I didn't want to hurt him and this was one of the only ways I could have.
Clark is indestructible physically but inside his feelings are so fragile.
His fear of being abandoned, of never being or even knowing who he really
is leaves him easy to break. I know it frightens him, like lightening
frightens me. I love him truly. I want to be close to him always but not
in the way I want Lex. Clark needs to know I'll never leave him, never
betray him, and never lie to him.
He looked miserable. Clark was sitting on a leather chair staring off into space; I wondered what he was listening to. Miles away a bird could be singing and Clark could be listening to its song but I think he was just lost in thought.
"Hey Clark." I whispered. His face lit up but then fell as if remembering he betrayed his two best friends. I knew he was blaming himself; it's what Clark did.
"Clark you are not beating yourself over this." I knelt in front of him; all but ignoring that Lex was in the room. Clark mattered now. "You kissed me, I kissed back. Don't lay blame on something that there is no blame for."
He looked at me then over my shoulder at Lex. Looking for approval, forgiveness, he had no need to ask but was any way. Clark thought he was in love with me, I was more real then Lana, I had his trust, and he did love me. He just couldn't be in love with me.
"I'm sorry Dori." He sighed a slight smile.
"There is no need to apologize Clark."
"Still…"
"I know."
Lex made a small cough, He smiled at Clark invited him for dinner. Everything would be forgiven and forgotten. That was friendship, that was trust, someday I hoped Clark would trust Lex, let him in but it wasn't my place to interfere with that. I needed to talk to Lex alone make sure he was all right. I never thought Lex would be the jealous type but then I never thought he would be gentle either. Not from the stories from Julie.
*****
Amy had left for good. Her parents had finally cracked down on her. They had a basic intervention and she was now in a rehab center. Julie was her replacement. Not as good a friend. She simple liked me because I listened to her stories. This story was about a certain bald man I almost got a chance to meet. Crazy, wild, a biter, rich and bald from head to toe. It freaked her out a bit but to Julie a lay was a lay.
The club was outrageous that night, the music seemed louder, movements more frantic but it could have just been what ever I was on that night. I caught a glimpse of Mr. Bald grinding next to Paul. I saw a glimpse and then he disappeared in the crowd. Julie ran up to me a short time later and told me about him. The more and more I heard about him the more I thought I would love to met him. The next few times I saw him he was wearing a hat. Hard to recognize in a crowd but still there almost every night, leaving with a different person, sometimes more then one, and sometimes but not often alone. He was in my memory, the foggy, hazy, drug and drink filled memory. But now I had new memories, of his complements, of his eyes following me across the room, of his hand on the small or my back and his lips against mine.
I didn't want it to end.
*******************************
And it wasn't going to. After Clark was sent home I stayed behind telling Clark I had to speak to Lex. He left knowingly, running home after telling Lex he needed to walk and think even in cold weather. Lex would drive me, Clark would explain to the Kent's in as little detail as possible.
Lex and I sat down and I asked him if he was really all right.
"Not really the jealous type Dori." Very unconvinced.
"Lex," I touched his shoulder making him turn towards me. Instead of talking I kissed him. Showing instead of telling that I wanted to be here with him. I felt his body respond against mine and he gently pushed me back, fingers entwined in my hair, body pressing to mine.
He moved to my neck placing small kisses and licks, my arms were wrapped around him feeling his make through his soft shirt. I started to untuck it wanting to feel the heat of his skin. I ran my fingertips down his sides and he nipped my neck. Julie was right about that. I kissed his lips once more, not wanting it to end knowing I should go home.
"I need to go home Lex."
He sighed burying his head in my shoulder. "One day I will beat the Kent curfew."
"But not today." I smiled. I felt more then saw his smile. He got up helping me up.
"Next weekend, you. Me. Metropolis no curfew."
I knew exactly what that meant. I smiled knowingly. "Alone with you, in Metropolis, How will I ever convince the parents?"
"I'm a great negotiator."
"I'm sure you are." I smiled into him and ran my tongue over his lower lip before kissing him. "I'll mark it on my calendar."
He drove me home. It was actually very early but I needed to make sure Clark was Ok. To talk about things we couldn't talk about with Lex there. The family was just finishing diner. I hadn't eaten but didn't say anything. I apologized to the Kent's for being so late; they said Clark explained about some misunderstanding with Lex. Jonathan snorted; Martha shot him "The Look."
"I've never belonged." Clark was opening up to me " I didn't speak English until I was five. My parents, our parents, still have tapes of me babbling a weird language locked near the ship. I was home schooled, not allowed to play with other children, punched holes in the walls when I didn't get a new toy. I've never been able to be totally honest with anyone, except maybe my parents and even then…"
"They're parents."
"Right."
"Clark you are different, you're special, and you are here for reasons that are beyond us. I'm glad you can trust me, it makes me part of your life like no one else. But Clark remember that other girl, the one you've had a crush on for years? Someday you will be able to tell her everything too."
"I don't think so."
"Why?"
"I don't think anyone else is meant to know. It takes so much energy to lie and to be careful all the time."
"You don't have to hid all the time now. And you will be able to tell others, I'm sure of that."
Challenged faced met and conquered, Veni Vidi Vici, We will have to add kiss to that I'll have to ask Lex the Latin word. But I think everything with Clark was going to be OK.
It got even better the next day when Lana slapped Whitney right across the face.
Chloe apologized and rewrote the article.
Lex came over and asked my parents about going to Metropolis.
Well three out of four ain't bad.
He looked miserable. Clark was sitting on a leather chair staring off into space; I wondered what he was listening to. Miles away a bird could be singing and Clark could be listening to its song but I think he was just lost in thought.
"Hey Clark." I whispered. His face lit up but then fell as if remembering he betrayed his two best friends. I knew he was blaming himself; it's what Clark did.
"Clark you are not beating yourself over this." I knelt in front of him; all but ignoring that Lex was in the room. Clark mattered now. "You kissed me, I kissed back. Don't lay blame on something that there is no blame for."
He looked at me then over my shoulder at Lex. Looking for approval, forgiveness, he had no need to ask but was any way. Clark thought he was in love with me, I was more real then Lana, I had his trust, and he did love me. He just couldn't be in love with me.
"I'm sorry Dori." He sighed a slight smile.
"There is no need to apologize Clark."
"Still…"
"I know."
Lex made a small cough, He smiled at Clark invited him for dinner. Everything would be forgiven and forgotten. That was friendship, that was trust, someday I hoped Clark would trust Lex, let him in but it wasn't my place to interfere with that. I needed to talk to Lex alone make sure he was all right. I never thought Lex would be the jealous type but then I never thought he would be gentle either. Not from the stories from Julie.
*****
Amy had left for good. Her parents had finally cracked down on her. They had a basic intervention and she was now in a rehab center. Julie was her replacement. Not as good a friend. She simple liked me because I listened to her stories. This story was about a certain bald man I almost got a chance to meet. Crazy, wild, a biter, rich and bald from head to toe. It freaked her out a bit but to Julie a lay was a lay.
The club was outrageous that night, the music seemed louder, movements more frantic but it could have just been what ever I was on that night. I caught a glimpse of Mr. Bald grinding next to Paul. I saw a glimpse and then he disappeared in the crowd. Julie ran up to me a short time later and told me about him. The more and more I heard about him the more I thought I would love to met him. The next few times I saw him he was wearing a hat. Hard to recognize in a crowd but still there almost every night, leaving with a different person, sometimes more then one, and sometimes but not often alone. He was in my memory, the foggy, hazy, drug and drink filled memory. But now I had new memories, of his complements, of his eyes following me across the room, of his hand on the small or my back and his lips against mine.
I didn't want it to end.
*******************************
And it wasn't going to. After Clark was sent home I stayed behind telling Clark I had to speak to Lex. He left knowingly, running home after telling Lex he needed to walk and think even in cold weather. Lex would drive me, Clark would explain to the Kent's in as little detail as possible.
Lex and I sat down and I asked him if he was really all right.
"Not really the jealous type Dori." Very unconvinced.
"Lex," I touched his shoulder making him turn towards me. Instead of talking I kissed him. Showing instead of telling that I wanted to be here with him. I felt his body respond against mine and he gently pushed me back, fingers entwined in my hair, body pressing to mine.
He moved to my neck placing small kisses and licks, my arms were wrapped around him feeling his make through his soft shirt. I started to untuck it wanting to feel the heat of his skin. I ran my fingertips down his sides and he nipped my neck. Julie was right about that. I kissed his lips once more, not wanting it to end knowing I should go home.
"I need to go home Lex."
He sighed burying his head in my shoulder. "One day I will beat the Kent curfew."
"But not today." I smiled. I felt more then saw his smile. He got up helping me up.
"Next weekend, you. Me. Metropolis no curfew."
I knew exactly what that meant. I smiled knowingly. "Alone with you, in Metropolis, How will I ever convince the parents?"
"I'm a great negotiator."
"I'm sure you are." I smiled into him and ran my tongue over his lower lip before kissing him. "I'll mark it on my calendar."
He drove me home. It was actually very early but I needed to make sure Clark was Ok. To talk about things we couldn't talk about with Lex there. The family was just finishing diner. I hadn't eaten but didn't say anything. I apologized to the Kent's for being so late; they said Clark explained about some misunderstanding with Lex. Jonathan snorted; Martha shot him "The Look."
"I've never belonged." Clark was opening up to me " I didn't speak English until I was five. My parents, our parents, still have tapes of me babbling a weird language locked near the ship. I was home schooled, not allowed to play with other children, punched holes in the walls when I didn't get a new toy. I've never been able to be totally honest with anyone, except maybe my parents and even then…"
"They're parents."
"Right."
"Clark you are different, you're special, and you are here for reasons that are beyond us. I'm glad you can trust me, it makes me part of your life like no one else. But Clark remember that other girl, the one you've had a crush on for years? Someday you will be able to tell her everything too."
"I don't think so."
"Why?"
"I don't think anyone else is meant to know. It takes so much energy to lie and to be careful all the time."
"You don't have to hid all the time now. And you will be able to tell others, I'm sure of that."
Challenged faced met and conquered, Veni Vidi Vici, We will have to add kiss to that I'll have to ask Lex the Latin word. But I think everything with Clark was going to be OK.
It got even better the next day when Lana slapped Whitney right across the face.
Chloe apologized and rewrote the article.
Lex came over and asked my parents about going to Metropolis.
Well three out of four ain't bad.