IVY, the next chapter
After many grueling battles, Ivy at last faced the end of her unholy quest -- the port of the Adrian and the lair of the resurrected pirate Cervantes.
Cervantes regarded the tall woman curiously. Something was strange about her, and it wasn't just her outlandish mode of dress. And Cervantes felt a strange emotion himself. He couldn't place it, but something about the woman seemed...familiar. And yet he was certain he'd never seen her before.
At last Ivy stopped about ten paces away from the undead pirate. Her emotions swirled beneath her icily calm exterior. Cervantes seemed just as grand, powerful and mad as his reputation had suggested. And she began to understand herself better.
[I used to wonder why I was so different from Father,] she thought, remembering her beloved Count Valentine, the man who'd raised her. [Now I at last see why.]
Suddenly Ivy felt a wave of peaceful exultation, like none she'd known since before Count Valentine had fallen into madness. So many questions rose in her mind, but all dissolved with the unexpected joy at finding her true heritage at last. Part of her wanted to drop her sword and embrace Cervantes.
"My goodness," Cervantes said abruptly. "You are one fine piece of wench."
Ivy did drop her sword now. "W-what?" she said softly.
"I said, 'you're hot,' in so many words!" Cervantes said, running his eyes hungrily up and down Ivy's body. "I haven't been this turned on in almost 30 years. Come with me to my captain's quarters so I can swab that poopdeck."
Ivy's jaw dropped in open shock. "Y-you...can't be serious. You--" She was interrupted by the pirate's rough hand flashing out to grip her upper arm tightly and drawing her closer.
"C'mon, my beauty, don't make a sailor wait no longer after a long voyage in the afterworld -- "
"But-- you can't just --"
"Oh, of course, silly me," Cervantes said, chuckling. With his free hand, he pulled out a small purse that jingled with the sound of gold. "How much?"
Ivy was completely bewildered now. "What?"
"Are ye deaf, woman? How much will it be?"
With a frenzied strength, Ivy wrenched her arm free and staggered back a few paces. Her normally pale cheeks (both sets) flushed pink with enraged embarrassment.
"You--YOU--" she sputtered, "I'M YOUR DAUGHTER, YOU FILTH!"
Cervantes froze with shock. "No," he said, almost whining. "No, that's not true. That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings," Ivy said. "and you'll see it's true!"
Cervantes had a flash of sudden recognition. So that was it; but for the silver hair, this woman looked exactly like that tavern dancer he'd fallen so hard for almost 30 years ago. And now, he sensed the aura of Soul Edge about this woman. It was in her very blood, a bit of which had been drawn when she'd pulled from his grasp. Yes, incredible as it seemed, his flesh- and-blood stood before him now, all in a huff because he'd mistaken her for a common whore.
"Um, I, I didn't know, you..." the pirate began. "I guess we have a lot of catching up to do. Heh heh heh," he said, scratching his head underneath his captain's hat.
"Oh, indeed we do," Ivy spat, all her warm and fuzzy feelings snuffed out by Cervantes' libido. "Like about where you've been for the past 28 years of my life."
"Uh?" Cervantes grunted.
"Look at me! I obviously have issues based on abandonment."
"I wouldn't say that--"
"Don't try to minimize my pain! This is all your fault!"
"Don't take that tone with me, young lady!"
"You're not my daddy! You're just a sperm donor! I hate you!"
"Girl, I brought you in this world and I'll take you right out of it, too!"
As they assumed fighting stances, Ivy ruefully thought, [Some reunion this turned out to be...]
(Author's note: This would be funnier if I'd done it as a "Springer" episode:
JERRY: So as a marauding, possessed pirate, I guess you did some rape and pillage, Mr. De Leon?
CERVANTES: More pillage than rape. Ain't no mon-nay in chasin' hon-nay, knowhutimsayin'? Child support and [boooop]. Naw, [boooop] dat.
JERRY: Well, speaking of that, we have a surprise for you. You have an adult daughter, Ivy, backstage. C'mon out, Ivy!
(Ivy storms out in full 1P costuming)
AUDIENCE: Woooooooooooot!
CERVANTES: I ain't got no [booooooooooop] daughter!
IVY: Yeah, [Booooooooop]! You do too got one, [booooooop]! (lunges for Cervantes, is restrained by bouncer)
CERVANTES: B***h, WHAT? I'll [boooop] you the [booop] up! (stands up, restrained by bouncer)
AUDIENCE: JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!
… buuuuut, I think it's better that I didn't.)
After many grueling battles, Ivy at last faced the end of her unholy quest -- the port of the Adrian and the lair of the resurrected pirate Cervantes.
Cervantes regarded the tall woman curiously. Something was strange about her, and it wasn't just her outlandish mode of dress. And Cervantes felt a strange emotion himself. He couldn't place it, but something about the woman seemed...familiar. And yet he was certain he'd never seen her before.
At last Ivy stopped about ten paces away from the undead pirate. Her emotions swirled beneath her icily calm exterior. Cervantes seemed just as grand, powerful and mad as his reputation had suggested. And she began to understand herself better.
[I used to wonder why I was so different from Father,] she thought, remembering her beloved Count Valentine, the man who'd raised her. [Now I at last see why.]
Suddenly Ivy felt a wave of peaceful exultation, like none she'd known since before Count Valentine had fallen into madness. So many questions rose in her mind, but all dissolved with the unexpected joy at finding her true heritage at last. Part of her wanted to drop her sword and embrace Cervantes.
"My goodness," Cervantes said abruptly. "You are one fine piece of wench."
Ivy did drop her sword now. "W-what?" she said softly.
"I said, 'you're hot,' in so many words!" Cervantes said, running his eyes hungrily up and down Ivy's body. "I haven't been this turned on in almost 30 years. Come with me to my captain's quarters so I can swab that poopdeck."
Ivy's jaw dropped in open shock. "Y-you...can't be serious. You--" She was interrupted by the pirate's rough hand flashing out to grip her upper arm tightly and drawing her closer.
"C'mon, my beauty, don't make a sailor wait no longer after a long voyage in the afterworld -- "
"But-- you can't just --"
"Oh, of course, silly me," Cervantes said, chuckling. With his free hand, he pulled out a small purse that jingled with the sound of gold. "How much?"
Ivy was completely bewildered now. "What?"
"Are ye deaf, woman? How much will it be?"
With a frenzied strength, Ivy wrenched her arm free and staggered back a few paces. Her normally pale cheeks (both sets) flushed pink with enraged embarrassment.
"You--YOU--" she sputtered, "I'M YOUR DAUGHTER, YOU FILTH!"
Cervantes froze with shock. "No," he said, almost whining. "No, that's not true. That's impossible!"
"Search your feelings," Ivy said. "and you'll see it's true!"
Cervantes had a flash of sudden recognition. So that was it; but for the silver hair, this woman looked exactly like that tavern dancer he'd fallen so hard for almost 30 years ago. And now, he sensed the aura of Soul Edge about this woman. It was in her very blood, a bit of which had been drawn when she'd pulled from his grasp. Yes, incredible as it seemed, his flesh- and-blood stood before him now, all in a huff because he'd mistaken her for a common whore.
"Um, I, I didn't know, you..." the pirate began. "I guess we have a lot of catching up to do. Heh heh heh," he said, scratching his head underneath his captain's hat.
"Oh, indeed we do," Ivy spat, all her warm and fuzzy feelings snuffed out by Cervantes' libido. "Like about where you've been for the past 28 years of my life."
"Uh?" Cervantes grunted.
"Look at me! I obviously have issues based on abandonment."
"I wouldn't say that--"
"Don't try to minimize my pain! This is all your fault!"
"Don't take that tone with me, young lady!"
"You're not my daddy! You're just a sperm donor! I hate you!"
"Girl, I brought you in this world and I'll take you right out of it, too!"
As they assumed fighting stances, Ivy ruefully thought, [Some reunion this turned out to be...]
(Author's note: This would be funnier if I'd done it as a "Springer" episode:
JERRY: So as a marauding, possessed pirate, I guess you did some rape and pillage, Mr. De Leon?
CERVANTES: More pillage than rape. Ain't no mon-nay in chasin' hon-nay, knowhutimsayin'? Child support and [boooop]. Naw, [boooop] dat.
JERRY: Well, speaking of that, we have a surprise for you. You have an adult daughter, Ivy, backstage. C'mon out, Ivy!
(Ivy storms out in full 1P costuming)
AUDIENCE: Woooooooooooot!
CERVANTES: I ain't got no [booooooooooop] daughter!
IVY: Yeah, [Booooooooop]! You do too got one, [booooooop]! (lunges for Cervantes, is restrained by bouncer)
CERVANTES: B***h, WHAT? I'll [boooop] you the [booop] up! (stands up, restrained by bouncer)
AUDIENCE: JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!
… buuuuut, I think it's better that I didn't.)