Hey, do you remember when I broke in Larry's house, late at night, and tied his mouth with a rag? Then I dragged him by his ankles to the middle of the forest and stuffed him in a big plastic bag! I f the cops ever find him who knows what they'll say, and I'm sure if old Larry were still with us today, he would have to agree with me, it was a pretty good gag!- I Remember Larry by Weird Al Yankovic
Quote from my friend (she's so cool!!!): Look into the mists of the cheese... look into the mists of the cheese...
Before I start this chapter, I have to say don't you guys wanna read my poem, Ode to Bubbles? I'm serious, it's funny and you'll like it. If you don't I'll eat my hat (well, I'll say I did, but you can't tell whether I really did or not! Mwahahaha!). Once you read it, review it so I know you did, too.
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Chapter 23: Who You Callin' a Powderpuff?
Cole didn't have the pleasure of being knocked out. He fell on something, heard a man shout, "'THE HELL?!!!" And then he felt a hard pain in the back of his head and was knocked out.
Cole woke up to hear several people arguing. The voice that shouted earlier said, "see, now it's awake! We spent to long arguing, just give me the gun and I'll kill it!"
"I've got a better idea," said Cole, "let's not!"
There was silence, then a stern voice said, "don't move!"
"Now you want to aim at the powderpuff," the other voice said sarcastically.
"Will you be quiet?" Said a woman's voice, then, "you can talk, monster?"
"First, I'm not a monster, I do not like being called 'powderpuff'," said Cole, "and I obviously can talk."
"Don't get smart." Said the first man.
"Will you shut up?" The woman said to the man, then to Cole, "If you're not a monster, what are you?"
"I'm one of a race of creatures called Dreamlanders," Cole said, "and we don't appreciate being knocked out and then held at gun-point, or being called 'powderpuff'."
"I've never met a Dreamlander before, so it's nice to meet you," said the woman, "what's your name?"
"Cole, not powderpuff."
"Well, Cole, you can turn around now. And just let the powderpuff thing go, okay?"
He turned around and couldn't believe who he saw. He caught himself before he said it out loud, but he recognized Vincent, Cid, and Yuffie.
"Where am I?" Cole asked them.
"On my ship, the Highwind," Cid said.
"Okay, how'd I get here?"
"Cid was on the outside deck and you took a dive on him from we don't know how high." Yuffie said.
There was a loud rumbling noise, and while everyone else was wondering what it was, Cole said, "I guess it goes without saying that I'm hungry. Dreamlanders get very, very hungry."
"We cannot leave until the other three, Cloud, Tifa, and Red XIII, get back, and we're not in a place where we can get food." Vincent said, emotionless.
'Other three?' thought Cole, "what about Cait Sith (Author's Note: In case you didn't know, it's pronounced "Ket Shee") and Barrett?" he accidentally said out loud.
"You know about them, do you?" said Cid, glaring at him suspiciously, "I don't know how you know about them, but they're both dead."
Cole shut up. He didn't want to leak any more information, but what did he mean dead?
"So where are we?" Cole asked.
"In the middle of the Midgar Desert." Yuffie said, "We thought we saw someone on this side of the world that we had to pick up."
"This side of the world?" Asked Cole, "I'm not from around here, what are you talking about?"
"There was an accident with a device called the Mako Cannon, designed to destroy a being called Sephiroth, where a cloaked man appeared and shot it when Sephiroth was dead. The fallout and the cannon's explosion afterwards killed half the world." Vincent said with a hint of sadness in his voice.
'Holy crap!' Cole thought. 'This world's messed up just like the other ones, except this one sounds like the worst of all.' "I'm tired," he said, "could you give me some time to sleep?"
They all agreed to this and left. "Well," Cole said, "they've done a good job of turning the chocobo stable into a bed made of hay." He said, touching the hay. "I wonder who they saw down there, on a dead half of a planet in the middle of the desert?"
Cole fell asleep. He woke up at night, when the Highwind started to move. "Wha the-" Cole said groggily.
He ran up to the cockpit to see what was going on, because he wasn't tired anymore. He stopped when he was walking in because he heard a new voice say, "well, if you found someone and already put him in the other room, where'll I put her?"
"He's really small," he heard Cid say, "they'll both fit in there."
"How small is he?" The new voice asked.
"Well, he's about up to my knees." He heard Yuffie say.
"Is he a child?" The new voice asked.
"No. He's not human," Cole heard Vincent say, "he said he was a creature called a Dreamlander, and that his name was Cole."
Then he heard moans and the new voice said, "she's waking up, I better put her down."
Silence, then, a familiar voice said, "where am I?"
"Out of the desert," said Cid, "and on my ship. He's Vincent, I'm Cid, she's Yuffie, and he's Cloud."
"Nice to meet all of you, I'm-"
"Ashley?!!!" Cole said, running into the cockpit.
"Cole?" said Ashley, turning to see him.
"Is this the one you found?" Cloud said to Vincent, who nodded.
"Well, it figures you both know each other, because you both look freaky." Yuffie said matter-of-factly.
"Yuffie..." Cloud quietly said.
"What?" said Yuffie, not getting the hint, turning to Cloud, and said loudly, "look at 'em! That girl's dressed weird and her ears are funny, and he's a pink powderpuff!"
"I...AM...NOT...A...POWDERPUFF!!!" Cole said angrily, puffing up like a balloon (You know, like when Kirby flies).
"Okay, calm down," Cloud said, "Yuffie's a real idiot sometimes."
"Cloud, I heard shouting, what's going on?" Someone Cole recognized as Tifa asked as she came in, then, upon seeing Cole, "oh, did you get this from the Gold Saucer? It's so cute!" She said, grabbing Cole and hugging him, squeezing him hard.
"Um, Tifa," Cloud said.
"Yes?" She said, looking at them.
They waited about three seconds, then Cole started kicking and waving his arms everywhere, with Tifa staring at him wide-eyed.
"Um, could you please let go of my friend?" Ashley said, quietly.
Tifa dropped him. Cole stayed on the ground, gasping for breath, puffing in and out like a balloon (Author's Note: If you watch Kirby in his games, you'll notice when he flies, that's what he's doing, is taking a deep breath and waving his arms so he'll float) . "Oh, man, that was scary," Cole said, still slightly panting.
"It... it talks?" Tifa said, staring at Cole.
Cole turned around. "Yes, it does. It's name is Cole, and it does not like being spoken about like it's not here! And it does not like being called it, either! Or powderpuff." He added, aiming an angry look at Yuffie.
"Cole, calm down," said Ashley, "you've got to remember they've never seen Dreamlanders or Hylians before."
"You're right," said Cole, then he turned to Cid and said, "now can we get out of here? I'm still hungry."
Ashley walked up to Cloud and whispered in his ear, "do you know what an all-you-can-eat buffet is?"
"Of course I do," Cloud said, "why?"
"You're going to want to find one if you want to feed him."
"Why?"
"You don't know how much a Dreamlander eats. I do."
"They... eat a lot, then?"
"Yes." Said Ashley, "as a matter of fact, when monsters invade their land, if they get the monsters weak enough, they eat the monsters."
"He can fight monsters?"
"Yeah. I know Dreamlanders don't look like much, but there is power in that small, pink body." Ashley said, walking back into the center of the room.
Then Ashley turned on everyone and said, "have you found anyone else?"
They all said no. "Dammit!!!" Ashley shouted.
"Geez," said Cloud, "what's wrong?"
"I was hoping you found my boyfriend." Ashley said sadly, "you'd know him if you see him."
"Does he look as weird as you?" Yuffie asked, then when no one was looking, Tifa lightly punched her in the side.
"No. More weird," Ashley said, "his skin is white,"
"So's ours," interrupted Yuffie.
"No, literally snow white." Said Ashley, "all his body is white, except for the jewel on his forehead. And he has a large broadsword strapped to his back."
"he sounds tougher than the powderpuff," Yuffie said loudly, "why couldn't he have fallen onto Cid?"
Cole was on the edge with Yuffie. He always loved Kirby games and hated it when people called Dreamlanders powderpuffs, and now that he was one... "That's it, lady!" he shouted, "don't call me powderpuff again if you don't want to die!"
"What are you going to do about it, powderpuff, cute me to death?" Yuffie asked, not noticing that everyone else was backing away from her and Cole.
"No," said Cole, "this!" in a flash of light, he had the sword cap and the yellowish sword in his hands, because he decided it would be the most impressive looking.
"Yuffie, just back off," said Tifa, glaring at her angrily.
"Fine," Yuffie said, "I'm going over in my usual spot, where I'll be getting sick because we're about to take off." She then walked out of the room.
"Okay," said Cloud, "now that that's over, I'd like you two to meet my wife, Tifa. Tifa, thiis is Cole, and you've already met Ashley."
Both Cole and Ashley thought, 'wife?'
Tifa looked down at Cole, "um, I'm sorry about before, Cole."
"Don't worry about it," Cole said, changing back to normal (un-weaponed), "you didn't know, and I do look like a stuffed toy. The only one that bugs me is that Yuffie. If she calls me powderpuff one more time, I swear..."
"I'll try to talk to her," said Cloud, "until we get to our villa, you might want to rest or do something to pass the time."
One of the figures was watching. She said, "like, what do those idiots think they're doing? I'll, like, contact the other two ones who like the good side more and we will so totally use our powers to help."
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I had so much fun writing this chapter. Especially the "hugging" part.
Okay, if you check back to chapter 21, you'll see I changed Draco's skin color to silver, I did that because I have a Dungeons & Dragon monster manual and found out all red dragons are evil, so I picked the silver one because his appearance wouldn't change much. Also, I remembered where I, Billy-Bob Burmstrang, the hillbilly dragon, really come from. You'll find out.
Quote from my friend (she's so cool!!!): Look into the mists of the cheese... look into the mists of the cheese...
Before I start this chapter, I have to say don't you guys wanna read my poem, Ode to Bubbles? I'm serious, it's funny and you'll like it. If you don't I'll eat my hat (well, I'll say I did, but you can't tell whether I really did or not! Mwahahaha!). Once you read it, review it so I know you did, too.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 23: Who You Callin' a Powderpuff?
Cole didn't have the pleasure of being knocked out. He fell on something, heard a man shout, "'THE HELL?!!!" And then he felt a hard pain in the back of his head and was knocked out.
Cole woke up to hear several people arguing. The voice that shouted earlier said, "see, now it's awake! We spent to long arguing, just give me the gun and I'll kill it!"
"I've got a better idea," said Cole, "let's not!"
There was silence, then a stern voice said, "don't move!"
"Now you want to aim at the powderpuff," the other voice said sarcastically.
"Will you be quiet?" Said a woman's voice, then, "you can talk, monster?"
"First, I'm not a monster, I do not like being called 'powderpuff'," said Cole, "and I obviously can talk."
"Don't get smart." Said the first man.
"Will you shut up?" The woman said to the man, then to Cole, "If you're not a monster, what are you?"
"I'm one of a race of creatures called Dreamlanders," Cole said, "and we don't appreciate being knocked out and then held at gun-point, or being called 'powderpuff'."
"I've never met a Dreamlander before, so it's nice to meet you," said the woman, "what's your name?"
"Cole, not powderpuff."
"Well, Cole, you can turn around now. And just let the powderpuff thing go, okay?"
He turned around and couldn't believe who he saw. He caught himself before he said it out loud, but he recognized Vincent, Cid, and Yuffie.
"Where am I?" Cole asked them.
"On my ship, the Highwind," Cid said.
"Okay, how'd I get here?"
"Cid was on the outside deck and you took a dive on him from we don't know how high." Yuffie said.
There was a loud rumbling noise, and while everyone else was wondering what it was, Cole said, "I guess it goes without saying that I'm hungry. Dreamlanders get very, very hungry."
"We cannot leave until the other three, Cloud, Tifa, and Red XIII, get back, and we're not in a place where we can get food." Vincent said, emotionless.
'Other three?' thought Cole, "what about Cait Sith (Author's Note: In case you didn't know, it's pronounced "Ket Shee") and Barrett?" he accidentally said out loud.
"You know about them, do you?" said Cid, glaring at him suspiciously, "I don't know how you know about them, but they're both dead."
Cole shut up. He didn't want to leak any more information, but what did he mean dead?
"So where are we?" Cole asked.
"In the middle of the Midgar Desert." Yuffie said, "We thought we saw someone on this side of the world that we had to pick up."
"This side of the world?" Asked Cole, "I'm not from around here, what are you talking about?"
"There was an accident with a device called the Mako Cannon, designed to destroy a being called Sephiroth, where a cloaked man appeared and shot it when Sephiroth was dead. The fallout and the cannon's explosion afterwards killed half the world." Vincent said with a hint of sadness in his voice.
'Holy crap!' Cole thought. 'This world's messed up just like the other ones, except this one sounds like the worst of all.' "I'm tired," he said, "could you give me some time to sleep?"
They all agreed to this and left. "Well," Cole said, "they've done a good job of turning the chocobo stable into a bed made of hay." He said, touching the hay. "I wonder who they saw down there, on a dead half of a planet in the middle of the desert?"
Cole fell asleep. He woke up at night, when the Highwind started to move. "Wha the-" Cole said groggily.
He ran up to the cockpit to see what was going on, because he wasn't tired anymore. He stopped when he was walking in because he heard a new voice say, "well, if you found someone and already put him in the other room, where'll I put her?"
"He's really small," he heard Cid say, "they'll both fit in there."
"How small is he?" The new voice asked.
"Well, he's about up to my knees." He heard Yuffie say.
"Is he a child?" The new voice asked.
"No. He's not human," Cole heard Vincent say, "he said he was a creature called a Dreamlander, and that his name was Cole."
Then he heard moans and the new voice said, "she's waking up, I better put her down."
Silence, then, a familiar voice said, "where am I?"
"Out of the desert," said Cid, "and on my ship. He's Vincent, I'm Cid, she's Yuffie, and he's Cloud."
"Nice to meet all of you, I'm-"
"Ashley?!!!" Cole said, running into the cockpit.
"Cole?" said Ashley, turning to see him.
"Is this the one you found?" Cloud said to Vincent, who nodded.
"Well, it figures you both know each other, because you both look freaky." Yuffie said matter-of-factly.
"Yuffie..." Cloud quietly said.
"What?" said Yuffie, not getting the hint, turning to Cloud, and said loudly, "look at 'em! That girl's dressed weird and her ears are funny, and he's a pink powderpuff!"
"I...AM...NOT...A...POWDERPUFF!!!" Cole said angrily, puffing up like a balloon (You know, like when Kirby flies).
"Okay, calm down," Cloud said, "Yuffie's a real idiot sometimes."
"Cloud, I heard shouting, what's going on?" Someone Cole recognized as Tifa asked as she came in, then, upon seeing Cole, "oh, did you get this from the Gold Saucer? It's so cute!" She said, grabbing Cole and hugging him, squeezing him hard.
"Um, Tifa," Cloud said.
"Yes?" She said, looking at them.
They waited about three seconds, then Cole started kicking and waving his arms everywhere, with Tifa staring at him wide-eyed.
"Um, could you please let go of my friend?" Ashley said, quietly.
Tifa dropped him. Cole stayed on the ground, gasping for breath, puffing in and out like a balloon (Author's Note: If you watch Kirby in his games, you'll notice when he flies, that's what he's doing, is taking a deep breath and waving his arms so he'll float) . "Oh, man, that was scary," Cole said, still slightly panting.
"It... it talks?" Tifa said, staring at Cole.
Cole turned around. "Yes, it does. It's name is Cole, and it does not like being spoken about like it's not here! And it does not like being called it, either! Or powderpuff." He added, aiming an angry look at Yuffie.
"Cole, calm down," said Ashley, "you've got to remember they've never seen Dreamlanders or Hylians before."
"You're right," said Cole, then he turned to Cid and said, "now can we get out of here? I'm still hungry."
Ashley walked up to Cloud and whispered in his ear, "do you know what an all-you-can-eat buffet is?"
"Of course I do," Cloud said, "why?"
"You're going to want to find one if you want to feed him."
"Why?"
"You don't know how much a Dreamlander eats. I do."
"They... eat a lot, then?"
"Yes." Said Ashley, "as a matter of fact, when monsters invade their land, if they get the monsters weak enough, they eat the monsters."
"He can fight monsters?"
"Yeah. I know Dreamlanders don't look like much, but there is power in that small, pink body." Ashley said, walking back into the center of the room.
Then Ashley turned on everyone and said, "have you found anyone else?"
They all said no. "Dammit!!!" Ashley shouted.
"Geez," said Cloud, "what's wrong?"
"I was hoping you found my boyfriend." Ashley said sadly, "you'd know him if you see him."
"Does he look as weird as you?" Yuffie asked, then when no one was looking, Tifa lightly punched her in the side.
"No. More weird," Ashley said, "his skin is white,"
"So's ours," interrupted Yuffie.
"No, literally snow white." Said Ashley, "all his body is white, except for the jewel on his forehead. And he has a large broadsword strapped to his back."
"he sounds tougher than the powderpuff," Yuffie said loudly, "why couldn't he have fallen onto Cid?"
Cole was on the edge with Yuffie. He always loved Kirby games and hated it when people called Dreamlanders powderpuffs, and now that he was one... "That's it, lady!" he shouted, "don't call me powderpuff again if you don't want to die!"
"What are you going to do about it, powderpuff, cute me to death?" Yuffie asked, not noticing that everyone else was backing away from her and Cole.
"No," said Cole, "this!" in a flash of light, he had the sword cap and the yellowish sword in his hands, because he decided it would be the most impressive looking.
"Yuffie, just back off," said Tifa, glaring at her angrily.
"Fine," Yuffie said, "I'm going over in my usual spot, where I'll be getting sick because we're about to take off." She then walked out of the room.
"Okay," said Cloud, "now that that's over, I'd like you two to meet my wife, Tifa. Tifa, thiis is Cole, and you've already met Ashley."
Both Cole and Ashley thought, 'wife?'
Tifa looked down at Cole, "um, I'm sorry about before, Cole."
"Don't worry about it," Cole said, changing back to normal (un-weaponed), "you didn't know, and I do look like a stuffed toy. The only one that bugs me is that Yuffie. If she calls me powderpuff one more time, I swear..."
"I'll try to talk to her," said Cloud, "until we get to our villa, you might want to rest or do something to pass the time."
One of the figures was watching. She said, "like, what do those idiots think they're doing? I'll, like, contact the other two ones who like the good side more and we will so totally use our powers to help."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had so much fun writing this chapter. Especially the "hugging" part.
Okay, if you check back to chapter 21, you'll see I changed Draco's skin color to silver, I did that because I have a Dungeons & Dragon monster manual and found out all red dragons are evil, so I picked the silver one because his appearance wouldn't change much. Also, I remembered where I, Billy-Bob Burmstrang, the hillbilly dragon, really come from. You'll find out.