Reviving Faith
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters, they belong to their respective owner. However, Carmen, her parents, and James belong to me. Thank you.
Part 2: (Of Candy)
(Okay, here's Part 2! At the suggestion of a reviewer, there will be a conflict between Maureen and Carmen. This story is meant to introduce Carmen a little more. You will also meet James, but he'll be better explained in Part 3. Please note that I am not Jewish, but I did try my best to describe the holiday. If you have any complaints or comments specific to the holiday parts of this story, place a review, but no flames please! I hope that this offends no one!)
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The alarm clock blared in Carmen's ears and she absent minded ley flung a pillow in it's direction. It missed and the loud ringing continued. She buried her face in the mattress sheets in a common, movie-like fashion, "Stupid clock."
A light knocking on the wall next to her bed made her sit up, "Yes?"
"Carmen, please turn that clock off." Called a young man's voice, complete with a heavy Scottish accent.
"You weren't sleeping, why does it bother you?"
"Dear, please, it's annoying."
"Okay James, you win." Carmen said, exasperatingly, and flung out her hand for the clock. After a few seconds, she pressed down on the button and the ringing came to an abrupt end.
"Thank you." Called James.
Carmen had to smile, "You're welcome Jimmy." She hauled herself out of bed and pulled on a rather tattered robe. The floor was like ice under her bare feet and she scampered to the nearest rug.
"Brr." She whispered, and pulled the robe's belt tighter around her waist. Glancing around the room, she tried to judge the distance from her space to the bathroom and how cold she'd get while moving.
"Carmen, you are such a sissy!" She whispered to herself, and laughing at her own joke, ran to the bathroom. With shaking hands, she turned the shower hands on full and waited. The man she'd met last night suddenly became the object of her thoughts.
'Mark Cohen,' Carmen smiled at her mental recollection of his name, 'He seems like a decent guy.'
Everything appeared to simply have come together last night. Coming out of nowhere, fixing her camera, and asking her to go with his circle of friends on Christmas day for some food. As odd as it all was, it was all right in a way. Just right.
*****************************************
Mark Cohen pulled on his socks, completing his wardrobe for the morning. He saw no sense to putting on shoes until he left. One of Mark's many quirks. He did, however, pull on another pair or socks, just to stop the cold from reaching his feet. A knock on the door made him look up. Roger stood there, in mid-yawn, with his hand on the door. The expression on Roger's face made Mark almost break out laughing. His best friend was not the most composed person when he yawned.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the musician spoke, "Collins is here. He thought he'd stop by early before everyone goes to the Life Cafe."
"Is that all?"
"No, Mimi told him about Carmen and he wants to hear what happened."
The filmmaker rolled his eyes, why was it that every little detail in his life got brought out in public. Hell, he'd taken more heat than Maureen had when she'd left him. Cindy, his sister, had almost seemed to be accusing him of making Maureen a lesbian.
"Alright, tell Collins that I'll be there in a second."
"Sure." Roger left Mark to his thoughts.
Stretching, Mark stood and began to walk toward the door. The next thing he knew, he fell forward onto the floor. Groaning in pain, he rolled onto his back to get a look at what had tripped him. The corner of a brown cardboard box stuck out from under the bed. Instead of just moving when he had hit it, it was pressed against the metal bar, causing him to fall over it.
For a minute, he couldn't recollect what was in it. Out of sheer curiosity, he sat up and pulled open the flaps. Realization and shame came to his eyes when he gazed down on the contents of the box. Sighing, he pushed the container back under the bed and got up off the floor. Brushing the dirt off of his knees, he made his way out into the main room.
**************************************************
Carmen stared up at the clock, it was now 5:00pm in the afternoon. The entire day almost, she had wasted. Instead of working on a project and getting a jump on the other employees, she'd sat there. As the appointed time drew nearer and nearer, she became more and more nervous. Her anxiety level sprung up a notch every time that second hand ticked. For about the last hour though, she'd been having an argument with herself.
'Carmen, c'mon, lighten up! You're simply going out with some people.'
'Yeah, some people you've never met before.' Said this little voice in her head. Carmen wasn't crazy, but her conscience sometimes took on a life of it's own during a mental conversation.
'I know, I know! I have to start living sometime though. What am I gonna do?'
'More important is what he does.'
'I won't die alone! I want to have a boyfriend. The last time I had a boyfriend was in 7th grade.'
'It's been that long? My, how time flies. Listen Carmen, you've been hurt before, don't set yourself up for more pain.'
'The incident that you are speaking of wasn't in my control.'
'Yes, that is true, but remember what men will do. The only man a girl can trust is her father, and even that isn't always true these days.'
Carmen leaned her head against the arm of the couch. She was scaring herself again, over a stupid incident in her past. In the long ago past too, mind you.
****************************************************
Mark, Collins, Mimi, and Roger stood outside the apartment building where Carmen lived, staring up at the many levels of darkened windows.
"Okay, now how do we find out which one she's in?" Roger asked, his eyes scanning the structure for any hint of life.
"I don't know. I didn't get an exact number." Mark shrugged sheepishly, placing his hands in his coat pockets.
Collins sighed, "This oughta be a helluva lotta fun then."
The group laughed despite the freezing cold. Anything to keep from becoming Bohemian blocks of ice on the sidewalk. Mimi looked at the men around her, and, making up her mind, strode inside the building. The guys followed, each contemplating ideas on how to discover one person out of many. Once inside, Mimi rapped on the first door to her left in the same manner that she'd knocked on Roger's door that one night. An elderly woman answered the door and smiled at her.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah." Mimi smiled her most sincere smile. A smile that a little girl would give to one of her mother's friends. "Do you know what apartment Carmen Keller lives in?"
The old woman smiled, "Well, I know the girl. She's such a sweetheart. I believe that she's on the second floor, but I'm not sure what number she is. There is a man in number B20 who could probably tell you. He knows everyone in this building."
"Okay, thanks ma'am." Mimi replied, and waved good-bye as the door closed. She turned to the 3 men with her, "Well, c'mon guys! On to apartment B20!"
Roger grinned, "Race ya!"
All of them ran up the nearest stairs, with Mimi in the lead. Roger followed close behind her. Laughter filled the stairwell as the company literally fell onto the second floor. With a quick grab, the musician had seized his girlfriend's foot and had pulled her back to him. The ex - dancer proved her agility by releasing herself from his grasp and beating them all upstairs.
"You win." Whispered Roger, pulling her close.
She smiled, "Don't I always?"
He nodded and it earned him a nice kiss. Collins and Mark rolled their eyes and looked for apartment B20. As it turned out, it was at the end of the hallway, like Collins had thought it would be. Mark got to knock on the door this time, and a young man answered.
"Hello." The voice was tinted with a Scottish sound to it.
"Uh, hi. Listen, I'm looking for a girl named Carmen Keller. This old lady downstairs said that you might know which apartment she's in."
"Oh. Well, the lass is right next door here, apartment B18. Are you some of her friends?"
"Yes, we're coming to get her for a dinner party."
"That's nice, well, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do. Have a nice day now." The others moved to head back one apartment, but Collins lingered a bit. He smiled at the man, and the Scottish sounding man smiled back at him. Then, out of who knows what, nervousness, probably, the man in B20 closed the door, pretending to have a cough. A short laugh was gained at this and Collins ran to the others.
"Well, ain'tcha gonna knock?" Asked an impatient Mimi, rubbing her cold hands together.
Mark looked shocked and he pushed up his glasses, "Yeah. I will."
He extended his hand in the shape of a fist, and gave three medium level knocks. For about 2 seconds, nothing happened, and the worry that Carmen might be playing him for a fool came into Mark's head. His prayers were answered, however, when the soft voice of the fellow filmmaker called, "Just a minute!"
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Inside, Carmen was rushing around, attempting to get everything she needed to leave. She had her coat and was trying desperately to apply some last minute makeup. Carmen never really had used a lot of makeup before, but it was a small gathering of new people. What had that statistic said? 'It takes 10 seconds to make a first impression, and 20 minutes to change it?' She wasn't sure if that was it, but it sounded right. When the last piece of cosmetic assistance was applied, and a quick one over was taken in the mirror, she hurried to the door.
"Hi." She gave a sweet smile to the group outside her apartment. Mark just stood there, he looked at her and she stared back. Suddenly, a small tap on his shoulder, broke Mark's trance like state. Collins gestured for his filmmaker friend to introduce him to Carmen.
"Carmen, this is Tom Collins." He motioned toward his friend who stepped forward to shake her hand.
"Most people just call me Collins."
"It's nice to meet you. That only leaves two people now."
"Hmm?" Asked Collins, knowing slightly what she meant.
"There was two other people that Mark mentioned. Joanne and Maureen, I believe."
Mark gulped slightly, he really didn't want to introduced Carmen to the lesbian lovers of the group. Every girl he ever liked seem to turn out to be a lesbian. In some small way, he was already picturing Carmen, Maureen, and Joanne in an odd love triangle. Maureen would easily dominate Carmen, the girl's sweet nature would give in without a fight. Somehow, he managed to push these thoughts out of his head and gave a smile,
"Yeah, they'll be at the cafe."
"Alright then gang, let's get going." Mimi said, suddenly giddy with holiday cheer. The holidays were better for her nowadays, mainly because she didn't do drugs anymore and she had Roger. With high spirits the now group of 5 people, set out for the short trip to the cafe.
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Maureen sat in a chair at the largest table in the life cafe. One of her legs was propped up on the edge of the chair and it supported her arm on that side. A sitting position that stated the words, 'I am so damn bored and sick of waiting.' Joanne sat next to her, but her manner was a bit more, refined, than her lover's. The waiter came over to the table.
"Do you guys wants to order something while you wait?"
Joanne looked at Maureen, who was staring into space, and decided to answer, "No, we'll wait for the rest of our group to get here."
"Speaking of which, do you know when they'll be here?" The waiter was also sick of waiting.
Maureen came to life and to the attack, "What? You got so much business that you're dying for this table? They'll get here when they get here!"
The shocked waiter put up both hands in defense and back away.
'Must be that time of the month again.' Thought Joanne.
Once the waiter was out of hearing range, Maureen leaned close to her lover, "Where in the fuck are they?"
The other woman shrugged, "I don't know! All Mark said was that they were stopping to pick up a friend. Some girl named Carmen."
"His sister?"
"No, that's Cindy. Supposedly, Mark helped this new girl with her broken camera and now they're friends. She was alone and he invited her to dinner."
Maureen was quiet for a few minutes, and then looked rather upset, "If this girl gets in my way..."
"What way? You aren't dating Mark."
"I know, but he's my lapdog and she better not - "
Joanne cut her off, "Use him like you use him?"
Maureen became silent again, she considered Mark to be hers. She may not be dating him, but the last thing she wanted was for someone else to come before his frequent trips to help her with her broken down equipment. Fortunately, she didn't have time to dwell on this as the group suddenly showed up at the cafe.
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The door closed behind them and the biting cold was suddenly gone as the group of 5 entered the best of all the hangouts - the Life Cafe. Roger was the first to spy Joanne, who was waving at them, and they proceeded toward the table. The lawyer was the first to greet and hug everyone, Maureen, in her present mood, had to be coaxed into any warm embraces. Mark gave her a small hug, and then presented Carmen,
"Maureen, this is Carmen Keller."
Maureen had a smile that looked friendly, but Carmen saw hate in her ice cold eyes. Still, she managed to smile herself and shook Maureen's hand.
"It's nice to meet you." Came the actresses voice, one of bitterness doused in the syrupy sweet desire to hide her true nature. Mark saw through it, he knew what kind of person his ex-girlfriend was.
"Look, Carmen, let's sit over here." He motioned for her to sit next to him. Mark may be goofy, but he wasn't stupid. With Collins on one side of her and himself on the other, they made it impossible for Maureen to be near the new guest. Joanne sat right across from Carmen and she nudged Maureen lightly,
"She's kinda cute, I think." Whispered Joanne.
Maureen sharply elbowed her lover in the ribs. Things weren't going bad enough, and now this.
Joanne whispered back to her, "She looks a little like you."
"Mark probably likes that certain type of girl." Shrugged the actress, unimpressed, then, a mean thought entered her head, "Joanne, what was that term that we heard Mark's sister use when she said she didn't like me?"
After thinking a moment, the other answered, "It was shiksa or something like that."
"What's it mean?"
"I think it's a derogatory term. It's a girl who is dating or married to a Jewish man, but she's not Jewish herself."
"You think that Carmen girl is Jewish?"
"Not really, she doesn't look it."
Maureen began to think, there were two sides to this insult, but she was going to use it anyway.
********************************************
As dinner progressed, everyone asked Carmen questions about herself. Every person eventually formed their own opinion about her, and they were all good ones. Carmen was sweet and shy. She didn't brag or boast and she wasn't very flashy. Pretty much the only female in the group who exhibited those traits. Eventually, as Maureen had hoped, the topic turned to religion.
"So, Mark, is your mom gonna be happy that you're dating a shiksa?"
Everything stopped. Surprisingly enough, they all knew what the term meant, and were shocked that a non Jewish person like Maureen would use it. Carmen just sat there, her eyes held more hurt in them than anger. Mark, however, was furious. Yes, it was true that he was not dating Carmen, but Maureen had angered him with her choice of words.
"For your information, Carmen is half Jewish, and since you are not a Jew, you can't even use that term anyway!" Yelled Mark
.
Suddenly, Joanne spoke up, "Wait, Carmen, which one of your parents was Jewish?"
"My mother was."
"Then you're Jewish. Whatever the religion the mother is, becomes the religion of the child. If had been your father that was Jewish and your mother that was Christian, then you would be a Christian."
Maureen gave a small snort, "Well, she may not be a shiksa, but she's still a half-breed!"
Carmen looked up and addressed everyone at the table, "I may be half-bred, but I am not going to participate in any kind of mudslinging battle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
With that, she stood up, pulled on her coat, and left the cafe. Everyone sat there for a moment, saying nothing.
Finally, Mark stood up, "Half-breed? What the hell was that all about? It's religion, and I don't even think you can use that term for religion! Maureen, I hope you're real proud of yourself."
Mark left the restaurant. Maureen whacked Joanne on the shoulder, "You're supposed to back me up!"
Mimi intervened, "I'm glad she helped Carmen. You've been staring daggers at her all evening and going loco whenever Mark paid attention to her."
"Yeah, besides, the way you talked just proved that you were looking for anything to hurt her." Roger noted, "Hey, and wouldn't you have also been a shiksa when you dated Mark?"
Maureen hadn't thought about that, and in the minds of the others, she hadn't been thinking all day. Still, despite the recent events, they all decided to stay and finish their meals.
*****************************************************
Mark ran outside, and into the quickly falling night. Snow had begun to fall again, blocking visibility. Still, he could make out a form moving slowly up the sidewalk.
"Carmen!" He yelled.
The form stopped and waited as he ran towards it. When he reached her, the combination of the cold air and the run had shortened his breath.
"Hi Mark." She said, not looking directly at him.
"Listen, Carmen, I want to apologize for Maureen. She's my ex-girlfriend, and I should've told you that before you met her."
"I thought she was a lesbian."
"She is, she left me for another woman."
"Ouch. Mark, I'm not holding anything against you because of her. I still like you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, do you wanna come celebrate Hanukkah with me? It's the one I'm celebrating this year."
"I'd love too."
"Do you have your worship items? I have the Menorah and all the prayers written down. You need a Yarmulke."
He thought for a second, "I have one. I took all my stuff with me when I left home. It's just been so long since I celebrated, without the family around I lost faith in it."
She laughed that soft laugh that he'd begun to love. Suddenly, he felt her fingers entwine with his and give his hand a soft squeeze. All the coldness in his body seemed to melt away and he smiled at her. They began to walk back to his apartment.
****************************************
About 5 minutes later, the door to Mark, Roger, and Mimi's apartment swung open and the couple walked inside. Mark headed right for his bedroom and he got down on his knees beside the bed. Taking a deep breath, he reached under the bed and pulled out the box that he'd tripped over earlier. She knelt down beside him and peered into the box.
"Is this all your old worship stuff?"
"Yeah." He whispered, pulling out the yarmulke. He held it in the palm of his right hand and slowly rubbed the cloth material with the fingers on his left hand.
Carmen smiled, "It's pretty, when did you get that?"
"My parents bought it for me before I moved out. I wore it about 5 times before I kinda had to give up religion to support myself."
"I know the feeling. Hey, c'mon, let's go to my place and light the candles."
"Sure." He pushed the box back under his bed and they left. Once over at Carmen's place, she hung up his coat and went to get some matches. He looked around the apartment, and decided that it was nice. It was an apartment designed for two people, which made him wonder if she had a roommate as well. Carmen laughed at the question.
"No, I like to live alone. The guy next door, James, runs the place, well, kinda runs it for the guy who owns it. James and I are friends and he lets me rent this place for the price of a one person apartment."
Mark thought a moment, "Is he the guy with a Scottish accent?"
"Uh huh."
"We met him. When we came over here he told us where your apartment was."
"Yeah, he's a nice guy. His parents live in the states, but his sister and her family are still over in Scotland. He's the guy that I pose for. You know, the paintings?"
"Yes, you told me about that." For a minute, he was quiet, then, he asked cautiously, "You don't have any interest in him, do you?"
"Jimmy? Good heavens, no! Besides, he's not interested in girls."
Mark took her hint and said no more about the Scottish neighbor. She handed him the matches, "Will you light the candle, please?"
"Yeah." He lite the ninth candle, the Shammash, and lit the appropriate amount of other candles with the ninth candle. A piece of paper was slipped into his hand, and he looked down at it. "Are you sure you want me to read the prayers? It's your house."
"I want you to. It always reminds me of when I was a child when someone else reads them."
He complied, and began to read:
"Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech
ha - olam, asher kideshanu b'mitzvotav
vitzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Chanukah."
"Want to read the prayer 'Giving Thanks for Miracles'?" Carmen asked, when Mark had completed the 'Blessing for the Candles' prayer.
"Sure," Mark smiled and turned over the page to get the appropriate words:
"Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech
ha - olam, she - asah nissim lavotanu
ba - yamim hahem bazman hazer"
He glanced over at Carmen, her eyes were shut, enjoying the sound of his voice. On an impulse, he stroked her cheek and the soft brown eyes opened. With a smile, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object. Mark laughed when he saw it.
"A dreidel?"
"Yeah, do you wanna play?"
"Believe it or not, I really do."
They sat down on the couch, and put the small, clay top on the table top. Carmen actually had Hanukkah gelt, it had been a gift from her mother by mail. It took about five minutes for Mark to be defeated by Carmen, but he won the second round. They put the game away and she got up and got both of them some tea. As the tea flavor mixed with the boiling water, they began to talk.
"So, where'd you grow up?"
"Scars dale. It was, sorta boring, but it had it's high points."
"Sounds like fun. I grew up in New York."
"Hmm, hey, listen, I want to ask you a question. It's something that not knowing the answer to has gotten me in trouble before."
"Go ahead."
"How many boyfriends have you had and do any of them live near here?"
She laughed out loud, "Oh my! Well, the last time I went on a date was in 7th grade so you don't have to worry."
Mark was shocked, "7th grade?! Why haven't you dated since then?"
Silence fell and she looked away, "It's kinda painful to talk about."
"Were you hurt in some way?"
"Yes, I was walking home from the school the day I broke up with my boyfriend. I was a little upset, so I wasn't paying attention. All I can remember is this guy pulling me into an alley. He tried to rape me, but a policeman caught him and I only got a few scratches."
Mark drew in his breath sharply and looked at her. She was staring at the wall, he eyes filled with tears, "Geez Carmen, I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's okay, it's been about 10 years now. I probably should get over it." She wiped away her tears.
A strange feeling came over Mark, he didn't know what to say to comfort her, but her body language seemed to be pleading with him for help. He laid his hand softly on her cheek and slowly moved her head so that her eyes met his. She looked pretty when she cried, one of those rare girls. Mark didn't wait for her approval and he moved in to kiss her. He pressed his lips softly on hers and she met him appreciatively. This seemed so right to Carmen, she needed to be kissed. His hands cupped her face and the softly falling tears wet his hands slightly. Every second of this moment they were treasuring, not wanting it to end. He was being careful, not wanting to push her to far after all she'd been through.
Finally, they broke apart to regain their breath. Carmen felt the immense heat in her lips and she savored it, "That was incredible." She whispered.
"Yeah." He said, running his fingers through her short brown hair. They moved in to kiss again, but a knock on the door stopped everything. She jumped up and opened the door to Collins.
"Hey Carmen, listen, is Mark here?"
"Yeah." Called Mark, coming up from behind her.
"Mark, man, they're doing gifts at your apartment and Roger and Mimi want you there."
"I don't know if I can..." He started.
"It's okay if you want to go, I've got to go to sleep anyway. Works starts up tomorrow." Carmen said, laying a hand on his arm.
He smiled at her, "Collins, would you give us a minute?"
Collins laughed and stepped away from the door.
"Come back tomorrow for prayers again." Whispered Carmen and she and Mark kissed again.
"I will." He turned to leave, but at the last second, turned around, "Carmen, will you be my girlfriend?"
"You know it." She gave a giggle of delight.
"I love you Carmen."
"I love you too, Mark." She whispered, and blew a kiss to him as he walked out the door. Once alone, Carmen smiled to herself and thought of what had happened that night, "Well Carmen," She said to herself, "There's nothing like reviving faith."
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters, they belong to their respective owner. However, Carmen, her parents, and James belong to me. Thank you.
Part 2: (Of Candy)
(Okay, here's Part 2! At the suggestion of a reviewer, there will be a conflict between Maureen and Carmen. This story is meant to introduce Carmen a little more. You will also meet James, but he'll be better explained in Part 3. Please note that I am not Jewish, but I did try my best to describe the holiday. If you have any complaints or comments specific to the holiday parts of this story, place a review, but no flames please! I hope that this offends no one!)
***********************************
The alarm clock blared in Carmen's ears and she absent minded ley flung a pillow in it's direction. It missed and the loud ringing continued. She buried her face in the mattress sheets in a common, movie-like fashion, "Stupid clock."
A light knocking on the wall next to her bed made her sit up, "Yes?"
"Carmen, please turn that clock off." Called a young man's voice, complete with a heavy Scottish accent.
"You weren't sleeping, why does it bother you?"
"Dear, please, it's annoying."
"Okay James, you win." Carmen said, exasperatingly, and flung out her hand for the clock. After a few seconds, she pressed down on the button and the ringing came to an abrupt end.
"Thank you." Called James.
Carmen had to smile, "You're welcome Jimmy." She hauled herself out of bed and pulled on a rather tattered robe. The floor was like ice under her bare feet and she scampered to the nearest rug.
"Brr." She whispered, and pulled the robe's belt tighter around her waist. Glancing around the room, she tried to judge the distance from her space to the bathroom and how cold she'd get while moving.
"Carmen, you are such a sissy!" She whispered to herself, and laughing at her own joke, ran to the bathroom. With shaking hands, she turned the shower hands on full and waited. The man she'd met last night suddenly became the object of her thoughts.
'Mark Cohen,' Carmen smiled at her mental recollection of his name, 'He seems like a decent guy.'
Everything appeared to simply have come together last night. Coming out of nowhere, fixing her camera, and asking her to go with his circle of friends on Christmas day for some food. As odd as it all was, it was all right in a way. Just right.
*****************************************
Mark Cohen pulled on his socks, completing his wardrobe for the morning. He saw no sense to putting on shoes until he left. One of Mark's many quirks. He did, however, pull on another pair or socks, just to stop the cold from reaching his feet. A knock on the door made him look up. Roger stood there, in mid-yawn, with his hand on the door. The expression on Roger's face made Mark almost break out laughing. His best friend was not the most composed person when he yawned.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the musician spoke, "Collins is here. He thought he'd stop by early before everyone goes to the Life Cafe."
"Is that all?"
"No, Mimi told him about Carmen and he wants to hear what happened."
The filmmaker rolled his eyes, why was it that every little detail in his life got brought out in public. Hell, he'd taken more heat than Maureen had when she'd left him. Cindy, his sister, had almost seemed to be accusing him of making Maureen a lesbian.
"Alright, tell Collins that I'll be there in a second."
"Sure." Roger left Mark to his thoughts.
Stretching, Mark stood and began to walk toward the door. The next thing he knew, he fell forward onto the floor. Groaning in pain, he rolled onto his back to get a look at what had tripped him. The corner of a brown cardboard box stuck out from under the bed. Instead of just moving when he had hit it, it was pressed against the metal bar, causing him to fall over it.
For a minute, he couldn't recollect what was in it. Out of sheer curiosity, he sat up and pulled open the flaps. Realization and shame came to his eyes when he gazed down on the contents of the box. Sighing, he pushed the container back under the bed and got up off the floor. Brushing the dirt off of his knees, he made his way out into the main room.
**************************************************
Carmen stared up at the clock, it was now 5:00pm in the afternoon. The entire day almost, she had wasted. Instead of working on a project and getting a jump on the other employees, she'd sat there. As the appointed time drew nearer and nearer, she became more and more nervous. Her anxiety level sprung up a notch every time that second hand ticked. For about the last hour though, she'd been having an argument with herself.
'Carmen, c'mon, lighten up! You're simply going out with some people.'
'Yeah, some people you've never met before.' Said this little voice in her head. Carmen wasn't crazy, but her conscience sometimes took on a life of it's own during a mental conversation.
'I know, I know! I have to start living sometime though. What am I gonna do?'
'More important is what he does.'
'I won't die alone! I want to have a boyfriend. The last time I had a boyfriend was in 7th grade.'
'It's been that long? My, how time flies. Listen Carmen, you've been hurt before, don't set yourself up for more pain.'
'The incident that you are speaking of wasn't in my control.'
'Yes, that is true, but remember what men will do. The only man a girl can trust is her father, and even that isn't always true these days.'
Carmen leaned her head against the arm of the couch. She was scaring herself again, over a stupid incident in her past. In the long ago past too, mind you.
****************************************************
Mark, Collins, Mimi, and Roger stood outside the apartment building where Carmen lived, staring up at the many levels of darkened windows.
"Okay, now how do we find out which one she's in?" Roger asked, his eyes scanning the structure for any hint of life.
"I don't know. I didn't get an exact number." Mark shrugged sheepishly, placing his hands in his coat pockets.
Collins sighed, "This oughta be a helluva lotta fun then."
The group laughed despite the freezing cold. Anything to keep from becoming Bohemian blocks of ice on the sidewalk. Mimi looked at the men around her, and, making up her mind, strode inside the building. The guys followed, each contemplating ideas on how to discover one person out of many. Once inside, Mimi rapped on the first door to her left in the same manner that she'd knocked on Roger's door that one night. An elderly woman answered the door and smiled at her.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah." Mimi smiled her most sincere smile. A smile that a little girl would give to one of her mother's friends. "Do you know what apartment Carmen Keller lives in?"
The old woman smiled, "Well, I know the girl. She's such a sweetheart. I believe that she's on the second floor, but I'm not sure what number she is. There is a man in number B20 who could probably tell you. He knows everyone in this building."
"Okay, thanks ma'am." Mimi replied, and waved good-bye as the door closed. She turned to the 3 men with her, "Well, c'mon guys! On to apartment B20!"
Roger grinned, "Race ya!"
All of them ran up the nearest stairs, with Mimi in the lead. Roger followed close behind her. Laughter filled the stairwell as the company literally fell onto the second floor. With a quick grab, the musician had seized his girlfriend's foot and had pulled her back to him. The ex - dancer proved her agility by releasing herself from his grasp and beating them all upstairs.
"You win." Whispered Roger, pulling her close.
She smiled, "Don't I always?"
He nodded and it earned him a nice kiss. Collins and Mark rolled their eyes and looked for apartment B20. As it turned out, it was at the end of the hallway, like Collins had thought it would be. Mark got to knock on the door this time, and a young man answered.
"Hello." The voice was tinted with a Scottish sound to it.
"Uh, hi. Listen, I'm looking for a girl named Carmen Keller. This old lady downstairs said that you might know which apartment she's in."
"Oh. Well, the lass is right next door here, apartment B18. Are you some of her friends?"
"Yes, we're coming to get her for a dinner party."
"That's nice, well, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do. Have a nice day now." The others moved to head back one apartment, but Collins lingered a bit. He smiled at the man, and the Scottish sounding man smiled back at him. Then, out of who knows what, nervousness, probably, the man in B20 closed the door, pretending to have a cough. A short laugh was gained at this and Collins ran to the others.
"Well, ain'tcha gonna knock?" Asked an impatient Mimi, rubbing her cold hands together.
Mark looked shocked and he pushed up his glasses, "Yeah. I will."
He extended his hand in the shape of a fist, and gave three medium level knocks. For about 2 seconds, nothing happened, and the worry that Carmen might be playing him for a fool came into Mark's head. His prayers were answered, however, when the soft voice of the fellow filmmaker called, "Just a minute!"
*******************************************
Inside, Carmen was rushing around, attempting to get everything she needed to leave. She had her coat and was trying desperately to apply some last minute makeup. Carmen never really had used a lot of makeup before, but it was a small gathering of new people. What had that statistic said? 'It takes 10 seconds to make a first impression, and 20 minutes to change it?' She wasn't sure if that was it, but it sounded right. When the last piece of cosmetic assistance was applied, and a quick one over was taken in the mirror, she hurried to the door.
"Hi." She gave a sweet smile to the group outside her apartment. Mark just stood there, he looked at her and she stared back. Suddenly, a small tap on his shoulder, broke Mark's trance like state. Collins gestured for his filmmaker friend to introduce him to Carmen.
"Carmen, this is Tom Collins." He motioned toward his friend who stepped forward to shake her hand.
"Most people just call me Collins."
"It's nice to meet you. That only leaves two people now."
"Hmm?" Asked Collins, knowing slightly what she meant.
"There was two other people that Mark mentioned. Joanne and Maureen, I believe."
Mark gulped slightly, he really didn't want to introduced Carmen to the lesbian lovers of the group. Every girl he ever liked seem to turn out to be a lesbian. In some small way, he was already picturing Carmen, Maureen, and Joanne in an odd love triangle. Maureen would easily dominate Carmen, the girl's sweet nature would give in without a fight. Somehow, he managed to push these thoughts out of his head and gave a smile,
"Yeah, they'll be at the cafe."
"Alright then gang, let's get going." Mimi said, suddenly giddy with holiday cheer. The holidays were better for her nowadays, mainly because she didn't do drugs anymore and she had Roger. With high spirits the now group of 5 people, set out for the short trip to the cafe.
***********************************************
Maureen sat in a chair at the largest table in the life cafe. One of her legs was propped up on the edge of the chair and it supported her arm on that side. A sitting position that stated the words, 'I am so damn bored and sick of waiting.' Joanne sat next to her, but her manner was a bit more, refined, than her lover's. The waiter came over to the table.
"Do you guys wants to order something while you wait?"
Joanne looked at Maureen, who was staring into space, and decided to answer, "No, we'll wait for the rest of our group to get here."
"Speaking of which, do you know when they'll be here?" The waiter was also sick of waiting.
Maureen came to life and to the attack, "What? You got so much business that you're dying for this table? They'll get here when they get here!"
The shocked waiter put up both hands in defense and back away.
'Must be that time of the month again.' Thought Joanne.
Once the waiter was out of hearing range, Maureen leaned close to her lover, "Where in the fuck are they?"
The other woman shrugged, "I don't know! All Mark said was that they were stopping to pick up a friend. Some girl named Carmen."
"His sister?"
"No, that's Cindy. Supposedly, Mark helped this new girl with her broken camera and now they're friends. She was alone and he invited her to dinner."
Maureen was quiet for a few minutes, and then looked rather upset, "If this girl gets in my way..."
"What way? You aren't dating Mark."
"I know, but he's my lapdog and she better not - "
Joanne cut her off, "Use him like you use him?"
Maureen became silent again, she considered Mark to be hers. She may not be dating him, but the last thing she wanted was for someone else to come before his frequent trips to help her with her broken down equipment. Fortunately, she didn't have time to dwell on this as the group suddenly showed up at the cafe.
*********************************************
The door closed behind them and the biting cold was suddenly gone as the group of 5 entered the best of all the hangouts - the Life Cafe. Roger was the first to spy Joanne, who was waving at them, and they proceeded toward the table. The lawyer was the first to greet and hug everyone, Maureen, in her present mood, had to be coaxed into any warm embraces. Mark gave her a small hug, and then presented Carmen,
"Maureen, this is Carmen Keller."
Maureen had a smile that looked friendly, but Carmen saw hate in her ice cold eyes. Still, she managed to smile herself and shook Maureen's hand.
"It's nice to meet you." Came the actresses voice, one of bitterness doused in the syrupy sweet desire to hide her true nature. Mark saw through it, he knew what kind of person his ex-girlfriend was.
"Look, Carmen, let's sit over here." He motioned for her to sit next to him. Mark may be goofy, but he wasn't stupid. With Collins on one side of her and himself on the other, they made it impossible for Maureen to be near the new guest. Joanne sat right across from Carmen and she nudged Maureen lightly,
"She's kinda cute, I think." Whispered Joanne.
Maureen sharply elbowed her lover in the ribs. Things weren't going bad enough, and now this.
Joanne whispered back to her, "She looks a little like you."
"Mark probably likes that certain type of girl." Shrugged the actress, unimpressed, then, a mean thought entered her head, "Joanne, what was that term that we heard Mark's sister use when she said she didn't like me?"
After thinking a moment, the other answered, "It was shiksa or something like that."
"What's it mean?"
"I think it's a derogatory term. It's a girl who is dating or married to a Jewish man, but she's not Jewish herself."
"You think that Carmen girl is Jewish?"
"Not really, she doesn't look it."
Maureen began to think, there were two sides to this insult, but she was going to use it anyway.
********************************************
As dinner progressed, everyone asked Carmen questions about herself. Every person eventually formed their own opinion about her, and they were all good ones. Carmen was sweet and shy. She didn't brag or boast and she wasn't very flashy. Pretty much the only female in the group who exhibited those traits. Eventually, as Maureen had hoped, the topic turned to religion.
"So, Mark, is your mom gonna be happy that you're dating a shiksa?"
Everything stopped. Surprisingly enough, they all knew what the term meant, and were shocked that a non Jewish person like Maureen would use it. Carmen just sat there, her eyes held more hurt in them than anger. Mark, however, was furious. Yes, it was true that he was not dating Carmen, but Maureen had angered him with her choice of words.
"For your information, Carmen is half Jewish, and since you are not a Jew, you can't even use that term anyway!" Yelled Mark
.
Suddenly, Joanne spoke up, "Wait, Carmen, which one of your parents was Jewish?"
"My mother was."
"Then you're Jewish. Whatever the religion the mother is, becomes the religion of the child. If had been your father that was Jewish and your mother that was Christian, then you would be a Christian."
Maureen gave a small snort, "Well, she may not be a shiksa, but she's still a half-breed!"
Carmen looked up and addressed everyone at the table, "I may be half-bred, but I am not going to participate in any kind of mudslinging battle. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."
With that, she stood up, pulled on her coat, and left the cafe. Everyone sat there for a moment, saying nothing.
Finally, Mark stood up, "Half-breed? What the hell was that all about? It's religion, and I don't even think you can use that term for religion! Maureen, I hope you're real proud of yourself."
Mark left the restaurant. Maureen whacked Joanne on the shoulder, "You're supposed to back me up!"
Mimi intervened, "I'm glad she helped Carmen. You've been staring daggers at her all evening and going loco whenever Mark paid attention to her."
"Yeah, besides, the way you talked just proved that you were looking for anything to hurt her." Roger noted, "Hey, and wouldn't you have also been a shiksa when you dated Mark?"
Maureen hadn't thought about that, and in the minds of the others, she hadn't been thinking all day. Still, despite the recent events, they all decided to stay and finish their meals.
*****************************************************
Mark ran outside, and into the quickly falling night. Snow had begun to fall again, blocking visibility. Still, he could make out a form moving slowly up the sidewalk.
"Carmen!" He yelled.
The form stopped and waited as he ran towards it. When he reached her, the combination of the cold air and the run had shortened his breath.
"Hi Mark." She said, not looking directly at him.
"Listen, Carmen, I want to apologize for Maureen. She's my ex-girlfriend, and I should've told you that before you met her."
"I thought she was a lesbian."
"She is, she left me for another woman."
"Ouch. Mark, I'm not holding anything against you because of her. I still like you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, do you wanna come celebrate Hanukkah with me? It's the one I'm celebrating this year."
"I'd love too."
"Do you have your worship items? I have the Menorah and all the prayers written down. You need a Yarmulke."
He thought for a second, "I have one. I took all my stuff with me when I left home. It's just been so long since I celebrated, without the family around I lost faith in it."
She laughed that soft laugh that he'd begun to love. Suddenly, he felt her fingers entwine with his and give his hand a soft squeeze. All the coldness in his body seemed to melt away and he smiled at her. They began to walk back to his apartment.
****************************************
About 5 minutes later, the door to Mark, Roger, and Mimi's apartment swung open and the couple walked inside. Mark headed right for his bedroom and he got down on his knees beside the bed. Taking a deep breath, he reached under the bed and pulled out the box that he'd tripped over earlier. She knelt down beside him and peered into the box.
"Is this all your old worship stuff?"
"Yeah." He whispered, pulling out the yarmulke. He held it in the palm of his right hand and slowly rubbed the cloth material with the fingers on his left hand.
Carmen smiled, "It's pretty, when did you get that?"
"My parents bought it for me before I moved out. I wore it about 5 times before I kinda had to give up religion to support myself."
"I know the feeling. Hey, c'mon, let's go to my place and light the candles."
"Sure." He pushed the box back under his bed and they left. Once over at Carmen's place, she hung up his coat and went to get some matches. He looked around the apartment, and decided that it was nice. It was an apartment designed for two people, which made him wonder if she had a roommate as well. Carmen laughed at the question.
"No, I like to live alone. The guy next door, James, runs the place, well, kinda runs it for the guy who owns it. James and I are friends and he lets me rent this place for the price of a one person apartment."
Mark thought a moment, "Is he the guy with a Scottish accent?"
"Uh huh."
"We met him. When we came over here he told us where your apartment was."
"Yeah, he's a nice guy. His parents live in the states, but his sister and her family are still over in Scotland. He's the guy that I pose for. You know, the paintings?"
"Yes, you told me about that." For a minute, he was quiet, then, he asked cautiously, "You don't have any interest in him, do you?"
"Jimmy? Good heavens, no! Besides, he's not interested in girls."
Mark took her hint and said no more about the Scottish neighbor. She handed him the matches, "Will you light the candle, please?"
"Yeah." He lite the ninth candle, the Shammash, and lit the appropriate amount of other candles with the ninth candle. A piece of paper was slipped into his hand, and he looked down at it. "Are you sure you want me to read the prayers? It's your house."
"I want you to. It always reminds me of when I was a child when someone else reads them."
He complied, and began to read:
"Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech
ha - olam, asher kideshanu b'mitzvotav
vitzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Chanukah."
"Want to read the prayer 'Giving Thanks for Miracles'?" Carmen asked, when Mark had completed the 'Blessing for the Candles' prayer.
"Sure," Mark smiled and turned over the page to get the appropriate words:
"Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech
ha - olam, she - asah nissim lavotanu
ba - yamim hahem bazman hazer"
He glanced over at Carmen, her eyes were shut, enjoying the sound of his voice. On an impulse, he stroked her cheek and the soft brown eyes opened. With a smile, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small object. Mark laughed when he saw it.
"A dreidel?"
"Yeah, do you wanna play?"
"Believe it or not, I really do."
They sat down on the couch, and put the small, clay top on the table top. Carmen actually had Hanukkah gelt, it had been a gift from her mother by mail. It took about five minutes for Mark to be defeated by Carmen, but he won the second round. They put the game away and she got up and got both of them some tea. As the tea flavor mixed with the boiling water, they began to talk.
"So, where'd you grow up?"
"Scars dale. It was, sorta boring, but it had it's high points."
"Sounds like fun. I grew up in New York."
"Hmm, hey, listen, I want to ask you a question. It's something that not knowing the answer to has gotten me in trouble before."
"Go ahead."
"How many boyfriends have you had and do any of them live near here?"
She laughed out loud, "Oh my! Well, the last time I went on a date was in 7th grade so you don't have to worry."
Mark was shocked, "7th grade?! Why haven't you dated since then?"
Silence fell and she looked away, "It's kinda painful to talk about."
"Were you hurt in some way?"
"Yes, I was walking home from the school the day I broke up with my boyfriend. I was a little upset, so I wasn't paying attention. All I can remember is this guy pulling me into an alley. He tried to rape me, but a policeman caught him and I only got a few scratches."
Mark drew in his breath sharply and looked at her. She was staring at the wall, he eyes filled with tears, "Geez Carmen, I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought it up."
"It's okay, it's been about 10 years now. I probably should get over it." She wiped away her tears.
A strange feeling came over Mark, he didn't know what to say to comfort her, but her body language seemed to be pleading with him for help. He laid his hand softly on her cheek and slowly moved her head so that her eyes met his. She looked pretty when she cried, one of those rare girls. Mark didn't wait for her approval and he moved in to kiss her. He pressed his lips softly on hers and she met him appreciatively. This seemed so right to Carmen, she needed to be kissed. His hands cupped her face and the softly falling tears wet his hands slightly. Every second of this moment they were treasuring, not wanting it to end. He was being careful, not wanting to push her to far after all she'd been through.
Finally, they broke apart to regain their breath. Carmen felt the immense heat in her lips and she savored it, "That was incredible." She whispered.
"Yeah." He said, running his fingers through her short brown hair. They moved in to kiss again, but a knock on the door stopped everything. She jumped up and opened the door to Collins.
"Hey Carmen, listen, is Mark here?"
"Yeah." Called Mark, coming up from behind her.
"Mark, man, they're doing gifts at your apartment and Roger and Mimi want you there."
"I don't know if I can..." He started.
"It's okay if you want to go, I've got to go to sleep anyway. Works starts up tomorrow." Carmen said, laying a hand on his arm.
He smiled at her, "Collins, would you give us a minute?"
Collins laughed and stepped away from the door.
"Come back tomorrow for prayers again." Whispered Carmen and she and Mark kissed again.
"I will." He turned to leave, but at the last second, turned around, "Carmen, will you be my girlfriend?"
"You know it." She gave a giggle of delight.
"I love you Carmen."
"I love you too, Mark." She whispered, and blew a kiss to him as he walked out the door. Once alone, Carmen smiled to herself and thought of what had happened that night, "Well Carmen," She said to herself, "There's nothing like reviving faith."