Lost in the Shadows
AUTHOR: Jennie (jennieln)
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net
WEBPAGE: http://jessifanfic.com/links
CATEGORY: Tristan/Rory but has elements of Dean/Rory and Jess/Rory
RATING: R
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!
DISCLAIMER: Me no own, you no sue.
Part One
FIGHTING MENTAL FAILURE
"Come on! Please?" Rory begged, jumping up and down which was a hard feat to do in the shoes she was wearing.
Dean shook his head and laughed. "I learned my lesson last year. You and your mother are both forbidden from fire, remember?"
She glumly nodded. "But it's not really fire, just a little sparkler. Look! She has one!" she said pointing to a little girl dressed as a firecracker who was swinging her sparkler stick in the air.
"Luke's hat," Dean said warningly.
"That was NOT me. That was my mom. Besides, it was a marshmallow, not a sparkler." She pouted and purposely made her lip quaver.
Dean seemed oblivious as he led her through the crowd. "The marshmallow was on fire, Rory."
"It was my mom!" she said exasperatedly, pulling out of his grasp/
"You're so cute when you're ticked." She ignored him, instead waving hi to Miss Patti and Taylor who seemed to be arguing. "Rory, I can't wait any longer."
That got her attention. "What? Wait for what Dean?" She watched as he got down on one knee, her curiosity soon becoming horror.
"I wanted to wait until midnight but I'm too anxious. Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"
Her heart stopped. A hand went to her chest in shock and confirmed it. Yes, her heart did indeed stop beating.
She knew they were drawing a crowd, they had to be, they were in Stars Hollow after all, but all she could see was the tiny diamond ring that was being thrust up at her.
Suddenly, her heart kicked back into motion, sending the blood rushing to her head. She reached past the ring, instead taking purchase on his wrist. He let her pull him across the street and a bit away before speaking.
"Rory?"
She stopped and faced him. How dare he use such an innocent tone with her. "Dean, I'm not ready for marriage."
"But you're leaving for Harvard in the fall. Rory, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you—"
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "First of all, I haven't even been accepted yet, and secondly, we've discussed this before! I don't want to get married until AFTER I graduate." She was growing angry at him. How dare he do that to her in front of the whole town? He probably thought that if they had an audience it would be harder to say no.
"I'm not saying we have to do it right away. I can wait as long as you need me to BUT I do need you to say yes now." He seemed desperate but it just angered her more.
"You NEED me to say yes? Dean, I can't. Please. I can't do this." Rory turned sharply on her heel.
"Don't walk away from me unless you don't plan on coming back," he threatened, his voice full testament to the pain he felt.
She stopped, her back still to him as she felt something die inside of her. The end… it came so suddenly. Without looking back, she ran as fast as possible to her home.
Once inside, she couldn't hold still. Pacing in the dark, she contemplated the fact that she wasn't crying. Why wasn't she?
It was just a matter of time before it got around to her mother and she came rushing home, but she wasn't in the mood to discuss what had just happened because it felt as though it didn't. She felt numb and that scared her, but at the same time it was nice.
She didn't want to turn on any lights, didn't want to face the harsh light of reality. The darkness surrounding her was comforting…. consuming. She was in a daze and she was afraid that at any moment the emotions would hit her.
Ignoring her cloudy mind, Rory kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen enjoying the feel of the cold in the tile seeping through her feet and into her body.
She moved deeper into the freezing kitchen, stripping off her puffy jacket. She tossed it to the side, flinching as the sound of glass shattered across the floor.
Sighing, she went to the wall and switched on the light, the harsh fluorescents making her squint. She collapsed next to the blue-tinged glass and pulled the wastebasket to her, tossing the delicate pieces into the trash. It was kind of like a metaphor for her life, being shattered like that.
Her mind numbly dissected the previous moment with Dean as she gingerly handled each sliver. What had Dean been thinking? Did they just really break up? A sharp sting in her finger brought her attention down and she dropped the bloody piece of glass. It was amazing that such a tiny sliver could cause such pain.
Moving her hand over the trashcan, she watched curiously as the blood dripped off her finger. Fascinated, she enjoyed the pain. It made her feel. Made her feel alive.
She glanced down and saw a crumpled yellow sheet of paper in the trash. Picking it up, she stained the sunny color with her blood. It was an invitation to Madelyn's New Years party that Rory had received in the mail. At the time it had seemed like a joke but now she saw it as an escape…
Maybe not an escape from herself but an escape from her town, the questions, and maybe the numbness.
She grabbed her keys, wrote a brief note to her mom, slipped on her jacket and shoes and jumped into her mom's jeep.
AUTHOR: Jennie (jennieln)
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net
WEBPAGE: http://jessifanfic.com/links
CATEGORY: Tristan/Rory but has elements of Dean/Rory and Jess/Rory
RATING: R
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!
DISCLAIMER: Me no own, you no sue.
Part One
FIGHTING MENTAL FAILURE
"Come on! Please?" Rory begged, jumping up and down which was a hard feat to do in the shoes she was wearing.
Dean shook his head and laughed. "I learned my lesson last year. You and your mother are both forbidden from fire, remember?"
She glumly nodded. "But it's not really fire, just a little sparkler. Look! She has one!" she said pointing to a little girl dressed as a firecracker who was swinging her sparkler stick in the air.
"Luke's hat," Dean said warningly.
"That was NOT me. That was my mom. Besides, it was a marshmallow, not a sparkler." She pouted and purposely made her lip quaver.
Dean seemed oblivious as he led her through the crowd. "The marshmallow was on fire, Rory."
"It was my mom!" she said exasperatedly, pulling out of his grasp/
"You're so cute when you're ticked." She ignored him, instead waving hi to Miss Patti and Taylor who seemed to be arguing. "Rory, I can't wait any longer."
That got her attention. "What? Wait for what Dean?" She watched as he got down on one knee, her curiosity soon becoming horror.
"I wanted to wait until midnight but I'm too anxious. Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"
Her heart stopped. A hand went to her chest in shock and confirmed it. Yes, her heart did indeed stop beating.
She knew they were drawing a crowd, they had to be, they were in Stars Hollow after all, but all she could see was the tiny diamond ring that was being thrust up at her.
Suddenly, her heart kicked back into motion, sending the blood rushing to her head. She reached past the ring, instead taking purchase on his wrist. He let her pull him across the street and a bit away before speaking.
"Rory?"
She stopped and faced him. How dare he use such an innocent tone with her. "Dean, I'm not ready for marriage."
"But you're leaving for Harvard in the fall. Rory, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you—"
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "First of all, I haven't even been accepted yet, and secondly, we've discussed this before! I don't want to get married until AFTER I graduate." She was growing angry at him. How dare he do that to her in front of the whole town? He probably thought that if they had an audience it would be harder to say no.
"I'm not saying we have to do it right away. I can wait as long as you need me to BUT I do need you to say yes now." He seemed desperate but it just angered her more.
"You NEED me to say yes? Dean, I can't. Please. I can't do this." Rory turned sharply on her heel.
"Don't walk away from me unless you don't plan on coming back," he threatened, his voice full testament to the pain he felt.
She stopped, her back still to him as she felt something die inside of her. The end… it came so suddenly. Without looking back, she ran as fast as possible to her home.
Once inside, she couldn't hold still. Pacing in the dark, she contemplated the fact that she wasn't crying. Why wasn't she?
It was just a matter of time before it got around to her mother and she came rushing home, but she wasn't in the mood to discuss what had just happened because it felt as though it didn't. She felt numb and that scared her, but at the same time it was nice.
She didn't want to turn on any lights, didn't want to face the harsh light of reality. The darkness surrounding her was comforting…. consuming. She was in a daze and she was afraid that at any moment the emotions would hit her.
Ignoring her cloudy mind, Rory kicked off her shoes and walked into the kitchen enjoying the feel of the cold in the tile seeping through her feet and into her body.
She moved deeper into the freezing kitchen, stripping off her puffy jacket. She tossed it to the side, flinching as the sound of glass shattered across the floor.
Sighing, she went to the wall and switched on the light, the harsh fluorescents making her squint. She collapsed next to the blue-tinged glass and pulled the wastebasket to her, tossing the delicate pieces into the trash. It was kind of like a metaphor for her life, being shattered like that.
Her mind numbly dissected the previous moment with Dean as she gingerly handled each sliver. What had Dean been thinking? Did they just really break up? A sharp sting in her finger brought her attention down and she dropped the bloody piece of glass. It was amazing that such a tiny sliver could cause such pain.
Moving her hand over the trashcan, she watched curiously as the blood dripped off her finger. Fascinated, she enjoyed the pain. It made her feel. Made her feel alive.
She glanced down and saw a crumpled yellow sheet of paper in the trash. Picking it up, she stained the sunny color with her blood. It was an invitation to Madelyn's New Years party that Rory had received in the mail. At the time it had seemed like a joke but now she saw it as an escape…
Maybe not an escape from herself but an escape from her town, the questions, and maybe the numbness.
She grabbed her keys, wrote a brief note to her mom, slipped on her jacket and shoes and jumped into her mom's jeep.