The Lord of the Silence: A Soap Opera
Episode One
By GamerGirl
[Start episode one]
James Sunderland was very confused at this point. Why was there blood on the road and what was that freaky looking thing that was walking around and puking acid stuff everywhere? Who knew right?
"Hmm, what if this is some kind of hoax? Oh, maybe that kid I used to bully in high school is finally getting revenge." James thought aloud.
James had received a letter from his wife Mary a few days ago. It said something about in her restless dreams she saw the town of Silent Hill, which is where he is now, and that she was waiting in their "Special Place". There's a problem though, Mary died.
James finally gave up thinking and started to wander around. He had found an annoying as hell radio and on of those puking acid monsters that looked like insane asylum patients and to top it off, a piece of wood that he could hit things with. He laughed at the piece of wood for awhile. He didn't know why.
James was about to go back the way he came into Silent Hill when he saw a figure that was turning onto Neely Street. No, wait, it was a... a person and it looked feminine! Maybe it was Mary!
With that thought sticking out in James' deranged mind, he started to follow the figure, not even noticing the pyramid shaped thing on its head…
Frodo Baggins stood on the boat launch in Silent Hill. He didn't know that yet though.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo? This doesn't look like- -"
"I know Sam! We must have taken a wrong turn somewhere."
Frodo turned around to look out into the lake but he was unsuccessful. Very unsuccessful. The fog had quickly rolled in and he couldn't even see two feet in front of him. Samwise Gamgee emerged from the fog a few moments later, with a look of embarrassment on his face.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo?"
"Yes Sam?" Frodo started getting very angry.
"I don't think we are getting to our destination."
"Oh and why is that Sam?"
"Because, I, uh, accidentally got scared and took a huge smelly shit in the boat and the shit burnt a hole in the bottom and the boat sunk. And there aren't any other boats…"
Frodo clenched his fists together and his face went a very dark purple. He was very angry. So angry that he could, kill Sam! That, unfortunately, wasn't an option.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo?"
"What!?"
"Where are we?"
"Who knows? But we won't find out just standing around here. Let's go!"
Sam didn't like the idea and took a shit which burnt the docks to a crisp. Frodo turned around when he heard something that sounded crisp behind him.
"Sam? What the hell was that?"
"Uh, sorry Mr. Frodo. The dock just burnt to a crisp because I took a power dump."
"Damn you!" Frodo yelled at Sam and then he turned around to discover the truths of that town in Mary's restless dreams, Silent Hill. He didn't know that yet though.
Harold Mason was in the little school girls bathroom on the second floor of the Midwich Elementary School, with someone. Or should we say something. His beloved radio. Too bad he didn't know that his life of thirty two years would be coming to an end, by the couple hundred aliens that were waiting in the little sewage hole of the bathroom.
"Okay, now Cheryl, when I fart, you start crying like a little girl and then Harold the gay ass fag will stop and run over to the toilet and then we'll do our plan." The leader alien said.
"All right!" Cheryl said while giving a thumb up.
Harold continued to dance with his radio to the "Breaking of the Fellowship" from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, which his beloved radio was playing. They were also making out. Just then, a wet fart was heard, followed by a little girl crying through a toilet.
Harold stopped and raised an eyebrow. Maybe that was Cheryl? After all, he was there looking for her. But, the radio and him were having so much fun together. So, Harold continued to dance and make out with his radio. The dildo popped out a few seconds later.
The aliens weren't too thrilled by this.
"What the fuck?" the leader alien said.
Cheryl was just about to go up through the toilet when something happened. The door opened and in walked a young woman. Harold stopped as soon as he saw her. Man, was she HOTT. She had long layered dark red hair and was wearing a red dress that fell to her knees. She was wearing a black leather jacket and black knee high boots.
"Hey there… bellbottoms!!??" The young woman stated, sounding obviously disgusted by Harold's choice of clothing.
"Yeah, my radio picked them out for me." Harold said while pointing to the little reddish orange radio that was up his ass.
"Oh, what's your name sir?"
"Harold, Harold Mason. You?"
"Melissa, Melissa Harris." It was obvious that she was mocking Harold's way of speech, so he decided to ask her another question.
"What about you? Who picked out YOUR clothes?" Harold asked with great pride, hands on his hips, radio up his ass, and a wide grin on his face.
"I did, and I picked this out for you too." Melissa said and then chop kicked his dick. She grabbed the radio from his ass and karate chopped it in half, shattering it to many pieces of hard plastic. Harold screamed in horror at this event. Harold then fell onto his face and everything went black. The sound of Melissa's fading laugh was the last thing he heard.
Melissa Harris was running down some random sidewalk, laughing insanely at what she had just accomplished. She had finally killed Harold Mason! Or so she thought. But, she wasn't quite done yet. She still had many assholes she needed to kill tonight.
It just so happened that lucky contestant number two was Pyramid Head, that fat, obese, ugly mugged asshole who had almost killed her… okay, not really…
Melissa had a great plan to get rid of Pyramid Head. And it had something to do with that TV show called Candid Camera… but instead, it was Pyramid Camera… or Melissa Camera… or something like that.
As the moonlit starts twinkled in the sky, Melissa disappeared into the night.
….a….rode….Harold…body….be…the…h….stripped….hi….off….ea…al……..rode………….tap…… ……camera………..t………nude………into……he…..night.
[Opening Credits roll to the tune of "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins". In this episode: James Sunderland, Pyramid Head, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Harold Mason, The Radio, Cheryl Mason, 200 aliens, and Melissa Harris. With a special mystery guest!]
Harold Mason was lying at the north end of Neely Street, crying like a little girl. His precious radio had been destroyed, by that evil woman by the name of… he couldn't remember. Why? Why his radio? What had his radio done wrong to receive that kind of punishment? Or was she trying to punish Harold?
Tears continued to roll down Harold's cheek. He was really cold and his penis was all hard. He actually came at one point a few minutes ago. Why was he so cold? Oh yeah, he was nude. Someone or something had taken his clothes. To make Harold Mason suffer. And whoever was doing this was doing a pretty good damn job.
Harold's tears stopped as he tried to think of what was happening before he was knocked unconscious. All he could remember was that he was at the Midwich Elementary School, with his radio. And some woman dressed in black… wait no, maybe red? Anyways, some woman came in and destroyed his radio and then knocked Harold unconscious, probably took his clothes and put him here too. But, he didn't know this all for a fact.
If only I could remember, Harold's sad, confused, and angry mind shouted.
Harold also wished he could move. He couldn't. He had no idea why. It was like he was paralyzed. He could only blink, breathe, cum, pee, shit, and sort of move his head around. Maybe in a few hours he would be able to move again.
Harold's thoughts accidentally went back to his radio. The reddish orange color that it had to it. The little dildo that was installed in it so it could his ride Harold's asscrack. The way they danced together. How Harold was going to… to purpose to his radio in a few days. The way his radio listened to everything he said.
That radio was his best friend and now it was dead! Shattered to pieces. But maybe, just maybe if Harold could move again in a few hours, he could get up and find some clothes, obviously, and then go back to the school and find the radio, and maybe remember what the hell happened. The radio…
Harold's sniffles turned into moaning little new born baby girl sobs. Since Harold was crying so hard, he had to shut his eyes. And because of this, he didn't even notice the figure that was bending over his face, ready to take a huge shit.
Pyramid Head was skipping happily down the street that went by the name of Neely Street. He was wearing his brand new pink dress. How he loved that dress. He wore it all the time. And it was also his first one. It made PHead so happy to be able to wear his pink dress. Not to mention the brand new pink high heels that Nemesis had just bought him.
He was hoping that Tyrant would like them as much as he did. PHead then stopped and started to briskly tap dance up the street. He was heading for the Woodside Apartments where he was meeting Tyrant. He was very excited. Tyrant was the love of his life. Actually, one of the many loves of his life. But, he wanted to marry Tyrant and wanted to have little baby Tyrants and PHeads.
But, he needed to break up with his pimps. He should have never joined the Pimps Anonymous Club. It was bad. He had to sneak out every night just to meet a pimp and then fool around with him. He had almost been caught a couple of times by Tyrant.
"Mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" a voice from behind yelled.
PHead stopped and clenched his fists together, very tightly. That voice was the voice he most despised, hated with a passion, wanted to destroy the existence of. That was the voice of his number one enemy to date, JAMES SUNDERLAND.
James Sunderland had turned onto Neely Street a few minutes before he saw a figure that looked like Mary up ahead. He had decided to wait a couple minutes before he shouted anything. He didn't want to scare his wife away. But, she couldn't be scared, after all, he had seen her take out a couple of those Patient Demons back there… with her hands.
One Mary had stopped skipping, which was very odd by the way, James decided to make his move.
"Mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" James shouted as he ran up to her, ready to make love to her on that very spot.
Mary turned around and James saw that it wasn't Mary. It wasn't a woman. It wasn't even human. It was Pyramid Head, his worst enemy to date.
"What… did… you… call… ME!!!???" PHead roared. Boy did his breath smell bad.
"Uh, I'm sorry Pyramid Head, I thought you were my late wife, Mary. You kind of looked like her fro- -"
"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!!!!" PHead picked James up by his shirt collar and held him about 12 feet off of the ground.
"IF YOU EVER INSULT ME WITH YOUR UGLY MUG AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOU IN HALF WITH THE GREAT KNIFE, YA HEAR PUNKASS JIMMY!!!!???"
"I think you have been mistaken, bad breath, but you see, you are the one with the ugly mug, not me."
PHead roared a great roar that almost made James puke and go deaf because his breath was so bad and his roar was really loud. James was being thrown in the direction of Neely's Bar a few seconds later. Before James could move, he was being dragged down the street.
"You are going to be VERY sorry that you EVER assumed anything today PUNKASS JIMMY!" PHead screamed and continued to drag James up the street.
Frodo Baggins and his good friend Samwise Gamgee were both standing at the end of Neely Street, looking at a dead end.
"So, what do we do now Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked, sounding particularly frightened out of his mind.
"I don't know. Maybe we should turn and go north. What do you think?"
"Uh, I don't know. What if we run into those weird monsters again?"
"It's not my fault that you are scared shitless of everything here Sam."
At that point, a great roar boomed through the air, making Sam take a huge power dump that splashed all over the place.
"SAM!!!!!" Frodo shouted, sounding disgusted.
"I'm sorry Mr. Frodo!" Sam replied and started crying like a little girl.
Frodo raised an eyebrow at his friend and then rolled his eyes. He started thinking about the roar they had just heard.
"I'm going to go and check out what that roaring sound was. You can either stay here or join me." Frodo said and started walking north up Neely Street.
A few seconds later, Sam was right by his side. He knew that would happen.
"I couldn't let you go all alone." Sam said.
"Oh yeah, or maybe you couldn't be left all alone."
"Aw man! Why do you have to be so smart and brave!"
"I don't know Samwise Gamgee, I really do not know."
And with that being the final word, Frodo and Sam continued walking up Neely Street, while a big tub of purple lard was slowly rolling behind them.
[Half time!]
Pyramid Head was dragging James down the street and was going to bring him somewhere and watch him suffer. That somewhere just so happened to be the Toluca Prison's woman's bathroom. That, for some really strange reason, made him think of the love of his life, Tyrant.
How he wished he could be there in the tiny little kitchen of their apartment, Room 307 to be exact, riding his devilish little cock up his hard anal ass.
The thought accidentally made him cum. He heard Jimmy James laughing so he threw him about fifty feet in front of him, very hard too. He could see James trying to get up so he quickly ran over to him and picked him up again and continued toward the Historical Society, the only known route to the prison. It wouldn't take them too long to get to their destination, after all, no one dared to go into the Historical Society because of him, the great Pyramid Head.
With that thought being thought in his little brain, he roared yet another great roar and entered the Historical Society. He still couldn't get his mind off of his little pimp Tyrant, and this asshole was making him late! So, he decided the death of Jimmy.
"Well, Jimmy James the punkass, I'm going to be a little nice to ya this time." PHead said as he continued to drag James.
"Oh, what are you going to cut off my arms and legs instead?"
"No. I'm going to throw you down the stairs of doom and watch you die!!!"
Before James could respond to his comment, PHead threw James down the stairs. The stairs that supposedly, never came to an end.
Frodo and Sam stood outside of some apartment building. One of the doors was locked but the other wasn't. Frodo knew because he had jiggled the handle, making Sam yet again, take a shit.
"Sam, why don't you stay out here while I go in and check things out?" Frodo said.
"But, but, Mr. Frodo! It's so scary in here and out here! What i- -"
"Sam, STAY HERE!! If you don't, well, then, you won't know where to find me."
Frodo turned away from his friend and entered the apartment building, locking the door as he went in so Sam couldn't follow him in. Inside, it was very dark, and something was moving up the stairs. Something that looked like a, a, short zombie with scissors?
Frodo shook his head and hit himself. He was probably just seeing things. And now, he was hearing something clanging together, almost like scissors, garden scissors.
"OH damnit, I'll have to follow it." Frodo said to himself and walked toward the stairs. It took him about ten minutes since it was so dark. Maybe that thing had X-Ray vision or something.
Frodo started walking up the stairs, not even paying attention to the screams and pounding on the front door that was coming from Sam.
Melissa was not very happy. She had just found out from one of her fellow friends, Lita Bloom, that Harold Mason was not dead. In fact, he was at the north end of Neely Street, nude. He couldn't move thought which was good. She had to pay him a little visit but at the same time, she had to tape Pyramid Head fucking his various pimps to destroy his life.
She had just seen him walking up Neely Street and if she wanted to tape him, she needed to get there now. But, Harold, damnit!, she thought, wildly cursing him.
Melissa had decided just to go to the Woodside Apartments, Veronica Warren could check up on Harold. Besides, it would only take a couple seconds to film PHead anyways…
She started to walk up Neely Street when she saw a huge fatass tub of lard rolling up the street and heard a scream just outside the apartments. What if that's Harold? Damn. Melissa started to run up Neely Street, turned left and saw something in the middle of the road, along with Twinkie crumbs. Harold? No, too little to be him.
She walked over to the figure in the road and kneeled down, realizing it was none other then a Hobbit.
"Uh, hey there?" Melissa said.
The Hobbit rolled over and farted very loudly. It sounded wet. She then saw some shit oozing out of his ass.
"Mr. Frodo is in there!" The Hobbit said, wildly pointing at the Woodside Apartments.
"Frodo Baggins? Really?" Melissa got up and crashed through the doors of the apartments, intending to find Mr. Baggins. She was sure he wouldn't mind doing her a little favor that included Candid Camera. That way she could see Harold, and Veronica could see Scissorman.
Melissa got a huge devilish grin on her face and ran up the stairs to her destiny… okay not really…
Cybil had just left Harold all alone in the café. Harold walked over to the counter and got a knife and a couple of drinks, along with a flashlight and a map. He looked at the radio but discovered that it was broken and had no use. Boy was he wrong.
Harold went to leave the café, handgun ready to kill anything that might pop out at him, when the radio came on. It was a loud static noise that emitted from the radio.
"Huh? Radio, what's going on with that radio?" Harold wondered aloud and walked over to it. He looked at it and realized how cute it was. The radio was probably scared and wanted Harold to take it with him. Boy, was he wrong again.
The window in front of him smashed open and in flew a huge bird, a creature with no skin and dried blood in some places. Harold started shooting at it, screaming as he did the job. It took Harold about seven shots since he missed a couple of times.
When the bird finally collapsed to its fatal death, Harold got up and looked down at it in horror.
"What the hell is wrong with this place?" Harold wondered aloud, again. He then turned to the radio and picked it up. When he touched it, he got a sensation in his penis that felt like he was going to cum, and he almost did until he put it in one of his coat pockets.
"Geez, how strange? Radio, what's wrong with that radio?" Harold asked aloud as he went to leave the café.
It was cold outside. Snowing and foggy so he couldn't really see. He started walking down a road that would lead him back to the alleyway where had had seen his daughter. As he was walking, the radio emitted more static, but Harold couldn't see anything, until a shadow was over him and something was being dropped onto him that was very hot and smelly. Kind of like, shit.
[End credits]
Episode One
By GamerGirl
[Start episode one]
James Sunderland was very confused at this point. Why was there blood on the road and what was that freaky looking thing that was walking around and puking acid stuff everywhere? Who knew right?
"Hmm, what if this is some kind of hoax? Oh, maybe that kid I used to bully in high school is finally getting revenge." James thought aloud.
James had received a letter from his wife Mary a few days ago. It said something about in her restless dreams she saw the town of Silent Hill, which is where he is now, and that she was waiting in their "Special Place". There's a problem though, Mary died.
James finally gave up thinking and started to wander around. He had found an annoying as hell radio and on of those puking acid monsters that looked like insane asylum patients and to top it off, a piece of wood that he could hit things with. He laughed at the piece of wood for awhile. He didn't know why.
James was about to go back the way he came into Silent Hill when he saw a figure that was turning onto Neely Street. No, wait, it was a... a person and it looked feminine! Maybe it was Mary!
With that thought sticking out in James' deranged mind, he started to follow the figure, not even noticing the pyramid shaped thing on its head…
Frodo Baggins stood on the boat launch in Silent Hill. He didn't know that yet though.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo? This doesn't look like- -"
"I know Sam! We must have taken a wrong turn somewhere."
Frodo turned around to look out into the lake but he was unsuccessful. Very unsuccessful. The fog had quickly rolled in and he couldn't even see two feet in front of him. Samwise Gamgee emerged from the fog a few moments later, with a look of embarrassment on his face.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo?"
"Yes Sam?" Frodo started getting very angry.
"I don't think we are getting to our destination."
"Oh and why is that Sam?"
"Because, I, uh, accidentally got scared and took a huge smelly shit in the boat and the shit burnt a hole in the bottom and the boat sunk. And there aren't any other boats…"
Frodo clenched his fists together and his face went a very dark purple. He was very angry. So angry that he could, kill Sam! That, unfortunately, wasn't an option.
"Uh, Mr. Frodo?"
"What!?"
"Where are we?"
"Who knows? But we won't find out just standing around here. Let's go!"
Sam didn't like the idea and took a shit which burnt the docks to a crisp. Frodo turned around when he heard something that sounded crisp behind him.
"Sam? What the hell was that?"
"Uh, sorry Mr. Frodo. The dock just burnt to a crisp because I took a power dump."
"Damn you!" Frodo yelled at Sam and then he turned around to discover the truths of that town in Mary's restless dreams, Silent Hill. He didn't know that yet though.
Harold Mason was in the little school girls bathroom on the second floor of the Midwich Elementary School, with someone. Or should we say something. His beloved radio. Too bad he didn't know that his life of thirty two years would be coming to an end, by the couple hundred aliens that were waiting in the little sewage hole of the bathroom.
"Okay, now Cheryl, when I fart, you start crying like a little girl and then Harold the gay ass fag will stop and run over to the toilet and then we'll do our plan." The leader alien said.
"All right!" Cheryl said while giving a thumb up.
Harold continued to dance with his radio to the "Breaking of the Fellowship" from the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, which his beloved radio was playing. They were also making out. Just then, a wet fart was heard, followed by a little girl crying through a toilet.
Harold stopped and raised an eyebrow. Maybe that was Cheryl? After all, he was there looking for her. But, the radio and him were having so much fun together. So, Harold continued to dance and make out with his radio. The dildo popped out a few seconds later.
The aliens weren't too thrilled by this.
"What the fuck?" the leader alien said.
Cheryl was just about to go up through the toilet when something happened. The door opened and in walked a young woman. Harold stopped as soon as he saw her. Man, was she HOTT. She had long layered dark red hair and was wearing a red dress that fell to her knees. She was wearing a black leather jacket and black knee high boots.
"Hey there… bellbottoms!!??" The young woman stated, sounding obviously disgusted by Harold's choice of clothing.
"Yeah, my radio picked them out for me." Harold said while pointing to the little reddish orange radio that was up his ass.
"Oh, what's your name sir?"
"Harold, Harold Mason. You?"
"Melissa, Melissa Harris." It was obvious that she was mocking Harold's way of speech, so he decided to ask her another question.
"What about you? Who picked out YOUR clothes?" Harold asked with great pride, hands on his hips, radio up his ass, and a wide grin on his face.
"I did, and I picked this out for you too." Melissa said and then chop kicked his dick. She grabbed the radio from his ass and karate chopped it in half, shattering it to many pieces of hard plastic. Harold screamed in horror at this event. Harold then fell onto his face and everything went black. The sound of Melissa's fading laugh was the last thing he heard.
Melissa Harris was running down some random sidewalk, laughing insanely at what she had just accomplished. She had finally killed Harold Mason! Or so she thought. But, she wasn't quite done yet. She still had many assholes she needed to kill tonight.
It just so happened that lucky contestant number two was Pyramid Head, that fat, obese, ugly mugged asshole who had almost killed her… okay, not really…
Melissa had a great plan to get rid of Pyramid Head. And it had something to do with that TV show called Candid Camera… but instead, it was Pyramid Camera… or Melissa Camera… or something like that.
As the moonlit starts twinkled in the sky, Melissa disappeared into the night.
….a….rode….Harold…body….be…the…h….stripped….hi….off….ea…al……..rode………….tap…… ……camera………..t………nude………into……he…..night.
[Opening Credits roll to the tune of "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins". In this episode: James Sunderland, Pyramid Head, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Harold Mason, The Radio, Cheryl Mason, 200 aliens, and Melissa Harris. With a special mystery guest!]
Harold Mason was lying at the north end of Neely Street, crying like a little girl. His precious radio had been destroyed, by that evil woman by the name of… he couldn't remember. Why? Why his radio? What had his radio done wrong to receive that kind of punishment? Or was she trying to punish Harold?
Tears continued to roll down Harold's cheek. He was really cold and his penis was all hard. He actually came at one point a few minutes ago. Why was he so cold? Oh yeah, he was nude. Someone or something had taken his clothes. To make Harold Mason suffer. And whoever was doing this was doing a pretty good damn job.
Harold's tears stopped as he tried to think of what was happening before he was knocked unconscious. All he could remember was that he was at the Midwich Elementary School, with his radio. And some woman dressed in black… wait no, maybe red? Anyways, some woman came in and destroyed his radio and then knocked Harold unconscious, probably took his clothes and put him here too. But, he didn't know this all for a fact.
If only I could remember, Harold's sad, confused, and angry mind shouted.
Harold also wished he could move. He couldn't. He had no idea why. It was like he was paralyzed. He could only blink, breathe, cum, pee, shit, and sort of move his head around. Maybe in a few hours he would be able to move again.
Harold's thoughts accidentally went back to his radio. The reddish orange color that it had to it. The little dildo that was installed in it so it could his ride Harold's asscrack. The way they danced together. How Harold was going to… to purpose to his radio in a few days. The way his radio listened to everything he said.
That radio was his best friend and now it was dead! Shattered to pieces. But maybe, just maybe if Harold could move again in a few hours, he could get up and find some clothes, obviously, and then go back to the school and find the radio, and maybe remember what the hell happened. The radio…
Harold's sniffles turned into moaning little new born baby girl sobs. Since Harold was crying so hard, he had to shut his eyes. And because of this, he didn't even notice the figure that was bending over his face, ready to take a huge shit.
Pyramid Head was skipping happily down the street that went by the name of Neely Street. He was wearing his brand new pink dress. How he loved that dress. He wore it all the time. And it was also his first one. It made PHead so happy to be able to wear his pink dress. Not to mention the brand new pink high heels that Nemesis had just bought him.
He was hoping that Tyrant would like them as much as he did. PHead then stopped and started to briskly tap dance up the street. He was heading for the Woodside Apartments where he was meeting Tyrant. He was very excited. Tyrant was the love of his life. Actually, one of the many loves of his life. But, he wanted to marry Tyrant and wanted to have little baby Tyrants and PHeads.
But, he needed to break up with his pimps. He should have never joined the Pimps Anonymous Club. It was bad. He had to sneak out every night just to meet a pimp and then fool around with him. He had almost been caught a couple of times by Tyrant.
"Mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" a voice from behind yelled.
PHead stopped and clenched his fists together, very tightly. That voice was the voice he most despised, hated with a passion, wanted to destroy the existence of. That was the voice of his number one enemy to date, JAMES SUNDERLAND.
James Sunderland had turned onto Neely Street a few minutes before he saw a figure that looked like Mary up ahead. He had decided to wait a couple minutes before he shouted anything. He didn't want to scare his wife away. But, she couldn't be scared, after all, he had seen her take out a couple of those Patient Demons back there… with her hands.
One Mary had stopped skipping, which was very odd by the way, James decided to make his move.
"Mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" James shouted as he ran up to her, ready to make love to her on that very spot.
Mary turned around and James saw that it wasn't Mary. It wasn't a woman. It wasn't even human. It was Pyramid Head, his worst enemy to date.
"What… did… you… call… ME!!!???" PHead roared. Boy did his breath smell bad.
"Uh, I'm sorry Pyramid Head, I thought you were my late wife, Mary. You kind of looked like her fro- -"
"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH!!!!" PHead picked James up by his shirt collar and held him about 12 feet off of the ground.
"IF YOU EVER INSULT ME WITH YOUR UGLY MUG AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOU IN HALF WITH THE GREAT KNIFE, YA HEAR PUNKASS JIMMY!!!!???"
"I think you have been mistaken, bad breath, but you see, you are the one with the ugly mug, not me."
PHead roared a great roar that almost made James puke and go deaf because his breath was so bad and his roar was really loud. James was being thrown in the direction of Neely's Bar a few seconds later. Before James could move, he was being dragged down the street.
"You are going to be VERY sorry that you EVER assumed anything today PUNKASS JIMMY!" PHead screamed and continued to drag James up the street.
Frodo Baggins and his good friend Samwise Gamgee were both standing at the end of Neely Street, looking at a dead end.
"So, what do we do now Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked, sounding particularly frightened out of his mind.
"I don't know. Maybe we should turn and go north. What do you think?"
"Uh, I don't know. What if we run into those weird monsters again?"
"It's not my fault that you are scared shitless of everything here Sam."
At that point, a great roar boomed through the air, making Sam take a huge power dump that splashed all over the place.
"SAM!!!!!" Frodo shouted, sounding disgusted.
"I'm sorry Mr. Frodo!" Sam replied and started crying like a little girl.
Frodo raised an eyebrow at his friend and then rolled his eyes. He started thinking about the roar they had just heard.
"I'm going to go and check out what that roaring sound was. You can either stay here or join me." Frodo said and started walking north up Neely Street.
A few seconds later, Sam was right by his side. He knew that would happen.
"I couldn't let you go all alone." Sam said.
"Oh yeah, or maybe you couldn't be left all alone."
"Aw man! Why do you have to be so smart and brave!"
"I don't know Samwise Gamgee, I really do not know."
And with that being the final word, Frodo and Sam continued walking up Neely Street, while a big tub of purple lard was slowly rolling behind them.
[Half time!]
Pyramid Head was dragging James down the street and was going to bring him somewhere and watch him suffer. That somewhere just so happened to be the Toluca Prison's woman's bathroom. That, for some really strange reason, made him think of the love of his life, Tyrant.
How he wished he could be there in the tiny little kitchen of their apartment, Room 307 to be exact, riding his devilish little cock up his hard anal ass.
The thought accidentally made him cum. He heard Jimmy James laughing so he threw him about fifty feet in front of him, very hard too. He could see James trying to get up so he quickly ran over to him and picked him up again and continued toward the Historical Society, the only known route to the prison. It wouldn't take them too long to get to their destination, after all, no one dared to go into the Historical Society because of him, the great Pyramid Head.
With that thought being thought in his little brain, he roared yet another great roar and entered the Historical Society. He still couldn't get his mind off of his little pimp Tyrant, and this asshole was making him late! So, he decided the death of Jimmy.
"Well, Jimmy James the punkass, I'm going to be a little nice to ya this time." PHead said as he continued to drag James.
"Oh, what are you going to cut off my arms and legs instead?"
"No. I'm going to throw you down the stairs of doom and watch you die!!!"
Before James could respond to his comment, PHead threw James down the stairs. The stairs that supposedly, never came to an end.
Frodo and Sam stood outside of some apartment building. One of the doors was locked but the other wasn't. Frodo knew because he had jiggled the handle, making Sam yet again, take a shit.
"Sam, why don't you stay out here while I go in and check things out?" Frodo said.
"But, but, Mr. Frodo! It's so scary in here and out here! What i- -"
"Sam, STAY HERE!! If you don't, well, then, you won't know where to find me."
Frodo turned away from his friend and entered the apartment building, locking the door as he went in so Sam couldn't follow him in. Inside, it was very dark, and something was moving up the stairs. Something that looked like a, a, short zombie with scissors?
Frodo shook his head and hit himself. He was probably just seeing things. And now, he was hearing something clanging together, almost like scissors, garden scissors.
"OH damnit, I'll have to follow it." Frodo said to himself and walked toward the stairs. It took him about ten minutes since it was so dark. Maybe that thing had X-Ray vision or something.
Frodo started walking up the stairs, not even paying attention to the screams and pounding on the front door that was coming from Sam.
Melissa was not very happy. She had just found out from one of her fellow friends, Lita Bloom, that Harold Mason was not dead. In fact, he was at the north end of Neely Street, nude. He couldn't move thought which was good. She had to pay him a little visit but at the same time, she had to tape Pyramid Head fucking his various pimps to destroy his life.
She had just seen him walking up Neely Street and if she wanted to tape him, she needed to get there now. But, Harold, damnit!, she thought, wildly cursing him.
Melissa had decided just to go to the Woodside Apartments, Veronica Warren could check up on Harold. Besides, it would only take a couple seconds to film PHead anyways…
She started to walk up Neely Street when she saw a huge fatass tub of lard rolling up the street and heard a scream just outside the apartments. What if that's Harold? Damn. Melissa started to run up Neely Street, turned left and saw something in the middle of the road, along with Twinkie crumbs. Harold? No, too little to be him.
She walked over to the figure in the road and kneeled down, realizing it was none other then a Hobbit.
"Uh, hey there?" Melissa said.
The Hobbit rolled over and farted very loudly. It sounded wet. She then saw some shit oozing out of his ass.
"Mr. Frodo is in there!" The Hobbit said, wildly pointing at the Woodside Apartments.
"Frodo Baggins? Really?" Melissa got up and crashed through the doors of the apartments, intending to find Mr. Baggins. She was sure he wouldn't mind doing her a little favor that included Candid Camera. That way she could see Harold, and Veronica could see Scissorman.
Melissa got a huge devilish grin on her face and ran up the stairs to her destiny… okay not really…
Cybil had just left Harold all alone in the café. Harold walked over to the counter and got a knife and a couple of drinks, along with a flashlight and a map. He looked at the radio but discovered that it was broken and had no use. Boy was he wrong.
Harold went to leave the café, handgun ready to kill anything that might pop out at him, when the radio came on. It was a loud static noise that emitted from the radio.
"Huh? Radio, what's going on with that radio?" Harold wondered aloud and walked over to it. He looked at it and realized how cute it was. The radio was probably scared and wanted Harold to take it with him. Boy, was he wrong again.
The window in front of him smashed open and in flew a huge bird, a creature with no skin and dried blood in some places. Harold started shooting at it, screaming as he did the job. It took Harold about seven shots since he missed a couple of times.
When the bird finally collapsed to its fatal death, Harold got up and looked down at it in horror.
"What the hell is wrong with this place?" Harold wondered aloud, again. He then turned to the radio and picked it up. When he touched it, he got a sensation in his penis that felt like he was going to cum, and he almost did until he put it in one of his coat pockets.
"Geez, how strange? Radio, what's wrong with that radio?" Harold asked aloud as he went to leave the café.
It was cold outside. Snowing and foggy so he couldn't really see. He started walking down a road that would lead him back to the alleyway where had had seen his daughter. As he was walking, the radio emitted more static, but Harold couldn't see anything, until a shadow was over him and something was being dropped onto him that was very hot and smelly. Kind of like, shit.
[End credits]