"When is this going to be over Litha?"
Litha rolled her eyes and readjusted the earpiece microphone she had on to talk to her mother. If she hadn't needed to check on Lina so terribly then she wouldn't be having this conversation. "Don't start with me Mum. I told you before that I don't have a choice in this."
"Oh that's right. You didn't have a choice. What were the options again?" Her mother's voice was bordering on sarcasm. But she knew better than to go that far because her daughter would just hang up on her if she did.
"Either I do this, or I forfeit three years of my retirement and three years of pay. Boone has it in for me." Litha kept her voice quiet and her back turned to everyone. Even so, she could feel Monica and Cody's eyes on her the whole time. Alex and Jake were in Frank's office talking most likely about her.
"Hm, let me see, three years of retirement and forfeited pay versus staying at the teaching assignment and kissing Lina every night. Tough choice."
Litha hissed. "I said STOP it Mother! It's bad enough I can't see her every day and can't call you every day to check up on her either, I don't need you making me feel even more guilty about this."
"Lillith. Please, I'm just concerned. You don't know how horrible it was for me to believe you were dead all those years..."
'Here it comes,' Litha thought. 'The guilt trip about how I didn't even tell my own mother that I wasn't dead.' she groaned and put her head down on the desk to rest on her forearms. In one ear, her mother was droning on and on about how harsh it was grieving for three years and trying not to hate Frank Donovan.
"Mother."
"And that man, the one who they told me shot you, Frank Donovan... honestly Litha, how could you have slept with him after what he did to you!" Mother's voice was horrified at the thought. Even still she rationalized it that if Frank hadn't shot her (even though he really didn't, Callahan did) that her Litha wouldn't have had to pretend she was dead all that time.
"Oh yes, Mother, let's lay all the blame at his feet. Totally forgetting that it wasn't him it was Lewis Callahan who shot me MOTHER. Get down off of your soapbox and leave Frank Donovan alone!" She hit the disconnect button and ripped the mic out of her ear to throw it down on the desk.
Monica and Cody had heard the last statement, as Litha's voice had risen to a shout rather than a hushed whisper.
"Everything alright, Agent Sinclair?"
"No, Monica, it's not. And please, call me Lillith or Litha." She sighed and leaned back in the chair.
Monica left Cody to his computers and sat down in a chair next to Litha. She picked up the earpiece microphone and toyed with it in her hands. "Mothers."
Litha looked at her with a 'you have no idea' look. "Mine delights in making me feel guilty for being both a Federal Agent and a mot... daughter."
The slip wasn't missed by Monica. Litha was hiding something? "I can assume from the last part we all heard that your mother blames Frank for your long absence from the real world?"
"Yeah. Still. Even after I spent the last twenty months trying to tell her differently. She still blames him for it, says that if he hadn't shot me, that I wouldn't have been gone. It's completely not in her view that it was someone different who shot me."
"Do you blame Frank?"
"Stop trying to profile and anlyze me, Monica. Frank was never an issue with who did what."
"Then why did you leave?"
"Because he tried to pidgeon-hole me into giving him explanations that I felt he didn't need."
"But, there's something else."
Litha looked Monica square in the eyes. "Why would you say that?"
"Litha, you and Frank were apart for three years, then together for two months, and then apart again for 18 months. I know that for a long while after you left, Frank was absolutely vile tempered. We were all afraid that he was going to hurt himself or someone else. Even Wallace flew in from D.C. to talk to him. You didn't even tell him where you were, Litha. What are you hiding from him?"
"Who says I am? Maybe I just realized that I didn't belong in his life..."
"You're lying."
Litha smiled. "I'm a Federal Agent, a Special Operations Instructor, and an Undercover Agent. My lies are truth and my truths are lies. Let it go Monica."
She stood and walked away towards Donovan's office. Monica wasn't satisfied.
"I can pull the recordings of that phone conversation, Litha."
"You do that Agent Davis. You go right ahead.. destroy three lives instead of one."
****
Litha rolled her eyes and readjusted the earpiece microphone she had on to talk to her mother. If she hadn't needed to check on Lina so terribly then she wouldn't be having this conversation. "Don't start with me Mum. I told you before that I don't have a choice in this."
"Oh that's right. You didn't have a choice. What were the options again?" Her mother's voice was bordering on sarcasm. But she knew better than to go that far because her daughter would just hang up on her if she did.
"Either I do this, or I forfeit three years of my retirement and three years of pay. Boone has it in for me." Litha kept her voice quiet and her back turned to everyone. Even so, she could feel Monica and Cody's eyes on her the whole time. Alex and Jake were in Frank's office talking most likely about her.
"Hm, let me see, three years of retirement and forfeited pay versus staying at the teaching assignment and kissing Lina every night. Tough choice."
Litha hissed. "I said STOP it Mother! It's bad enough I can't see her every day and can't call you every day to check up on her either, I don't need you making me feel even more guilty about this."
"Lillith. Please, I'm just concerned. You don't know how horrible it was for me to believe you were dead all those years..."
'Here it comes,' Litha thought. 'The guilt trip about how I didn't even tell my own mother that I wasn't dead.' she groaned and put her head down on the desk to rest on her forearms. In one ear, her mother was droning on and on about how harsh it was grieving for three years and trying not to hate Frank Donovan.
"Mother."
"And that man, the one who they told me shot you, Frank Donovan... honestly Litha, how could you have slept with him after what he did to you!" Mother's voice was horrified at the thought. Even still she rationalized it that if Frank hadn't shot her (even though he really didn't, Callahan did) that her Litha wouldn't have had to pretend she was dead all that time.
"Oh yes, Mother, let's lay all the blame at his feet. Totally forgetting that it wasn't him it was Lewis Callahan who shot me MOTHER. Get down off of your soapbox and leave Frank Donovan alone!" She hit the disconnect button and ripped the mic out of her ear to throw it down on the desk.
Monica and Cody had heard the last statement, as Litha's voice had risen to a shout rather than a hushed whisper.
"Everything alright, Agent Sinclair?"
"No, Monica, it's not. And please, call me Lillith or Litha." She sighed and leaned back in the chair.
Monica left Cody to his computers and sat down in a chair next to Litha. She picked up the earpiece microphone and toyed with it in her hands. "Mothers."
Litha looked at her with a 'you have no idea' look. "Mine delights in making me feel guilty for being both a Federal Agent and a mot... daughter."
The slip wasn't missed by Monica. Litha was hiding something? "I can assume from the last part we all heard that your mother blames Frank for your long absence from the real world?"
"Yeah. Still. Even after I spent the last twenty months trying to tell her differently. She still blames him for it, says that if he hadn't shot me, that I wouldn't have been gone. It's completely not in her view that it was someone different who shot me."
"Do you blame Frank?"
"Stop trying to profile and anlyze me, Monica. Frank was never an issue with who did what."
"Then why did you leave?"
"Because he tried to pidgeon-hole me into giving him explanations that I felt he didn't need."
"But, there's something else."
Litha looked Monica square in the eyes. "Why would you say that?"
"Litha, you and Frank were apart for three years, then together for two months, and then apart again for 18 months. I know that for a long while after you left, Frank was absolutely vile tempered. We were all afraid that he was going to hurt himself or someone else. Even Wallace flew in from D.C. to talk to him. You didn't even tell him where you were, Litha. What are you hiding from him?"
"Who says I am? Maybe I just realized that I didn't belong in his life..."
"You're lying."
Litha smiled. "I'm a Federal Agent, a Special Operations Instructor, and an Undercover Agent. My lies are truth and my truths are lies. Let it go Monica."
She stood and walked away towards Donovan's office. Monica wasn't satisfied.
"I can pull the recordings of that phone conversation, Litha."
"You do that Agent Davis. You go right ahead.. destroy three lives instead of one."
****