TITLE: Lost in the Shadows
PART: Seven
AUTHOR: Jennie
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!
NOTES: I had an idea of where this was going but recently read the same plot line in another fic whose author wrote it so beautifully I don't even want to attempt it now. BUT I have another direction that I will be going in so soon the summary will be changing...
IT'S ALL A BLURRED VISION IN A CRAZY HAZE
His heart was pounding again. He could feel its rhythm match that of his throbbing headache and to say the least, he was not a happy camper. The chair he sat in, though as expensive as it was, was so stiff that he found himself shifting his position every few seconds.
It was weird. It had never been this uncomfortable before.
"Tristan, honey, Dr. Weiss will see you now," the secretary, Tracie, said from behind her desk with a wink, breaking his vigil.
He stood and stretched before ambling to the ornate wooden door. He tried to smile flirtatiously at Tracie, per usual, but felt it come out more as a grimace. Embarrassed, he quickly slipped into the office.
*****
Tristan walked in and Dr. Megan Weiss could instantly see the tension in his body. She had seen him like this many times before but each time, it broke her heart.
She smiled, hoping to put him at ease. "Hello, Tristan. And how are you doing today?"
She watched as he took a deep breath and built a wall up around his emotions. A wall that she would now have to break down.
"I'm good. How about you? And your daughter? Cindy isn't it?"
Dr. Weiss had to admit that he was innately good at wearing this mask of normalcy. Unfortunately, he was becoming used to wearing it all the time.
"I'm fine and Cindy's still too young for you."
He chuckled and looked around from his position still by the door.
"Come, sit, get comfortable." She thought she saw a slight twinge but it was gone just as quickly. With a forlorn glance out the broad window facing out to a small park, he crossed to the couch to the right of her desk. She shifted, accommodating his choice of seating. "Are your parents back from Paris yet?" she asked, watching him sigh and noticing how his posture drooped ever so slightly.
"Yeah, a couple of days ago. I haven't really seen much of them, though."
"How do you feel about that?" She knew exactly how he felt. They had had this discussion before, but maybe the more he talked about it, the less jaded he would feel.
He shrugged. "Today was the first day back to school," he said soberly, deftly changing the subject to a more neutral one.
"Did you talk to Rory like I suggested?" She knew he hadn't the moment she said Rory's name. His eyes became like a deer's caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
He shook his head, swallowing hard and refusing to meet her eyes.
"Why not?" He remained pensive. "Maybe afraid of rejection?" she prompted.
He stood up and stalked noisily to the other side of the room. "I'm not afraid of anything," Tristan growled, throwing a glare at her as he paced a convoluted path around the antique table and chairs by the window.
"Then why wouldn't you talk to you? Tell her how you feel?"
"I—I just… it hurts to look at her, you know?" It was rare that Tristan flat out admitted a weakness and as startled as Dr. Weiss was, she sat quietly, mulling it over.
He paused by the window, sliding it open and letting the chilled wind come rushing in. She knew better than to comment. Instead she quietly slipped into her coat and observed the troubled young man before her. He dropped down weakly into a chair, but was on his feet again almost immediately, stalking around the room, his untucked uniform shirt billowing behind him like a tame storm cloud. Once again, he stopped by the window.
"Are you in love with her?" she asked softly, hoping to get an honest answer from the boy.
Tristan shook his head distractedly, his eyes searching the empty park and the darkening sky above it. "Love doesn't exist."
Swallowing back her words, the doctor watched as he continued his caged- animal pacing. It broke her heart to see such a young and talented boy so jaded and cynical. But then again she had seen it many times before with the children whose parents seemed to be in a marriage void of love. The years of observation were beginning to take their toll on him.
When it got to the point where she thought that he was just going to burn a hole in the rug, she finally sat forward and cleared her throat. "Tristan, honey, sit down." Ever so reluctantly, he slid the glass panes shut and flopped down onto the couch. "Why don't you try apologizing to her? The best relationships are those that are based on a friendship. So start off simply. The hurt you feel will begin to fade, you'll see."
He blinked, his face a conflict of emotions. She could tell that on one hand, he wanted desperately to be Rory's friend, but on the other, he was terrified of her reaction.
"From what you have told me about her, she seems to be too genuine to say no to a friendship. And even if it doesn't work out in the end, you will just go back to where you are now, losing nothing. Can you promise me that you'll talk to her?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, I can do this."
"Good. So tell me, have you talked to Travis lately?"
His face lit up as he began to regale her with his older brother's latest story from Harvard. As she watched his eyes sparkle in humor, she had no doubt that in the end things would work out for him.
*****
Rory grabbed her backpack and muffin and headed to the door, sending a quick wave over her shoulder to her mom and Luke at the counter, all the while, convincing herself that today would be a better day. She reached the bus stop a few seconds before the bus pulled up and she gave a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed was to miss the bus.
"Morning Hal," she said, dropping the coins into their allotted slot and continued past the familiar faces she saw five days a week until she came to her usual seat that was the sixth row on the right side. As she was about to sit, she noticed a big glop of purple gum directly in the middle of the seat.
Now that couldn't be good.
Even though only a quarter of the seats were actually taken, she ALWAYS sat in that seat and it felt wrong anywhere else. Resigned, she chose the bench in front of it.
Again, she tried to convince herself that the gum had been a fluke and that her day was only going to get better but the closer they got to Chilton, the more her stomach decided to do flip-flops. By the time she stepped off the bus, she felt physically ill from dread.
She was really losing it.
Suddenly, a hand touched her arm, startling her before withdrawing just as quickly. She turned and found herself face to face with Tristan. Instantly, Rory felt her face go green. She didn't think she could handle a confrontation today.
But she had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment, such as not throwing up all over his shoes. That wouldn't be such a good start to the day.
"Um, Rory… I—are you okay?" She glanced down at the pavement, unable to take his intense scrutiny. "You don't look so good."
She managed to wave a hand at his worries and forced herself to take a deep breath.
"Well, I wanted to know if we could talk sometime today. Lunch maybe?"
Quickly, she processed his words, eyeing with distaste the dark cloud cover that hung over the whole sky like some brooding menace. She'd never put much stock in omens, but those clouds certainly didn't help her mood any.
"I can't at lunch. I need to work on a project for English…" she trailed off in embarrassment as she realized that he was in her English class with her and had witnessed her humiliating moment the day before regarding the essay she had forgotten on her desk at home.
His eyes showed comprehension. "You convinced her to let you make the points up?"
God, she was tempted to run away. Far, far away where nobody could look at her the way he was at that moment. Was that pity? Yep, hurling was definitely an option at this point.
He cleared his throat. "Anyways, how about after school then… at your locker maybe?" He must've seen her apprehension. "It won't take long, I promise."
Nodding, she watched him smile and noticed how his eyes lit up at the action.
"See you then, Rory." He turned away and in that second she fled to the front doors and high-tailed it to the girl's bathroom.
Yes, she was quite aware of her impending insanity but it seemed to be the safest place available. The girl's bathroom was like hallowed ground. Nothing evil could trespass there.
Then she spotted Paris, Louise and Madelyn chatting at the front mirrors.
Scratch that thought. Evil lurked everywhere.
She turned right back around but Louise unfortunately spotted her and called out her name.
"What happened to you at the New Years party?"
Great, the nausea was back.
"Nothing," she answered, flinching when she heard how defensive her voice sounded.
"Sandy said that you left looking like somebody had killed your dog."
What the hell? She didn't even know a Sandy. Then Rory realized something. She slowly let out the breath that she had been holding when she realized that they hadn't mentioned anything about a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed boy. Maybe they didn't know. But then again, they could just be messing with her. Either way, she really didn't want to stick around to find out.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. "I don't own a dog." Without waiting for a comment, she turned and fled the bathroom.
It was going to be a long day.
*****
TBC…
A BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed. Honestly, it was what made me get this part out so fast! Thank you again!
Jennie
PART: Seven
AUTHOR: Jennie
EMAIL: jennieln@pacbell.net
WEBSITE: http://jessifanfic.com/links
DISCLAIMER: College student... need I say more?
PAIRING: Tristan/Rory but will have elements of Dean/Rory, Jess/Rory, and ?/Rory
SUMMARY: It's New Years Eve senior year when Rory's life ultimately changes and she realizes that there is no going back.
RATING: R for sexual situations and will be constant throughout the story.
SPOILERS: All of the first season. In this story the second season didn't happen, meaning Tristan never left!
NOTES: I had an idea of where this was going but recently read the same plot line in another fic whose author wrote it so beautifully I don't even want to attempt it now. BUT I have another direction that I will be going in so soon the summary will be changing...
IT'S ALL A BLURRED VISION IN A CRAZY HAZE
His heart was pounding again. He could feel its rhythm match that of his throbbing headache and to say the least, he was not a happy camper. The chair he sat in, though as expensive as it was, was so stiff that he found himself shifting his position every few seconds.
It was weird. It had never been this uncomfortable before.
"Tristan, honey, Dr. Weiss will see you now," the secretary, Tracie, said from behind her desk with a wink, breaking his vigil.
He stood and stretched before ambling to the ornate wooden door. He tried to smile flirtatiously at Tracie, per usual, but felt it come out more as a grimace. Embarrassed, he quickly slipped into the office.
*****
Tristan walked in and Dr. Megan Weiss could instantly see the tension in his body. She had seen him like this many times before but each time, it broke her heart.
She smiled, hoping to put him at ease. "Hello, Tristan. And how are you doing today?"
She watched as he took a deep breath and built a wall up around his emotions. A wall that she would now have to break down.
"I'm good. How about you? And your daughter? Cindy isn't it?"
Dr. Weiss had to admit that he was innately good at wearing this mask of normalcy. Unfortunately, he was becoming used to wearing it all the time.
"I'm fine and Cindy's still too young for you."
He chuckled and looked around from his position still by the door.
"Come, sit, get comfortable." She thought she saw a slight twinge but it was gone just as quickly. With a forlorn glance out the broad window facing out to a small park, he crossed to the couch to the right of her desk. She shifted, accommodating his choice of seating. "Are your parents back from Paris yet?" she asked, watching him sigh and noticing how his posture drooped ever so slightly.
"Yeah, a couple of days ago. I haven't really seen much of them, though."
"How do you feel about that?" She knew exactly how he felt. They had had this discussion before, but maybe the more he talked about it, the less jaded he would feel.
He shrugged. "Today was the first day back to school," he said soberly, deftly changing the subject to a more neutral one.
"Did you talk to Rory like I suggested?" She knew he hadn't the moment she said Rory's name. His eyes became like a deer's caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
He shook his head, swallowing hard and refusing to meet her eyes.
"Why not?" He remained pensive. "Maybe afraid of rejection?" she prompted.
He stood up and stalked noisily to the other side of the room. "I'm not afraid of anything," Tristan growled, throwing a glare at her as he paced a convoluted path around the antique table and chairs by the window.
"Then why wouldn't you talk to you? Tell her how you feel?"
"I—I just… it hurts to look at her, you know?" It was rare that Tristan flat out admitted a weakness and as startled as Dr. Weiss was, she sat quietly, mulling it over.
He paused by the window, sliding it open and letting the chilled wind come rushing in. She knew better than to comment. Instead she quietly slipped into her coat and observed the troubled young man before her. He dropped down weakly into a chair, but was on his feet again almost immediately, stalking around the room, his untucked uniform shirt billowing behind him like a tame storm cloud. Once again, he stopped by the window.
"Are you in love with her?" she asked softly, hoping to get an honest answer from the boy.
Tristan shook his head distractedly, his eyes searching the empty park and the darkening sky above it. "Love doesn't exist."
Swallowing back her words, the doctor watched as he continued his caged- animal pacing. It broke her heart to see such a young and talented boy so jaded and cynical. But then again she had seen it many times before with the children whose parents seemed to be in a marriage void of love. The years of observation were beginning to take their toll on him.
When it got to the point where she thought that he was just going to burn a hole in the rug, she finally sat forward and cleared her throat. "Tristan, honey, sit down." Ever so reluctantly, he slid the glass panes shut and flopped down onto the couch. "Why don't you try apologizing to her? The best relationships are those that are based on a friendship. So start off simply. The hurt you feel will begin to fade, you'll see."
He blinked, his face a conflict of emotions. She could tell that on one hand, he wanted desperately to be Rory's friend, but on the other, he was terrified of her reaction.
"From what you have told me about her, she seems to be too genuine to say no to a friendship. And even if it doesn't work out in the end, you will just go back to where you are now, losing nothing. Can you promise me that you'll talk to her?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah, I can do this."
"Good. So tell me, have you talked to Travis lately?"
His face lit up as he began to regale her with his older brother's latest story from Harvard. As she watched his eyes sparkle in humor, she had no doubt that in the end things would work out for him.
*****
Rory grabbed her backpack and muffin and headed to the door, sending a quick wave over her shoulder to her mom and Luke at the counter, all the while, convincing herself that today would be a better day. She reached the bus stop a few seconds before the bus pulled up and she gave a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed was to miss the bus.
"Morning Hal," she said, dropping the coins into their allotted slot and continued past the familiar faces she saw five days a week until she came to her usual seat that was the sixth row on the right side. As she was about to sit, she noticed a big glop of purple gum directly in the middle of the seat.
Now that couldn't be good.
Even though only a quarter of the seats were actually taken, she ALWAYS sat in that seat and it felt wrong anywhere else. Resigned, she chose the bench in front of it.
Again, she tried to convince herself that the gum had been a fluke and that her day was only going to get better but the closer they got to Chilton, the more her stomach decided to do flip-flops. By the time she stepped off the bus, she felt physically ill from dread.
She was really losing it.
Suddenly, a hand touched her arm, startling her before withdrawing just as quickly. She turned and found herself face to face with Tristan. Instantly, Rory felt her face go green. She didn't think she could handle a confrontation today.
But she had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment, such as not throwing up all over his shoes. That wouldn't be such a good start to the day.
"Um, Rory… I—are you okay?" She glanced down at the pavement, unable to take his intense scrutiny. "You don't look so good."
She managed to wave a hand at his worries and forced herself to take a deep breath.
"Well, I wanted to know if we could talk sometime today. Lunch maybe?"
Quickly, she processed his words, eyeing with distaste the dark cloud cover that hung over the whole sky like some brooding menace. She'd never put much stock in omens, but those clouds certainly didn't help her mood any.
"I can't at lunch. I need to work on a project for English…" she trailed off in embarrassment as she realized that he was in her English class with her and had witnessed her humiliating moment the day before regarding the essay she had forgotten on her desk at home.
His eyes showed comprehension. "You convinced her to let you make the points up?"
God, she was tempted to run away. Far, far away where nobody could look at her the way he was at that moment. Was that pity? Yep, hurling was definitely an option at this point.
He cleared his throat. "Anyways, how about after school then… at your locker maybe?" He must've seen her apprehension. "It won't take long, I promise."
Nodding, she watched him smile and noticed how his eyes lit up at the action.
"See you then, Rory." He turned away and in that second she fled to the front doors and high-tailed it to the girl's bathroom.
Yes, she was quite aware of her impending insanity but it seemed to be the safest place available. The girl's bathroom was like hallowed ground. Nothing evil could trespass there.
Then she spotted Paris, Louise and Madelyn chatting at the front mirrors.
Scratch that thought. Evil lurked everywhere.
She turned right back around but Louise unfortunately spotted her and called out her name.
"What happened to you at the New Years party?"
Great, the nausea was back.
"Nothing," she answered, flinching when she heard how defensive her voice sounded.
"Sandy said that you left looking like somebody had killed your dog."
What the hell? She didn't even know a Sandy. Then Rory realized something. She slowly let out the breath that she had been holding when she realized that they hadn't mentioned anything about a certain blonde haired, blue-eyed boy. Maybe they didn't know. But then again, they could just be messing with her. Either way, she really didn't want to stick around to find out.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. "I don't own a dog." Without waiting for a comment, she turned and fled the bathroom.
It was going to be a long day.
*****
TBC…
A BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed. Honestly, it was what made me get this part out so fast! Thank you again!
Jennie