MAXI
Through many grueling battles, at last Maxi faced Astaroth.
Maxi burned with rage as he stared at the towering monster before him. The very sight of Astaroth filled him with utter revulsion and hatred.
"Damn, if looks could kill, even I might be cold meat right now," Astaroth quipped. "What exactly is your beef with me, Max'?"
"Don't take that tone with me, beast!" Maxi spat. "You know your crimes, and now you pay!"
"Yeah, yeah," Astaroth drawled, hoisting his giant axe into a more ready position. "I killed your best friend."
"No! That's not it!" Maxi said. Astaroth was taken aback.
"Oh? Is it that I killed your crew?"
"No."
"Anything to do with my being from Hell?"
"How can you be so DENSE?" Maxi said. "It's your damned wardrobe!"
Astaroth was really shocked now. "My...wardrobe?"
"Yes! Black leather straps and spikes are so...80s hair metal!"
"But I don't even have any hair," Asta protested, stung.
"Whine, whine, whine. No excuses. Fashion that bad is a capital offense on my ship, and you made the mortal error of boarding it."
"Wait a minute?" Asta said desperately. "Let me show you something!"
The giant concentrated, growling. Sparks of sizzling lighting coursed around his rippling muscles. As Maxi backed a few steps in amazement, Astaroth began to transform before his eyes. Maxi saw great bones rise from the huge back. The lightning grew so bright that it seemed that Astaroth's very skin was changing color.
As the lightshow subsided, Maxi saw that to be the case; the giant's skin had turned purple. There were four huge bones jutting from his back. He'd grown a head of hair that stood straight up and tapered to a cone-like point. His spiky leather outfit was replaced by a simple pair of black leather pants.
"Hah!" an exultant Astaroth panted. "How...how you like me now? What?!"
Maxi stood silently for a moment before smiling appreciatively.
"Hah! Ha ha ha ha! I'd never have believed it if hadn't seen with my own eyes! Incredible!"
"Impressed, are you?" Astaroth would've smirked if he could've through his leather face mask.
"Impressed that you could top even *your* bad fashion sense! What the hell is this purple look? Are you planning to date Mystique from "X-Men" or the chick in "Fifth Element?" Those pants! Repeat after me, OK? 'I am not Billy Idol!' And the hair! You finally get some, and you don't know any better than to wear it like a Devo reject or something!
"In my name as 'Dandy of the High Seas,' I cannot stand for this fashion grotesquery! PREPARE YOURSELF!"
"Arrrgh!" Asta screamed in frustration. "Suffer! Scream! DIE!"
(Author's Note: In his previous existence, Astaroth was obviously a member of a death-metal band.)
Through many grueling battles, at last Maxi faced Astaroth.
Maxi burned with rage as he stared at the towering monster before him. The very sight of Astaroth filled him with utter revulsion and hatred.
"Damn, if looks could kill, even I might be cold meat right now," Astaroth quipped. "What exactly is your beef with me, Max'?"
"Don't take that tone with me, beast!" Maxi spat. "You know your crimes, and now you pay!"
"Yeah, yeah," Astaroth drawled, hoisting his giant axe into a more ready position. "I killed your best friend."
"No! That's not it!" Maxi said. Astaroth was taken aback.
"Oh? Is it that I killed your crew?"
"No."
"Anything to do with my being from Hell?"
"How can you be so DENSE?" Maxi said. "It's your damned wardrobe!"
Astaroth was really shocked now. "My...wardrobe?"
"Yes! Black leather straps and spikes are so...80s hair metal!"
"But I don't even have any hair," Asta protested, stung.
"Whine, whine, whine. No excuses. Fashion that bad is a capital offense on my ship, and you made the mortal error of boarding it."
"Wait a minute?" Asta said desperately. "Let me show you something!"
The giant concentrated, growling. Sparks of sizzling lighting coursed around his rippling muscles. As Maxi backed a few steps in amazement, Astaroth began to transform before his eyes. Maxi saw great bones rise from the huge back. The lightning grew so bright that it seemed that Astaroth's very skin was changing color.
As the lightshow subsided, Maxi saw that to be the case; the giant's skin had turned purple. There were four huge bones jutting from his back. He'd grown a head of hair that stood straight up and tapered to a cone-like point. His spiky leather outfit was replaced by a simple pair of black leather pants.
"Hah!" an exultant Astaroth panted. "How...how you like me now? What?!"
Maxi stood silently for a moment before smiling appreciatively.
"Hah! Ha ha ha ha! I'd never have believed it if hadn't seen with my own eyes! Incredible!"
"Impressed, are you?" Astaroth would've smirked if he could've through his leather face mask.
"Impressed that you could top even *your* bad fashion sense! What the hell is this purple look? Are you planning to date Mystique from "X-Men" or the chick in "Fifth Element?" Those pants! Repeat after me, OK? 'I am not Billy Idol!' And the hair! You finally get some, and you don't know any better than to wear it like a Devo reject or something!
"In my name as 'Dandy of the High Seas,' I cannot stand for this fashion grotesquery! PREPARE YOURSELF!"
"Arrrgh!" Asta screamed in frustration. "Suffer! Scream! DIE!"
(Author's Note: In his previous existence, Astaroth was obviously a member of a death-metal band.)