the new model (with model looks, I might add). Besides, I heard your original blade was broken."
"I can no longer turn back! My current one-eyed sword is better!"
"I can't see how you'd ever know, with that hideous, ungainly claw of yours. I'm sure you're LOVED for that. Oh wait, don't tell me. You do a lot of solo "kata" action, don't you? Left-handed, of course."
"You know good and well *you're* the kata expert here!"
Kilik didn't miss a beat. "Which only shows how superior my rod technique is to your clumsy thrusting...."
Nearby, Xianghua and Maxi watched the swaggering display with confusion and digust, respectively.
"What's Kilik mean by 'girls love to listen to my throbbing soul?'" Xianghua asked Maxi, who was covering his face with shame.
"If you don't know, you don't WANNA know..."
(Author's Note: As this was one of Soul Calibur's most solidly story-based sub-boss battles, I went for a totally ridiculous angle, inspired by a Patrick Coffman's translation of one of Kilik's win-speeches. In the English version, the line goes "this rod will be your doom" but the original line is apparently something more like "you're intimidated by the size of this rod, right?" Well, there was a quote that begged for some way- out-of-context lampooning. This double-entendre-loaded fic was the rather nasty result. I'm sorry.)