Avery watched as Buffy finished her training, pummelling the punching bag, then followed her instructions. She was dripping with sweat, breathing hard and she knew she hadn't felt this alive in a long time. Buffy was a good trainer, Giles had done his job well. The only problem Avery was finding was that the slayer almost refused to speak to her.
Finished the exercise Avery grabbed a towel and threw it over her back. "What's the deal here?"
Buffy glanced at her. "What?"
"What is your issue? You can't train me without speaking to me." Avery put her hands on her hips. "Are you pissed because you found me trying to murder your honey last night?"
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Let's get two things straight here. Number one; I'm pissed because last night I walked in on slayer's fun hour with my honey. And number two; Spike is not my honey. I'm training you because the Council sent you. No other reason." She stared the other girl down for a moment longer, then disappeared into the front of the magic shop.
Avery rolled her eyes and towelled dry, then grabbed her bag and followed the path Buffy had taken. The shop was mostly empty except for Buffy's friends Xander, Willow and Anya. Buffy's sister was sitting at a table away from the others. When she walked through them, Willow smiled at her encouragingly while all the others either glared at her, or glanced away. Avery knew the only reason Willow cared was because she was still hurting over the loss of her girlfriend, Spike had told her the night before. It seemed to Willow right now that everyone needed a little affection, especially a stranger in town.
Avery tossed a smile back in Willow's direction, then left the store and the vicious, whispered comments behind.
* * * *
That night Spike found Avery sitting alone on a headstone near the front of the cemetery. She was wearing jeans and a tank top with a black leather duster over it, looking just as nice as Spike thought she looked the night before. She twirled a stake through her fingers, waiting for a reason to use it.
"Hi there pet." He said, coming up beside her.
She glanced up. "Hey vampire. You guys are kinda quiet tonight."
"I wish you wouldn't call me vampire." He murmured.
"I wish you wouldn't call me pet."
"It's a pet name."
"So's vampire."
Spike laughed. "Fine. Avery. Better?
"Much, thanks vampire."
"I thought you said you wouldn't call me that."
"No, I said I wished you didn't call me pet, but I know that won't stop you." She smiled at him. "I know your kind Spike, you don't give a damn about anyone else."
"Not true at all." He replied. "I care about lots of people."
"Like who?" Avery asked. "Out of all the people in the world, who would hurt you the most by saying 'you're a loser Spike' when you couldn't give a damn what most people think?"
He thought for a long moment, perched himself beside her on the headstone and sighed. "Buffy said it to me once, I nearly cried."
"Right."
"I did." He said defensively. "I have feelings y'know."
"Tears of blood?" She asked.
"That's a myth." He told her. "But really. I asked her to dance; not literally of course, we were talking about death and I told her that all slayers have a death wish."
"We do. Otherwise we wouldn't be called." Avery said, staring at the sky.
"I told her life is a dance, death is a dance and asked if she'd dance with me. She told me I was beneath her."
Avery was silent for a long moment. "So, when I asked you to dance last night . . ."
"It was the kind of invitation I've been waiting for all my life."
She smiled gently. "That's kinda sweet in a really sick, masochistic way."
"Life is sick." Spike said. "We're all sick, whether we want to admit it or not. She won't, or she can't. One of the two." He paused. "I really thought I was in love with her."
"You're not?"
"I . . . I'm not sure anymore. It's bizarre, isn't it?"
"What is?" Avery asked.
"How you can be told you don't have a soul a million times over and yet, when it comes down to it, we don't all believe it."
"You have a soul?"
"Always have. At least, that's what I believe. What else let me feel love and passion? What could let me feel jealousy and anger? Most vampires kill because they have to, I killed because I enjoyed it."
"And because you enjoyed bringing death to everyone you met, that makes it true that you have a soul?" Avery glanced at him. "I don't follow."
"Men who have souls kill every day. They rape, they hurt children and they beat their wives. There are some bloody sick men out there that have souls and no one argues that. No one says they've lost their souls, that's why they do it. But without a soul, you can't feel emotions, you lose them. The myth has always been that emotions are heightened when you're a monster, but they're not. They're lost." He paused, biting his lip. "Take any vampire that has been feared at any time. They're feared because they enjoy the thrill of stalking and killing people. They feel. Without a soul, those things are lost."
Avery nodded. "I think I follow." She smiled. "But this, us talking, this is still totally sick, you know that right?"
Spike smiled back. "Disgusting. We deserve to be shot. Course it wouldn't do much to me, but it might hurt you a bit." He sighed. "Why is it so easy to talk to a girl who wanted to either stake me or jump my bones yesterday?"
She rolled her eyes, something Spike found her doing a lot. "I did not want to jump your bones. That is such an exaggeration. Like I said, you're pathetic."
"It's a defence mechanism, isn't it?" He asked.
"What is?"
"The eye rolling, the bitchy comments." Spike peered at her. "You don't want anyone getting close because it scares you."
"Screw you." Avery growled, becoming angry at him.
"As I said yesterday, anytime."
She just glared at him and turned away. "You're just like every other bloodsucker."
Spike's voice softened, slightly hurt, "Believe me Avery, I have a soul."
She gently twisted the stake between her fingers. "If I didn't believe you, you'd already be dead."
The both fell silent, the night quiet and peaceful around them. Crickets chirped in the brush nearby, but it was the only noise that broke the still of the night. Spike could feel the headstone under him warmed slightly by Avery's body heat and he smiled. Thinking of her, he began to watch her from the corner of his eye. Moonlight shone through the trees, picking out sparkling red highlights in her hair that Spike had never noticed before. As he watched she began to subconsciously twirl the ring she wore on her right hand and twist the stake between her fingers.
"Quit looking at me." She said quietly.
"Sorry." Spike glanced away, hoping to break his obsessive need to study her, but her scent remained. It circled him, clinging to the inside of his nostrils. She smelled amazingly feminine with an underlying scent of masculine strength. Spike could detect the remains of raspberry shampoo and under that, her real scent. Everyone was different, Spike had always compared it to a finger print, and Avery was no exception. Hers was slightly sweet, smelling a bit like flowers, mixed with the clean, fresh scent that came in with a wind off the ocean. Spike inhaled deeply, concentrating on her true scent.
"What are you doing now vampire?"
Her voice startled him and he jerked back into reality. "Uh, smelling you." He was so surprised by her question that the truth came out immediately.
Avery frowned. "What? You were smelling me?"
"No." Spike answered promptly.
"You were too. Sick." She turned away, still frowning. "I mean, how would you like it if I smelled you?" Without giving him a chance to answer she leaned into his shoulder and inhaled sharply. Her scent rushed around Spike, making him dizzy. Her breath on his throat make him shiver with pleasure and Avery abruptly moved away.
"Okay, you smell like . . . well, kinda like soap and I have no idea how that happened since I know your crypt has no running water." She paused. "Yeah, definitely soap and a little bit of whiskey . . . kind of a spicy smell." She shrugged, suddenly embarrassed.
Spike closed his eyes. "You smell like the wind. The last time I smelled anything like you was sixty three years ago. I was standing on this bluff on the Atlantic ocean and the wind was blowing in my face. It smelled like salt and flowers." His eyes opened. "It was an amazing smell." He turned to Avery to find her glaring angrily at him.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
Spike struggled for words to answer her accusation and found none.
She shook her head angrily. "All I wanted was to come and talk after a hell of a day and instead I get this."
"Get what?" Spike asked incredulously. He could feel his anger beginning to boil. It astounded him how his girl could turn him on one second and make him want to kill her the next.
"I don't need this." She said, hopping off the headstone and standing in front of him. "I spent all day with Buffy and her pals. I don't know what their deal is, but they all seem to hate me."
"Could be they just figure out what a bitch you are."
"I don't need this." Avery repeated, then turned and stalked down the row of headstones.
"What are you talking about?" Spike called after her. He watched as she raised one hand above her head and gave him the finger.
"Oh, you stupid bint." He growled under his breath, then launched himself off the headstone.
Spike flew after Avery and slammed into her from behind, causing them both to tumble to the ground.
"Don't ever flip me off." He hissed, pushing her hard into the ground.
Avery sneered at him and swung at him, barely missing his jaw. Spike's resolve snapped and he pulled back his fist, knowing he shouldn't do it, knowing his head would scream. He hit her in the jaw, causing her head to snap back.
"Ow, you stupid jerk," she put her hand to her mouth, which had begun to trickle blood as Spike lay on the ground, curled into a ball.
"Bloody hell." He moaned, clutching his head The pain was searing, blinding and hot. It burned through his temples and down into his sinuses, causing him to grab his nose and twist it, trying to make the pain stop.
Avery leaned over. "Spike?" She gently pushed at his shoulder, rolling him over.
He was breathing heavily, his hands still covering his face.
"Look, you just punched me," she said, "you can't be serious!" When he didn't reply Avery leaned over him and gently touched his face. "Spike?" Her forehead creased in concern. She brushed his temple, pulled one of his hands from his face.
"I'm okay." He breathed suddenly. His face contorted in pain when he sat up, but he managed. Rubbing both temples Spike sighed, then glanced at Avery. He saw the blood slipping out the side of her mouth and down her chin and suddenly his stomach growled.
"What happened?" She asked.
"There's a chip in my head, that's why I can't hurt people. It gives me a hell of a headache." He paused, looking at her. "I'm sorry I hit you."
Avery shrugged it off. "Good, you should be."
His eyes followed the new drop of blood that squeezed itself out the side of her mouth. It made a fresh trail down her chin and Spike swallowed hard, his stomach rumbling again. Without saying anything, he leaned forward and touched the clean side of her face gently. Avery looked startled for a moment, then relaxed as his fingers danced over her skin, cupping her face. His other hand reached out and he placed his thumb near the drop of blood, pressing into her skin and moving upward, cleaning the blood off her face.
"All clean." He murmured, wiping off her face gently.
Avery smiled. "Thanks."
Without thinking Spike placed his thumb in his mouth and began to lick at the blood he had removed from her face. Avery's eyes widened in horror and she backed away slightly. Spike paused, then realized what he had done and pulled his hand from his mouth.
"Avery, it was just a natural reaction."
Eyes still wide, the slayer in training stood up slowly. She glanced at him one more time, then turned and vaulted over a headstone and disappeared into the dark.
Spike groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Stupid."
Finished the exercise Avery grabbed a towel and threw it over her back. "What's the deal here?"
Buffy glanced at her. "What?"
"What is your issue? You can't train me without speaking to me." Avery put her hands on her hips. "Are you pissed because you found me trying to murder your honey last night?"
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "Let's get two things straight here. Number one; I'm pissed because last night I walked in on slayer's fun hour with my honey. And number two; Spike is not my honey. I'm training you because the Council sent you. No other reason." She stared the other girl down for a moment longer, then disappeared into the front of the magic shop.
Avery rolled her eyes and towelled dry, then grabbed her bag and followed the path Buffy had taken. The shop was mostly empty except for Buffy's friends Xander, Willow and Anya. Buffy's sister was sitting at a table away from the others. When she walked through them, Willow smiled at her encouragingly while all the others either glared at her, or glanced away. Avery knew the only reason Willow cared was because she was still hurting over the loss of her girlfriend, Spike had told her the night before. It seemed to Willow right now that everyone needed a little affection, especially a stranger in town.
Avery tossed a smile back in Willow's direction, then left the store and the vicious, whispered comments behind.
* * * *
That night Spike found Avery sitting alone on a headstone near the front of the cemetery. She was wearing jeans and a tank top with a black leather duster over it, looking just as nice as Spike thought she looked the night before. She twirled a stake through her fingers, waiting for a reason to use it.
"Hi there pet." He said, coming up beside her.
She glanced up. "Hey vampire. You guys are kinda quiet tonight."
"I wish you wouldn't call me vampire." He murmured.
"I wish you wouldn't call me pet."
"It's a pet name."
"So's vampire."
Spike laughed. "Fine. Avery. Better?
"Much, thanks vampire."
"I thought you said you wouldn't call me that."
"No, I said I wished you didn't call me pet, but I know that won't stop you." She smiled at him. "I know your kind Spike, you don't give a damn about anyone else."
"Not true at all." He replied. "I care about lots of people."
"Like who?" Avery asked. "Out of all the people in the world, who would hurt you the most by saying 'you're a loser Spike' when you couldn't give a damn what most people think?"
He thought for a long moment, perched himself beside her on the headstone and sighed. "Buffy said it to me once, I nearly cried."
"Right."
"I did." He said defensively. "I have feelings y'know."
"Tears of blood?" She asked.
"That's a myth." He told her. "But really. I asked her to dance; not literally of course, we were talking about death and I told her that all slayers have a death wish."
"We do. Otherwise we wouldn't be called." Avery said, staring at the sky.
"I told her life is a dance, death is a dance and asked if she'd dance with me. She told me I was beneath her."
Avery was silent for a long moment. "So, when I asked you to dance last night . . ."
"It was the kind of invitation I've been waiting for all my life."
She smiled gently. "That's kinda sweet in a really sick, masochistic way."
"Life is sick." Spike said. "We're all sick, whether we want to admit it or not. She won't, or she can't. One of the two." He paused. "I really thought I was in love with her."
"You're not?"
"I . . . I'm not sure anymore. It's bizarre, isn't it?"
"What is?" Avery asked.
"How you can be told you don't have a soul a million times over and yet, when it comes down to it, we don't all believe it."
"You have a soul?"
"Always have. At least, that's what I believe. What else let me feel love and passion? What could let me feel jealousy and anger? Most vampires kill because they have to, I killed because I enjoyed it."
"And because you enjoyed bringing death to everyone you met, that makes it true that you have a soul?" Avery glanced at him. "I don't follow."
"Men who have souls kill every day. They rape, they hurt children and they beat their wives. There are some bloody sick men out there that have souls and no one argues that. No one says they've lost their souls, that's why they do it. But without a soul, you can't feel emotions, you lose them. The myth has always been that emotions are heightened when you're a monster, but they're not. They're lost." He paused, biting his lip. "Take any vampire that has been feared at any time. They're feared because they enjoy the thrill of stalking and killing people. They feel. Without a soul, those things are lost."
Avery nodded. "I think I follow." She smiled. "But this, us talking, this is still totally sick, you know that right?"
Spike smiled back. "Disgusting. We deserve to be shot. Course it wouldn't do much to me, but it might hurt you a bit." He sighed. "Why is it so easy to talk to a girl who wanted to either stake me or jump my bones yesterday?"
She rolled her eyes, something Spike found her doing a lot. "I did not want to jump your bones. That is such an exaggeration. Like I said, you're pathetic."
"It's a defence mechanism, isn't it?" He asked.
"What is?"
"The eye rolling, the bitchy comments." Spike peered at her. "You don't want anyone getting close because it scares you."
"Screw you." Avery growled, becoming angry at him.
"As I said yesterday, anytime."
She just glared at him and turned away. "You're just like every other bloodsucker."
Spike's voice softened, slightly hurt, "Believe me Avery, I have a soul."
She gently twisted the stake between her fingers. "If I didn't believe you, you'd already be dead."
The both fell silent, the night quiet and peaceful around them. Crickets chirped in the brush nearby, but it was the only noise that broke the still of the night. Spike could feel the headstone under him warmed slightly by Avery's body heat and he smiled. Thinking of her, he began to watch her from the corner of his eye. Moonlight shone through the trees, picking out sparkling red highlights in her hair that Spike had never noticed before. As he watched she began to subconsciously twirl the ring she wore on her right hand and twist the stake between her fingers.
"Quit looking at me." She said quietly.
"Sorry." Spike glanced away, hoping to break his obsessive need to study her, but her scent remained. It circled him, clinging to the inside of his nostrils. She smelled amazingly feminine with an underlying scent of masculine strength. Spike could detect the remains of raspberry shampoo and under that, her real scent. Everyone was different, Spike had always compared it to a finger print, and Avery was no exception. Hers was slightly sweet, smelling a bit like flowers, mixed with the clean, fresh scent that came in with a wind off the ocean. Spike inhaled deeply, concentrating on her true scent.
"What are you doing now vampire?"
Her voice startled him and he jerked back into reality. "Uh, smelling you." He was so surprised by her question that the truth came out immediately.
Avery frowned. "What? You were smelling me?"
"No." Spike answered promptly.
"You were too. Sick." She turned away, still frowning. "I mean, how would you like it if I smelled you?" Without giving him a chance to answer she leaned into his shoulder and inhaled sharply. Her scent rushed around Spike, making him dizzy. Her breath on his throat make him shiver with pleasure and Avery abruptly moved away.
"Okay, you smell like . . . well, kinda like soap and I have no idea how that happened since I know your crypt has no running water." She paused. "Yeah, definitely soap and a little bit of whiskey . . . kind of a spicy smell." She shrugged, suddenly embarrassed.
Spike closed his eyes. "You smell like the wind. The last time I smelled anything like you was sixty three years ago. I was standing on this bluff on the Atlantic ocean and the wind was blowing in my face. It smelled like salt and flowers." His eyes opened. "It was an amazing smell." He turned to Avery to find her glaring angrily at him.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
Spike struggled for words to answer her accusation and found none.
She shook her head angrily. "All I wanted was to come and talk after a hell of a day and instead I get this."
"Get what?" Spike asked incredulously. He could feel his anger beginning to boil. It astounded him how his girl could turn him on one second and make him want to kill her the next.
"I don't need this." She said, hopping off the headstone and standing in front of him. "I spent all day with Buffy and her pals. I don't know what their deal is, but they all seem to hate me."
"Could be they just figure out what a bitch you are."
"I don't need this." Avery repeated, then turned and stalked down the row of headstones.
"What are you talking about?" Spike called after her. He watched as she raised one hand above her head and gave him the finger.
"Oh, you stupid bint." He growled under his breath, then launched himself off the headstone.
Spike flew after Avery and slammed into her from behind, causing them both to tumble to the ground.
"Don't ever flip me off." He hissed, pushing her hard into the ground.
Avery sneered at him and swung at him, barely missing his jaw. Spike's resolve snapped and he pulled back his fist, knowing he shouldn't do it, knowing his head would scream. He hit her in the jaw, causing her head to snap back.
"Ow, you stupid jerk," she put her hand to her mouth, which had begun to trickle blood as Spike lay on the ground, curled into a ball.
"Bloody hell." He moaned, clutching his head The pain was searing, blinding and hot. It burned through his temples and down into his sinuses, causing him to grab his nose and twist it, trying to make the pain stop.
Avery leaned over. "Spike?" She gently pushed at his shoulder, rolling him over.
He was breathing heavily, his hands still covering his face.
"Look, you just punched me," she said, "you can't be serious!" When he didn't reply Avery leaned over him and gently touched his face. "Spike?" Her forehead creased in concern. She brushed his temple, pulled one of his hands from his face.
"I'm okay." He breathed suddenly. His face contorted in pain when he sat up, but he managed. Rubbing both temples Spike sighed, then glanced at Avery. He saw the blood slipping out the side of her mouth and down her chin and suddenly his stomach growled.
"What happened?" She asked.
"There's a chip in my head, that's why I can't hurt people. It gives me a hell of a headache." He paused, looking at her. "I'm sorry I hit you."
Avery shrugged it off. "Good, you should be."
His eyes followed the new drop of blood that squeezed itself out the side of her mouth. It made a fresh trail down her chin and Spike swallowed hard, his stomach rumbling again. Without saying anything, he leaned forward and touched the clean side of her face gently. Avery looked startled for a moment, then relaxed as his fingers danced over her skin, cupping her face. His other hand reached out and he placed his thumb near the drop of blood, pressing into her skin and moving upward, cleaning the blood off her face.
"All clean." He murmured, wiping off her face gently.
Avery smiled. "Thanks."
Without thinking Spike placed his thumb in his mouth and began to lick at the blood he had removed from her face. Avery's eyes widened in horror and she backed away slightly. Spike paused, then realized what he had done and pulled his hand from his mouth.
"Avery, it was just a natural reaction."
Eyes still wide, the slayer in training stood up slowly. She glanced at him one more time, then turned and vaulted over a headstone and disappeared into the dark.
Spike groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Stupid."